Please see our player page for Zack Wheeler to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

*life flashing before eyes right before death* Wow, that’s a lot times I picked up and dropped Chase Anderson.   Is it weird I can understand where Mike Tyson was coming from when he said he wanted to eat Lennox Lewis’ children?  Some of these players — Sonny Gray, Jon Gray, Chase Anderson — come to mind that make me want to eat someone’s children.  Not really (yes, really).  Why couldn’t Chase Anderson do this when he was on my team?!  *lines tacks up on desk, slams head down*  I’m okay!  *blood dripping from forehead like Abdullah the Butcher*  I can’t see!  *screaming at intern*  Getmeahandiwipesoicansee–Okay, I can see again.  I’m still seeing blood though.  Yesterday, Chase Anderson went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.13.  The peripherals are still not there for Anderson — 6.1 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 5.17 xFIP — so I won’t be going back in on him.  That doesn’t mean it won’t make me think about salt and peppering some kids if he pitches well again.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Finally, the Rays took a cue from Fox, and started Jake Bauers‘ clock.  Here’s an updated 24:  FBI agent, breathlessly, into a phone, “The President is in danger!”  Assistant to the FBI director lowers the phone, speaks to the director, less breathlessly, “Have you tried Thai basil chicken?”  FBI director, “Basil in Thai dishes always make me think there should be tomato sauce.  Ya know, Italians have that basil thing already.”  FBI agent into the phone, breathlessly, “Did you hear me, the President’s in danger!”  FBI assistant, “Um, yeah, you’ve been on vacay, and we’re no longer taking matters of the President’s safety as seriously as much as we once did.”  I keed!  Don’t hit me with your political agenda.  So, Jake Bauers was called up to presumably play every day.  I mean, if the Rays waited this long to bring him up, they’re not doing it for a bench bat.  He’s a little bit of everything vs. a lot of one thing, which is less exciting in short-term, but could be something long-term.  His Steamer projections are yawnstipating 7/8/.238 (click his name to see projections), but I could see him being a bit closer to 9/16/.265/.345.  Not bad, not great.  Breathlessly, “He’s okay.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now, on most occasions, if one were to toot his own horn, he’d never leave the house.  And, coincidentally, I don’t go out that much.  However, seriously, rain down your props on me for Nick Pivetta.  Rain them down!  Who else told you to grab him the 1st week of the season?  Yesterday, he went 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.72.  I’ve been telling you people — yeah, you people! — to own Pivetta forever (six weeks).  He’s a new, different — better even! — pitcher this year.  He has a 10 K/9 and 2.2 BB/9.  If you don’t know why that’s good, I can help you, but it could take some time.  You do know what numbers are, right?  Okay, good first step.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Trevor Cahill hit the DL.  Fun Fact!  If you have Hill in your last name, there’s a 100% chance you’re injury prone and will be on the DL for the majority of the season.  It’s a curse that began when Curt Schilling put ketchup on his ankle. With Cahill being DL’d, the A’s brought up Dustin Fowler to, uh, hit.  Yo, A’s, you lose a pitcher and bring up a hitter?  Michael Lewis is right, you do do things differently!  Speaking of do-do, how about those A’s?!  I’m being unnecessarily harsh.  A thousand apologies to the 1,200 A’s fans that are three-quarters of a mile away from the field, just past foul territory.  Any hoo!  Here’s what Prospect Ralph said about Fowler, “Fowler hints at an enticing set of fantasy tools. His combination of power, steals, and the ability to hit for contact make him a potential five category contributor in 5×5 roto formats. Could return a .270/20/20 season if his surgically-repaired knee holds up.  If only we could surgically repair Grey’s brain.”  What the hell, my dude!  Fowler should start at center over Canha, who should now platoon with Joyce, who should be out of the league.  I didn’t grab Fowler anywhere, but I could see it for a power/speed combo.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dodgers rookie/phenom/franchise savior Walker Buehler continued to impress Friday night combining with three other relievers to no-hit the sad, sad Padres. Walker went six innings on 93 pitches striking out eight while walking three for his second win in just his third major league start. He is good at throwing baseballs. With three of the Dodgers’ best players hitting the DL recently the defending NL champs need something positive to grasp onto right now, and if Buehler can be their Baby Kershaw than way less fans would have to jump on the Angels’ bandwagon, which is already pretty full considering its carrying over a quarter of the Japanese population. The Dodgers top prospect has been every bit the flamethrower he was advertised to be with his 99 mph fastball which he can locate with pinpoint accuracy and he also features a decent slider and curve. You can read Ralph’s profile on him here if you don’t trust a word I’m saying, but honestly, I’m only trying to help. Maybe his 1.13 ERA and 1.06 WHIP with a 19/7 K/BB in 16.0 IP will convince you? To be fair, his three starts have come against arguably the worst three teams in the league in Miami, San Francisco and San Diego, but to be even more fair, he matches up with unarguably the worst team in the league record-wise in the Cinncinati Reds next week. Yes, you should own him! The upside here, especially for those sweet, juicy strikeouts, is immense, and outweighs any concerns about locating his breaking balls or off-speed stuff, high pitch counts going deep into games, or his rumored rocky relationship with Kershaw. That last concern I made up just now! If he’s still out there in your league, runner don’t Walker to the waiver wire to grab Buehler. This kid’s gonna be a start! Ha-cha-cha!