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Hello, all you brave, courageous, adventure-seekers, you’ve found the wrong website. This is fantasy baseball, not fantasy role playing, unless it’s fantasy roll-playing and this is Stratomatic, but that’s still not right. Still, fantasy baseball. Good, now that we got rid of all those people wearing fedoras and shopping from the Indiana Jones collection at Eddie Bauer, we can get down to the bidness. The Auction value bidness? Not quite, but you can find all auction values in Rudy’s rankings — one example, 12-team mixed league auction values. This is a top 100 for 2023 fantasy baseball. Let’s do this!

One word about this top 100 for 2023 fantasy baseball, before I give you another 5,000 words. I’m going to avoid repeating myself from the position rankings in the 2023 fantasy baseball rankings. If you want to know my in-depth feelings about a player, then you need to go to his positional page, i.e., the top 20 1st basemen for 2023 fantasy baseball, the top 20 outfielders for 2023 fantasy baseball, the top 20 Patterns In Queso That Look Like Messages From Another Planet for 2023– Okay, but I almost got you. This post is meant to give you an idea where guys from different positions are in relation to each other. Since this post is only the top 100, there’s more players where this came from. 448 more, to be very exact. Next up, there will be a top 500 that will go past 500, then, after that, there will be a top 7,500 that will go to 8,602, then a top 25,000 that will go to 28,765, then a top 600,000 that will go to 892,121, until we end up with a top kajillion in April that will go to a kajillion and one. Or maybe I’ll stop at the top 500. Yeah, that makes sense. Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel. Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2023 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.” Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters. Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter!

Razzball Subscriptions are also now open, which include the Fantasy Baseball War Room. I don’t draft without it, neither should you. Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2023 fantasy baseball:

1. Trea Turner – Is this the first year that the number one guy overall in fantasy baseball was an offseason signing? Bernie Williams? No, you’re thinking of offseason singing. Same with Bronson Arroyo. Also, Barry Zito. Baseball players who have tried their hand at music is super problematic for ears everywhere, huh? Then consider Joel Zumaya who had his career derailed by playing Guitar Hero, and can I ask that all baseball players please just watch your friends karaoke. Any hoo! Already gave you my Trea Turner fantasy. It was written while mulling apple cider. 2023 Projections: 107/22/101/.293/30 in 606 ABs

2. Jose Ramirez – Even though I mentioned this in the opening, most of you skip that, so one quick word about the top 100 for 2023 fantasy baseball after about 2,000 words, but with 73,000 words to go, I’ve gone over all these guys in the 2023 fantasy baseball rankings. This is just to give you overall thoughts like, “Here’s where I’d start looking at drafting a pitcher.” Or, “This is where I ignore the draft and catch up on the latest Yellowstone from my mom, who tells me about Yellowstone, even though I don’t watch Yellowstone.” 2023 Projections: 88/33/109/.269/22 in 549 ABs

3. Shohei Ohtani – This likely needs to be shouted three times a day for the entire preseason, but this is Ohtani’s ranking for daily leagues where you have him as a hitter and pitcher. In weekly leagues, where he’s just a hitter, or where he should be just a hitter, because you shouldn’t play him as a pitcher even when he has a two-start week, he gets a ten-pick shave. So, around 13th overall for just hitting. Him or Machado? That’s what I’d be contemplating in weekly leagues. As just a pitcher, he’s way down in the Bieber range of pitchers, and I wouldn’t draft him as only a pitcher as I say in the top 20 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball. 2023 Projections: 12-6/2.67/1.04/194 in 154 IP, 101/37/106/.264/13 in 544 ABs

4. Julio Rodriguez – If you’re thinking like me, and, well you should because I have an IQ of 201–*intern whispers in ear*–I’m holding my IQ score opposite down? Are you sure? Well, never the hoo! If you think like me, you might be wondering who the Jul-Rod or Bobby Witt Juniors are of this year, and. Dot dot dot. There aren’t any. There aren’t huge rookie breakouts every year. I like Corbin Carroll and Gunnar Henderson, but holding breath either is/either are (“either are” said out loud makes one sound very dumb) this year’s Witt or Jul-Rod, and you might turn blue. Not saying they can’t be, but don’t put those expectations on them. 2023 Projections: 104/32/81/.281/33 in 577 ABs

5. Aaron Judge – Already gave you an Aaron Judge fantasy. It was written while going Gaga, which means dressing up like Lady Gaga from House of Gucci and doing a terrible Italian accent. For reals, my biggest pet peeve is when actors use an accent but still speak English. If the character is Italian, Russian, whatever, they’re not going to speak English with an accent. They’d speak their language! It’s cool this post will be 75,000 words and I have time for side bars in every blurb. 2023 Projections: 109/41/102/.283/10 in 548 ABs

