After we went over the top 10 for 2023 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2023 fantasy baseball in our (my) 2023 fantasy baseball rankings, it’s time for the meat and potatoes rankings. Something to stew about! Hop in the pressure cooker, crank it up to “Intense” and let’s rock with the top 20 catchers for 2023 fantasy baseball. Am I selling you on the top 20 catchers being exciting? No? Good, don’t want to give you the wrong impression. Here’s Steamer’s 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. The projections noted in this post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2023 fantasy baseball:

NOTE I: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE II: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

NOTE III: Watch us discuss the Catchers rankings on YouTube:

1. Salvador Perez – This tier goes from here until Will Smith. I call this tier, “Fruit of the poisonous tree.” As I’ve said in past years, and will now say again, catchers are tainted as a position, so this tier is fruit of the poisonous tree. It is tainted because they are catchers. That’s according to Marcia Clark’s How Attorneys May Motion or Express References or as it’s known in the law community, MC HAMMER.  In MC HAMMER, it clearly explains how if you grab a catcher after I tell you, ‘U Can’t Touch This,’ you will receive nothing but scorn and smack on the wrist as I slide-dance my feet over to you in very baggy pants.

Position scarcity doesn’t exist. It was made up by someone who had a clever name for something, and shoved their strategy into it. It’s a classic case of the tail wagging the dog. Two dozen years ago, someone, who thought they were much smarter than they were, said, “If I draft a top catcher, and everyone else has a weak catcher, I will do well. I will call this position scarcity. Wow, I am so clever I deserve a cupcake with ‘Clever’ written in frosting.” Then, Mr. Clever perpetuated position scarcity for decades, and others heard about and thought it was too clever to ignore. Like it’s some kind of get out of jail free card. Speaking of which, “position scarcity” is similar to, “A cop has to tell you they are a cop.” According to movies, maybe, but cops don’t have to tell you shizz. Any hoo! At no point did anyone stop in the last 25 years and think, when people made this position scarcity strategy up, it was Mike Piazza hitting 40 homers and .360. Catchers were good when they were plugging their butts with syringes filled with The Juice.

I would hope if the guy, who came up with position scarcity, were to see the top catchers now he would’ve never mentioned position scarcity. Will Smith, a strong bet for a 24-homer, .260 season, is drastically different from, say, Sean Murphy, who is free in every draft? Murphy hit 18 homers and .250 last year. They’re about as different as one hot week from most hitters. So, you could draft Murphy and randomly grab a hot schmotato, and it would be the same as someone who drafts Will Smith. Jerry Tomato was the exception to the rule last year. He was good for a hitter, not just a catcher, as he went 20/20. There was one other catcher in history to go 20/20. You’re betting on a once-in-a-lifetime season, which isn’t a great bet. Finally, as Perez showed last year, don’t trust anyone to repeat. Catching is just too demanding, even with the DH helping to rest them. So, even if you want to argue position scarcity made Jerry Tomato that much more valuable, okay, but it’s not position scarcity, if it’s one guy. That’s Jerry Tomato scarcity, and he wasn’t drafted as the top catcher last year anyway, Perez was.

As for Salvador Perez, I’ve seen people going Realmuto, Varsho, even Smith, before Perez, and let me say, a’la Stephen A. Smith, “We don’t care…we don’t care.” Whether the first guy I have ranked, who I don’t want to draft, should really be the fourth best catcher I don’t draft or vice versa isn’t interesting. Kinda surprised that people who are drafting catchers early are going for those others before Perez, but I guess they have their reasons. I don’t really understand anyone’s wont to draft an early catcher, so I absolutely couldn’t tell you why one is drafted before the other. If I were the type to draft a catcher early, I’d go for the one who seems like a good bet to hit 30 homers, but that’s me. 2023 Projections: 68/31/83/.257/1 in 564 ABs

