Please see our player page for Kyle Schwarber to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

“Alexa, for Amazon Prime Day can you order me Clorox?  Thank you, Alexa.  Now can you order me clips to hold my mouth and eyes open? Thanks, Alexa! Now can you order me a large man to pour the bleach into my mouth and eyes while shoving me into my oven? Oh, and Alexa, if you can get German Marquez to do it, that would be so appropriate!” German yesterday?  Guten tagged!  Here’s a visual metaphor for you:  A German U-boat filled with men, one toilet and only Taco Bell to eat for a blitzkrieg of runs.  Marquez is driving me insane but he is not an Uber ally, because he is dead to me.  Goodbye, Nazi In Exile, enjoy your long walks along the Chilean coast and your alpaca farm where you shave little German helmets on your animals. After 2 2/3 IP, 11 ER, ERA up to 5.12, I will never draft you again or any Rockies pitcher. I should’ve learned my lesson from Jon Gray last year! (Though, he’s been okay this year — shut up, Contrary Grey!)  In my deeper leagues, where I have no choice, I’ll still be sadly starting Marquez in away games.  *sees his next start is in Yankee Stadium* Lowercase yay!  He might be Deutschland but I’m Dunceland for owning him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The last month the Gurriel father & son team, Yu-Lou-Gu, have been having is absolutely crazy. It’s the best father & son month since August 1984 with Yogi and Dale Berra. Only Yogi  and Dale’s great month wasn’t due to on-field play, but Yogi making a drug-sniffing dog’s handler laugh while Dale snuck an eight ball of coke through security at a Def Leppard concert. “If this leopard is deaf, what kind of singer is he gonna be?”  Oh, Yogi, you card!  Yesterday, Yuli Gurriel went 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting .281, as he continues his torrid pre-All-Star break pace.  He’s hitting close to .380 in July with eight homers.  That’s in 38 at-bats.  He has 11 homers in his last fifteen games.  Only one near as hot is his son, Lourdes. Hopefully, both Gurriels keep it going, knowing it ain’t over ’til the encore of Pour Some Sugar on Me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Today is the last day of baseball before the three most dreaded words of the summer are uttered: All-Star break. It’s not all bad though, we get a tiny break from setting our season long lineups at least.  Still, there will be no moneies to be made for the next few days.  So, let’s be sure to enjoy our well-deserved rest, but push for one last score so we can soak it up while we rest.

We have eleven games on the FanDuel Main Slate today, let’s dive right in:

*Editor’s Note: I’m posting this for Nich today due to a scheduling conflict, so even though my name is up top, it’s his work*

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s plenty of starting pitching to choose from on tonight’s FanDuel slate, but one option stands above the rest. Rays starter Charlie Morton is having a phenomenal year, with a 2.43 ERA, a 2.91 FIP, a 2.62 Deserved Run Average, and he projects to be the top starting pitcher on Tuesday. Morton’s got a dominant 29.9% K-rate and has a great matchup against the Orioles, whose poor .300 wOBA ranks them as a bottom-five offense against right-handed pitching. Baltimore is even worse when they’re away from their hitter-friendly park, with a .285 wOBA and a 25.1% strikeout-rate on the road. In a pitcher’s environment at home, Morton should easily put together a dominant start and is well worth the investment in cash games.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The five-game FanDuel main slate does not have a lot to offer in terms of big-time pitchers. But you have to start someone at the position in your FanDuel lineup. The Padres’ Logan Allen ($9,300) should be at the top of your short list of possible pitchers. The young left-hander has been solid in his limited MLB work this season. Allen has a 1.38 ERA. While there is some regression coming for the southpaw, this is a solid matchup for Allen. The Giants’ lineup really struggles with left-handed pitching. As an offensive unit, San Francisco has a .114 ISO, .267 wOBA and a 64 wRC+ against them. The Giants are also striking out at a 24.3% against lefties in 2019. It certainly doesn’t hurt that this game will take place in San Francisco, which is a pitcher’s park. Allen certainly appears to be a safe play on Monday, which on this slate should be good enough. 