6. Yordan Alvarez – Kinda floored at how low Captain Woo Cubano has been going in early drafts. He’s Aaron Judge with fewer steals, but a much higher floor for batting average. They have the same amount of power. Sure, Judge hit more bazinga! bazinga! bazinga! last year. He bazinga’d more than anyone ever in the AL, but that doesn’t mean that will happen this year. If all players were the same year after year, then you wouldn’t be clamoring for my fantasy baseball brain nougat candy. Also, and this goes kinda for the entire top 25-ish. You’re not getting any of these guys if you have the wrong draft pick. You can love Yordan and want him, but if you have a top five pick, Woo’s off the board by the time your 2nd pick comes around. If you get the 6th pick, you’re not getting Tucker, Acuña, etc. in the 2nd round. Well, assuming you follow my rankings and aren’t reading this for s’s and g’s. 2023 Projections: 93/43/112/.304/1 in 531 ABs

7. Kyle Tucker – As pointed out in the top 10 for 2023 fantasy baseball, Mr. H2H is in a new tier, but how happy would you be to get Mr. H2H in a H2H league? This guy is the format! 2023 Projections: 91/31/105/.272/20 in 553 ABs

8. Ronald Acuña Jr. – ‘Til daddy tells you it’s time to draft Tildaddy! Which is now. Though, if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I’ll have Tildaddy on a team this year. I could, but it would mean someone taking Yordan before me (unlikely), and not taking Tildaddy ’til eight (also unlikely). Seeing him go third overall, and the projections kinda back that up, but, like me at a hair stylist reading their menu, there’s way more locks that I’m interested in. 2023 Projections: 96/26/68/.277/30 in 509 ABs

9. Bo Bichette – “Boba gives me life” isn’t just my t-shirt I sell at the front table at my Church of Tapioca, it’s also how I feel about Boba Chette. He was 17th overall on the Player Rater last year, and is easily in the top five for best players if you combine the last two years. 2023 Projections:  107/25/86/.287/17 in 603 ABs

10. Mookie Betts – Mookie Best (minus nine players) is his name, but the (minus nine players) is silent. Only said in certain contexts. Another guy I just don’t see rostering, even though I absolutely would. It’s just the way certain guys fall. If a guy like Best is behind Boba, then how do I have a team where Best is drafted? Just bein’ real wit’ you, while shortening some words to seem hip. Crap, did someone say “hip” in regards to Mookie? Uh oh. 2023 Projections: 112/29/84/.268/16 in 582 ABs

11. Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – Cake Batter reminds me of Judge this year. Everyone knows he’s not going to repeat, just as we knew Cake Batter wasn’t going to repeat last preseason, coming off the 2021 year, but we still ranked Cake very high, knowing even if he’s bad, he won’t be that bad, and same with Judge. My prediction that means nothing: Judge will be ranked around 12th next year, after having a solid, but way less spectacular year. 2023 Projections: 96/33/107/.283/8 in 589 ABs

12. Juan Soto – Treat Urner, Boba, Cake Batter, Sexy Dr. Pepper…I need to stop making nicknames on an empty stomach. 2023 Projections: 91/34/102/.287/7 in 518 ABs

13. Manny Machado – I’ve talked about this before, and it’s prolly my life’s work that I really need to expand upon in a 225-page book that is 200 pages of filler. There’s swings of fantasy value from year to year, but guys really settle into a range and never really leave that range. There’s basically a floor for players and they should always be ranked around there. Yes, guys get better and worse. Guys like Miguel Cabrera aren’t always a top five overall pick, obviously. But when a player is in their peak, they should always be ranked in a certain area. Machado’s had more ups and downs than most guys, but he’s always a 15 thru 25 overall pick, depending on what kind of year he’s coming off. Some years he’s coming off a bad year, and he’s picked around 40. Some years he’s coming off a great year, and he’s boosted to a top 15 pick. But he has a career ADP for his peak, and that’s my point. Every guy has a career ADP for their peak. 2023 Projections: 94/30/106/.266/8 in 569 ABs

14. Bobby Witt Jr. – Continuing on from the Machado blurb, we’re still trying to figure out what BWJ’s career peak ADP is. My guess is it will be around here. Some years, he’ll end up in the top 7 overall, after a year where he’s lucky on BABIP, and has a great average to go with his power and speed, and some years he will be a bargain around 35 overall, when he’s coming off a year when he hits, like, .225. 2023 Projections: 91/24/77/.257/24 in 586 ABs