2. Daulton Varsho – Traded to the Jays. “Daulton’s on the road…Daulton needs a new house, north of the border…Daulton’s going to Canada…It’s Road House in Toronto! (Eh!) Daulton’s got a new rule, Rule Number Four: Be Polite!” That’s the trailer for the new Road House film, Daulton Goes To Canada. For a half a glimmer, I thought I might be able to draft Varsho this year. A “half a glimmer” is three milliseconds. It’s a space term, derived from the star’s glimmer. The star is John Travolta. Any hoo! Daulton in the Jays’ lineup is better, I suppose, but he’s no longer going to be leading off, and they have more weapons, which means Varsho could find himself rested more. I enjoyed Varsho last year. Was fun rostering him. In one league, I had Varsho and Cal Raleigh, and Raleigh was free off waivers, which proves my point to not draft catchers. For what it’s Cronenworth, if I had to draft a top catcher and at their cost, I’d prolly go Varsho. Will I? Var’ no! Also, I go over Varsho in the video at the top of the page. 2023 Projections: 71/22/81/.242/13 in 521 ABs

3. J.T. Realmuto – Touched on Jerry Tomato — or Tomayter, as my father says — in the tier breakdown in the Perez blurb, except–True story, my trainer came and screamed at me for an hour between me writing “except” and what comes next, so I’m only guessing I was about to say that except Tomato has repeated being good a few times in the past. Not 20/20 good, obviously, but he’s been a toppish (totally a word!) catcher for a few years now. At some point, you’d have to imagine his knees give out and, at 32 years of age, would seem as good a time as any. If not, can Realmuto donate his knees to science, and “science” is what I’m calling Acuña. 2023 Projections: 66/17/73/.266/15 in 481 ABs

4. Will Smith – Feels like one of the safest here, which is weird because celebrities had to mark themselves safe on social media from Will Smith. I’d love to see Will Smith squash all this and have the Dodgers sign a pitcher named Al O’Pecia, and seat the actor Will Smith in the front row of Dodger Stadium and let him get used to the idea. Dodgers can even have August Alsina seated next to him, if it makes him feel better. As for the catcher Will Smith, he is safe, but also kinda boring, but but also also one of two catchers with Perez who I can see getting 100 RBIs. Will they? Unlikely, but I could see it.  2023 Projections: 71/25/83/.258/1 in 503 ABs

5. Adley Rutschman – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Willson Contreras. I call this tier, “No little Keanus here.” I was rubbing my hands together like when you’re about to say something so mind-blowing that everyone around you is like, “Whoa,” like Keanu. Sadly, I was rubbing my hands together because I was going to rank everyone in this tier in the first tier, and rank them much higher than everyone else, and give them great projections, but then I saw what I actually projected all of them for and I couldn’t make little Keanus out of you.

As for Adley, he just went 13/4/.254 in 113 games. Totally fine for a catcher! Good even! But how big of a jump forward are you exactly expecting here? Double what he did in only roughly 25 more games? That sounds nuts, to be honest. Like you’re having a break from reality. Everywhere I’ve looked, I’ve seen Adley ranked much higher than this, which is fine, I wasn’t drafting him anyway, and you shouldn’t be either. 2023 Projections: 79/18/61/.271/5 in 491 ABs

6. Alejandro Kirk – One of the biggest “No little Keanus here,” because I could’ve sworn Kirk was great. He saw 139 games last year and hit 14 homers. Oh…*runs in the Boston Marathon, crosses the finish line after three weeks*…kay. Kirk does have some of the nicest looking peripherals, and physically looks exactly like Bart Harley Jarvis, so maybe we haven’t seen the best of him. Though, it doesn’t matter, because I’m still not drafting catchers. 2023 Projections: 66/16/77/.282 in 479 ABs

