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Please see our player page for Grayson Rodriguez to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Hope everyone is having a nice Memorial Day weekend, and enjoying some baseball, or as Chef Boyardee calls it, Our National Pastatime. This Monday let’s remember all the other red-white-blue American things one hears backstage at a Larry The Cable Guy concert, including burping and farting and wearing an American flag t-shirt. Eat a D, ISIS! Much like how America was just a Platonic ideal, then went to Washington and had to get its hands dirty with the gory details of governing, we have MacKenzie Gore (7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks (career-high), ERA at 3.57) getting his hands dirty with making good on the promise of being a top prospect. Yesterday, he threw 106 pitches, 75 were strikes, and 23 were swinging. Overall, his command is still a bit wonky — 11.5 K/9, 4.3 BB/9, 3.48 xFIP — but if the Ks are that good, the command won’t hurt him. Those Ks are Murica thru & thru. Not spelling shizz out is Murica too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s nearly freaking Memorial Day, folx! I finally relented on No Mow May today and sheered about 8 million dandelions from my backyard. Do you know the meaning of “deadhead”? Other than being one of the greatest Devin Townsend songs. Oh, and that other band with Jerry Garcia. Oh, and the trucker slang. That’s right — the fourth guess did the trick! It’s when you pop the head off a dandelion. I suppose you could do this maliciously while cackling, but I do it with a lawnmower that dates to the 1980s. Have I succeeded in giving you a feeling that my life is ultra-exciting like Grey’s? 

And now, much like Grey, let’s see if we can save your fantasy baseball team as it heads into the 1/3 mark of the season. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With Dustin May injured and Julio Urias hitting the Ineffective List — Urias should be healthy when he stops giving up four homers per game — the Dodgers needed another arm besides Gavin Stone. I opened with that because when I saw the Dodgers were calling up Bobby Miller they be Gavin me a heart attack that they weren’t calling up Stone. I need Stone. Yes, this is about me. Stone has been confirmed for Monday, but Miller’s up for Tuesday. Here’s what Itch’s said, “Where I prefer Gavin Stone, most who care enough to rank ‘em seem to prefer Miller, a 6’5” 220 lb prototype power pitcher. While the 6’1” 175 lb Stone doesn’t win any off-the-bus intimidation contests, he repeats his delivery with ease, which is necessary to maintaining plus command. Miller has mostly looked like a reliever to the eye test, but he looks different now than he did on draft night. He bounced back and forth a bit between relieving and starting at Louisville and retained remnants of a max-effort, off-balance delivery throughout much of his minor league career. It’s pretty smooth and steady now, so I can’t really quibble with anyone who’d prefer the fastball-slider dynamite Miller brings to the mound, and I’d like to stick a piece of dynamite up Grey’s butt.” What on earth? As Itch says, Stone and Miller is likely a toss-up, but this isn’t like mortar and pestle, and why not both? Choose one and go with him. Will Bobby Miller be better than Bryce or Mason Miller? He could. Oh, and so many West Coast Millers. Angels and San Diego, you’re on the clock. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Count’s 2-1, and Jack Flaherty is leaning in…and, would you look at that, that is interesting…Willson Contreras is calling for an 88 MPH fastball down the middle.” I kid! Jack Flaherty (7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 5.24) looked great! After the first inning. Was a bit wonky at the start. At one point, he went from a 75 MPH curve to a 95 MPH elevated fastball to a 84.5 MPH slider to a 79.5 MPH knuckle curve on four straight batters, all resulting in strikeouts. All he needed for motivation was to prove his own catcher sucked. “But how,” Jack Flaherty wondered in his most sincere of voices, “Could a pitcher look good while making his catcher look bad?” Flaherty still desperately needs command from pitch 1 to 100 while going 95 on the fastball, but last night was a step in the right direction. Speaking of directions, the Cards all sucked together, and now they’re all fantastic together. The Cards’ way, I suppose. Nolan Arenado (2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 7th homer, and 4th homer in four games) is going off, and I had a reason to Sell Low written down that was so eloquent. It’s right over by this open window–NOOOO!!! Torenado! Also, in this game, Andrew Knizner (1-for-1, 2 runs, 4 RBIs) hit his 3rd homer, and 2nd in as many games. This homer was vs. a position player, but there ain’t no asterisks in my fantasy league. Next, Tommy Edman (4-for-5, 4 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 6th homer, as he heard the footsteps of people going to waivers to drop him. Finally, Nolan Gorman (3-for-5, 2 runs, 5 RBIs) hit his 10th homer, as the house of Cards begins to rise again. Hopefully, Oli Marmol isn’t inspired to give one of his motivational speeches again like, “Tyler O’Neill and Willson Contreras, you guys suck and can’t field your positions or run and I hate all of you.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jordan steps behind the three point line, head fakes Ehlo, who sails past him, tumbling to the half-court line. Jordan looks at the fallen Ehlo, “Was it that good of a head fake?” He sets himself, and goes up, up, up, — that’s three ups — and the ball is soaring, soaring, soaring — that’s three soarings — and SWISH! SWISH SWISH! That’s three swishes! Right into the…bleachers? Jordan Diaz shrugs at Ehlo. It’s a Shruggle! He gave him the Shruggle! The patented “Who knew I was this good?” and rounds the bases. Jordan Diaz has done the impossible! He’s made Grey talk about basketball — kinda! Yesterday, Diaz went (3-for-4, 4 RBIs) with three homers, his 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Jordan’s homer comes a day after MJ’s homer. Pippen ain’t easy, obviously. I’ve said previously Jordan Diaz is like a poor man’s Luis Arraez. Call him Luis I-Need-A-Raise. That might be selling his power short, and his batting average high. At least for this year. He could sneak into a 15-17 homer season, but being in Oakland won’t help. His strikeouts are up, so the potential .280 average feels like a long shot. He could also just be finding himself like Jason Bourne or that guy on The Citadel, a blatant rip-off of Jason Bourne. At worst, a hot schmotato. At best, Jordan gives us more Flu Games. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As you might’ve heard, Matt Mervis was called up, but, more incredibly, Eric Hosmer grounded into a double play while he was sitting on a bench. Those boos aren’t from fans for Eric Hosmer; they are boos from Eric Hosmer because he’s a ghost of his former self. This is funny in a “how stupid am I” way: So, I saw Christian Encarnacion-Strand posted himself on Instagram in a Reds uniform, then deleted it, so that means he’s coming, right? Of course! So, I dropped Matt Mervis for CES. Hey, if you can’t laugh at me, at least cry with me. Welp, I just gave you my Matt Mervis fantasy last week. Not much to add. I mean, there’s a lot to add, like Matt Mervis for one! Hopefully this waiver claim goes through dropping CES. I’m so stupid! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As many of you know, I was in Mexico City this weekend. The funny thing (is this funny?), I was in Mexico City for a cousin’s wedding. Not until maybe three days before did I realize it was the same weekend as the Padres and Giants playing in Coors South, which I guess is Corona. Around the city, they had these player statues, and, boy, were they awful:

