Friends, folx, well-wishers and haters — Happy third birthday to my tenure as the Top 100 SP writer. There have been ups (Robbie Ray), Downs (Scott), and 89,140 instances of me saying “that’s a lateral move.” When Grey found me living behind a Burger King dumpster in 2020 (yes, he was wearing one of those paper crowns), he came to me and said, “EWB, would you like to become the 15th most important imaginary sports pitching ranker on Reddit?” And I said, “King, you’re so short and your ideals are so pure. I will endeavor to be better than the previous guy yet not so good that we put the other 14 rankers out of business.”
Yesterday, the Nats’ GM Rizzo put his feet up on his desk, rolled up a million dollar bill and used it to lit a cigar filled with million dollar bills, saying, “And that’s why I gave Patrick Corbin $140 million eight years after his prime.” Patrick Corbin went 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 6.06. You can think to yourself, “Damn, I should’ve streamed Patrick Corbin yesterday because the Streamonator loved it,” but I’d prefer to think, “I ain’t ever starting a pitcher with a 6+ ERA.” His last three years of ERAs are…I’d ask for a drum roll, but they deserve a sad trombone…4.66, 5.82, 6.06. If we were in Bizarro World, you’d be collecting your crown from America’s Next Top Model and Patrick Corbin would be an ace. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chazz whiz, he looked good! Wait a second, did I just invent his new nickname? From Ground Chuck to Chazz Whiz: The Story of Charlie Morton as told to me by Statcast sliders. Yesterday, Charlie Morton went 7 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners (zero walks), 11 Ks, ERA at 4.84, and now we’re talking II. Related to but not Travolta and Alley, and no relation to Michael Harris II. Morton did look legitimately better than he’s looked recently. The lack of walks, and holding the Ks. The Morton issue was always mechanical, and that can get fixed at any point. He might’ve done it. It’s honestly impossible to know. As BDon and I have been saying on the podcast for the last few weeks, it was the curve that abandoned him. Not his velocity. The curve:
Looks pretty back if it’s generating swings and misses like that one. Will be interesting to see how he builds on this. Philly won’t be an easy assignment for Chazz Whiz; they’ll wanna get their licks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
It sure does seem like pitchers are dropping like flies. It’s probably the same every year, but this year it’s just affecting me more than others. And you know what, I don’t like it. Not one bit. Call me cold-hearted, but I don’t care if pitchers hit the IL, as long as they aren’t on […]
Remember that ultra-successful Hollywood box office hit Lucky Number Slevin? Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Lucy Liu, Josh Hartnett — what is this, The Sleventh Sense? That’d be a cool sequel, bee-tee-dubs. A little kid who steals money from banks because ghosts tell him all the secrets and then he uses psychic powers to steal from the rich and give to the poor. Who doesn’t love a Robin Hood archetype? ENYWHEY. Think about some kind of dumb title for this article like Week Slevin Top Hurlers! Hypehouse Arms: 2 Months minus 1 Week Edition! Can we get Jason Blum to produce this? Could use a good jump scare after this first item I share with you. Quickly, onto the Main Act!
Guten tag, Razzkindred! While last week was not the most injury-rich week (HOORAY!?), there were certainly some big names on the list (sorry to all of you who have Max Scherzer). There were 12 entries to the COVID-IL along with a holding pattern of various leg and back muscle injuries. Is someone on your roster […]
First, the bad news, Tyler O’Neill hit the IL with a right-shoulder impingement. Took how long for him to come up with some made-up injury? Hope it wasn’t very long, because it’s not believable. His exit velocity on his lame-ass excuse is almost as bad as his hitting. Take a TO, TO, you disappoint me. Replacing him…*drum roll*…Nolan Gorman is being called up for today’s game. Lezzzzzzzzzzzzzz Fudginnnnnnnnnnnnnn Gooooooooooooooooo! *jaw comes dislocated from screaming, goes to the hospital, doctor diagnoses me with Gormania* Gormania can’t be cured, according to WebMD. Does it matter that I keep wanting to call him Norman Golman? No, dude. So, he’s going to start at 2nd base, and Edman likely moves to the outfield. It’s about to get crowded in Saint Louie. Ugh, seeing they might have a cure for Gormania, it’s called a 35% strikeout rate. That’s not cool. Gorman could hit 45 homers, and .170. Here’s my Nolan Gorman fantasy; some stats might be a little off, but sentiment stays same. Also, I am go over Nolan Gorman at our Youtube channel. Click that link, hit subscribe and come back. Thank you! We’re halfway to thousand. Get us to thousand and never hear about it again. Here’s the video:
