Introducing the interrobang list! (You’ll find it at the bottom of the top 100.) What’s an interrobang you may be asking yourself? An interrobang essentially is a hybrid of a question mark and an exclamation point. When someone says something like “What in the world?!” You can save yourself some space and use the interrobang. “Okay cool, weirdo — how does this apply to fantasy baseball?” The interrobang list at the bottom are a few guys who didn’t make the Top 100 list proper, but are still people that are making me go “?!”

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m somewhere where I don’t know where I am. I began this week in sunshine in Iceland and came back to an ice storm that had me grounded for hours in Toronto (and it’s late April, may I remind you). Facebook (dafuq?) was showing live MLB games. Jose Bautista is a minor leaguer. Everything feels turned on its head. I don’t trust much anymore, but for my FantasyDraft lineup today, I do feel I can trust Chris Sale ($23,400… Yes. I know) as he squares up against the Oakland A’s in O.co Stadium. Sale has pitched there only a couple of times, but he’s fared pretty well, with a 3.21 ERA. There’s a good chance he could hit double-digit strikeouts against the A’s, who are striking out at a 23% clip. So in summary, Sale today should be A’s-O-Ks.

Let’s take a look at other options for FantasyDraft for April 21, the first day of spring. (“No, autumn!” cries everyone in the southern hemisphere.)

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Got to get down on Friday. Personally, I had some success on FanDuel yesterday and you might’ve too if you used the Razzball lineup optimizer, which led me to a Lester/Tigers/Orioles lineup for the early slate and a lineup with Jake Arrieta, Ketel Marte, and Brandon Belt in the main slate. So of course I’m riding high after yesterday and I couldn’t have a picked a better time to do so as it is 4/20. Get it? Alright, alright, alright stay tuned for more bad 4/20 jokes and my DFS research and recommendations.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Charlie Morton aka Ground Chuck was playing “Hamburger Patty Cake” with the Mariners yesterday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, 0 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.72, WHIP at 0.88.  Ground Chuck said, “I’m A-1, try to ketchup.”  Then he took a long pull off his Jamaican meat patty, and continued to speak in food allusions, “I’m topped by Monterey Jack, you’re whack.” Ground Chuck cracked his knuckles, “I make you so gay, you try to find Ground Chuck on Grindr.”   Then, after a pause, “Gay, as in happy, but no judgments.”  Finally, concluding, “If the Babe had a kid named Chris, then Ruth’s Chris still ain’t got shizz on Morton’s.”  Charlie Morton sounds a bit cocky there, but he has every reason to be.  In the preseason, I said, “A pitcher that goes through life as an also-ran to turn it around in his 30’s is rare.  One other guy comes to mind, his name rhymes with Bitch Chill.  Anyhoo, I’m buying into Morton’s transformation.  How about a late-in-career transformation we call The Caitlyn Jenner?  No?  Okay.”  And that’s me quoting me!  One thing I did not understand at all was why there were so many skeptics on Morton this preseason.  It was as if they ignored all of his previous season, and did not watch him in the playoffs.  Ground Chuck is Salisbury Steak’ing his claim as a top five starter.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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There’s no greater compliment I can give a player than I wish I owned him in every league.  Okay, maybe a higher compliment is I wish he’d married my mom and been my dad, but then he’d be old and I wouldn’t be able to own him in every league, unless he married her when I was, like, 20 and he was three years old, but then I’d sorta be like his dad, but I would have to call him dad and that would be confusing, what would I call him, “Lil’ Dad?”  “Half Pops?”  “Daddy Little Jeans?”  And if Daddy Little Jeans were my dad and I owned him in fantasy and he had a bad game, then dinner would be awkward.  “Hey, Daddy Little Jeans, you can’t get a hit off a Marlins pitcher?  You’re useless, and my mom wants a divorce!”  So, in conclusion, it’s best if I say I want to own a player vs. have him be my dad.  Seriously, though, Bryce Harper (2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs with his 8th homer, hitting .315) could be finally putting up that 45/15/.320 season we’ve all been dreaming about, and headed for a $750 million pay day with the Yanks (after holding out for three months into the season).

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Boy, this Ohtani is all anybody’s ever talking about. I’m so sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that Ohtani is. I was so tempted to put Shohei Ohtani on this list. So tempted! Unfortunately he only has 30 at-bats compared to the league leader, his teammate, Albert Pujols’s 67. That’s too small of a sample size for me to overreact and 3-4 batting games per week can leave you in a hole. It is fun to see that he has a 0% soft contact rate though. But that Ohtani is some kind of something, huh?

This winter weather is messing with a lot of players. At the bottom of my top 100 you’ll see a list of hitters who shoulda, coulda, woulda been in the top 100 if they were healthy. I think most of them will return and find themselves back on the top 100 list, but for now, due to their missed games and health uncertainty — they get their own list.

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This is an interesting slate, which I hope you’ll all enjoy. There’s a lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what-have-yous. A lot of pitchers. I think I wrote up nine different pitchers. Surely, even if you play multiple lineups, you aren’t going to use nine different pitchers on FanDuel. So I gave you a lot of food for thought. I’m just sorry it’s soup, I know I should keep more of your favorites around. On the offensive side of the ball, it’s the usual suspects at the top for building blocks in both cash games and tournaments and cheaper options with the platoon advantage.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Hello and welcome!  We’re going to take a look at the AL and NL league leaders in each standard rotisserie category after the first full week of baseball and discuss, analyze, and Razz it up! (90’s phrasing!) My favorite in the group is ONLY available when there is a tie in a category. Waiting in the weeds is a pitcher or hitter that is not currently leading the category, but could find their way into the lead soon…

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You ever see something and you still don’t believe it?  You distrust your own eyes.  Well, I just saw a video of this, and I still don’t believe it:  Mookie Betts bowls better than he hits.  And he hits pretty damn good!  He rolled a perfect game yesterday vs. the Yankees (4-for-4, 5 runs, 4 RBIs, and his 2nd homer), but he also rolled a perfect game in the World Series of Bowling last November.  On Shabbos, no less!  Half of me is expecting someone to point out that it was this other cat, Mookie Betts from Virginia, who is a white guy who looks like Ed Kemper.  (By the way, you kinda know Ed Kemper reads Razzball.  You just know this.)  So, out of habit, does Mookie spray his baseball cleats?  Does he ever beat out an infield single and want to sweep out his right heel like he just threw a bowling ball?  Between innings, does he play arcade games?  How is Mookie Betts a world class bowler and not Matt Albers?!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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What do ya hear? What do ya say? We’re a week into the MLB season, are you jumping to conclusions yet? I’m just kidding, we’ve all been doing that since the very first pitch. While it’s nice to see your season-long teams at the top of the standings this early, it’s still just one week out of about 25 in the grand scheme of things. It’s not meaningless, but, you know, nothing is guaranteed. Plenty of guys who are off to slow starts will catch fire this weekend and vice versa, so it’s important not to get too up or too down or too high (especially if you aren’t yet on the 40-man roster) or too low. That being said, daily fantasy is a one night stand with no time for regression. You must dance with the matchups you chose when lineups lock, but only until about midnight. Wham, bam, thank you, sirs. Then start all over again tomorrow. But first, here are my picks for tonight’s slate on FanDuel.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?