15. Freddie Freeman – Okay, this will be the last thing I say on the subject from the above two blurbs (until that novella!), but Freeman’s the poster boy for a career peak ADP. It’s been around here for a handful of years, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we see his ADP drop next year as he enters a new stage of his career, and gets drafted like Au Shizz or even later next year. 2023 Projections: 106/25/91/.309/10 in 591 ABs

16. Pete Alonso – No one knows what kind of ball we’re getting this year. Truly is something that baseball changes the ball every year. Can I pat Rob Manfred on the back? What’s that, why am I holding a Ginzu knife in my hand when I say I want to pat him? Haha, oh, I don’t know. No reason. But if we get the dead ball, Alonso will once again be super valuable because he’s about as close of lock to 40 homers as you’re gonna find. 2023 Projections: 92/40/111/.263/3 in 581 ABs

17. Austin Riley – Feeling a bit higher on Riley than others, so here’s where I give you a rhetorical? Is he much different than Albombso? Maybe a few less homers, but a little bit better on average, so, yeah, answer that rhetorical, if you’re allowed to, or if it’s like, “Ooh, we don’t answer rhetoricals where I come from.” 2023 Projections: 96/37/104/.276/2 in 589 ABs

18. Rafael Devers – No one likes anecdotal nonsense as much as yours truly, so I won’t say Devers was about to have his career year, going for that huge contract, but now that he signed an 11-year deal, he’s going to have a siesta that will last 37,000 days like a Spanish Rip Van Winkle. Call him Rip Van Winko. What? I said I won’t say it! 2023 Projections: 94/34/108/.286/5 in 572 ABs

19. Corbin Burnes – As I go over in painstaking detail in the top 20 for 2023 fantasy baseball. I’m not drafting Burnes, but ranking him. 2023 Projections: 14-5/2.56/0.95/256 in 206 IP

20. Fernando Tatis Jr. – If he returns and sucks, Fun The Jewels will be considered a product of PEDs and no one will believe anything he did previously. What’s even wilder, his dad seemed like a star at 24, coming off a huge season of 34 HRs, 21 steals and .298, then was replaced by some youngster named Pujols and disappeared, until emerging years later at the Guggenheim for his MS Paint drawings. Could the same fate await (poet and aware of it!) his son? I doubt it, tee be aitch, but if this year is bad from Fun, then oh boy. 2023 Projections: 88/34/81/.286/19 in 461 ABs

21. Marcus Semien – Fernando Tatis Jr. is nicknamed Fun The Jewels, and in some ways Semien could be nicknamed Fun With The Family Jewels. As for anyone who’s like, “Whoa, daddy, you’re higher on Semien than a porn star mainlining bed sheets,” but look at my projections for Semien. Where would you put 31/22? Not much lower than this. 2023 Projections: 104/31/79/.246/22 in 637 ABs

22. Gerrit Cole – Still not drafting starters, can point you to top 20 starters for more on that. 2023 Projections: 15-4/2.88/0.99/261 in 202 IP

23. Paul Goldschmidt – Admittedly, feel a little too high on Au Shizz, but the moment you doubt him, he puts up a top 10 overall season. So, please doubt him (if I end up with him on teams). 2023 Projections: 94/29/105/.291/7 in 554 ABs

24. Mike Trout – One small note about why you should throw out all fantasy baseball rankings. Okay, that’s exaggeration, but the most important part of the rankings is what is said about a player in the 2023 fantasy baseball positional rankings or the top 20 outfielders in Mike Trout’s case. But, really, whether a guy is ranked 24 or, say, 40, doesn’t really matter. The deeper we get the more the rankings don’t matter. If you drafted Yordan, I love your team, take a snooze. You don’t need anything else, but if you did draft Yordan, you definitely shouldn’t draft Trout. They’re the same thing. Draft some steals, and maybe another position. That’s what I mean. Trout’s fine on some teams, and not on other teams. Rankings mean less than team makeup is prolly my number two contribution to fantasy after career peak ADP. You thought you were getting a top 100, but instead it’s my entry for this year’s Pulitzer. 2023 Projections: 86/36/81/.279/1 in 423 ABs

25. Michael Harris II – Go over Megahertz in the video at the top of the page; it’s not great. 2023 Projections: 93/20/77/.271/25 in 564 ABs

26. Cedric Mullins – Have the Orioles traded Mullins for a controllable pitcher who will end up being awful yet? Don’t worry, Cedric the HRtainer won’t be awful on the Reds after the O’s get Homer Bailey Jr.  2023 Projections: 96/20/62/.256/35 in 597 ABs