7. Willson Contreras – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Cards. “They’re big shoes to fill, but I’ve toiled in Yadier’s shadow for six years. It’s time–God damn it, what is Ken Rosenthal reporting?” That was Andrew Knizner. All of those late-night seshs with Yadi and Knizner watching Beaches for nothing. Between sobs, Knizner said, “But I’ve been Barbara Hershey for so long! You can’t sign Contreras!” Historically, Wrigley is better than Busch, but last year it didn’t play that way, and Willson had one of his best years (22/4/.243). He might not have the upside of a Realmuto or Sal P., but he’s about as locked into solid production as you’re gonna find at catcher. Would I draft him? Nope, he goes before I draft catchers, but he’s fine.” And that’s me quoting me! 2023 Projections: 74/23/68/.247/5 in 422 ABs

8. William Contreras – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Ruiz. I call this tier, “*manually turning a red light to a green light*” This tier starts your “drafting catcher engine.” Think it’s the latest I’ve waited to tell you to draft a catcher, but also: Look at all these catchers you can still draft. Maybe my head-melon has officially started leaking brain custard, but catchers feel deeper than they’ve felt in a long time. They won’t prolly feel this way at the end of the year, but they look deep now. Also, I usually don’t draft catchers until after 200th overall in one-catcher leagues, unless a guy falls. So, it depends on where these guys are going, clearly. I’m not reaching. In two-catcher leagues, you should absolutely grab at least one of the guys in this tier. Then punt your 2nd catcher, while still getting a catcher who starts. I’ll go over 2nd catchers in a few tiers.

As for William Contreras, let’s get it out of the way up front, yes, I separated the two Contreras brothers in two different tiers. I’m a terrible person. I go around to maternity wards and separate twins at birth. If they didn’t want me to do it, they wouldn’t make it so easy to buy doctor scrubs. Here’s what I said this offseason, “Traded to the Brewers. Contreras has a great shot at being a top three catcher, which is like being the tallest Altuve or the rosiest-faced clown. “Hey, congrats, Squeeky, your cheeks have the most blush.” That’s me judging a clown face competition. With the move to Milwaukee, Contreras has a good chance of upping his power and ribbies, simply because he has less competition to be the three or four-hole hitter in the Brewers’ lineup. He’s the new lineup centeras piece.” And that’s me quoting me!  2023 Projections: 62/23/77/.247/1 in 446 ABs

9. MJ Melendez – Guy chosen right before Michael Jordan Melendez was S.A.M. Bowie and became one of the great regrets of the Blazers, but smoke ’em if you got ’em. I love these catchers, p to the erhaps, too much. Feel like I’m gonna be disappointed, but Michael Jordan Melendez was 18/2 in his first taste, and absolutely crushed minor league pitching previously. MJM isn’t just what sounds like a fancy luggage brand, he’s a future top catcher, which means: Just okay stats for any other position. 2023 Projections: 74/22/66/.229/3 in 486 ABs

10. Tyler Stephenson – Last year was a lost year. Not a palindrome! There should be a specific phrase for a sentence where you start with something like “last year” and end with “lost year.” How about a “Broken Typewriter Sentence?” Because when you have a broken typewriter you can only use certain letters that work. We can abbreviate Broken Typewriter Sentence to BTS. Is that taken by anything else? Oh, I see. So, last year was also BTS as it’s usually used: Broken Tyler Stephenson. But the year before I wanted Stephenson in every league, and I see no reason why he can’t bounce back, especially if he’s being drafted late enough. 2023 Projections: 61/16/67/.284/1 in 443 ABs

