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Please see our player page for Sandy Alcantara to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

A.J. Smith-Shawver was called up yesterday. A.J. Smith-Shawver began pitching in 2020. You watched Tiger King; A.J. Smith-Shawver developed a 96 MPH fastball. You stuck a cotton swab up your nose; A.J. Smith-Shawver perfected an 88 MPH slider. You wiped down groceries from Door Dash; A.J. Smith-Shawver learned how to throw a 85 MPH change. You are not the same. He’s 20 years old! Wanna feel old? He graduated high school in 2021. Wanna feel dumb? You went to college; he went to the majors! This is why I love the Braves. They’re not afraid of promoting prospects. Take note, Reds! A.J. Smith-Shawver looks like he could surprise in the majors, like Spencer Strider did last year. Too much pressure for a prospect? Please. A.J. Smith-Shawver went up four levels this year. What do I have to show for the last two months? A bunion? A.J. Smith-Shawver is the Doogie Howser of MLB. Stop overachieving, you’re making me feel bad! By the way, if the Braves get Max Fried back, their rotation will include Jew, Jew, Smith-Shuster. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

James Paxton impressed again Friday night pitching six innings of one-run baseball, allowing seven base runners (five hits, two walks) and striking out five for his first win since August 2020! If you understand that headline you probably smoke way too much weed, stoner! More importantly, after dealing to the Cards last week (5.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, BB, 9 K), Pax did it again mostly silencing the Padres at home. Never mind that it had been almost two years since his last start, Paxton’s marching out there like he’s been doing this all season, providing stability to a Boston rotation that badly needs some of that. His command wasn’t as sharp as last week, but his only real blemish was a shot to Tatis, and c’mon, there’s really no stopping that guy. James had four strikeouts through the first three innings and while the 98 mph gas is obviously impressive its the fact that he’s mixing it up that makes me think he could be a serviceable starter going forward. We saw some first pitch curves, he kept hitters off balance mixing the fastball with the cutter, knuckle curve, change and got out of a bases loaded jam in the fourth. I held my breathe when he came out for the sixth but he ended the night retiring the last seven in order. Again, unlike last week, Paxton did not have his best stuff Friday night, he struggled with command and still managed to battle through six innings and that’s what really gives me hope. He threw 107 pitches (66 for strikes) the most he’s thrown in a game since 2019 as a Yankee (versus the Red Sox no less!). You’d think Manager Cora would be a bit more conservative with the pitch counts for his oft-injured starter but nay, they need James to be this guy and he was Friday night. He was Him. And as much as I hate that smug look on Chaim Bloom’s face, James now sports a pretty 2.46 ERA with a 14/3 K/BB in two starts since his return from Tommy John. Rafael Devers said of James through a translator, “He’s awesome.” Well said Raffy, and no rush on learning English any time soon–it’s only been seven years, you take your sweet time and focus on hitting dongs. As for the Big Maple James Paxton, with this line up behind him, he’s looking like he could be a useful fantasy starter in the right match ups, and hopefully these massive Pax rips are more than just smoke cause this new (old) game James Pax a real punch!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

