For Mother’s Day, MLB uses pink bats. My suggestion for Father’s Day is bats with hairy bags hanging off the handle. This suggestion appears to fall on deaf ears, even though I go through the proper channels, filling out all the comment cards in the lobby at MLB headquarters. Even chitchatting with Jim, at security, for way longer than most people! No one hears my suggestions! Shoot, I was typing that instead of saying it out loud in the lobby. Hmm, my bad. Hope everyone’s Father’s Day was nice, with a special shoutout to the fathers who are “yelling at cars on their street to slow down” years old. You know who you are (all of you). So, all the fantasy fathers got good news this weekend, major rookie nookie incoming (not from their wives, as usual). First call-up was Alex Kirilloff, after being in my Friday Buy. Not sure if we’ll talk about him today on the podcast, since BDon spent the last six weeks talking about him incessantly like he lost a bet. Next up was Riley Greene, as he started in the majors on Saturday. Dan Pants gave you his Riley Greene fantasy on Saturday. I’ve been giving you a Riley Greene fantasy for the last six months. If you don’t pick up Riley Greene, you hate winning and America. You’re a Communist. I’m sorry, please enter your driver’s license number in the comments. We need to send people to your house. Finally, the Pirates made all our dreams come true. No, they didn’t dissolve into other teams, so all their pitchers could become aces. They called up Oneil Cruz! Literally just gave you my Oneil Cruz fantasy. It’s all there. The “it” I am referring to are his five tools and my post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Nick Lodolo to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
List season continues this week here at Razzball. It’s a stressful time for yours truly, if I’m honest with myself, as I don’t have time to write about everything I’m noticing just under the surface of prospect world. Stress isn’t negative all the time. It’s also an exciting time. Tickles the geek inside my haunted carnival of a baseball mind to check in with each and every prospect and rearrange them rung by rung, tier by tier.
51-75 was the toughest group on the list, in terms of my mind’s ability to settle on a decision and turn the page to the next task. It chewed through hour after hour of my life like the hungry caterpillar, and now I have a tummy ache.
I’ll try to stay concise in between the tiers here, but you can access a more in-depth consideration of each individual player by clicking on their names or skimming around in the 2022 Minor League Preview Index.
Here’s a link to the Top 25, Prospect Rankings Update: Corbin Carroll Headlines Top 25 for June 22.
And here’s a link to the Top 50, Prospect Rankings Update: New Top 50 for June 2022Please, blog, may I have some more?
While this baseball season has attempted to turn some of us (me!) full goth, I do have some pretty good news in this week’s edition of your Razzball fantasy baseball injury report: Ronald Acuna Jr. is back! It has been months in the making. Overall, injury incidences were down this week. New oblique injuries have […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sun beating down across a desert landscape. Sweat beading from my forehead. I lift a thermos to my face and spray my face with liquid to freshen myself. “I think I just sprayed my face with urine,” I say to no one, because no one is around. A mirage from the sand rises; it’s Pegasus. The horsey with wings kneels in front of me so I can get on. Pegasus turns to me and says, “I need to get you to an internet cafe so you can put Ronald Acuña Jr. in your lineup.” Thank you, Pegasus! Thank you, Ronald Acuña Jr.! Thank you, Tildaddy! Okay, now I’m just singing that crappy Alanis song, Thank you. I really needed Acuña (1-for-5, 1st and 2nd steal, hitting leadoff). Now stay on the field, Tildaddy says it’s October! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In November, White Sox front office contacts Eloy Jimenez to discuss his offseason conditioning, and he’s like, “Conditioning? Yeah, of course, I’m doing offseason conditioning,” then he looks in the mirror in his shower and smiles, hair filled with conditioner. Eloy Jimenez gets himself ready for each game with a very special pregame warm-up. He warms up and opens a button on his shirt. Warms up more, and opens another button. I was curious why Statcast said Eloy Jimenez’s exit velocity was “one to three weeks into each season,” but now I see what they meant. Seriously, though, what is going on?! Last year, he jumped for a home run ball that was 75 feet past his reach, and knocked himself out for months, and this weekend he strains his hamstring by running like an absolute madman through 1st base. Someone needs to pull him aside and be like, “Yo, my main man, you’re here to swing hard and hit homers. You can’t run fast, you don’t have Inspector Gadget arms to catch home runs. Just swing hard. That’s it.” I love this guy so much and he causes me so much pain. Almost as much pain as he causes himself. So, he will be out for six to eight weeks, and Tony La Russa will still find reasons to bench Andrew Vaughn! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Freddie Freeman (1-for-3, 2 runs and 1st homer) wasted no time making the Braves regret the way they treated him this offseason. First at-bat, Freddie Freeman stepped towards the box, but first he asked to see the mic the umps use to announce the bad calls they make to the crowds. Freeman leaned into the mic and said, “Tell Acuña it’s mutual, I don’t like him either,” then took the 2nd pitch of the at-bat to deep left, the oppo taco as they call it in Mexico, and his first home run of the year was tagged. As he sashayed across the plate, he snapped and said, “Braves ain’t gettin’ none of this.” Snap! Speaking of which, what do you call every image of Freddie Freeman? Tooth pics. Take it, Highlights! It’s yours! Freeman sure has some teeth, right? The molar the merrier with that guy. Stop stop, he’s got fillings too! Okay, I will stop reading bad joke posters at a kiddie dentist now. So many games were postponed, but some still to go over, tooth be told. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The left side of the mouth:
“Due to a pitch count of 80, Clayton Kershaw would not get a perfect game, but he would become the perfect symbol of his generation. Babied to the point where pitchers can no longer throw, they ‘pitch’ — whatever that means! When did we, as a society, get to the point where a pitcher can’t throw the ball? A participation perfect game, that’s what Clayton Kershaw got yesterday.”
The right side of the mouth:
“Clayton Kershaw has been battling injuries for years. His last year was cut short, due to injuries. He couldn’t pitch much in the preseason, because of the lockout and this was his first start of the year. Who cares about a perfect game? This is about keeping Clayton Kershaw healthy for as many innings as possible.”
The left side of the mouth:
“You’re a sissy.”
The right side of the mouth:
“What are you talking about? We’re just different sides of the same mouth!”
So, Clayton Kershaw (7 IP, 0 ER, 0 baserunners, 13 Ks) threw seven perfect innings, and nothing about him has changed since my preseason thoughts on him. He could be fantastic, but not even for a 9-inning game, let alone a full season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)
Today, I’m gonna be Mr. Monopoly! I don a top hat and tuxedo. Rolls giant foam dice, and…four! Sweet! Then I move along my office carpeting that is a giant Monopoly board. Ooh, pick a Chance card! Excellent! I put in my monocle so I can read, and the Chance card says, “Pick up a middle infield prospect.” Fun! I could grab Diego Castillo, Jeremy Pena, Bryson Stott, CJ Abrams, or Geraldo Perdomo. No problem for me deciding that! Who says variety is debilitating? *studies the stats for each player, a bead of sweat forms on my forehead, slowly that bead of sweat builds into a giant bucket of water and it crashes down on my face, waterboarding me* Help! Make it stop! I can’t decide who I want! So, let’s make like a gravedigger, and dig in.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On the eve of Opening Day, I’m trying to recall the last time so many high-profile rookies were scheduled to break camp with the big club. Might’ve been . . . never? Prospect coverage has come a long way these past few decades. Used to be cool to bash rookies and the prospect lovers who drafted them. Now you’re just leaving money on the table if you ignore the possibility that Julio Rodriguez opens the season in center field for Seattle.
Focusing on Rodriguez in particular, I moved earlier than Average Draft Position at the time to select him in the 18th round of The Great Fantasy Baseball Invitational. Pick 265. He went inside the top 75 this week. Incredibly weird to me that three weeks of stats is worth 200 draft spots in the echo chamber, but that’s the illusion of certainty for you. Object permanence. I guess there was an outside chance Julio stayed in the minors until July, but not really. Not without a catastrophe of some kind.