11. Gabriel Moreno – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Traded to the Diamondbacks. Seeing him behind Carson Kelly on some depth charts, which seems kinda funny. Hold on, I wanna do a little laughy-laugh. Okay, got that out of my system. Excitement for Moreno is at a fever pitch right now for me. The great thing about a catcher flyer is no one at catcher is good where I draft them, so taking a flyer on a guy like Moreno is nothing but profit. I’m the Prophet Profit, baby! Previously, Itch’s said, “Moreno’s not a big dude, listed at 5’11” 160 lbs (he’s bigger than that), but Moreno generates loud contact to all fields thanks to extreme control of a quick swing powered by quick-twitch, rotational athleticism. He’s good on defense, too, which is good for his baseball value but might be a little irritating at times for our purposes, given the team’s depth at that spot and the toll catching can take on a player’s body. I’d like these brass knuckles to take a toll on Grey’s body.” Not cool, man. UPDATE: With Kelly out, that shores up Moreno’s playing time. 2023 Projections: 57/18/59/.277/6 in 421 ABs

12. Sean Murphy – Here’s what I said for Sean Murphy this offseason, “Finally, a trade! No team but the A’s could make Sean Murphy into the impetus for a three-team trade with eight players involved. Sean Murphy to the A’s; Oakland gets Kyle Muller, Esteury Ruiz, Freddy Tarnok, Royber Salinas and Manny Pina; Milwaukee gets William Contreras, Justin Yeager and Joel Payamps. Braves turning William Contreras into Sean Murphy, presumably at DH and catcher, is such a why bother for the Braves that I wonder if Alex Anthopoulos just had to trade William Contreras because he wouldn’t agree to a 17-year, $12 million deal. “You won’t agree to being a Braves player for life for $75,000 a year? Then, I’m sorry, you have to go.” We know Billy Beane, Anthopoulos and the Brewers’ GM, whoever that is, don’t play fantasy baseball, because if they did, they’d know to never pick their catcher scab. Ron Popeil, food appliance guru and master fantasy baseballer, once said, “Set it and forget it.” Seriously, I’m trying to figure out the difference between Murphy and Contreras and I am at a literal loss. In Oakland, the will is gone; and in Atlanta the William. Sean Murphy was the 6th best catcher on the Player Rater last year, and, while it looks like he overperformed on average, there is something to a team as bad as the Vegas A’s just rolling a guy like Murphy out there for 150-ish games. It’s Murphy’s Law. In a better lineup, he might lose a few at-bats, but, as said above, he has the DH too.” And that’s me quoting me! 2023 Projections: 66/20/73/.244/1 in 502 ABs

13. Cal Raleigh – He hit 27 homers. This year he’s projected for 27 homers by Steamer in a similar number of games. Hey, good enough for me! *looks at his minor league numbers* Okay, it’s not good enough. Looks kinda like he out-hit his ceiling, but worth the flyer at catcher. More about my Raleigh cap in the video at the top of the page. 2023 Projections: 53/20/60/.219/1 in 412 ABs

14. Keibert Ruiz – Before talking nonsense about Ruiz, there’s one quick note: 12 catchers should be drafted in a 12-team league, but I allow one extra catcher for the nimrods who draft Varsho for their outfield slot and draft another catcher too. How do you carry your brain around? In a thimble? So, allowing one extra catcher, this means what? This is around 275 overall, because it’s the end of a 12-team draft. As for Ruiz, he was nearly in the next tier named after Reggie Roby, but it’s hate speech to mention Reggie Roby, a guy who kicked balls for a living, and start it with Keibert Ruiz. “I need to wear sweatpants to your wedding.” That’s Keibert Ruiz talking to his sister, while crying about his plums. So, last year, Ruiz’s year ended with a shot to the nad-bag–*crosses legs*–ahem, anyway, assuming he’s healthy and able to get his swollen nuts back into their shell, he’s a solid bet for a bounce back. As long as it doesn’t bounce back into his grapes. By the way, in a two-catcher league, if you draft Keibert and Reese McGuire, I can’t guarantee you’ll win, but there’s a good chance you’ll be able to get sponsored by Jergens. 2023 Projections: 54/14/59/.261/3 in 404 ABs

