Please see our player page for Brandon Woodruff to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Not your Grandfathers Top 100 Starting Pitchers…

Grandpa-Donk handled a lot of wood back in his day, if you know what I’m saying. Not that kind of wood! Alright, maybe that kind of wood, it was the 60’s and from what I understand the donkey world was pretty open-minded back then. But the way G-Donk tells it, his hobby of woodworking accounted for the majority of his wood handling back in the day. The old donk enjoyed taking very rough pieces of phallic shaped lumber and smoothing them out into much less rough pieces of phallic shaped lumber. Because it was such intensive and sweaty work, he typically handled the wood shirtless with help from his completely platonic friend Jimmy.

I always think of these stories of my gramps and his very heterosexual buddy handling that rough wood together when I hear the name of my lede for this week’s top 100: Brandon Woodruff. Brandon had a rough start to his 2019 campaign himself, but has begun to mold his season into a masterpiece that would make even Grandpa-Donk and sweaty Jimmy proud. After a seemingly unlucky April, Woodruff has been silky smooth since the calendar turned to May, sporting a 1.55 ERA and a 0.92 WHIP with 29 strikeouts across 25 innings. Impressively, 11 of those innings came in his home hitter haven Miller Park against the Mets and Nationals, while the other 14 innings were tossed in scary road starts against potent Philadelphia and Atlanta squads! I don’t think he’s a sub 2.00 ERA pitcher, but this dude is smoothing out penis-shaped timber with the best of them at the moment. Woodruff has thrust himself a full 30 spots higher in my rankings this week, all the way up to #42.

Here are a few other guys who have been smoothing and thrusting lately…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kinda obsessed with our Top 100 Fantasy Starts tool (not a tool as much as it’s a free list).  Since I’m writing this on Sunday, I’m not sure yet where Shane Bieber and his 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 15 Ks will rank, but my guess is 1st or 2nd overall.  (The tool (list?) updates after this is posted.)  Pretty deep into the season to have Shane Bieber throw possibly the best start of the year.  Bieber was the youngest Indians pitcher since 1987 with 12+ Ks — wow! — the last to do it was Greg Swindell — um, all right! Bieber was the 4th youngest since 1908 to have a 15-K, zero-walk game, the other three:  Gooden — crazy! — Kerry Wood — nasty company! — and Vince Velasquez — well, um, he had a good game.  Only two Indians starters in history with a shutout, no walks and 15 Ks are Bieber — damn! — and Luis Tiant, who at 78 years old just beat up my autocorrect for changing his name to Luis Taint.  Sunday’s start shows why I wanted to draft Bieber in every league.  Hopefully, he keeps it gong…gong…go I ng–Sorry, my autocorrect is scared to change anything now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Great Sunday to you, Sunday Brunchers. Try to keep those hats on.

We have ten games on the FanDuel Main Slate today, and almost all will be significantly effected by wind. Let us hope we can break this wind together. Let’s crop dust the rest of the field and use the wind to our advantage.

In each of these games wind should provide a great advantage to hitters, given the speed, direction, and air density. Any pitcher with a poor fly ball to ground ball ratio or who relies on movement or deception to induce weak contact should be faded or avoided entirely:
• Baltimore Orioles at Cleveland Indians, wind at 18 to 21 mph to center, positive VMI for hitters, temps in the mid 80’s
• Colorado Rockies at Philadelphia Phillies, wind at 12 mph to left/center, temps in the 80’s
• Los Angeles Dodgers at Cincinnati Reds, wind to left at 16 mph gives a bump to right handed hitters
• Toronto Blue Jays at Chicago White Sox, wind to left at 17 mph bumps right handed hitters
• Houston Astros at Boston Red Sox, wind to left/center at 15 mph
• Tampa Bay Rays at New York Yankees, wind to left at 12 mph
• St. Louis Cardinals at Texas Rangers, wind to right at 9 mph, temps in the 80’s

Games with more room for error than usual for pitchers:
• Milwaukee Brewers at Atlanta Braves, wind in from right at 10 mph counter the usual positive hitting conditions in Atlanta
• Oakland Athletics at Detroit Tigers, wind in from right at 16 to 18 mph and light rain to end the game counter otherwise positive hitting conditions in Detroit
• New York Mets at Miami Marlins, wind in from center at 11 mph, matters only if roof is open