27. Randy Arozarena – Really making a strong effort this year to put aside my warped thoughts on players and just trust my projections. I see 20/30/.260 for The Rice Bowl, and suppressing my bad thoughts about his exit velocity and how he might be really a .225 hitter.  2023 Projections: 83/20/89/.260/30 in 579 ABs

28. Francisco Lindor – For what it’s Cronenworth, Rudy’s projections hate Lindor. After the third time of me saying, “Hey, Rudy, why don’t you and Joey Meneses get married if you like him that much?” Rudy stopped talking to me, so I have no idea why his projections hate Lindor. 2023 Projections: 101/27/104/.261/17 in 592 ABs

29. Dansby Swanson – Speaking of Rudy’s projections hating guys — I was, just above — Swanson is even more buried than Lindor. At least Rudy’s love for Seiya Suzuki will never die. (I say Rudy this, Rudy that, but, for those just joining us, those rankings are based off Steamer’s projections. Steamer loves Joey Meneses, and hates Swanson, and I honestly have no idea why. I will ask, at some point.) 2023 Projections: 78/27/84/.262/14 in 591 ABs

30. Brandon Woodruff – Still not drafting a starter, which is what I say even though as I said in my 2023 NFBC draft recap, I actually drafted Woodruff. You can see why on that post. 2023 Projections: 14-6/2.77/0.98/233 in 194 IP

31. Jose Altuve – Irrelevant for this year (like the rest of this stuff is relevant), but I’m super curious how Altuve does one day in the Hall of Fame voting. He’s absolutely a Hall of Famer, but does he get dinged like that garbage can once did? My guess is yes. UPDATE: He was removed, see the 2nd basemen rankings for where he now ranks. 2023 Projections: 106/27/72/.289/14 in 593 ABs

32. Adolis Garcia – Get the sense people still don’t trust Garcia, but that’s likely for the best, because once everyone trusts him he will disappoint. Sorry, I don’t make the rules–Actually, I did just make that rule. 2023 Projections: 81/30/96/.248/24 in 591 ABs

33. Kyle Schwarber – If you’re wondering, I’m already wearing an old-timey football helmet to hold my head together for when my head explodes seeing Schwarber bat lead-off and Treat Urner 2nd. 2023 Projections: 81/41/97/.223/7 in 557 ABs

34. Matt Olson – Note to self: Email our writers to see if someone wants to write about what a terrible position 1st base is once we get past the top 20-ish. It’s Olson and Au Shizz, then oh shizz.  2023 Projections: 92/37/111/.246/1 in 587 ABs

35. Ozzie Albies – Much like Tatis, this year is going to be very instructive for what we think about Albies. Right now, I’m still drafting Ozzie night and day, but am I Albies sure? Not exactly. By the way, “Albies sure” is an R&B pun, and R&B is not short for roast beef, that’s Ozzie Arby’s. 2023 Projections: 82/27/87/.254/14 in 579 ABs

36. Dylan Cease – I am still not Carpe’ing Dylan or Cease’ing any starters. 2023 Projections: 14-7/2.86/1.13/238 in 191 IP

37. Sandy Alcantara – Funny thing (not funny) about saying I’m not drafting any of these starters. People’s eye go cross and are like, “You’re nuts! Sandy or Cease or McClanahananananananananana or any of these guys are so good!” Yet — again with some stank — YET! if I told you to draft Cease or any of these starters this high last year, you’d think I was even crazier. Recency bias is a hell of a drug in fantasy baseball. (Hence my career peak ADP!) 2023 Projections: 11-6/2.79/1.02/203 in 214 IP

38. Shane McClanahan – Still no on starters, or said in different ways for McClananananananananana, then nahnahnahnahnahnahnah. 2023 Projections: 13-7/2.74/1.01/188 in 168 IP

39. Jazz Chisholm Jr. – *talking to my hand sitting on the mouse when I’m about to draft Chisholm* You’re Jazz hands now. 2023 Projections: 79/26/69/.251/19 in 557 ABs

40. Nolan Arenado – Seems like a weird time to stop and take the temperature of the room, but how is everyone? I’m trying to be better about asking. All thanks to this book, Be The Best You. Here it is over by this open window–NOOOOOO!!! Torenado! 2023 Projections: 77/30/101/.268/3 in 576 ABs

41. Edwin Diaz – SAGNOF! or How I Drafted Closers After The Top 100 While Everyone Was Grabbing Top Closers. 2023 Projections: 5-1/2.09/0.90/109, 37 saves in 61 IP

41. Emmanuel Clase – Also, SAGNOF, and A Sequel To The Book Discussed In The Above Blurb. 2023 Projections: 6-2/2.19/0.88/75, 37 saves in 70 IP