15. Jonah Heim – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Haase. I call this tier, “Reggie Roby would be jealous of your catcher punt.” Okay, seriously, draft catcher, and you can even grab a 2nd catcher now. As for Heim, makes pretty solid contact, like a young Jonah Hill with his pants. It’s the type of contact for Heim–and now I want to listen to HAIM for the next three weeks. Ugh, I love them. Shizz is so catchy…like Heim! He hits a lot of fly balls, so he might hit 20 homers, but also .215. 2023 Projections: 56/18/62/.216/2 in 417 ABs

16. Elias Diaz – Coors is good; Elias Diaz is not. “You want our factoids and this is what you say about our son?” That’s Elias Sports Bureau. 2023 Projections: 36/16/48/.237 in 378 ABs

17. Eric Haase – Small related side note: How did I think the Tigers could win the World Series last year that I bet on them in the preseason? They have Eric Haase as their top run producer! And I Haase marbles in my head. 2023 Projections:  46/15/54/.233 in 338 ABs

18. Christian Vazquez – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Fortes. I call this tier, “After The Irishman ends.” By the tier name, it refers to how long you waited to draft a catcher. This is the last tier I’d feel comfortable about drafting for your 2nd catcher. The guys after this tier are flyers in very deep leagues. As for Vazquez, here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Twins. Briefly misspelled his name Christina Vazquez, which made me giggle, then the Cancel Police knocked my door off its hinges, and I’m stuck with the cost, plus I have to pay for their overtime! Geez, things are out of control. You know what’s also out of control? (An impeccable segue), that the Twins would just be better going with Jeffers, but that’ll never happen. Vazquez has huge pop (for 2 weeks a year), and is valuable (for maybe three).” And that’s me quoting me!  2023 Projections: 43/8/50/.269/4 in 376 ABs

19. Danny Jansen – There are so many catchers with the line: meh/15/meh/meh. One might say it’s the era of meh/15/meh/meh. 2023 Projections: 43/15/48/.243/1 in 304 ABs

20. Shea Langeliers – Here’s what I said last year, “When the A’s decline to pay Sean Murphy around $1.7 million, and trade him for $45K to the Yankees, Langeliers’s 2023 draft price is going to go up, but just know I’m interested before it makes sense to be interested. By the by, the A’s must’ve been so sick of being told to ‘Pay up’ for their players, they went out and got Payamps.” And that’s me anticipating the A’s! Also, they were so sick of being told to “pay up,” they sent Payamps in the same trade that made Langeliers relevant. Langeliers might be better than Murphy and William Contreras with the bat, but he has the most risk of hitting .180. 2023 Projections: 46/17/54/.224/1 in 394 ABs

22. Carson Kelly – Every end-of-the-year I’m like, “Wow, how did I rank a guy like (player’s name) so low and he ended up as a top 12 catcher? Crazy, man, crazy.” Then I turn to a mirror and smile coyly, and wink. This year? It seems pretty obvious there’s gonna be a bunch of catchers drafted late who out-perform. Not saying Kelly will be great or any of the guys in this tier, but you don’t need to squint too hard to imagine it, either. UPDATE: Out for a while with a fractured forearm. 2023 Projections: 43/14/46/.229/1 in 332 ABs

21. Jose Trevino – Not saying this guy is the meow’s cat or anything, but catchers are as deep as the quicksand every Gen X’er was scared they’d fall into. Not great catchers, mind you. But there’s a ton of 2nd catchers. 2023 Projections: 41/12/44/.256/3 in 364 ABs

22. Joey Bart – Won’t be driven out of town any time soon. He’ll just take the BART. 2023 Projections: 38/12/41/.219/2 in 358 ABs

23. Nick Fortes – I have a special knack for getting catchers late that work out well. It’s my Fortes! High-five me right now! No? Aw, geez. 2023 Projections:  44/11/41/.243/4 in 276 ABs

