Please see our player page for Dustin May to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Happy Labor Day, everyone! Today, we celebrate all of those mothers who are in labor giving birth to us, so put your legs up, grunt real hard and scream at a loved one that they are a “bastard” or a “weasel-d*cked moron who isn’t even the real father.” You’ve earned this day, male or female, though I’m not sure how men earned a Labor Day. Do I have this celebration right? Any hoo! People acting like Justin Verlander‘s 3rd no-hitter was stamping his ticket to Cooperstown are hilarious. He was a lock for the Hall of Fame when he posed nude in the mirror with Kate Upton. Yesterday’s butter:  9 IP, 0 ER, 1 walk, 14 Ks, ERA at 2.56 is just another example of the legacy of one of the greatest pitchers ever. Everyone should stop to watch a Verlander game. That’s a ‘stop to smell the roses’ request because you deserve something as glorious as seeing Verlander throw a baseball. This is a request for you to live your life, not like you’re in labor with your feet in stirrups, but like your feet are on the ground and you’re reaching for the stars. Okay, now I’m just misquoting Casey Kasem. For 2020 and beyond, Verlander is an ace until he shows he no longer is, and I’m thankful for every one of his pitches that I’ve never owned on a fantasy team (eff me). Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Stephen Piscotty was IL’d — why? Don’t ask, he doesn’t know. Nick Martini was DFA’d. See ya round like an olive! And, in their place, the A’s called up Seth Brown (2-for-6, 2 runs, 1 RBI), their power-hitting prospect, who had 37 HRs in Triple-A. Baseball is so effed prospects are hitting 37 homers in the minors and everyone’s like, “Whatevs, Tommy La Stella hit 17 homers in 25 at-bats.” Tommy La Stella ruined everything for everyone! I hate you, Tommy La Stella! The Prospectonator doesn’t love Brown, Prospect Mike hasn’t had much to say on him, and I don’t know how much he’ll play, but I guess he’s fine in AL-Only leagues for now, and mixed leagues, if you need power. The A’s said, “(Brown is) Brandon Moss 2.0.”  Then call him, Re-Peat Moss. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Cincinnati Reds’ Sonny Gray ($11,300) is clearly the best starting pitcher on tonight’s FanDuel slate. And it’s not even close. He has a slate low 2.92 ERA, as well as the best strikeout rate (29.2%) of any scheduled starting pitchers for Monday. And now he draws a Miami offense that is putrid, particularly against right-handed pitching. The fish have a .125 ISO and a .285 wOBA against right-handers in 2019. The only knock against Gray may be the marked up price tag that FanDuel has applied. 

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, the Indians were to the Yankees as the Yankees were to the Orioles and the Orioles were to the Orioles during split-squad games in Spring Training and Spring Training is to Kevin Bacon. Five degrees! Take that, dentist of the mailman whose wife goes to Kyra Sedgwick manicurist!  This Indians’ scalping of the Yankees was a long, long time coming. What a narrative for Jose Ramirez this year. From April until June 30th, he had 5 HRs and was hitting .214.  In the next six weeks, he has 14 homers and is hitting around .300 (around because I didn’t feel like doing the math, deal with it), including yesterday’s part in the drubbing (2-for-3, 6 RBIs and his 18th and 19th homer).  Jos-Rami is the 1st time I can remember feeling like I nailed his preseason overrated post, while taking the W for saying to buy him in June.  A double W, a double-dub, a dubya with a dubya, a–Okay, you get the point. For 2020, I bet everyone will be ranking Jose Ramirez in the same place where I had him this year, tail-end of the 1st round vs. that top five crap they were all coming with this year. Otherwise? More W’s for Grey! A triple dubya, a worldwide W, a–All right, enough. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we move into the roundup, there’s a new fantasy football video at the top of this post. Watch, review and rate. Kidding, you goofs! You just need to watch. 2nd of all, join one of our fantasy football leagues before they’re all filled. Anyway II, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For a long time in his career, Jose Quintana seemed to be underrated in some fantasy circles and, if those people didn’t recognize Quintana’s genius, I’d call them jerks, so they were circle jerks. Early in his career, even his radar blips would end up being a tugboat filled with pandas rather a real scare. Then, later in his career, we boarded the tugboat and they were feral pandas. “Ling-Ling thinks my arm is bamboo!” Jose Quintana was no longer safe like the circle jerk Quintana, but became more of the feral panda Quintana. Recently, however, Quintana’s been a good blip again and the feral pandas are satiated with boba, greeting us with Panda Express menus. Yesterday, he went 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA at 4.11, and in three August starts:  1.89 ERA, 26 Ks and only one walk. He looks fixed, and I’m willing to give him more rope, but if I see one more gee-dee feral panda, all bets are off. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Not your Grandfather’s Top 100 Starting Pitchers…

When the robots finally take over the world and the rest of us have fallen, one last sentient being will remain on the planet taming and ruling over the machines: Grandpa-Donk. Until that time we must do our best to live in harmony with the androids. Don’t give the bots reason to overthrow humanity during your lifetime, let it be your children’s problem.

