Please see our player page for Sandy Alcantara to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Kinda obsessed with our Top 100 Fantasy Starts tool (not a tool as much as it’s a free list).  Since I’m writing this on Sunday, I’m not sure yet where Shane Bieber and his 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 15 Ks will rank, but my guess is 1st or 2nd overall.  (The tool (list?) updates after this is posted.)  Pretty deep into the season to have Shane Bieber throw possibly the best start of the year.  Bieber was the youngest Indians pitcher since 1987 with 12+ Ks — wow! — the last to do it was Greg Swindell — um, all right! Bieber was the 4th youngest since 1908 to have a 15-K, zero-walk game, the other three:  Gooden — crazy! — Kerry Wood — nasty company! — and Vince Velasquez — well, um, he had a good game.  Only two Indians starters in history with a shutout, no walks and 15 Ks are Bieber — damn! — and Luis Tiant, who at 78 years old just beat up my autocorrect for changing his name to Luis Taint.  Sunday’s start shows why I wanted to draft Bieber in every league.  Hopefully, he keeps it gong…gong…go I ng–Sorry, my autocorrect is scared to change anything now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, on the way to the park, Chris Paddack felt under the weather.  Not to confuse people, Paddack had the flu, there’s no weather in San Diego.  So, Chris Paddack was touching 100, and I’m not talking about his fastball.  As Paddack made his way to the mound, he’d cough and:  “You rang?”  That’s the on-staff hernia nurse.  Well, it’s not just the hernia nurse who’s on-staff when it comes to Paddack.  Yesterday, he dismantled the Mariners — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 9 Ks, ERA at 1.67 in 27 IP, getting some swinging strikes that were…Well, one swing by Daniel Vogelbach was the highest pitch generating a swing all year at four-feet and eight-inches aka “an Altuve.”  Currently, Paddack sits at 10 K/9, 2.7 BB/9 and a 3.80 xFIP, and, Steamer’s rest-of-the-season projections for him are 3.49 ERA with a 10 K/9 in 120 IP, i.e., a top 40 starter in all mixed leagues.  With all his commercials, Justin Verlander can push his Flonase down our throats (noses?), but Paddack pitching is sick — God bless you!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Arodys Vizcaino is out for the year.  Backdate that to spring training when he was having arm issues.  He needed to have his labrum fixed worse than an overworked gymnast.  Filling in for him is the dumpster fire that is A.J. Minter.  I’ve got a wild idea, hey, Braves, how about you sign Craig Kimbrel with the money you robbed from Albies?  Here’s Albies agent before the signing, “Albies, sure you want to take this deal?”  Albies replied, “Why are you asking, Al B. Sure?”  Then they stared at each other for five minutes until Albies had enough and signed.  The Braves’ bullpen is such a disarray of WUT, I don’t even know who their setup man is.  I guess it’s the guy working the docks in The Wire, but it could be the guy whose name was Riddle, but, due to poor penmanship, became Biddle.  A millennial just broke down my door and said, “It’s penpersonship.”  My bad!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
B_Don and Donkey are back to profiling dudes who play with balls. This week they look at two young bucks as Donkey digs in on Blue Jay’s unknown rookie Trent Thornton and B_Don puts Matt Strahm’s shaky debut under the microscope. Is Trent Thornton the real deal? Will Matt Strahm rebound? How many times can Donkey Teeth say “spin rate in a 20 second clip? Tune in and find out!
The Ditka Degenerates also talk about some week one pickups including Kolten Wong, Sandy Alcantara, Freddy Peralta, Jon Duplantier, and many more. The show is rounded out by a quick discussion on strategic differences in OPS leagues versus standard 5×5 leagues. The regular season sausage is super moist and extra steamy, taste it for yourself!