24. Francisco Alvarez – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until O’Hoppe. I call this tier, “A praying mantis flipping a coin into a fountain.” This tier is a wing and a prayer. The next tier is better for at-bats, this tier is better for an upside gamble. As for Alvarez, I already gave you my Francisco Alvarez fantasy. It was written while driving 15 MPH slower than everyone else. 2023 Projections: 34/15/44/.246 in 324 ABs

25. Endy Rodriguez – Itch said of Endy, “Rodriguez is nearing the end of his minor league journey. In a real-world scenario, he’s probably the Opening Day catcher for this team. Pittsburgh punted in all sorts of creative ways last year, so the chances of Endy breaking camp with the big club are minuscule. It’ll probably be Jason Delay and his 53 wRC+ or Tyler Heineman and his 57 wRC+. You never know, though. If you put the switch-hitting Rodriguez behind the plate and in the middle of that lineup, the whole team looks about 50 percent better. The athletic 6’0” 170 lb former Mets farmhand played a fair bit of outfield in 2022 but looks smooth behind the plate. His bat is racing his glove to the majors, and the presence of number one pick Henry Davis complicates the issue further, but it might help them both to share the workload and kick over to DH or left field on off-days. Rodriguez is a better baseball athlete than Davis and a more versatile defender, so he might find himself in the ideal fantasy catcher spot, escaping the rigors of daily dish duty while finding his way into the lineup much more than the average backstop. In 31 Double-A games last year, Rodriguez popped eight home runs and slashed .356/.442/.678 with an impressive 13-to-15.2 percent walk-to-strikeout rate. He finished the year with a week in Triple-A, where he collected eight RBI in six games and slugged .773. In short, he is ready. Also, Grey’s short.” It’s height challenged! C’mon! 2023 Projections: 38/14/40/.271/1 in 311 ABs

26. Bo Naylor – When the Tigers had two Castros, I said nothing, because I am not a Castro. Then every team got a Luis Garcia, and I said nothing, because I am not a Luis Garcia. Now there’s two Naylors on Cleveland and I’m so confused. We need new names! Naylor went 15/9/.257 in Triple-A last year, and seems ready to rock and roll in the home of that, but Cleveland’s the type to drag their heels on that, so they signed a placeholder named Zunino, who will platoon with Naylor. 2023 Projections: 26/8/33/.217/3 in 271 ABs

27. Logan O’Hoppe – This guy sounds like someone who doesn’t know where they’re flying into so they’re just making up names. O’Hoppe came over from the Phils (by plane?), and had 26/7 in Double-A with great contact. Seems like a solid flyer (into O’Hoppe International?) if the playing time is there, but, like anyone with German heritage, I have not ruled out Stassi. 2023 Projections: 27/8/26/.251/2 in 244 ABs

28. Christian Bethancourt – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Stallings. I call this tier, “You didn’t read the sugar levels on those Nutter Butters.” So, you were like, “I’m just gonna have a few Nutter Butters to start the draft, a little sugar will help me stay awake,” and you overdid it, sugar-crashed almost immediately and conked out for three hours. After that sugar crash, you woke and you’re trying to find catchers with starting jobs. These guys could be 2nd catchers since they have jobs, at least for now, and that caveat “at least for now” is their biggest problem. As for Christian, saw Bethancourt finish last year in the top 20 catchers (18th!) on the Player Rater, and I understand why people don’t believe what they read. He had nine homers and 1 steal last year and 41 runs and 52 RBIs and he was the 18th best catcher? That’s a woof from me, dawg. If you told me in an 18-team league, I could have that production from Bethancourt and he’d be the 18th best catcher or a flyer on a guy like O’Hoppe, who might be decent or terrible or not even play, I’d be like Clooney in Up In The Air and go to O’Hoppe. 2023 Projections: 37/8/43/.267/1 in 371 ABs

29. Ryan Jeffers – You ever wonder if Ryan gets onto an escalator and is like, “Jeffers…on, moving on up!” No? I guess only one of us has deep thoughts. In 67 games last year, Jeffers hit seven homers. In 85 games the year before, he hit 14. Next year, three-and-a-half homers in 45 games! 2023 Projections: 41/13/44/.211 in 314 ABs

