Ye Savage Shoulder

Trey Yesavage will open season on the IL with a shoulder impingement. That’s the worst kind of after-dinner mint! Listing from best to worst: 1. Thin Mints 2. Those white candy mints that have the jelly in the middle that they had in a wheelie thing at diners. 3. There’s no 3. 4. Melted puddle of mint chocolate chip ice cream. 5. Shoulder impingement. That’s the whole list. These are the toughest injuries to gauge because this is what is likely happening: Team wants guy to only throw a certain number of innings, would prefer if those innings were from May/June until October, so they make up a fake injury and the pitcher ends up throwing basically the same number of innings he always was going to, just starting in May/June vs. April. Or it’s really a serious injury and we’re screwed. I don’t know how to tell the two apart. I’m being real with you when I say judging fake injuries is harder than judging real ones and judging fake ones from real ones is even harder. Is this real? What is real? What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more. If you’ve drafted him already, you hold and pray. If you haven’t, I can’t in good faith say draft him now. I’ve lowered him into the top 60 starters into a tier I wouldn’t draft, and lowered him in the top 500 and updated the pitchers’ pairing tool for your weekend drafts. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2026 fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! The first week’s Buy/Sell is already available for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the roundup:

Jose Berrios – Dealing with a stress fracture of his elbow, which kept him off Puerto Rico’s WBC team. Curiously, a Joe Framboise played for French, and got le rocked.

Carson Williams – Since Taylor Walls is injured (oblique), the Rays are planning on breaking camp with Carson Williams as their shortstop. [sucking in helium, talking like Daffy Duck] Holy schnikes! [sees he might hit .180 with a 40% strikeout rate, balloon filled with helium quickly deflates] Hmm, so I don’t mind the flyer, but here’s what Itch said, “Featuring double-plus defense and easy power from the right side, Williams figures to open the season as the everyday shortstop for Tampa. I’ve always been low on him compared to the places he’s been ranked in most public facing places because he’s always struck out enough that I feel compelled to pump the brakes. In 32 MLB games, he slashed .179/.219/.354 after slashing .213/.318/.447 in 111 Triple-A games. Wait, should he even be atop this team’s list? Yeah, I think the proximity and power-speed upside warrants the spot. Plus there’s really nobody here to knock him off the top. I just don’t really want him on my teams. Don’t hate him as much as I hate Grey though.” What? Carson was added to the shortstops rankings, but the Rays could see him hit .150 in April, then Taylor Walls returns and takes his job back. Or Carson could figure out some of his contact issues and run with the job. A flyer worth the risk, but expect very little. (Story of my life.)

Chase Burns – Reds are going with a six-man rotation but not a six-man rotation. I’ll explain. Chase Burns, Rhett Lowder and Brandon Williamson all made the rotation for the fourth and fifth man spots, so they will rotate three guys for two spots, because none of them can throw that many innings. Reds have one of the sexiest cores of players and they refuse to let the drip shine through, as the kids say. Show yo’ drip! Don’t be embarrassed! This is so predictably frustrating. This is like the Christian Encarnacion-Strands of the Hunter Greenes. This is the Matt McLains of the Jonathan Indias. Reds get hopes up then Kiboshi! So, I moved Chase Burns into the top 80 starters, and updated the pitchers’ pairing tool. Would still draft him, but obviously this changes things. The reality of the situation is Burns wasn’t throwing a full season anyway, so missing starts in April and/or September, it’s the same difference. On our auction draft values sheet, Chase Burns is around 220 overall, and same for me on the top 500. Brandon Williamson and Rhett Lowder are NL-Only and deep league flyers for now.

Noelvi Marte – Seems currently pegged (excuse me) as the 8-hole hitter and Matt McLain as number two, but we’ve been down this road before. There’s plenty of time for Marte to move up and McLain to screw up any goodwill his good spring affords him. I’m fine drafting McLain, but I’m still more than fine with Noelvi. Holding firm! [fingers so tightly gripped that they’re trembling] Getting arthritis for Noelvi!