I’m already eager to see how next year’s crop of potential rookies is treated during draft season. Will we overweight the 2022 outcome, which happened partly due to a backlog built from the paradigm of punting combined with a CBA in flux and a lost 2020 season? Or is this simply the new reality? If a player is ready to help generate major league wins for a contending team, he will open the season on the roster. Sounds crazy, I know.
So let’s run through the list, consider the fates of each player, and celebrate what we all hope will be a new chapter in baseball history, where service time suppression starts to creep away from center stage.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Cougs saw a picture of Donkey Teeth and I at the Vegas NFBC Main Event and said, “You look like the movie Twins.” I smiled, then, after thinking about it for 20 minutes realized something, and texted my wife back, “Are you saying I’m Danny DeVito?” Then I saw the elipsis that she was texting, but those dots disappeared, and I never heard from her again. She now lives with Donkey Teeth.
— Razzball (@Razzball) March 26, 2022
So, had a great time in Vegas drafting this team, even if it was slightly uncomfortable having Donkey’s hand up my butt moving my mouth. More like Ventriloquist Teeth! For those not in the know about the NFBC Main Event. It’s a 15-team, 30-round mixed league draft. No IL spots, and weekly waivers. It’s a snake draft with a weekly FAAB. It also costs $1700 to enter, but the winner gets, like, $170,000 or something. Honestly, wasn’t doing it for the money. I was doing it so Donkey’s hand would be up my butt. Anyway, here’s our Main Event NFBC draft and recap:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Julio Rodriguez has made the Mariners’ Opening Day roster and I’m giving the longest “yeah boi” in history. Due to the longest “yeah boi” in history, I’m feeling lightheaded. Oh my God, I’m floating like Charlie and Grandpa Joe after they had too much fizzy, lifting drink. Is Cougs pumping my office full of helium? I’ve never felt happiness like this before. Not without dreaming of wearing a costume to make me look like a dumbbell and have Giancarlo curl me. This is…happiness, isn’t it? Have I broken free from reality? This is real, right? I’ve checked fifteen different sources, and it’s really real. I think. So, already gave you a Julio Rodriguez fantasy but listen to what Grey “Dumb B*tch” Albright said there, “Kelenic was up mid-May and that seems as good a bet as any. So, the M’s make a serious push to have all three of them (Kelenic, Haniger and Jul-Rod) in the outfield by May 15th. That feels aggressive, but no one calls him July — it’s Juli, if anything.” They’ve seen added Jesse Winker, and now Jul-Rod! My God, it’s wonderful. Julio Rodriguez or Bobby Witt Jr.? It’s not clearcut. This is giving me a heart attack. How did I not draft him in one single league? Am I mentally dumb? What is wrong with me?! I re-ranked Julio Rodriguez in the top 40 outfielders, and moved him way up in the top 500. He’s still behind Witt, but if Jul-Rod outperformed him it wouldn’t surprise me at all. Oh, and Rest in Waivers to Kyle Lewis. He was moved way down in the top 100 outfielders. Now, excuse me, as I return to my “yeah boi.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2022 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
First reaction to the Dodgers trading AJ Pollock for Craig Kimbrel was justifiably noisy in the FantasyVerse. People had been touting Kimbrel and drafting him as a closer for months upon months and only recently began to count how many chickens they’d pre-counted as eggs in the White Sox arm barn. Now Kimibrel was officially a Final Boss on the winningest team in baseball and people wanted to crow, which I tend to think is for the birds.
Next second, the internet turned to watch as all the Blake Treinen shares went poof into a fine powder. The phantom limb pains of those who’d just lost 30 saves could be felt everywhere around us.
A few internet moments later, Gavin Lux sprinted into the spotlight, charging the Twitter stage like Will Smith to smack the shit out of all the haters who’d buried him during draft season. Like me. Only I’ve been burying Lux on lists since way back when he was just a hotshot kid out in California, so I saw him coming and ducked out of there. My attention was elsewhere anyway.Please, blog, may I have some more?