42. Luis Robert – Okay, a word about this section of the draft. You might be wondering how on earth I’m drafting while not drafting anyone. It’s a fair question. I might draft Luis Robert, but chances are low. Here’s one scenario: I have a pick towards the end of the snake. I don’t have an outfielder and I know I’m going to get another pick quickly again, so I grab Robert and take a starter next. The problem with drafting hitter, hitter, hitter with my first three picks (in a 12 teamer, at least) is it’s hard to draft a hitter again with my 4th pick. So the hitters in this area usually go undrafted by me. Not always as mentioned in the “one scenario” but it’s less likely. 2023 Projections: 71/16/68/.279/15 in 454 ABs

43. Spencer Strider – *stringing together a conspiracy board* Strider has the best mustache, and I’m wearing a shirt that reads, “Mustache rides are free,” and you can’t spell Strider without “ride.” *becoming Reggie Jackson in Naked Gun and activating like a robot* “I have to draft a starter now.” Said again without pop culture references, as I lay out in the top 20 starters, you can draft a starter now. 2023 Projections: 12-7/2.83/1.03/231 in 164 IP

44. Justin Verlander – Yes, my starters this year are going to be on the cover of AARP. *shrugs* Whatevs. 2023 Projections: 17-5/2.54/0.94/196 in 179 IP

45. Oneil Cruz – Okay, about that whole “drafting a starter right now and I can’t take a hitter,” well, the Cruz Missile’s gonna get me in trouble, ain’t he? Could see staring at my team, knowing I need a pitcher, and seeing Oneil Cruz staring at me, winking at me, nudging me, touching me through the draft software screen and me saying, “I love you.” Okay, here’s another way I might be able to draft a hitter here. Draft a starter, and one of these guys falls. Bingo, say it with me now, bango! 2023 Projections: 79/30/77/.246/18 in 541 ABs

46. Corbin Carroll – Already gave you my Corbin Carroll fantasy. It was written while recounting boring stories of Glory Days. 2023 Projections: 81/21/71/.271/27 in 527 ABs

47. Teoscar Hernandez -When he was traded, already gave you my Teoscar Hernandez fantasy. It was written while curbing my desire. Can you tell I’m listening to a Bruce Springsteen covers album right now? Fleishman Is In Trouble was great, and, in it, they had a Nicole Atkins cover of Dancing in the Dark and now I’m a true old white guy listening to the Boss because of a drama series about divorce. 2023 Projections: 76/29/83/.264/7 in 517 ABs

48. Max Scherzer – Remind me in June, when I’m bitching about drafting old starters who are on the IL, I chose this path for myself. 2023 Projections: 15-6/2.63/0.96/191 in 164 IP

49. Aaron Nola – I want Nola in every league, but not sure how exactly I’m drafting him ranked after Verlander and Scherzer. Someone explain me to me! 2023 Projections: 16-5/2.76/0.98/227 in 201 IP

50. Alex Bregman – 3rd base is shallow. Bregman is a steady producer. He was the 59th best player on the Player Rater last year. And that’s me explaining me! 2023 Projections: 97/24/90/.266/2 in 559 ABs

51. Gunnar Henderson – Already gave you my Gunnar Henderson fantasy. It was written while singing, “This gun’s for hire.” Yeah, I’m still listening to the stupid Springsteen cover. 2023 Projections: 68/25/81/.269/12 in 537 ABs

52. Starling Marte – Just glanced down at the word count and cackled. Okay, still drafting starters in this area, and moving along. 2023 Projections: 91/15/64/.273/20 in 531 ABs

53. Alek Manoah – So, this is my traditional area for drafting my 1st starter. Luckily, it’s not just lip service. Manoah put up a Cy Young-type year and is still being drafted around 65th overall. And, no, I didn’t just use the phrase lip service thinking of his mom, Mommah. 2023 Projections: 15-5/2.97/1.00/197 in 196 IP

54. Luis Castillo – Here’s the thing about waiting on starters too. Since there’s so many starters to draft still, you only need to “hit” on like three of them, and they’ll help you buoy your staff. No, I didn’t say “hit on” still thinking of Mommah. Will you stop? 2023 Projections: 14-7/2.94/1.10/203 in 186 IP

55. Carlos Rodon – Already gave you my Carlos Rodon fantasy. It was written while running around yelling, “Whee!” 2023 Projections: 16-4/3.03/1.05/224 in 169 IP

