Daniel Vogelbach (1-for-2, 2 runs and his 5th homer, and fifth in his last five games, hitting .471) is man-hot. Daniel Vogelbach is the Jelly Donut of Swat. Daniel Vogelbach looks like a beer keg with legs. John Kruk and Matt Stairs had a baby, and that baby’s name is Daniel Vogelbach. Daniel Vogelbach is one part mayonnaise, one part ketchup, and his secret sauce is Sexy, and he puts it on everything. “Why, Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it), did Daniel Vogelbach spend 12 years in the minors if he’s spurting Sexy sauce on everything?” You ask, while batting your eyelashes. You have to subtract one of those years, young buck, because Daniel Vogelbach was once confused for a refrigerator and spent a summer in a Hyannis Port Sears showroom. Mansplainingly, subtract, like, ten of those years because he couldn’t play defense and he was in the NL. He’s done nothing but hit rockets like he’s groupies of Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy. Last year, he hit 20 HRs and .290 in Triple-A with a 15.6% strikeout rate. He could be an actual breakout and I would grab him, even if his playing time might become cramped with the return of Kyle Seager or he might just be platooned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Cedric Mullins to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Good day to you, Razzballers. Today is Sunday, April 7th, 2019. The year is of the Pig and the moon is in Saturn rising. All of this means it will be a fantastic day of baseball, obviously. Let’s celebrate by crushing this main slate.
Pumped? Get pumped.
Okay, too pumped, calm down – enough excitement for one Sunday.
Let’s instead look again at the process of successful, long term DFSers, and let’s try to improve together. Grab a coffee. It’ll be nice.
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I remember distinctly the day Will Clark retired. I just got home from a Winter Solstice Pageant. I was only 12 years old at the time, but my mustache was already coming in. Earlier that night, when I was singing in the pageant, a mother yelled out from the audience, “Who’s the midget with the mustache?” Then another parent yelled out, “Or is it a dwarf? I always get confused.” Another yelled, “Is that kid 40 years old? I don’t know if I want my kid around that adult.” I didn’t think my day could get worse, then, back at home, I heard that Clark retired. I was still in my autumn leaf costume, sobbing into my Pop Rocks, essentially ruining them. A devastating day all around, but things got better eventually. Soon my friends’ parents wouldn’t call the cops when I was hanging out with their kid, thinking I was a 40-something pervert. One mother even complimented me on my mustache. Maybe this was where my love of Cougars first started. What does this have to do with Pete Alonso? Nothing at all. Just like his Spring Training means nothing. Yes, he mollywhopped the ball to parts of the field this spring with a bat that can only be discussed in terms from British literature that no one has ever read. “Pete Alonso’s bat is so fast I will call him Mr. Dashwood.” *blank stares* “Um, yeah.” He has 80 grade power — Mr. Darcy, you aloof bedswerver! I’m buying all them shares of Alonso and I talk about him in today’s first Buy video at that top of the post. Can Colin Firth play him in the movie? Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave. A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’ A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.” Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft. This slow draft took about eighteen days, 3 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds. Not almost 18 days of straight drafting, mind you. I don’t need to ice my clicky finger. It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting. It does allow you to second-guess your picks. Actually, more like triple-guess. (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We (me) have gone over the catchers, 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen to target, cause I have to do everything around here! Look at me, throwing shade like a beach umbrella! That makes sense…if you don’t think about it! That’s what I want my bumper sticker to say, and then when I step out of my car, I want my clever t-shirt to say it too, “That makes sense….if you don’t think about it.” How can I arrange my life so this happens? I need a personal assistant. “So, it says you worked as Kanye’s assistant and you bought mirrors for nine months straight….” That’s me checking the CV of my favorite imaginary assistant. Okay, so this post is all the outfielders that are being drafted after 200 overall that elicit uber-sexy feelings. Last year, I featured Mitch Haniger, Stephen Piscotty, David Dahl, and Michael Taylor, who I’ve featured every year since 1922, but not this year! Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 100 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2019 projections. Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Drafting outfielders for the 2019 fantasy baseball season is a hot topic. There’s tons of outfielders, but the top couple tiers dry up quickly. On this show, B_Don and Donkey Teeth discuss several outfielders you might consider targeting once all the top OFs are off the board.
The guys also discuss expectations for rising star Michael Conforto and relative unknown rookie, Christin Stewart. Then some late round outfield targets are thrown around to finish up the show. Opening day is coming, make sure you get your fill of sausage, sausage juices, and the Ditka, Sausage, and Fantasy Sports shirt before time runs out!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The intro for Yahoo’s 2019 fantasy baseball rankings reminds of a Dear John letter written by your ex-wife. Only your name is Kevin and she accidentally writes “John,” and doesn’t have a chance to proofread it because she’s bedding down your best friend. Read for yourself:
Sure, guys and five girl readers, “You’ll find your familiar Trouts’, the Betts’, the Martinez’, but questions remain.”
Yeah, I have questions that, uh, remain. How many Trouts have they ranked? The Betts’? Did they rank his entire family? The Martinez’? Is that like World War Z, but instead it’s, “An Apostrophe Z?”
“When should the first pitcher go off the board, and should there be more than one?”
Said like Ron Burgundy, “That’s not English.” Should there be more than one? Are Yahoo leagues this year one-pitcher leagues? I’m so confused. Did 100 monkeys with 100 typewriters, who only read Bleacher Report, write up this intro?
“Enough talk though. Let’s jump into the rankings!”
Ha! Was there enough talk? I’ve written more in this intro than they wrote. With that level of effort, they don’t even deserve this evisceration, but… *sharpens nails that look like the 108-year-old Asian man in the Guinness Book of World Records* …here goes nothing. For this post, I will be looking at the consensus Yahoo 2019 fantasy baseball rankings vs. my own 2019 fantasy baseball rankings.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Our 2019 Razzball leagues are in full signup mode. Today, I’m in dress-down mode. Casually coming for you in the middle of the night, wearing nothing but slippers and a multicolored housecoat that’s half open so you can see the family jewels while I apply my Ambi. Here’s what Grey thinks about you (repeat 17x). I’m about to blow my top as I let my aggravation Michael Bublé over. If you’re clutching pearls like Barbara Bush’s hologram, you’re better off looking at cute pet pics on Instagram, because I’m sharpening my pointer fingers, i.e., the fingers that I use to type! I am the Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it) and I’ve come for your children! See, because blog writing doesn’t pay so well, I’ve taken a second job as a bus driver, so I’m literally here for your kids. Like a baller! A shot caller! An “I’m outside of Hot Topic at the maller!” Now let’s open a window and defenestrate ESPN’s 2019 fantasy baseball rankings. To the tune of Ice Cube’s No Vaseline:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The top 60 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball will be filled with guys you absolutely should and will own, and guys you absolutely will and should not own. Was like that last year, was like that the year before and has been like that since the dawn of time. In 6,000 B.C., a caveman scratched his butt on a stick and thought, “Hey, I wonder if I can patent a stick for butt scratching, and should I hold this top 60 outfielder or drop him?” Such is life with the top 60 outfielders. So, here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. As with all of my 2019 fantasy baseball rankings, my projections are included and where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 60 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Got at-bats? Mullins does. Or, at least he should. Is that alone enough to make you want him? I mean really, really want him? The Baseball Show’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Video Draft Guide continues right here on Razzball with a look at one of the Orioles new building blocks. He is the first player so far this year that Ralph and Andy are torn on. So, you be the tiebreaker. Who’s side are you taking? We know what side Grey’s on, Cedric Mullins sleeper.Please, blog, may I have some more?