Please see our player page for Eloy Jimenez to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

…And then I say, “Shane!”
Shane Shane bo bane, bo-na-na no faux number one! Shane!
And then I say the name McClanahan!
McClahananananana bo-ana! McClahananananana no faux number one! McClanahan!

The superlatives will be lacking when it comes to Shane McClanahan (8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 1.87, yeah, and you don’t stop). On the Player Rater, he’s the best starter. On the Rest of the Season Player Rater — that’s right, we have a Player Rater that knows the future, Shane’s number three. Even the stats thinks McClanahananananan will be at worst the third best starter the rest of the year. I wrote a sleeper post about him coming into this year. I love, love, lurve him. Yet, I didn’t even think he would be this good, this fast, but me mi mo whoa he’s been good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We have every conceivable rookie’s projections who might be called up. Guys I’ve never heard of like Bobson Dugnutt, but even we don’t have Michael Harris II because he was so young and seemingly far away. Michael Harris II is so young Michael Harris I is still in theaters! Andruw Jones played just 50 games above Single A before he was called up by the Braves at age 19 in 1996. Michael Harris II, who is 21, played 43 games above Single A. How’d he go from A to the majors in roughly a month and a half? Hitting, baby! I give a lot of teams shizz for manipulating service time, but the Braves promote guys quickly. Maybe they feel bad after signing them for $500 and a bag of Takis when they’re 12. In 43 Double-A games, Michael Harris II went 5/11 .305/.372/.506 in 174 ABs. His skills are power and speed, which means he’s worth adding in all leagues. Speed doesn’t disappear for a young player after promotion. Power should remain too. The contact is going to make or break his game this year. If he can’t make contact, he might not hit and get demoted. If he can make contact, then he might be on the short list for biggest impact bats to get called up. Here’s what Prospect Itch said, “He’s a must-add where you can fit him. I’m about 60/40 that his swing-happy approach combined with the big-league heavy balls will prove too big a challenge for his first few hundred plate appearances, but stranger things have happened.” This guy sneaking in subconscious Netflix promos! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Only thing better than three homers in a game is three World Championships in three years for three different teams.” — Joc Pederson probably. Joc Pederson is 80-grade fun. Maybe it’s the goofy paunchy body, maybe it’s the frosted hair that seems done by himself on a whim. I don’t know; he’s just so much fun. Yesterday, him and his fantasy owners had a whole lotta fun — 4-for-6, 8 RBIs and his 8th, 9th and 10th homers and his first career three-homer game. I know it’s inaccurate, but it feels like Joc Pederson hits 30 homers every year, and they’re all hit in the matter of 10 games. Think the only thing you need to know about Joc Pederson is this picture:

Joc Pederson has ice in his veins and NFTs in his crypto wallet. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In November, White Sox front office contacts Eloy Jimenez to discuss his offseason conditioning, and he’s like, “Conditioning? Yeah, of course, I’m doing offseason conditioning,” then he looks in the mirror in his shower and smiles, hair filled with conditioner. Eloy Jimenez gets himself ready for each game with a very special pregame warm-up. He warms up and opens a button on his shirt. Warms up more, and opens another button. I was curious why Statcast said Eloy Jimenez’s exit velocity was “one to three weeks into each season,” but now I see what they meant. Seriously, though, what is going on?! Last year, he jumped for a home run ball that was 75 feet past his reach, and knocked himself out for months, and this weekend he strains his hamstring by running like an absolute madman through 1st base. Someone needs to pull him aside and be like, “Yo, my main man, you’re here to swing hard and hit homers. You can’t run fast, you don’t have Inspector Gadget arms to catch home runs. Just swing hard. That’s it.” I love this guy so much and he causes me so much pain. Almost as much pain as he causes himself. So, he will be out for six to eight weeks, and Tony La Russa will still find reasons to bench Andrew Vaughn! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The left side of the mouth:

“Due to a pitch count of 80, Clayton Kershaw would not get a perfect game, but he would become the perfect symbol of his generation. Babied to the point where pitchers can no longer throw, they ‘pitch’ — whatever that means! When did we, as a society, get to the point where a pitcher can’t throw the ball? A participation perfect game, that’s what Clayton Kershaw got yesterday.”

The right side of the mouth:

“Clayton Kershaw has been battling injuries for years. His last year was cut short, due to injuries. He couldn’t pitch much in the preseason, because of the lockout and this was his first start of the year. Who cares about a perfect game? This is about keeping Clayton Kershaw healthy for as many innings as possible.”

The left side of the mouth:

“You’re a sissy.”

The right side of the mouth:

“What are you talking about? We’re just different sides of the same mouth!”