Also, getting the call was Matthew Liberatore to start on Saturday. If you think I’m slightly less enthused for Liberatore than I am for Gorman, you’re right. It’s a hitter vs. pitcher thing. Not much else. In 40 IP in Triple-A, Liberatore had 10.4 K/9, 2.7 BB/9, and 3.83 ERA, and he should have better command than that. Here’s what Prospect Itch said, “For a while, Liberatore seemed fated to become a blip in trivia history as the player acquired for Rays postseason beast Randy Arozarena. After 2021, skies look a little clearer. The club jumped him over AA and let him throw 124.2 innings at AAA, where he was six years younger than his average competitor. He struggled at first (5.21 ERA, 1.29 WHIP, 1.87 HR/9 through 11 starts) but got better results over his final ten turns (2.67 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, 0.78 HR/9). The WHIPs here show some luck both ways, but the home run ball was clearly his bugaboo early, and he cut that by more than 100 percent over the 2nd half. His pitch shapes could still leave him vulnerable in that department (his fastball doesn’t ride), but he’s adding velocity as he ages and was burying that big curve with consistency by season’s end. If he keeps that up, he’ll be a nice addition to the Redbirds’ rotation this year. And Grey is a big dummy.” Honestly, that’s fair. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Yesterday, Nick Pivetta went 9 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.22 vs. the Astros who put an absolute beating on the Red Sox on Tuesday like they were a garbage can lid. Yes, that Nick Pivetta aka The Stopper aka If The Red Sox Turn Their Season Around This Feels Like The Moment It Happens aka The Nick Pivetta of Every Fantasy Baseballers’ Dreams For The Last Five Years aka I Was Not Expecting That aka I Honestly Don’t Even Believe The Box Score And I Watched Five Innings Of This Game aka Nick Pivetta F*cks aka Should You Fall For The Nick Pivetta Tailpipe Again? aka That Means You aka Are You Following What I’m Putting Down? It’s Breadcrumbs To Nick Pivetta On Your Waivers aka Or Not But His Peripherals (8.7 K/9, 3 BB/9) Are Usable As Long As He Keeps The Ball In The Park aka Likely Streamonator In Shallower Leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Minnesota rookie shortstop slash prospect slash phenom slash heartthrob Royce Lewis finally broke out Friday night going 2-for-4 with his first career home run, a mammoth 105.1 mph grand salami! I don’t have to tell you that having your first big league home run be a grand slam foreshadows grandiose things for your future career. […]
First, let’s stop to address our five female readers. Google analytics says there’s two mothers, and one is my mom — hi Mom! — and the other mother is one of our frequent commenter’s moms making sure I don’t use any naughty words. I’ll let you decide which commenter it is. Happy Mother’s Day to you, our lone mother unrelated to me. Hopefully your son was as filthy, in a good way, to you as George Kirby. So, this is what it’s like being in a league with Prospect Itch. Rookie is called up, I go to the waiver wire, Itch already has said rookie player and I grumble like Lisa Simpson. Rinse and repeat. This weekend’s grumbles were accompanied by me looking for Royce Lewis, Jarren Duran and George Kirby. In Friday’s Buy column, I went over Duran and Lewis (great comedy duo, by the way), but I was too optimistic on both, since Duran’s already been sent down and Lewis might not be far behind. That brings us back to George Kirby (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks). His stuff: a triple-digit speedball that sits 102. Weird, I sit 101, but I’m talking traffic and on a freeway. Here’s Itch’s breakdown of Kirby, “His off-speed stuff is less impressive, but his double-plus command makes everything play up and turns the fastball into multiple pitches. If you know you can hit the inside corner or the outside corner to hitters from both sides of the plate, that soon factors into your thinking as two different pitches, strategically speaking. He’s 6’4” 215 lbs and puts it together in a smooth, athletic delivery that should help him stay healthy, in theory. His outcomes have been stellar at every stop so far. And here’s hoping Grey gets punched in the head.” What? C’mon, man! So, I tried to grab Kirby in every league. The command should help the avoidance of roofies, and the upside is real and it’s spectacular. Yesterday’s start made a patient team look dumb. Even the Prospectonator (projections for every rookie) is optimistic, and it’s never optimistic. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
While I may have taken some liberties with the spelling of the last name, can anyone tell me (without Googling) where my title comes from? I’ll give you a hint. The movie includes John Wick, Sodapop Curtis and Johnny Castle. But for now, let’s discuss Tylor Megill. Through five starts he is averaging 20 points […]
We’ve come a long way from the 2020 college pitching class that featured Max Meyer, Asa Lacy, Emerson Hancock, Reid Detmers, Garrett Crochet, Bryce Jarvis, Cade Cavalli, Jared Shuster, Bobby Miller… the list is as long as Mandred’s balls are deformed and unpredictable. Think of the 2020 class as Max Scherzer and the 2022 pitching crop as Patrick Corbin. Collegiate hurlers continue to go down with the injury bug, as yet another first-round talent has hit the shelf since the last Collegiate Corner update. In MLB Pipeline’s latest mock, only one college pitcher is projected in the first 26 picks — the recently-recovered Blade Tidwell out of Tennessee. For comparison, eight college arms went in the top 26 selections in both the 2020 and 2021 MLB Drafts. Safe to say, dynasty managers should be looking at this year’s crop and strategizing far differently for first-year player drafts compared to the last two seasons. Personally, I recommend placing a pair of old boxer shorts over your head and pecking at the keyboard with your elbows to make each selection. Truthfully, there’s a lot to like about the bats at the top of the class and a plethora of value options on the hill later on. We’ll discuss a handful of those hitters today in addition to touching base on the health of the pitching class.