First off, we have to wish our five female readers a very Happy Mother’s Day. I started a petition for next year’s Mother’s Day, where MLB puts a nipple on each base, and, when runner steps on it, it lactates. I think after I petitioned MLB last year to have hairy bean bags on the end of bats for Father’s Day, they’ve muted me somehow, so if you could boost this, I’d appreciate it. One guy who’s obviously a momma’s boy is Mitch Keller (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.38, 70 strikes out of 93 pitches). This comes after a 4-hit shoutout, which comes after four years of near-5 ERA pitching, which comes after being a highly touted prospect, which comes after emerging from his mother’s womb, because yesterday was all about moms! His peripherals are all saying everything Mitch Keller is doing is really happening vs. some kinda mirage that will evaporate when his luck runs out. The most incredible part of Mitch Keller’s star mitzvah is that he’s doing this prior to his trade to the Yankees for Albert Abreu and cash considerations. Oh, you know it’s coming, Keller high water. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“My wrist, well, guys and gals, chicks and *icks, you’re not gonna believe this, but, it’s 100%. My wrist is healed. It’s the best it’s ever felt. My wrist feels like Elton John during his imperial phase. My wrist is playing Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, and people aren’t hearing crap, but they’re hearing a masterpiece. My wrist is Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, doing all kinds of crazy judo chops in the supermarket aisle, and people are believing it, and are riveted. My wrist is Ty Cobb without the racism. My wrist is perfect!” This was a quote from Alex Kirilloff this year, and last year, and the year before. He was called up by the Twins, and played 1st yesterday (1-for-2). Kirilloff has been struggling with wrist issues since 2021. Almost exactly two years ago, he tore ligaments in his wrist. Those are the worst kind of after-dinner mints. Why do we care? If he’s healthy, he’s a 40-homer hitter with a .280 average. Sadly, we don’t know if we’re ever getting the purported strong-wristed Elton John or a limp-wristed Kirilloff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Please bend your knee, Gabriel Moreno, we have a coronation to attend to. Thank you.” Places sword on Moreno’s shoulder, then passes it over his head to other shoulder, and ceremoniously says, “Every fifth day, from today forward, you will be known as Boombalatty, so it’s now Pfaadt y Boombalatty. The perfect battery mate. You have no choice in this matter. Okay, now you can stand.” So, the Diamondbacks are showing their youth by exposing their baby Pfaadt. With Brandon Pfaadt being called up, the minors are closed now. *Matt Mervis pounds on door* Sorry, man, we just closed! So here’s what Itch’s said previously, “The 6’4” 220 lb Brandon Pfaadt got better outcomes than anyone could expect from a Triple-A Diamondback, posting a 0.99 WHIP with 74 strikeouts in 61.2 innings. Pitching coach Brent Strom has gotten great results from a lot of arms over the years, and Pfaadt comes gift wrapped with all the bells and whistles, carrying his plus velocity deep into starts and commanding his four-pitch arsenal like a veteran. I’m a veteran of fighting a war with Grey.” What? If it’s not clear, Brandon Pfaadt is a pickup in all leagues. Pfaadt chance I’m missing out on him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jordan Walker was optioned to the minors. What a joke of an organization. Their corresponding move was to give Taylor Motter a contract. I can’t even be mad. Who are we kidding, I am so mad! He was hitting .274 vs. righties and lefties! League average is .245! Only three teams collectively are hitting above .274. He tied the longest hit streak for someone under the age of 21 in 120 years! What is going on?! Is Oli Marmol dumb? I’m truly concerned he might lock himself in a closet and not be able to get out. Is someone keeping an eye on him? What if he forgets how to get out of his car? Does he have assistance? Can we make sure Oli Marmol remembers how to put on his pants?! Can we?! Can someone do that?! What is going on?! Seriously, I’ve seen some huge BS in my time, but this is up there with the top BS’ings in the history of BS. This takes the BS cake, then craps out more BS! What is happening?! He’s better than than at least half of the current Cards’ lineup!? I wanna hurt someone! *realizes I’m screaming this in a Dunkin’ and cops are looking at me* Um, but, ya know, I will simply drop Jordan Walker from my fantasy teams, instead. Honestly, I don’t feel better after this vent session. Oli Marmol fell asleep to Camp Granada the other night, got the “Hello Motter” part stuck in his head, and now we’re losing Jordan Walker because of an earworm! A freakin’ earworm! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With all the accuracy of genetically modified water, my rankings are here in full form! Imagine it like an early Cinco de Mayo present. Or if you don’t observe Cinco de Mayo, then at least it’s a May the Fourth (be with you) surprise. Like Rey finding Luke’s lightsaber, I hope that you find hope and light by knowing the hierarchical ordering of pitchers for your imaginary sports team. Now, concentrate really hard, and will your team to first place!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You thought every team having a Luis Garcia was confusing? You rued the day you ever learned there was a Trevor Megill and a Tylor Megill? You thought they were joking when they said there was another Max Muncy? You’re in a Holds league and get the shakes every time you see T. Rogers? You still have a headache from the time you drafted Ryan Braun, the reliever? Well, do I have a surprise for you! For a limited time only, we have two Logan Allens! It could be worse, they were both on the Guardians! Now, there’s one on the Rockies and one on the Guardians. That makes things easier because you’d never want a pitcher on the Rockies, so you only have to look at the team name and remember, “No Rockies pitchers ever.” So, why do we care? Well, outside of AL-Only leagues, we may not. Logan Allen (6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks) has a starting job right now, but Triston McKenzie and Aaron Civale could return at some point (in theory), and Hunter Gaddis is stretched out and might get another look. Since the “why do we care” became “why should we not care,” here’s an answer to the caring part: He consistently has a 11+ K/9 in the minors. Itch’s said, “A great athlete with plus balance and command who repeats his delivery with ease, Allen fits the Cleveland mold for pitchers who exceed their on-paper projections. He’s not an ideal candidate to add velocity at 6’0” 190 lbs, but Cleveland tends to find a way, not that Allen has needed more than his low-90’s fastball, plus changeup and average curveball to this point, and I’d like to stick Grey with a sharp point.” C’mon, man! Itch’s “Cleveland tends to find a way” is why I’m interested in deeper mixed leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Brett Baty was called up, finally!!!*