So, Clayton Kershaw (7 IP, 0 ER, 0 baserunners, 13 Ks) threw seven perfect innings, and nothing about him has changed since my preseason thoughts on him. He could be fantastic, but not even for a 9-inning game, let alone a full season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week, we jumped right into our our first look at the Top 100 Hitters for the 2022 Fantasy Baseball Season.  If you missed that article then please pause the current programming and give us a quick read to catch up.  This week we continue to jaunt down the rankings by looking at the next 20 hitters on the list.  This week’s edition is smattered with risky bets like Ronald Acuna and Mookie Betts, solid producers like Freddie Freeman and Ozzie Albies, and upside potential with Eloy Jimenez and Tyler O’Neill.  So let us kick this off with a #11 who really should be #1, but thanks to a the injury risk he is our headliner at the end of the first round.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve finally made it – the final top dynasty keepers! The best of the best, the cream of the crop, or any other cliché you can think of.

You’ve been waiting for weeks to see who made the top 25, right? Well, ff you are a fan of hoarding the top fantasy pitchers, then this top 25 is not for you as only two hurlers cracked my Tier 1 group.

I understand the importance of pitching in real life, but in the fantasy baseball world, I’ve always been able to cobble together a solid pitching pitching staff during the season either with trades or timely free agent adds. In all of the dynasty leagues I’m in, I have used my prospects as trade chips to bring in established pitchers.

If you love to add players 30 or older, you will also not be a fan of my Tier 1 group. I love Mike Trout and Freddie Freeman (the lone 30-or-older players to make this list), but I’m building a dynasty team. I want the youngest top players possible. That said, Trout is still in my Top 10 while Freeman comes in at No. 21 thanks mostly to the fact he is 32. But with the universal DH, I could understand why he should be a top 20 player.

Just Draft Dodgers!

When sitting on the couch watching a baseball game and one of your favorite teams is whoever is playing the Los Angeles Dodgers, you are not going to like this list either.

The Dodgers have four of my top 25 keepers (Freeman, Walker Buehler, Mookie Betts and Trea Turner) and could have had five if Corey Seager decided to stay in Southern California. And who says money can’t buy happiness. Of those four players, only Buehler is a homegrown talent after being drafted in the first round of the 2015 draft out of Vanderbilt (though Pittsburgh did draft Buehler in the 14th round of the 2012 draft).

While the Dodgers dominate the list, the Toronto Blue Jays own the top five as two players – Bo Bichette and Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – crack the group.  Seven other teams also have two players show up in Tier 1.

So, let’s see who they are and get to the 25 top dynasty keepers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last year around this time, we were all bright-eyed and razzy-tailed youths looking forward to a fresh new season through the lens of a fresh new format: The RazzSlam, a collection of 12-team best ball leagues to determine who is the Razziest baller of them all.  

I did what I could to find my way through the field and wrote about it here in Attack on RazzSlam: The Itch’s Final Draft Rundown. 

Mistakes were made. I drafted 19 pitchers, which is fine, especially considering the pitchers I got: Logan Webb at pick 447, Alex Reyes at 399, Trevor Rogers at 346, Jake McGee at 327, Dylan Cease at 303 . . . Hey, how come I didn’t win this league? 

Well, outfield weakness, for starters. Christian Yelich at 2.15 was not fun. Conforto at pck 63. Teoscar at 82 and Buxton at 134 were fine, but in general, I was short on corner bats (had Dom Smith, Andrew Vaughn, Eric Hosmer at 1B) and short on outfield bats. Was also weak at catcher: Vazquez, Tom Murphy and Torrens oh my. 

In most roto leagues, I think you can cover a weak spot with a strong one. That doesn’t seem to be the case in the RazzSlam, so I guess that was our blueprint heading into the draft: have good players at every position. Seems simple enough. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m a big fan of the everyman. I consider myself the everyman. I’m every man’s everyman. A pioneer of normcore. Track pants and a blinking light on my car’s dashboard that either means my seatbelt isn’t on or I need oil. That is me. What better way to elevate the Everyman Culture, then to take part in a tourney where no one is smarter than anyone else. Enter the RazzSlam, a Best Ball tourney. Every everyman likely knows what a Best Ball league is, but, if you don’t, it’s when you draft a team and the computer manages it for you by choosing who are your best players, and you get those stats. It’s basically one fantasy league removed from the robots taking over and killing us all. Well, the last laugh is on you robots, cholesterol is beating you to the punch! Kinda love that Razzball is putting on a tourney (hosted by NFBC — thank you!) that no one really has any clue how to strategize. A true everyman experience. Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people who think they know the correct strategy for Best Ball, and a few of them might be right, but there’s an under 1% chance they know why they’re right, and it isn’t just luck. In some ways, Best Ball leagues are a lot like Best Ball strategies. Throw a ton of them out there and a few good ones will rise to the top through sheer force of players’ performances and nothing you’re actually doing. That’s the fun. Anyway, here’s my RazzSlam, a 42-round, Best Ball 12 team draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?