Please see our player page for Marcus Semien to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Takes off Hello Kitty headphones, places head on the train tracks. Faintly off in the distance, I can hear the very subtle call of exuberance. A very, small yay. That’s the sound of the one fantasy baseball owner who has Isaac Paredes in their lineup for his three-homer night (3-for-3, 4 RBIs, 6th, 7th, and 8th homer). I’ll be real with you, I was sweating this one for Mark Whiten. Back in 1993, Whiten glued four baseballs to his hand back, and he ain’t trying to get a new member of the club. For those of you singing, “I love a Paredes,” I know. This would’ve been Ethel Merman’s best day in fantasy baseball. RIP, you bussin’ Queen. Any hoo! Hard to hit three homers and not be a schmotato, so I could see grabbing Paredes, but Cash is there. Cash’s favorite movie? Platoon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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In the first 25 hitters taken during last year’s 2021 fantasy baseball drafts, names such as Christian Yelich (#3), Cody Bellinger (#4), Alex Bregman (#11), Anthony Rendon (#13) and Gleyber Torres (#20) were flying off the board.  This year, the group could hardly sniff the top 50 with each flailing hitter dropping harder than the […]

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And we are back for another heat check. No matter how totally awesome your team is it can always be better. So let’s dive right in to who’s hot and see if they can help you out. One of the past week’s hottest hitters has been Santiago Espinal.  He really shouldn’t be this widely available given that he’s eligible at second and third base and is hovering around the top 12 at both positions. Did I mention that he’s in the middle of a monster stretch at the plate? His power is on the rise and he batted .310 last season so we know he can hit. He’s already been a guy who should at least be on your bench and he could be even better. Advanced stats say that he’s actually been getting a little bit unlucky with his batting average and it should be a few ticks north of .300. I like that he doesn’t strike out a ton and that the Jays lineup is strong surrounding him which should boost his production. I would be shocked if his roster percentage doesn’t spike after the week he just had so you’ll likely have to act fast if you want what he brings to the plate.

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To try to appeal more to teenage boys, the Rangers should install a giant lotion bottle in center field, and each time Marcus Semien homers, it explodes with lotion onto the fans in the bleachers. Yesterday, there would be a lot of facials from Semien, as he went 7-for-8, 4 runs, 3 RBIs and a triple slam (4, 5, 6) and double legs (9, 10). Halleberrylujah. That might actually be the single greatest day ever. Could Semien be coming out of his early-season funk like Jason Biggs once came out of a tube sock? Okay, those other words were likely avoidable. Is Semien about to explode? Again, avoidable! Is Semien about to explode in a good way in all his glory, whole and pulsating. Okay, more very avoidable words! Here’s what I thought on our Youtube channel. Click that and click subscribe so I can feed my children (Ted, a dog).

Before you say, this rooster, Grey, is caca-cuckoo crazy. Entering yesterday’s games, he had an expected batting average of .201, and one of the worst exit velocities in the major. Everything across the board on his page is saying he really was this bad. Not unlucky. Could he turn it all around? Does Marcus Semien sound like a bath towel that you tell your mom you got paste on? Yes and yes! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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“He’s a Mormon like a wolf!” That’s me singing about Ezequiel Duran (2-for-4 and his 1st homer) as he was called up by the struggling-to-get-offense Rangers, who are only spending $500 million this year. Whatever the case, circle July 8th on your calendar as the first day we can get the long-awaited matchup of Duran/Duran. Her name is Edwin Rios and she is dancing on the sand! In the Itch’s top 25 2nd base prospects, Ezequiel got some shine, “Acquired from the Yankees in the Joey Gallo deal, Duran is a twitch factory who logged 19 HR and 19 SB in 105 games in High-A this year, slashing .267/.342/.486 between the two organizations. He also went to the fall league and slashed .278/.333/.611 with another three home runs in 16 games. I’ve been into this guy’s baseball actions since the first time I saw video of him way back in 2017. He’s a stout right handed hitter at 5’11” 185 lbs, who swings like he’s killing snakes. Grey better watch out, since he’s a snake.” Not cool! In deeper leagues, where you’re struggling for everything — wouldn’t be me! (Absolutely is me!) — I could see grabbing Duran. “Just like that river twisting through a Dusty land!” Me singing about Duran when he faces the Dusty-led Astros. Unlike the Phils’ defense, that shizz is catchy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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The calendar has turned into June, and we are about one third of the way through the 2022 fantasy baseball season.  At this point, we know where we need to cut bait and hopefully have found some waiver fodder that will carry us over the warmer months.  As the analogy goes, summer can be as hot as a volcano.  In our world, the heat of the volcano (yes this is a weird analogy) is a combination of Mookie Betts and Paul Goldschmidt.  Owning just one of these two could move you up the standings, while the combination drove in 60 runs with 20 dingers and nearly a .400 average over the past month.  That my fair reader is being as hot as a volcano.  Now that we have drained a pointless analogy, we jump into this week’s edition of the Top 100 hitters for the rest of the 2022 fantasy baseball season.

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What are some general maxims or adages you’ve followed in your life that have benefitted you? “Actions speak louder than words.” Maybe if you’re strangling a mime (editor’s note: do NOT do this, Razzball doesn’t condone strangling, though Lord knows the mime likely deserves it). “If at first, you don’t succeed, try again.” But what […]

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The doubleheader in the Bronx started with Ohtani taking on Nestor. The hype, the excitement, the mustache! It was all there. Then the nightcap, what could it do to top such intrigue?! What, I scream at my ceiling. The nightcap ended up being a very stiff shot of Jameson. Did I do that, right? I haven’t drank in, like, ten years, I forget the terminology sometimes. Jameson Taillon took a perfect game into the 8th inning, ending the game with the line — 8 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at…What’s his ERA? Go ahead. Guess! You know him! Let’s hear your best guesses! Please, indulge me! Imagine dopey guesses as little chocolate truffles. Roll them in cocoa powder and pop them into my mouth for my consumption. WRONG! He’s got a 2.30 ERA. You were two runs off. At least! No? Then you’re rostering him. So, Taillon is doing it with pinpoint control — 5 BBs in 58 2/3 IP — and that’s coming with almost identical stats from previous years minus some Ks. Elite command can carry a guy pretty far. Maybe not as far as a 2.30 ERA in 170+ IP, but won’t be much worse than 3.50 if he holds that kind of command. That Jameson can scotch tape together a lot fantasy staffs if you’re looking to Taillon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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