I look more like Manny Machado than that statue! Any hoo! I’m being told this is not Travel & Leisure dot com. Too bad, I had some great tips for Gavin Stone about how to get to Los Angeles. El eff gee! That’s right, the Dodgers are calling him up to start on Wednesday. I have Stone stashed since March in multiple leagues; I just gave you a Gavin Stone fantasy two weeks ago. I am absolutely all-in. As Bob Dylan would say, everybody must get Stone. Seriously, don’t leave any Gavin Stone unturned. All those Dodgers’ babies from last week are going to have Gavin as their birth Stone. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You thought every team having a Luis Garcia was confusing? You rued the day you ever learned there was a Trevor Megill and a Tylor Megill? You thought they were joking when they said there was another Max Muncy? You’re in a Holds league and get the shakes every time you see T. Rogers? You still have a headache from the time you drafted Ryan Braun, the reliever? Well, do I have a surprise for you! For a limited time only, we have two Logan Allens! It could be worse, they were both on the Guardians! Now, there’s one on the Rockies and one on the Guardians. That makes things easier because you’d never want a pitcher on the Rockies, so you only have to look at the team name and remember, “No Rockies pitchers ever.” So, why do we care? Well, outside of AL-Only leagues, we may not. Logan Allen (6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks) has a starting job right now, but Triston McKenzie and Aaron Civale could return at some point (in theory), and Hunter Gaddis is stretched out and might get another look. Since the “why do we care” became “why should we not care,” here’s an answer to the caring part: He consistently has a 11+ K/9 in the minors. Itch’s said, “A great athlete with plus balance and command who repeats his delivery with ease, Allen fits the Cleveland mold for pitchers who exceed their on-paper projections. He’s not an ideal candidate to add velocity at 6’0” 190 lbs, but Cleveland tends to find a way, not that Allen has needed more than his low-90’s fastball, plus changeup and average curveball to this point, and I’d like to stick Grey with a sharp point.” C’mon, man! Itch’s “Cleveland tends to find a way” is why I’m interested in deeper mixed leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Friends and family and enemies who read this for the schadenfreude — we’re 10% into the 2023 MLB season! The Twins and the Rays are the best teams in baseball, and Kyle Freeland is your Cy Young frontrunner. Let’s Freeland GO! 

For longtime Razzball readers, you know the motto is still: Don’t Panic. Three games started. 10% of the season. How many of y’all quit one episode into a Netflix series? Maybe that’s why the icon for Squid Game is that robot girl. Or maybe Netflix thinks the prime demographic for the show are fans of cybernetic giantess fantasies. It’s probably both, to be fair. I, for one, would love to see The Terminator throw 120 MPH with his right arm while simultaneously blasting T-1000s with a gun in his left hand. But until we see Ahnold blasting his way to the mound, we’ve got our human pitchers and they’ve got their flaws. 10% of the season is still a drop of non-GMO motor oil in the sea.

Please, blog, may I have some more?