P.S. Rate and review the podcast on iTunes and be entered into a drawing to win one of these sweet puppies:
Just Tweet a screenshot of your review to @DitkaSausagePod or @DonkeyTeeth87.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If a tree falls in a forest, but no one drafts the tree does it make a sound?  That’s what it felt like this weekend at Razzball.  I’m sure a ton of people were angry that Daniel Murphy fractured his finger, but I heard nary a peep from the Razzball faithful.  I’m guessing because of where I ranked him.  According to FantasyPros, the top person ranked him 26th overall.  The worst ranking of him, and, oh, it’s just silly.  Some total numbskull ranked him 150th overall.  Wait a second, I’m that numbskull, and the awful ranking was actually him 26th overall.  I should’ve wrote an overrated schmohawk post for him, but I didn’t because I didn’t want to write this in February, “He’s old, and will get hurt.  End of post.  So, did everyone already take down their Groundhog’s Day decorations?”  I honestly couldn’t figure out why people were drafting him.  His projections were 22 HRs, .310.  I mean, okay, but kinda big whoop, no?  Meh, I guess it’s irrelevant now since I know none of you drafted him.  Right?  Riiiiiiight?  The good news is Garrett Hampson and Ryan McMahon should see more at-bats, and, just as I say that, the Rockies played Mark Reynolds at 1st base on Sunday.   Oh, Rockies, you dumb, dumb team, which is different than the creative team behind Dum-Dum lollipops.  They’re terrific.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Not Your Grandfather’s Top 100 Starting Pitchers… It was established in the first edition of 2019 Top 100 Pitchers: starting pitchers are much like grandparents. Exciting when they’re young and healthy, disheartening when they’re old and feeble. No reasonable mind would dispute the likeness between our elders and dudes who grasp and thrust balls for […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Going from a powerhouse system like the Braves to this Marlins farm is going to feel a little disappointing. But give Miami credit for making a couple of moves this offseason to quickly add some Top 100 talent. Not only did they sign Victor Victor Mesa out of Cuba, but also made the swap for Sixto Sanchez (and Alfaro to boot). I genuinely like following real teams during a rebuild. Unlike us dynasty owners, they have to worry about other stuff like putting butts in the seats and all that. I mean, I can only speak for myself. Maybe some of you charge admission for people to watch your live scoring feed while drinking an $8.00 Bud Light.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While Grey was off gallivanting in Jackson’s Hole sipping hot toddies and drafting his AL-Only team from heated chair lifts, I spent my day at a shady Illinois car dealership drafting my AL-Only team in that same league while getting fleeced on a used car. After I spent $35 on The Messiah, Adalberto Mondesi, Grey cracked, “I hope you get a better deal on that car than you got on Mondesi!” Oh real funny, Grey! That’s rich coming from the guy who spent $10 on Bryce Harper in an AL-Only league!

Nevertheless, my AL team took a turn for the worse when the car dealer tried to tack a $399 “Dealer Inventory Fee” onto the negotiated sale price. And that’s the story of how I spent $3 on Daniel Mengden and $1 on Chad Pinder in the all-important late stages of an AL-Only auction with the titans of the industry. Fortunately, our friend Scott White of CBS gave ya boy Donkey Teeth one more shot at the glory-hole in the NL-Only version of the same league. And this time, I wouldn’t be preoccupied disputing undisclosed dealer inventory fees while being stuck with auto-nominated Chad Pinders. Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and the tale of how I left Grey lusting after my Wong, again:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

NL WestNL Central | NL East | AL West | AL Central | AL East

I don’t pay much attention to Spring Training Statistics.  You never know who the statistics are coming against.  Baseball-Reference did, however, have an amazing tool last year that attempted to quantify the quality of opposing pitchers or batters faced during spring training games on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being MLB talent and 1-3 being high A to low A level.  This tool is great, but it averages all the Plate Appearances or batters faced.  You would still need a deeper dive to see if your stud prospect smacked a donger off of Chris Sale or off of your kid’s future pony league baseball coach.  So what should we watch for in March when we’re starved for the crack of the bat?  Ignore “best shape of their life” stories and Spring Training statistical leaderboards.  Pay attention to injuries and lineup construction and position battles!  Also pay attention to where Bryce Harper and Manny Machado sign… Note that those two signings can instantly eliminate some of the position battles detailed herein.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Do you remember the last time you swung and missed?

Maybe it happened at your beer league softball game? Or maybe it was during last week’s company-wide meeting when you thought you’d tell that funny story about the peanut butter thing but screwed up the beginning, and nobody laughed—not even Amber from accounting who giggles at everything—so you sat down all hot faced, feeling stupid all day?

Or maybe you’re thinking of that day you finally asked out Amber from Accounting, and that time she did laugh?

Nobody likes to swing and miss, is all I’m saying. And nobody likes that awkward what-what of trying to save a story from a bad opening line. Here’s some baseball-related proof:

Please, blog, may I have some more?