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We have to talk about these London games.  They were bloody awful!  Talk about giving the pitchers a lift, but lift as in British English, as in putting the pitchers on an elevator with Droopy Dog saying, “Going down?”  This was like if The Spice Girls had a Cilantro Spice.  The Yankees used a pitcher named Hale just to troll the Brits.  They should’ve signed Ben Revere to a two-day contract, but just to have him scream at the front gates when the Brits were coming into the stadium. That would’ve been savage.  Never forget, never surrender!  Okay, now I’m just singing Corey Hart, WHO WAS CANADIAN BUT REACHED SUCCESS IN AMERICA!  Any hoo!  There was a ton of offense this weekend.  Luke Voit bongo’ed four hits on Saturday, then pulled up lame because London’s healthcare system.  The Yanks said he should be back on Tuesday, and the Brits said, “The Yanks said something.”  Aaron Judge (1-for-2, 1 run) went donking (his 7th); Aaron Hicks (2-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs) said, “Dinger ain’t just the Rockies mascot,” with his 6th on Saturday; Brett Gardner (2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI) elicits female-like screams from Joe Buck when he went deep for his 12th homer on Saturday; Michael Chavis stepped up for the Sawx with two dongers on Saturday because the fence was 255 feet away and 0-for-5 on Sunday; Just Dong (3-for-4, 2 runs and his 18th) introduced his new cosplay character, Dongo Magnificent; Christian Vazquez (2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 11th homer) thumbed his nose up at all Protestant Vazquezes, and all pitchers got wrecked.  I mean, Rick Porcello (1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.07) and Masahiro Tanaka (2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.74) should’ve forgot their passports and never even went.  Oh well, as we know, hitters don’t need to be in London to tea off.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to the final day of June 2019, FanDuel DFSers. It’s going to be a beautiful one. Let’s get some meat over evenly heated coals, crack a beverage, and enjoy the day. Barbecue is a process, but the payoff is well worth it, very similar to DFS. The more time we take, the better the rewards. So let’s get to it.

We have a 9-game FanDuel Main Slate today, and not one game has much risk of postponement. There might not be a single cloud in the sky; it’s going to be that great. So, who should we start on such a perfect day? Let’s continue to play with fire and start flamethrowers Gerrit Cole ($11,200) and Max Scherzer ($12,500) in the majority of our lineups. Not only do they lead their respective leagues in strikeouts, both have very favorable match-ups this afternoon. We should expect nothing short of dominating performances, making them very likely to return value even with their expensive salaries. Sometimes it’s best to just keep things simple and not over complicate it. Meat and fire. Gerrit Cole and Max Scherzer. Lock them in, and let’s figure out the rest of our lineups from here.

Read past the break for suggestions on how to fill them out with some good ol’ Midwestern stacks.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, the Pirates exploded for five homers, touching up Brad Peacock (3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.13). Maybe the Pirates would’ve let up more if his name was Brad Parrot.  Kevin Newman led the way once again, going 3-for-5, 2 RBIs with his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Of course, he will be in this afternoon’s Buy column.  Didn’t need Newman to star in the show off the Peacock, but fantasy owners should still be saying, “Hello, Newman.”  Then, Starling Marte (2-for-5, 3 runs) got a slam (12) and legs (12), as he plays his OCD for laughs, as one can do in the decade of the 90s.  Then, Jacob Stallings, subject of Permanent Midnight and staff writer on ALF, got into the action, going 3-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his 1st homer.  Then, Corey Dickerson (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 2nd homer, and had his 2nd big game in a row. Previously, Co-Dick was famous for what Siamese Twins filled out on a medical report, but maybe we should be “Stuck on You!”  Finally, Josh Bell (2-for-5, 2 RBIs) hit his 22nd homer, 2nd homer in the row and Bell said, “If we’re doing this like the 90s, I saved you,” but the Pirates couldn’t be reached for comment, in hiding, wearing a puffy shirt. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jordan Yamamoto (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 0.00) is the 1st pitcher to begin a career with back-to-back outings of 7+ scoreless while allowing three or fewer hits in the modern era.  The modern era meaning from 1908, not from 2017 until now when baseballs were filled with helium, which caused Party City stores to close nationwide.  This is exactly what everyone expected when the Marlins called up an 89-MPH fastball that was flame-retardant.  “How fast does he throw?”  A scout recently said to another scout who was holding a speed gun.  “I’ll tell you when the ball passes the plate.”  The scout sticks chew in his mouth, scratches his sweaty armpit, then, finally, “89-ish?  Maybe.  I might’ve just been taking a reading of that bird that flew overhead.”  This goes back to my recently prophesied conspiracy theory that I introduced the other day regarding Zack Greinke.  When everyone is throwing fast, it actually keeps hitters off-balance to throw slow.  The Slow Pitch Theorized Conspiracy for Hardball (SPITCH) is fully realized now that it has an acronym.  If you’re willing to gamble a bit, I could see grabbing Yamamoto in any league to see if he can keep it going. This could also hurt Zac Gallen’s chances of a promotion, and I don’t know who gets bumped for Caleb Smith.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sometimes it’s better to stay away from a Dodgers Giants matchup.  One of the best rivalries in baseball can create uncertain outcomes at times.  Today is not one of those times.  The Dodgers are on an absolute tear.  They’re tied for the league lead with 48 wins.  And a big part of that is a resurgent Clayton Kershaw ($10,700).  Kershaw has a 2.78 ERA the last 30 days, a 2.25 ERA in June, and a 2.06 ERA against the Giants over the last three years.  That includes 90 Ks over 96 innings.  He’s also not walking many this year, with a 1.08 WHIP overall.  Kershaw is also $1,300 cheaper than today’s top dog Justin Verlander.  So use that dough for some of the no-brainer, big dollar guys in your lineup.  On to the rest of today’s picks.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?