56. Kevin Gausman – As I’ve said above (I think; you get 5900 words into a post, you start to forget), I won’t be going over specific things that I said in the 2023 fantasy baseball rankings already. With that said (Grey’s doing a 180), Gausman’s innate ability to get hitters to swing outside of the zone is truly remarkable. 2023 Projections: 14-6/2.94/1.09/214 in 188 IP

57. Yu Darvish – This ranking might not seem significant, but this is your last chance for a number one. You can do some foolin’ ’round and punt all starters, but, if you’re being real, this is it. Draft a starter by here. 2023 Projections: 13-7/3.21/1.02/194 in 191 IP

58. Corey Seager – Rangers got me secretly shook. There was a report that the Rangers were using a bouncey ball at home. Their team as a whole kinda hit similarly on the road and at home for power, but — oh, boy, this is scary, brace yourself — Seager hit 11 HRs on the road and 22 HRs at home in seven less at-bats. 2023 Projections: 87/30/91/.268/2 in 587 ABs

59. Salvador Perez – As I go on for many, many words at the top 20 catchers, we’ve reached more players I won’t be drafting. 2023 Projections: 68/31/83/.257/1 in 564 ABs

60. Daulton Varsho – You might be wondering if I have actual marbles in my head by saying here’s a section of players I won’t be drafting. Like, what am I doing? Drafting grandmas in my Mah Jong league? Continued in next blurb. 2023 Projections: 71/22/81/.242/13 in 521 ABs

61. Ryan Pressly – There’s at least ten players I have way higher than other people so…Next Blurb. 2023 Projections: 5-3/2.37/0.93/80, 35 saves in 63 IP

62. Felix Bautista – …simply draft one of those guys. If you say something like, “Well, you have Gunnar Henderson about 30 picks higher than everyone, and I could draft him, but I don’t want him, so I took a closer.” Then, that’s on you. You’re drafting guys I don’t want and ignoring ones I do. 2023 Projections: 6-2/2.29/0.95/90, 30 saves in 67 IP

63. Jacob deGrom – Already gave you my Jacob deGrom fantasy. Wrote that while writing Jeff 52 times next to every Saturday on my calendar to appease my in-laws from Indy. 2023 Projections: 10-2/2.26/0.83/167 in 107 IP

64. J.T. Realmuto – Surprised to see my top 20 catchers rankings so different than consensus. I’m not drafting them, so it doesn’t matter, but everyone seems to think Jerry Tomato has ketchup’d to Sal P., and passed him, due to his big season last year. Recency bias is the opioid of fantasy baseball. 2023 Projections: 66/17/73/.266/15 in 481 ABs

65. Eloy Jimenez – The year is 2049, and Eloy hasn’t had one full season yet. It’s only 30 years into his career, and he’s 53 years old. He hit one home run last year and Statcast clocked his home run trot at “one episode of 60 Minutes” to get around the bases. Somehow, the projections still say he’s a top 70 overall player. 2023 Projections: 65/28/71/.291 in 455 ABs

66. Shane Bieber – If you’re like, “Okay, this is ridiculous now. You said not to draft Bieber, a catcher, a closer…What the hell am I drafting?” Well, if you don’t like anyone that came before, you could grab Max Fried. Or Javier. Or Framber. Two of those three ended higher than this on the Player Rater last year, and Framber just missed, ending the year at 74th overall. 2023 Projections: 12-8/3.31/1.08/193 in 196 IP

67. Julio Urias – One of these years Urias’s good luck is gonna show up at his door, asking for its money, and he’s not going to repay the debt, and he’s gonna have a 4.50 ERA with a 8-20 record to make up for all his favorable luck. 2023 Projections: 15-5/3.35/1.11/182 in 188 IP

68. George Springer – You know what’s kinda funny in an unfunny way? I am willing to give Eloy endless number of chances and, for George Springer, I’m just endlessly waiting for him to suck. 2023 Projections: 78/24/68/.262/11 in 477 ABs

69. Max Fried – Here’s another thing with how I draft. I might wait longer to take my first starter, but I usually draft my 2nd quicker. So, if one person is drafting one $37 pitcher, I might be taking two $20. Spread risk, for sure. Also, just simply take last year:  Would you have wanted just Gerrit Cole or Cristian Javier and Manoah? 2023 Projections: 15-6/2.89/1.03/171 in 183 IP

70. Cristian Javier – Shame that the Astros are hated for the Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang Scandal, and that allows some people to discount what they’re doing, because we are witnessing one of the great dynasties, mostly led by their insane ability to develop pitching. All cheaters, of course. (Kidding.) 2023 Projections: 12-6/3.24/1.04/201 in 161 IP