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*walking through a packed hallway, head nodding at the ladies* “What’s up, chiquitas?  Que paso, senoritas?  Assume there was an upside down question mark in front of that question.  I’m feeling pretty good, and it’s not just because I’m wearing my extra tight bicycle shorts that make me aroused when I cough.  Nope!  RONALD ACUNA IS UP!  Hey, so are my letters.  Preston Tucker?  How about you Tuck off?!  I’m so pumped!!!  Seriously.  I wanna make love to my fantasy team where I have Acuna.” *realizing I don’t know what hallway this is and need to leave before I’m arrested*  Here’s my Ronald Acuna fantasy.  Go look at the GIF I have there and tell me you’re not aroused.  Don’t send pics!  I said he’d be up mid-April.  Oops, one week off!  And his projections were 74/17/77/.304/21 in 514 ABs!  I need to sit down.  Wait, I am sitting!!!  AHHHH!!!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Indians and Twins set sail for the Caribbean island of Puerto Rico to rid themselves of the cold weather.  Puig should really be from there, because white people pronounce each similarly awful.  “Welcome to Pwwwwwayto Rico!”  This was a homecoming for Francisco Lindor (1-for-5, 2 RBIs) and he promptly hit his 2nd homer, a moonshot that went about 275 feet (but, hey, it counts).  Also, taking advantage of the short fences was Michael Brantley (3-for-5, 2 RBIs, 1st homer), Jose Ramirez (3-for-5, 4th homer) and Yonder Alonso (1-for-4, 3rd homer).  The video of Lindor going around the bases is all that dem feels that baseball does right.  How does baseball not have a team in Puerto Rico?  Talk about something that is so obvious you have to be as ignorantly run as MLB to not see it as plain as day.  Move the fences back 25 feet in Hiram Bithorn Stadium, switch out the fungo bats for mofongo and let that star shine!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Teoscar Hernandez (10-15% FAAB Budget) is a player that screams fantasy upside. Teoscar Hernandez is a coveted combination of power and speed that does not come along on the waiver wire often. Past seasons of 20-30 steals in the minors with a double-digit home run ceiling are tools to look towards when planning to bid some FAAB budget this week. Teoscar is also a Statcast darling who pops up on the top of the 2017 Brls/PA leaderboards surrounded by players like Nelson Cruz, Khris Davis, and teammate Justin Smoak. The approach could still improve, but the potential for gaudy fantasy stats is evident with this call-up. Hernandez could have made the opening day lineup in a desolate Blue Jays outfield. The team opted to give Randal Grichuk a chance to fulfill his trade. However, faith in the former Cardinal is fleeting. Hernandez could be a player that sticks on fantasy rosters all season providing double-digit steals and home runs with the potential to surpass 20 in both categories.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Franchy Cordero went 1-for-4 with his first homer as he was called up and hit leadoff.  Franchy!  Franchy!  Franchy!  Holy almond tart, no Franchy pan for me!  I won’t pan Franchy’s tools, I won’t suffer any fools, I want Franchy, man, pardon my drools.  Franchy is the kind of player you watch and you’re like, “Can I own him in every league on the basis of his sprint speed?”  By the way, Franchy has crazy sprint speed yet wasn’t able to make it out there for the brawl — hand on chin emoji.  Franchy seems like the kind of guy that will be better in fantasy than in real life.  Think about the outfield version of Tim Anderson.  I grabbed him in a few leagues to see what happens.  Remember, Franchy Cordero marries the best of French and Ranch dressing which is, um, I dunno, do I look like a senior citizen or a sorority girl?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I only wish Madison Bumgarner fractured his hand after every single person drafted, because I knew I was never drafting him.  Terrible thing to say?  Perhaps, but I’m not the poor schnook who was still drafting him after I said for the last three months to not draft him.  I even put him in a tier originally in the top 20 starters that said, DO NOT DRAFT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.  Okay, not in that tall of a font, but the sentiment was all over that tier.  I said specifically, “This is just like the above tier, and I will be avoiding it, but rather than the above guys who I actually like, just won’t draft, I do not like the guys in this tier, and would never draft them at their price.  So, while I wouldn’t draft the above guys, I really wouldn’t draft these guys.  Got it?  Cool.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Of course, I can’t claim prescience that I knew he’d be hit by a comebacker, but will I anyway?  Hmm…  Why not?!  Prescience ain’t just a word on my Word of the Day calendar that I got in a Secret Santa!  So, I’ve dropped Bumgarner in the rankings, and adjusted his projections accordingly.  My Fantasy Baseball War Room gets updated on the reg, as well.

Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2018 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?