For fantasy baseball purposes, it’s that time of year to start leaning heavily on artificial intelligence. The sample of data available for Rudy’s mechanical offspring to crunch grows larger by the day. The rest of season player rater and streamonator are functioning like the well lubed machines they are. The top 100 starting pitchers for the remainder of this year will strongly weigh these robotic opinions as most pitchers only have 7-8 regular season starts left; match ups are of the utmost importance from here on out. Speaking of the bots, is there something in rest of season player rater’s pocket or is he just happy to see Andrew Heaney?!

The player rater has Heaney ranked as the #27 starting pitcher for the rest of the season. I did a double take when I saw the large rusty shaft protruding from player rater’s nether regions at the mention of Andrew Heaney. Looking closer, it makes some sense: Heaney threw two above average outings against the stacked Astros lineup in July before hitting the IL with shoulder soreness. He then came back strong Saturday with an abbreviated outing in Boston against a struggling, but still loaded Red Sox lineup. His swinging strike rate is up over 13% in his 49 2/3 innings this season with 58 strike outs, plus he’ll face the White Sox twice and maybe the Rangers twice over the next three weeks. Heaney’s arm should be fresh at this point, since he’s been hurt ALL season, so pick him up and trust fall into rest of season player rater’s cold, rigid, arm-like metallic stumps.

Here’s some more players rest of season player rater and Donkey both like for the stretch run…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week was one of our best articles of the season, as we got a fantastic week from streamers like Dinelson Lamet, Vince Velasquez, Jeff Samardzija and Mike Fiers. We’re going to look to keep that momentum here but it’s going to be tough.  

I always try to be transparent with you guys and I need to be honest about this week. Aside from our headliner, this is one of the ugliest streaming weeks I’ve seen all season. I mean, look at my second two-start streamer! Yuck! That means it may be better to avoid streaming this week and focus on hitting with so many studs having quality matchups. With that said, I do have some great one-start streaming options and one of my favorite two-start steamers of the year!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Michael Conforto went 2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 24th and 25th homer, and, like, his 43rd homer in the last month (9 homers since the break). Men, dudes, bros, youse, five lady readers, Goofusses and Gallants, Cousin Sweatpants, my peeps from another Easter basket! Conforto gets scorching hot for these month-long stretches that makes you think he could put it together for a whole year one of these days, um, years. He’s the third Met player in history with 100+ homers before the age of 27. The other two are Darryl Strawberry and David Wright. The three of them all stayed at a Howard Johnson in the offseason. HoJo puts on a team-building seminar on his back patio and provides snacks, and Lenny Dykstra works the valet. Conforto’s in-Confort-ible! *screams for 10 minutes* Okay. I’m back. If you look at Conforto’s peripherals he really is more this post-All-Star break hitter, and less the one that struggled for the previous six weeks prior to this. Hopefully, Conforto stays in-Conforto-ible for the rest of this year and into 2020. I can see it now! (Only another 18 months of bad 2020 puns.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Alex Wood looked solid as oak in his second start of the year since coming off the IL with back issues and pitched six and two thirds innings allowing just four hits and two earned runs while walking one and striking out five to notch his first win the year. Welcome back, Alex! Also, me. For those of you who follow my career closely (hi mom), I missed a few weeks there due to some mandatory volunteer work aboard the Sea Org. Turns out I’m starting the third level of my bridge in the church of Scientology and they recommended a full disconnect from fantasy baseball. But I’m back and stronger than ever before. My thetans have never been clearer and I’m pretty sure I can tell players to homer with my mind now. That’s right I told Mike Trout to do that. But back to Alex Wood! After an underwhelming debut versus Colorado last week (4.2, 7 hits, 2 ER, BB, 4 K), Wood returned looking like the pitcher the Reds have waited four months for with the 6.2 inning gem against his former team. Revenge game! Wood must have had an axe to grind. Outside of a couple solo homers surrendered, Alex limited the damage in a tough road assignment against one of the leagues best offensive teams. I’m buying Wood! It’s cherry, you guys! Is that enough wood puns for you, or wood you like more? Oak-key dokey, Alex gets the Cubs next week and I’d go out on a limb and pick up Wood if he’s still available!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy unofficial start to the weekend DFSers.  Richardo has started his weekend extra early (Wednesday) so I’m filling in this week.  I love playing the Friday night slates on FanDuel, they are usually jam packed with games and the more games, the more advantage I think I have on the field.  We’re getting a little short-changed tonight with only 12 games instead of the usual 15, but we’ll make due. For our cash game lineups tonight, you can’t help but build around Lance Lynn ($10,500).  If you had told me I’d be typing that sentence back in March, I’d have called you crumby with crackers.  There’s no denying Lynn has been phenomenal though, his 10 K/9 and 2 BB/9 is ace-like and his 2.94 FIP suggests his 3.83 ERA could even come down lower.  The Tigers on the other hand have been the opposite of phenomenal, they’ve been un-phenomenal. They rank ahead of only the Marlins in team OPS as well as team OPS vs. righties.  It’s ugly folks and Lynn is far and away your safest bet tonight.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?