71. Framber Valdez – Continuing my thought from the Javier blurb. They’re developing this outstanding pitching in a home park that could easily be killing all of them. See, you don’t need to move the left field fence back 2.7 miles to have good pitching. I’m talking to the Orioles. 2023 Projections: 16-5/3.03/1.17/189 in 202 IP

72. Zac Gallen – We’re in the top 40 starters now in the positional rankings, and the number of starters you can draft truly goes on forever. Shortstops are deep, but there’s only like 20 of them. There’s more than 50 starters. I know, I know, you need six starters. Lots of people will draft two maybe three shortstops, when you factor in MI and UT. There’s gonna be 20-plus starters at least on waivers to pick up. There won’t even be three shortstops, who emerge out of nowhere. Last year it was Thairo Estrada, for shortstops who totally came out of nowhere. That’s it. 2023 Projections: 12-8/3.24/1.02/192 in 181 IP

73. Andres Gimenez – Sometimes, I get cold feet, but enough about my poor circulation! Nah, I get cold feet about a ranking. I think, “Andres Gimenez seems a bit high,” then I look at the Player Rater from last year, and see he was higher at the end of last year, and I look at Rudy’s 12-team rankings, and he’s higher there too. 2023 Projections: 71/16/76/.277/23 in 548 ABs

74. Nathaniel Lowe – It’s batshizz crazy the distance between the top 1st baseman tiers. People are well aware that 3rd basemen rankings are a mess. But 1st base is a sneaky mess that no one’s talking about. I’m willing to try Lowe and Abreu and others, but Lowe had the favorable ball last year for his breakout, so who knows? And Abreu? He hit four homers in the 2nd half last year! I’m usually all about grabbing a corner man in this area of the draft but it feels like I’m mostly going to be looking at a middle infielder or 2nd starter.  2023 Projections: 86/26/94/.277/5 in 579 ABs

75. Josh Hader – Still not interested in closers in most leagues. I say “most” instead of “all,” because I do think there might be a closer worth grabbing in the top 100 overall in a draft and hold league. Having no waivers does add a certain level of pressure on your pen. Though, it is hard to not look at the top 15 RPs from last year and see just see so many you could’ve drafted later. Continued in next blurb. 2023 Projections: 3-4/2.94/1.03/97, 31 saves in 58 IP

76. Ryan Helsley – Yup, Helsley was one you could’ve drafted later, and Bard, Holmes, Sewald, Devin Williams, Scott Barlow, Doval, Evan Phillips, and Felix Bautista. Those weren’t a few random names. Those were all found in the top 15 overall for RPs last year. Nine of the top 15 were draftable after the top 100, some way after the top 100, so I still don’t understand the sudden urge to draft closers in the top 100. Lock down your hitting in the top 100 and two starters, and figure out everything later. 2023 Projections: 5-4/2.64/0.92/91, 30 saves in 65 IP

77. Willy Adames – Was a sleeper of mine last year, and he finished in the top 40 overall on the Player Rater, and now? Can likely still be a sleeper. It always perplexes me why some guys break out and no one trusts it. Better that than it suplexes me. 2023 Projections: 79/32/90/.242/7 in 574 ABs

78. Gleyber Torres – Another sleeper from last year, that has made the jump this year, according to me, the Player Rater and Rudy’s projections. Not according to ADP. Again, no idea. My projections say Gleyber has an argument to be even higher ranked, which brings up something I don’t think I’ve mentioned yet. Projections are only one part of the equation. Continued in next blurb. 2023 Projections: 81/25/78/.261/11 in 549 ABs

79. Tommy Edman – Take Bregman’s projections vs. Adames, Gleyber or Edman. These guys would seem better, but Bregman’s floor is much higher, and has much less risk. 2023 Projections: 76/11/54/.260/26 in 569 ABs

80. Hunter Greene – Already gave you my Hunter Greene sleeper. I wrote it while giving you the business. 2023 Projections: 10-7/3.72/1.16/209 in 164 IP

81. Triston McKenzie – Wouldn’t be surprised to see Sticks McKenzie be a spokesman for Bud Light. Oh, not the beer. I’m taking about my friend who is 25 pounds underweight who I nicknamed Bud Light. 2023 Projections: 12-9/3.28/1.02/194 in 191 IP

82. Nestor Cortes – Instead of pulling the ball out of his glove with every pitch, Cortes should pull the ball out of a top hat like a magician with a rabbit. It would be more fitting for his stuff. 2023 Projections: 13-7/3.41/1.05/174 in 171 IP

83. Will Smith – Still not drafting a catcher, but I will say this for the catchers. There are a lot more valuable ones than years past. It’s still way too temperamental of a position to trust. Don’t believe me, ask the stunods who drafted Sal P. with their 2nd round pick last year.  2023 Projections: 71/25/83/.258/1 in 503 ABs

