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Please see our player page for Gleyber Torres to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

At one point in the 6th inning, Michael Kopech (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.24) couldn’t see. He was blinded by a bug. The pitch clock was winding down, so he let it rip, and he said later, “I still don’t know where that pitch was that I threw. It was a strike, so it’s good. Seby [Zavala] came out and actually blew in my eye and got the bug out.” That bug, Flik, was voiced by Canadian heartthrob, Dave Foley. I don’t know how long Dave Foley’s been sitting in Kopech’s eye, but, with the success he’s been having recently, made we shouldn’t be so fast to blow our hot breath into his face, unless it was meant as an ode to Prom season by Seby. That is always worth commemorating. So, I try avoid doing a lede about the same guy but, way back in the first week of the season, I wrote about Michael Kopech because he looked so bad. Well, not exactly. I wrote, “There’s no direct evidence that the more handsome a pitcher, the more he’s going to screw you over — that we know of. We just haven’t studied it yet! Someone take a ruler and measure the distance between the eyes on Michael Kopech. Now measure the inches on his curve break. Do they match? The golden ratio that is his cheekbones, is that equal to his current 13.50 ERA? This is not eugenics, because we’re doing it for fantasy baseball purposes and not fantasy exterminations.” And that’s me quoting me! Well, we’re back here again, because we have to keep an open mind — someone grab me the head opener! — and Michael Kopech now has two great starts in a row. Since that first game of the season, Kopech only really has one other disaster. His velocity is up; his strikeouts are up; his command is better (in his last two starts) and, while not exactly performing at the level of his last two starts without luck — he needs to disallow homers on the reg — he’s looking more inline with the starter who we thought was going to be back when he was a top prospect. Was thought to be a slider-first pitcher, he’s relied on it less, while throwing it harder. It could be the recipe for success he needs. Either that, or someone put a bug back in his eye. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With Dustin May injured and Julio Urias hitting the Ineffective List — Urias should be healthy when he stops giving up four homers per game — the Dodgers needed another arm besides Gavin Stone. I opened with that because when I saw the Dodgers were calling up Bobby Miller they be Gavin me a heart attack that they weren’t calling up Stone. I need Stone. Yes, this is about me. Stone has been confirmed for Monday, but Miller’s up for Tuesday. Here’s what Itch’s said, “Where I prefer Gavin Stone, most who care enough to rank ‘em seem to prefer Miller, a 6’5” 220 lb prototype power pitcher. While the 6’1” 175 lb Stone doesn’t win any off-the-bus intimidation contests, he repeats his delivery with ease, which is necessary to maintaining plus command. Miller has mostly looked like a reliever to the eye test, but he looks different now than he did on draft night. He bounced back and forth a bit between relieving and starting at Louisville and retained remnants of a max-effort, off-balance delivery throughout much of his minor league career. It’s pretty smooth and steady now, so I can’t really quibble with anyone who’d prefer the fastball-slider dynamite Miller brings to the mound, and I’d like to stick a piece of dynamite up Grey’s butt.” What on earth? As Itch says, Stone and Miller is likely a toss-up, but this isn’t like mortar and pestle, and why not both? Choose one and go with him. Will Bobby Miller be better than Bryce or Mason Miller? He could. Oh, and so many West Coast Millers. Angels and San Diego, you’re on the clock. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jordan steps behind the three point line, head fakes Ehlo, who sails past him, tumbling to the half-court line. Jordan looks at the fallen Ehlo, “Was it that good of a head fake?” He sets himself, and goes up, up, up, — that’s three ups — and the ball is soaring, soaring, soaring — that’s three soarings — and SWISH! SWISH SWISH! That’s three swishes! Right into the…bleachers? Jordan Diaz shrugs at Ehlo. It’s a Shruggle! He gave him the Shruggle! The patented “Who knew I was this good?” and rounds the bases. Jordan Diaz has done the impossible! He’s made Grey talk about basketball — kinda! Yesterday, Diaz went (3-for-4, 4 RBIs) with three homers, his 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Jordan’s homer comes a day after MJ’s homer. Pippen ain’t easy, obviously. I’ve said previously Jordan Diaz is like a poor man’s Luis Arraez. Call him Luis I-Need-A-Raise. That might be selling his power short, and his batting average high. At least for this year. He could sneak into a 15-17 homer season, but being in Oakland won’t help. His strikeouts are up, so the potential .280 average feels like a long shot. He could also just be finding himself like Jason Bourne or that guy on The Citadel, a blatant rip-off of Jason Bourne. At worst, a hot schmotato. At best, Jordan gives us more Flu Games. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So far this season in Triple-A, Christopher Morel was going .330/.425/.730 with 11 homers and four steals in 29 games. That he was in the minors for the Cubs until yesterday would be the funniest thing if it wasn’t so sad. Not funnest, though Morel is a fun guy. You might be thinking, it’s not funny, who knows if Morel can hit in the majors. Please scream these letters at yourself in the mirror: A! He was a top 130 overall guy on the Player Rater last year. He was already good. In the majors. B! Christopher Morel aka Captain Mushroom was more valuable last year than Ketel Marte, Oneil Cruz, Ke’Bryan Hayes and Adley Rutschman. That was last year. Are A and B kinda the same? Yes. So what? C! There was barely a B and you want a C? Get out of here!. Not to get all stupid with prorating — “If you were to hear the song, ‘How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?’ and price every dog in every window, it would take you 37 years, 11 months and sixteen days.” Oh, shut up, Mr. Prorater! — But if you were to prorate Morel’s stats from last year, he was a 20/15/.235 hitter. That sounds just okay, due to the average, but, again, look at the guys he was already better than. I held my dog, Ted, up to my computer with the waivers page open to see if he’d lick the screen where Morel’s name was to see if he could hunt truffles. Instead, Ted licked Jose Abreu, so he was kinda truffle hunting because truffles are usually covered in sh*t. Depends on how deep your league is on whether or not you should find mushroom on your team for Morel, but he has solid speed and power, and shouldn’t be total shiitake. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jordan Walker was optioned to the minors. What a joke of an organization. Their corresponding move was to give Taylor Motter a contract. I can’t even be mad. Who are we kidding, I am so mad! He was hitting .274 vs. righties and lefties! League average is .245! Only three teams collectively are hitting above .274. He tied the longest hit streak for someone under the age of 21 in 120 years! What is going on?! Is Oli Marmol dumb? I’m truly concerned he might lock himself in a closet and not be able to get out. Is someone keeping an eye on him? What if he forgets how to get out of his car? Does he have assistance? Can we make sure Oli Marmol remembers how to put on his pants?! Can we?! Can someone do that?! What is going on?! Seriously, I’ve seen some huge BS in my time, but this is up there with the top BS’ings in the history of BS. This takes the BS cake, then craps out more BS! What is happening?! He’s better than than at least half of the current Cards’ lineup!? I wanna hurt someone! *realizes I’m screaming this in a Dunkin’ and cops are looking at me* Um, but, ya know, I will simply drop Jordan Walker from my fantasy teams, instead. Honestly, I don’t feel better after this vent session. Oli Marmol fell asleep to Camp Granada the other night, got the “Hello Motter” part stuck in his head, and now we’re losing Jordan Walker because of an earworm! A freakin’ earworm! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We are merely eight games into the 2023 season and have learned a lot about what we can expect this season.  For starters, that lack of steals we have seen in past seasons is long gone with the rule changes going forward.  This means that players that derive value from speed will have more than ample opportunity to contribute.  We are also reminded that injuries are a reality of our game that will drive any fantasy manager crazy as we see players like Jose Altuve and Michael Harris tumble down the rankings.  Finally, we are rewarded for our eternal hope in the prospecting of our fantasy teams through players like Jordan Walker and Corbin Carroll.  If the first week of the fantasy season has told us anything, it is that we are in for a fun ride and with that a lot of opportunity for the savvy fantasy owner.  Time to break down the top 100 hitters for the rest of the 2023 fantasy baseball season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In 2021, Jesus Luzardo (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 0.71) was traded for two months of Starling Marte. This is great, by the way:

Hmm, is it tough to judge? I don’t know, guys. I think that might be one of the easiest trades ever to judge. Especially in 2022. Is Starling Marte still on your Oakland Athletics? Did he help you win a World Series? Is Jesus Luzardo now an ace? Is he no longer on your team? Trying to figure out how hard it is to judge. I guess if you’re no longer paying attention to baseball and just judging Luzardo on what he did for those two months when Marte was on your team, then, maybe, I don’t know, interjection, but I tend to think it was pretty easy to judge then, as well. So, Jesus Luzardo was — you guessed it! — Jesus Luzardo sleeper and he should be on everyone’s team, so you’re welcome! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s no direct evidence that the more handsome a pitcher the more he’s going to screw you over — that we know of. We just haven’t studied it yet! Someone take a ruler and measure the distance between the eyes on Michael Kopech (4 2/3 IP, 7 ER). Now measure the inches on his curve break. Do they match? The golden ratio that is his cheekbones, is that equal to his current 13.50 ERA? This is not eugenics, because we’re doing it for fantasy baseball purposes and not fantasy exterminations. Wonder if Kopech was tipping his pitches, because, while I don’t have a ton of faith in him, that was even bad for the pretty boy. First up, Joc Pederson (1-for-3) hit his 2nd homer. Buckle up! Joc is the type to hit 24 homers in five games, then nothing for three months. Then Mike Yastrzemski (2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 1st homer. Carl’s Jr. Jr. said make the 1st one animal style! Next up, Michael Conforto (2-for-6) hit his 1st homer. More incredibly, Conforto still hasn’t injured himself. Then Thairo Estrada (2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (1) and legs (2). That’s Thairo Estrada sleeper to you. Hopefully, he’s fine, because he left the game after taking a foul off his leg. Finally, David Villar (2-for-4, 5 RBIs) hit his 1st and 2nd homer, and this sucks. I really need Casey Schmitt to replace this schmohawk. C’mon, Villar ill will, do your job! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?