So, how can we use the wind to wind up winned? Continue reading below for the best picks of the day.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

My preseason NL MVP pick was Travis Shaw.  *turns to a mirror* You’re handsome, but hella stupid.  My mirror reflection separates from my body.  The apparition picks up a see-through suitcase, “I think it’s time we went our separate ways.”  But how will you get along out there without me? Can an apparition order Chick-fil-A or boba? “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”  It was one bad call.  “Tell that to my teams with Travis Shaw and Daniel Palka.”  Nooooooo!!!  Any hoo!  My soul left me after I told it to draft Travis Shaw, and I can’t blame it.  What a garbage call.  Maybe Shaw will return as Travos so we can “see worth.”  It’s a game of puns!  With the Brewers moving on from Shaw by sending him to the Ineffective List, they called up Keston Hiura.  I know I say this shizz three times a week, but he could be *the* call-up of the year.  Here’s what I’ve said in the past, “One scout said this offseason at the Arizona Fall League, ‘We all talk about the bat of Vladdy, with obvious reason, but outside of Vladdy, I’d call Keston Hiura the purest power bat I saw out in Arizona. He’s just a special, special kid.’  The scout continued, ‘Have you seen my chew?’ turning his lip inside out, ‘Ah, there it is,’ then after a pause, ‘I’m big league, baby!’ I actually have owned Huira for the better part of two years in two separate NL-Only leagues, and I’m a fan.  Think there’s a chance for a 18/7/.270 season.  That sounds downright–Don’t say Jed Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie– Led Jowrie!  (What’s worse, I thought of saying ‘what Brett Lawrie was supposed to be’ — woof!)  In Double-A last year, Hiura hit 6 HRs with 11 SBs and .272 in only 73 games, but his bat will play, and, as mentioned above about how he looked in Arizona, he destroyed the AFL, getting better and better.”  And that’s me quoting me!  He continued to get better this year, hitting .333 with 11 HRs in 37 Triple-A games, while chipping in four steals.  He was striking out way too much in Triple-A to hit .333 in the majors, but 18/7/.270 sounds about right from this point forward with a chance for more.  Maybe he could even be the NL MVP.  I’m kidding, apparition!  Please, come back, I’m empty inside!.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Doe, a deer, a female deer that sounds like Chaz Roe.  Ray, a drop of eleven Rays!  Me, a name I call myself while looking in the mirror to check on my hair–Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.  I was just singing a little song I call, “Julie Andrews is One Hot Cougar.”  Yesterday, Robbie Ray did the impossible.  No, not strike out 11 Rays hitters.  I mean, yes, he did that.  But that’s not what I found impossible.  I find it impossible to like him, and yesterday he made me smile a little.  Sure, this ‘impossible task’ is a bit subjective, but get out of your own head, it’s all subjective!  Life’s subjective!  Wow, I just became an angry philosopher.  Call me Socrankies.  Robbie Ray’s line yesterday 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (3 BBs), 11 Ks is almost exactly him to a T.  He is a 4.7 BB/9 guy and that was his BB/9 yesterday in under six innings.  He can’t go deep because of the walks, and his Ks are gorge, but also limit his IP.  I don’t hate him as much as it might seem.  I don’t own him, but I can understand the allure.  I “allurve” Ks.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After our most successful article last week, we’re going to keep riding swiftly down the stream. While the pitching landscape has made it one of the most difficult seasons to stream, that means it’s more imperative than ever. Getting those quality innings into your lineup can help limit the blow from some of your regulars getting shelled and I feel as though we have a great crop of guys this week who can boost your ratios. Quite simply, I have an offer you can’t refuse… 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Michael Chavis continued to do nothing but hit Friday night going 2-for-4 with his fourth home run, a 459 foot 2-run shot (woh) off Reynaldo Lopez. Someone put a distress beacon on that ball so maybe Captain Marvel can find it in space!? Chavis is now slashing a real pretty .310/.442/.619 with four homers and two steals in just 42 at bats (13 games). Extrapolate that! If he started the season with the team he’d be the their home leader! I’m trying to figure out why he’s not owned in more leagues. Is it because he doesn’t