The Trade Deadline Spectacular! Lot’s to unpack here, where do I begin? First, the Chicago Cubs continued to clean house Friday night sending their remaining superstars to opposite coasts. Kris Bryant is headed to San Francisco in exchange for Alexander Canario and Caleb Killian, and Javier Baez was sent to Queens to play shortstop for the Mets. The Mets will send outfielder Pete Crow-Armstrong back to Chicago. Look, I’m not going to pretend to know who any of these prospects are, I will leave it to The Itch’s Top 100 Prospects for 2021 Fantasy Baseball to tell you which of these kids are worthy of your 2021 consideration, but I will confirm that Pete Crow-Armstrong is an awesome name, so he must be very good. Anyway, Bryant should gel nicely with this Giants team and they get a “true star” to keep up with the big boys in the NL West. Javier Baez will keep doing the Javier Baez thing he does, now in NYC City, and it should be fun to watch a Javy/Lindo infield combo when Lindor returns in a few weeks. Meanwhile down South, the Braves were so distraught about Acuña (same, Braves, same), they traded for an entirely new outfield. Retail therapy! I get it! Altana acquired Eddie Rosario, Jorge Soler and Adam Duvall all from different teams, all within about an hour of each other, and all of whom are basically the same player. But for real though, how insane was this deadline? Quality and quantity. Twitter Friday afternoon was probably more exciting than most of the MLB games I’ve watched this season. Blockbuster deals! Twists and turns! 10 all-stars traded! Headlines that would make Suni Lee say, “oh, wow that’s a pretty intriguing story.” And she’s not even talking about Trevor Story! For me, it was an exciting, drama-filled 48 hours in sports and I’d love to go on about how fun it is to watch athletes displaced from their homes but there is too much to cover today so will get right to it.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Grey placed an eternal flame outside of Razzball HQ in memory of Biz Markie last night, right next to the eternal flames for Rodney Dangerfield and Clear Pepsi. Also, baseball returned. It was really hard for Grey to watch the games, what with being outside ensuring that no interlopers messed with his candle or his Transformer-themed lawn ornaments. I asked him if he wanted a campfire to keep warm but he just kept talking about the All Spark. ENYWHEY. We’ve got a lot of content for you today on Razzball, so let’s catch you up on the Friday night games so you’re ready for the next week! 11ish weeks left in the fantasy baseball season — make them count!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bam! Enrique Hernandez had two hits including his 11th home run of the season Friday night and has been hotter than twin Black Widows since returning to the lead off spot. You heard that correctly, friends, there is another Black Widow and she’s just as hot, and smart and badass as the first. As for Enrique, the home run was Kiké’s fifth out of the lead off spot and his fourth lead off home run in the past two weeks! Time to Kiké it into high gear! Hernandez struggled at the top of the order in May and early June but has found his groove since return to the #1 spot responding big with a .288 batting average, 9 runs, 11 RBI, and five dingers in the past two weeks! I know what you’re thinking–Enrique Hernandez? Is this guy for real? We all know what Kiké Hernandez is at this point, a career .240 hitter with very little speed who’s never hit more than 21 bombs in a season. He’s a clubhouse guy, a utility player, a swiss army knife for sure, but not a fantasy stud, right? Yeah you right, and Dodgers fans are rolling their eyes at me so hard right now, but hear me out! He’s leading off for possibly a top three offense in baseball and was basically headhunted by Sawx Manager Alex Cora. Cora loves himself a good swiss army knife, and Kiké is the guy he’s wanted leading off since day 1, despite his struggles and despite much more desirable, and likeable and handsome (*cough Verdugo*) options available. The impending arrival of top prospect Jarren Duran also puts Hernandez’s future as the lead off man even more in doubt, but he’s currently one of the hottest hitters in the league and scoring runs for one of the best teams in baseball. I’m not saying he won’t come back down to Earth, but I am saying he could be worth adding while he’s at least pretending to be the leadoff hitter Alex Cora always dreamed of. And as long as he has studs like JD Martinez (2-for-3, HR (18), 4 RBI) and Rafael Devers (1-for-3, HR(22)) driving him in he doesn’t have to do much but get on base and could help Kiké start your offense in the second half!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What is up good people! I’m stepping in for the esteemed Daniel Anthony Pants, who is off at the “Resize your Levis” event in northern Saskatchewan. I don’t know if that’s a weight loss clinic or adult briss event or…I mean, DAP, you do you! But of course, Señior DAP takes the day off when there’s a FIFTEEN game slate. What is this, America’s birthday or something? Hah! Got you. Articles of Confederation ain’t the “‘Mericuh” that I got tattooed across my lower back when I was 18. If John Hancock was only around to sign that! ENYWHEY. Whatever you’re doing this weekend, hopefully, you’re meditating on the love for your fellow human. And if you’re shooting off fireworks, for the love of DAP do it away from the city and nowhere near a dry prairie, please. Let’s move on to the one thing that binds us all across geographies and political divides: imaginary baseball team management!

Here’s what I saw on the June 2 slate in MLB:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Looks like the Angels got someone new to carry Vlad’s crutches and Figgins’s machine-washable throw pillows he uses to bench press. Out with the young and in with the just a tad older and much better. Post All-Star Break Teixeira (PABST) is a thing of beauty in the 2nd half of the year and PABST’s […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?