30. Travis d’Arnaud – The French Terminator is bahhck up for Sean Murphy.  2023 Projections: 31/10/36/.253 in 258 ABs

31. Omar Narvaez – Signed with the Mets. Not “signing Hosmer and Mancini and blocking Mervis” levels of bad, but signing a four-homer, .206 hitter last year to block Francisco Alvarez doesn’t exactly fill my glass of confidence halfway with logic. 2023 Projections: 34/8/43/.231 in 347 ABs

32. Max Stassi – When I see someone give O’Hoppe (or any rookie) a starting job in projections, and Stassi (or any vet) the bench role, I think, “I wish I wasn’t that cynical.” 2023 Projections: 26/8/29/.208 in 293 ABs

33. Yasmani Grandal – Last year he went 15/5/27/.202/1 in 99 games. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA–breathe, Grey! We’re losing him! Yo, seriously, is that the worst 99-game statline ever or nah? Because I bet you’d struggle to find a 99-game statline that bad even in, like, 1904 when 8 HRs led the league. 2023 Projections: 44/14/48/.207 in 346 ABs

34. Austin Nola – He has 23 HRs and three steals in 293 ABs–Wait, that’s in 293 career games. Oopsie. He’s had a career about as good as Luke Voit’s 2020. 2023 Projections: 37/4/39/.267/1 in 303 ABs

35. Jacob Stallings – This guy and Austin Nola would have a two-hour Home Run Derby with the first one to one winning. 2023 Projections: 33/6/37/.247 in 356 ABs

36. Luis Campusano – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the end of the list. I call this tier, “Odds and ends, but mostly butts.” As for Campusano, the Padres’ GM, Preller, really (Preally?) hates playing rookies, huh? There’s a better chance of Campusano being a throw-in in a trade than catching for the Padres, even though, I’d lose Nola and try Campusano. He showed solid power in the minors (14 HRs in 81 Triple-A games), and contact (17.3% K-rate). 2023 Projections: 26/8/33/.254 in 291 ABs

37. Mike Zunino – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Guardians. Guardians weren’t ready to go to Naylor. They got cold feet. They wanted romance. Wait, I’m thinking of either Losin’ It or Biloxi Blues. So, the Guardians answer the question to who’s Zunino’ing who. No idea why, I guess they don’t think Naylor’s ready, so they got a platoon guy for him. It is Biloxi Blues!” And that’s me quoting me! 2023 Projections: 30/15/39/.187 in 312 ABs

38. Francisco Mejia – Doesn’t his last name sound like what the sweet Puerto Rican man calls all his female customers in the bodega? No? Hmm, maybe it’s me. Oye, mija, listen, I’d prefer Mejia to Bethancourt but I don’t think Dinero does. 2023 Projections: 33/7/36/.254 in 273 ABs

39. Sam Huff – He has 70-grade power and 10-grade hit tool, and, like, a 30-grade chance of playing, and a 70-grade last name to scare pigs who hastily built a straw house. Yo, pigs, you gonna really put that house on Zillow when a wolf can blow it down? 2023 Projections: 27/12/34/.206 in 227 ABs

40. Reese McGuire – Has the Jergens sponsorship come through yet? Hmm, maybe “come through” is a bad way of asking that. 2023 Projections: 37/6/35/.262/2 in 301 ABs

Considered but omitted: Carson Kelly, Gary Sanchez, Yan Gomes, Andrew Knizner, Victor Caratini, Ivan Herrera, Diego Cartaya, Martin Maldonado, Roberto Perez (FREE AGENT), Kyle Higashioka, Luis Torrens, Jorge Alfaro, Tucker Barnhart, Garrett Stubbs, Mitch GarverJames McCann, Connor Wong, Austin Barnes,  Pajamas Higgins, Tomas Nido