have a sexy name like Skye Bolt or Carter Kieboom. Or maybe we haven’t done our due diligence as irritating members of Red Sox Nation to over hype this guy until you’re sick of hearing about him. Well, get ready to hear me gush about my newest BoSox heart throb because Chavis has done everything since arriving with Boston including five multi-hit games in his past 10. He’s famous around the clubhouse for the studious notes he takes after every at bat. Whaddaya think you’re some kinda smaht guy Hahvad boy? How do you like dem apples! Err, ok, wrong school but the reference still works. Did I mention the kid bats in the middle of a lineup that features Xander, JD and Mookie. Those are very good players we all know and love on a first name basis. Any hesitation most likely stems from the inevitable return of Eduardo Nunez and Dustin Pedroia (L out L) stealing his playing time, but I trust Alex Cora to play the young guys when the time comes. He was a BUY and needs to be owned wherever he’s available, Dustin and Eduardo don’t hit moon shots like that, folks. It’s time to join the Michael Chavis fan club.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you said you loved Kevin Kline in the role of Cole Tucker, you wouldn’t be wrong.  What can’t Kevin Kline do?  Yo, Kevin Kline, wanna be my father?  “Sir, this is a Cheesecake Factory and that’s James, our short-order cook, not Kevin Kline.”  I’m crazy for rookie bats.  As crazy as I am for rookie bats, I’m tepid on rookie arms.  I don’t dislike them, but roofies are real and dangerous.  Rookie bats, however…*places nose right above a stick of butter, inhales deeply*  So, the Pirates called up Cole Tucker.  He’s the sexiest Pittsburgh shortstop since….uh Jack Wilson wasn’t very sexy…uh…Jordy Mercer God no…Erik Gonzalez bleh…Arky Vaughan!  Arky took no crap, quitting for three years at one point because he got sore at Leo Durocher for talking to the press about a teammate.  And Arky still made the Hall of Fame!  Of course, he had to wait 33 years after his death.  Any hoo!  Besides Cole Tucker sounding like he wears Vineyard Vines, what do we know about Tucker?  He has 30-steal speed.  Love that.  Where else are we finding that?  That alone is reason to grab him in every league.  Yes, every league.  Next up, he made swing adjustments and is more a 17-homer hitter than the under-5 homer guy he showed before this year.  In 18 spring at-bats, he hit two homers.  In 57 Triple-A at-bats, he hit three homers.  In his first career at-bat with the Pirates, he homered.  For power, I’m going to start saying Triple-A is samesies with the majors.  We’ll see if my new approach pans out!  So, 17/30/.250 while also taking a walk?  I told you every league.  The Ghost of Arky Vaughan can eat a D!  (If the site suddenly goes down for three years, we know why.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“After Chris Davis raved about it, I had to check it out.” said James Paxton, as he sipped maple syrup.  He continued, “It was my favorite show since the last time I saw Rush.”  The Canadian then put on moose antlers, an orange vest and grabbed his shotgun.  Before he exited the press conference, he smiled, adding, “Eh.”  So, James Paxton busted that slumped like Chris Davis before him and like every team that faces the Sawx.  Crazy when you have Mookie Betts hitting near-.200 and Benintendi out of the lineup, what a massive hole the Red Sox become, or a Mass-hole for short.  Yesterday, James Paxton went 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.91, putting to doubt some concerns that he would be eaten alive by the New York lights.  Paxton laughed, “It’s just like downtown Saskatchewan.”  All the New Yorkers grinned, Paxton was already growing a tough, sarcastic sense of humor indicative of New York, when Paxton added, “Seriously, eh, there’s nothing finer than Regina.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Tyler Glasnow like an Afrikaan miner threw a gem — 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 0.53.  Hey, I wrote a Tyler Glasnow sleeper this year, so I’m down with TG-AF — that’s Tyler Glasnow as f**k!  Yes, I’d love to mock the Pirates for trading him away.  However, I’m not sure how much we can’t discount how Ray Searage preaches contact and is a wet blanket on Ks-slash-some pitchers, i.e., Glasnow may never have been this pitcher on the Pirates.  Then throw-in Meadows into the trade, though?  I mean, what were the Pirates thinking?  “Argh, we’re dumb.”  Pirates should be cursing themselves, which would sound like, “Plankety plank plank!”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?