Logan Henderson – Dealing with elbow soreness and wasn’t a lock to make the rotation anyway, so, dot dot dot, I had to react. Moved him down in the top 100 starters, and adjusted the top 80 starters by adding in Brandon Sproat, who I always liked, but wasn’t sure of his rotation spot. Now that he could get 140+ IP in the majors he’s absolutely worth a flyer at the backend of a 12-teamer. Kyle Harrison has also been added to the top 100 starters. Brewers are one of the best teams for pitching, and you should be seeking out whoever they like.

Quinn Priester – Went to see a specialist about his wrist issue, and was told it’s in the T.O.S. family. Those are a pitchers’ worst terms of service. Removed him from my rankings, and pitchers pairing tool.

Joe Musgrove – Delayed start to the season and I can no longer cover my eyes to ignore. I can no longer ostrich my head in the sand.  I can no longer tucker my turtlehead. Damn, should’ve stopped at two. Rule of three defeated! Moved Musgrove into the top 100 starters, and out of the pitchers pairing tool.

Kyle Teel – Out 4-6 weeks with a hamstring injury. Yeouch. Teel ya later! Originally didn’t move him but I had to lower him in the catchers rankings. That’s a bad hammy, which also a line from the Old Testament. When a hammy injury is that long, it could linger and throws doubt into his handful of steals. Of course, you can still draft, but later.

Roki Sasaki – Dodgers said Roki will be in the rotation no matter how much he sucks. Well, not in those exact words. Honestly, I wonder if the ball or mound difference from Japan to here is bothering him. Either way, he doesn’t look remotely like the guy they thought they were getting.

River Ryan – Sent to the minors. Don’t worry, he’ll be back in two weeks when Roki can’t get out of the third inning of his second start. I am Oracle!

Grayson Rodriguez – Dealing with a dead arm. Angels are running a tight two-team race with the Rockies for “unable to fix whatever is broken.” Call them the Bad Mechanics. I moved Grayson into the top 100 starters and removed from the pitchers pairing tool.

Lars Nootbaar – Will start the year on the IL, due to heel surgery. Did he have an extra five inches added onto his heel? Not asking for me, just asking. Because they talk about stretching legs to make people taller but no one talks about just gluing five inches onto a guy’s heel. Not that I want it! I’m just speculating it might be something someone is interested in. Nelson Velazquez seems to be in the lead to start in left for the Cards until Lars neaars return. I didn’t adjust the top 100 outfielders, Lars was never a full season player.

Richard Fitts – Sent to Triple-A Memphis. Hey, wherever the Dick Fitts.

Seiya Suzuki – Strained PCL. What a terrible Roman year. ACL rocks, PCL sucks. Seiya’s hoping to avoid the IL. So, no Seiya later just yet, pithy sayer! A PCL sore but not ruptured is usually a two-to-three week injury. Assuming there’s a small IL stint at some point. Top 40 outfielders and the top 500 were updated, I docked him two weeks for now. Seems to have avoided a major injury.

Janson Junk – Seems to have the lead on Braxton Garrett for the 5th starter job in Miami, if you were wondering if the Marlins were trying to be good. This doesn’t really matter at end of the day, because Junk and Garrett will each get their innings, whether it’s in April or September.

Robby Snelling – Reassigned to minor league camp. Can you Snelling what Robby’s cooking? Maybe sometime in June you can.

J.P. Crawford – Regarding his injured shoulder, he visited with Dr. Keith Meister, SNL’s copy guy’s favorite doctor, and Crawford’s had more “clean” MRIs that are showing “nothing” than one can count. Starting to feel like Crawford is going to have a lost season.

Robert Stephenson – Potential UCL damage. Author of Treasure Island, amongst other classics is ho ho ho and done. Moved Kirby Yates into the lead for the Angels’ closer job, and I have zero confidence in that. Top 500 updated.

Sung-Mun Song – Dealing with an oblique strain. First, Kate Hudson is robbed of an Oscar, now this. Put Neil Diamond in bubble wrap, please. Song wasn’t moved in the 3rd basemen rankings because he’s deep enough already.