*It’s only been like two weeks. Aren’t you being a little bit overdramatic with the “finally” and the crazy cartoonish exclamation marks?**

*SHUT UP FOOTNOTE, YOU FREAKIN’ NERD!!!*

*Um, okay, but you’re a footnote too.***

***Sadly, the preceding two footnotes got into a scuffle soon after that exchange, and the cops were called as a postscript.

So, the Mets finally made the move we have all been expecting for the last two weeks, and, honestly, it should’ve been done when they broke camp. The Mets are not a stupid organization. Jinxed? Oh, hecks to the hey! But not dumb. I gave you a Brett Baty fantasy back in November. Nothing’s really changed from that. He’s one of the top callups this year, and should be rostered in all leagues. He could immediately break on the scene and hit 25+ homes and .270. My big question is does Buck bench Eduardo Escobar completely? I don’t think so, but I don’t know. Buck you, Showalter, play Baty! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! So sorry for this weekend and the problems the site’s had. We’ve hired a company to try to alleviate all the issues. Long story short, we were being attacked by bots and they were crashing us repeatedly. We should be good now. If you have issues logging in, you have to clear your browser cache about a month back, then log back in. I know, major pain in the ass. Sorry! Anyway II, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Playing fantasy baseball with Andrew Heaney on your team is like getting cozy with a heating pad as you fall asleep, and every five days that heating pad will keep you a perfect 73 degrees, but, once in a while, it will unexpectedly become 212 degrees. At first, you’re having a nightmare where your blood starts boiling, and you sleepwalk out of bed, grab a box of dry pasta from the cabinet and boil the pasta in your blood. That’s once in a while. Not yesterday for Andrew Heaney! Yesterday, Andrew Heaney (5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 8.22) made good on his promise from last year. Maybe he was visited by the Dodgers’ pitching pixies in the pregame to remind him what he was supposed to do. Maybe it was just the better matchup. Whatever it was, it worked. He cut his walks, and showed why he’s so tantalizing with his strikeout rate now up to 14.1 K/9. I’m such a sucker for this guy hopefully I’m not trying to boil fusilli in my blood next time out. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Will the Orioles’ front office answer the question why on earth they sent Grayson Rodriguez to the minors for five games? Because that’s got to be one of the biggest boneheaded decisions of the year so far. You can say, “Grayson Rodriguez needed more seasoning.” Okay, maybe, but five games? So, that reason is off the table. Seasoning reasoning? No go! You can say it’s because their staff had an opening after injuries, but you’re just carrying water for idiots. That doesn’t make any sense. They could’ve just went to a 6-man rotation and had him in the rotation. What was five games for? Why did you stress me out by sending him down to the minors for five games? Answer me! Are the O’s really that spiteful towards me? You can say they sent him down because Grayson Rodriguez forgot pants. That’s about the only believable reason. So, we back, baby! I love Grayson Rodriguez and he’s an automatic top 40 starter while he’s on the mound. Will there be some tough outings? Yeah, I suppose, but that could be for anyone. Hello, Andrew Heaney! Grayson Rodriguez is absolutely the real deal. Here’s my Grayson Rodriguez fantasy for more. On a side note, you know you’ve been doing this shizz for a long time when you have people telling you info before it happens. This story came to me first because the Grayson Rodriguez story was broken by our former pod/prospect man, Geoff. Crazy times!

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?