84. Christian Yelich – Member about 7500 words I was talking about collecting my Pulitzer, while not being able to spell Pulitzer without spellcheck, for career peak ADP? Yelich would’ve been the exemption that proves the rule. Also, I have no idea what “exemption that proves the rule” means. Not even joking. If it’s an exemption, it doesn’t prove shizz. It disproves it! 2023 Projections: 104/17/63/.257/16 in 571 ABs

85. Tyler O’Neill – Already gave you my Tyler O’Neill sleeper. I wrote it while putting on blue makeup to go see Avatar. 2023 Projections: 74/31/88/.246/17 in 531 ABs

86. Jose Abreu – Full disclosure alert! When I looked up Abreu’s 2nd half home run total for the Nathaniel Lowe blurb above, I almost scared myself out of drafting Abreu. Gotta remember it’s a new year and he’s on the Astros now with the Crawford Boxes. 2023 Projections: 83/26/109/.273 in 581 ABs

87. George Kirby – Thinking about getting caught up in a furor of drafting guys I love and leaving the top 100 with Aaron Nola, Cristian Javier and George Kirby and being like, “Um, I think I have too much pitching.” 2023 Projections: 12-8/3.32/1.14/166 in 161 IP

89. Luis Severino – Gonna be like, “Um, I think I have too much pitching,” then still be looking to see if I can get Severino onto the team. There’s so much pitching! 2023 Projections: 14-4/3.39/1.04/168 in 148 IP

90. Tim Anderson – This made me chuckle: Anderson’s last four batting averages are .335, .322, .309 and .301, but his career average is .288. That’s how bad his averages were before these last four years. I didn’t say it was a cackle or a guffaw. I said chuckle. 2023 Projections: 81/16/51/.291/17 in 508 ABs

91. Wander Franco – I wanna Wander before Wander goes kablooey and blows up to a 1st rounder, but I regret to inform, I’m near his ADP, so I might get him, but also might not. 2023 Projections: 84/22/77/.291/14 in 580 ABs

92. Xander Bogaerts – As I said in the top 20 shortstops, Bogaerts’s power looks massively flaccid, i.e., his power is a show-er not a grower.  2023 Projections: 87/17/82/.292/7 in 549 ABs

93. Carlos Correa – I’ve given you so many Carlos Correa fantasies. That’s what happens when a guy signs with a different team every few weeks. The latest, and the one that still seems applicable – for now! — is at (team name). He’s gonna be (adjective) there! 2023 Projections: 83/23/71/.283/2 in 558 ABs

94. Christian Walker – Honestly, I merely am placing guys in context for the overall big picture in the top 100. The positional rankings are meticulously raked over. The overall? Well, do you need a 1st baseman or an outfielder or a pitcher? Because it doesn’t matter where a guy is ranked overall if he’s a starter and you need a corner man. With that said, I choked on a Gobstopper seeing how high I have Walker ranked. He was 43rd overall on the Player Rater last year, but, wow, he’s correctly named because I have a lot of faith, apparently. 2023 Projections: 79/33/87/.240/2 in 564 ABs

95. Vinnie Pasquantino – Was wondering which position was going to be the most hurt by me ranking closers and catchers a bit higher this year, and it’s gotta be 1st basemen. Don’t know for a fact, but I think this is the least amount of 1st basemen I’ve ever put in the top 100. 2023 Projections: 71/27/82/.279/1 in 533 ABs

96. Rhys Hoskins – Jamming 1st basemen into the end of the top 100 to try to offset how many were missing earlier. Or Jammin’ if a Marley is reading. UPDATE: Out with a knee injury 2023 Projections: 84/31/77/.245/3 in 584 ABs

97. Byron Buxton – No foolsies, I might finally draft Buxton in one league this year, because his ADP has reached a place where there’s actual value to be found. 2023 Projections: 58/25/63/.233/8 in 331 ABs

98. Joe Ryan – Already gave you my Joe Ryan sleeper. It was written while being footloose and fancy-free.  2023 Projections: 14-7/3.21/1.07/181 in 177 IP

99. Jeremy Pena – His initials just now reminded me of JP Arencibia and I hate that I was able to spell Arencibia without googling it. What have you done to my brain, baseball?! 2023 Projections: 75/24/79/.243/12 in 541 ABs

100. Amed Rosario – And we’ve finally come to the end. Thank you, God! Bow your heads and pray, yadda yadda yadda, Amed. 2023 Projections: 81/12/68/.281/20 in 609 ABs