Welcome, prematurely balding men and five women who are married to prematurely balding men and decided if you can’t beat them, join them!  Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long post.  Here, enjoy some coffee.  Oops, you just drank rat poison.  Don’t worry, it can’t be worse than owning Matt Harvey in the 1st half.  Oh, you owned him and that’s why you drank the poison!  Now, I’m following!   Hey, I’m supposed to be leading!  Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2017 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up!  But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest!  So, as with all of the other 2017 fantasy baseball rankings, take this list with a grain of salt.  If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman.  Also, things change in fantasy baseball.  Daily.  I could put Bryce Harper number two on the top 100 list for the second half of 2017 and he could pull a–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with Bryce.  Why soil a good thing, ya know?  This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued.  It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache.  This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today.  So while Mike Trout did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because, well, Mike Trout.  The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2017.  I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do.  It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone.  Welcome to the future!  Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2017:

1. Mike Trout – A couple of things we know for certain, Al Gore is eating a lot to curb food waste, Alanis lost major cred with the AHP (Armpit Hair Posse) when it was revealed her angst was over Dave Coulier and Trout is the best hitter in baseball if he’s healthy.  He is due back right after the break.  Projections:  44/17/48/.318/12

2. Bryce Harper – Assuming Joe Maddon doesn’t bat Harper leadoff in the All-Star Game and he’s hit on the wrist by Jason Vargas and, my God, man, why am I jinxing him again?!  Projections:  49/18/51/.286/7

3. Paul Goldschmidt – This feels like the locked in top three from now until Bryce has another terrible year, right?  I mean, people were trying to fight Au Shizz being a top three player in the preseason, but I wasn’t (had him number two).  Now, it’s pretty obvious to the rest of youse how valuable Au Shizz is (kinda stutterer!).  He’s not just near the top of the Player Rater, he’s almost twenty dollars more valuable than the tenth best player.  Projections:  47/14/54/.308/11

4. Max Scherzer – My 2nd half rankings depart from my 1st half rankings in one major way, I give more credence to top pitchers.  A few reasons A) Pitchers get hurt and are risky, but, at this point in the season, we know which pitchers are healthy and pitching well.  B) A top pitcher can make a huge difference still, whereas an upside flyer on a pitcher isn’t as valuable, i.e., if your ratios need help, a trade flyer on someone like Jameson Taillon is only going to get you so far, whereas Scherzer can make a difference in the final months.  C)  There’s no C.  Projections:  10-2/2.22/0.88/131

5. Clayton Kershaw – See what I said a half an inch above, or five inches above if you’re talking to a girl.  Projections:  11-2/2.34/0.90/120

6. Mookie Betts – On our Rest of the Season Player Rater, Mookie Ballgame is number one, and, as a cave woman once told a caveman, sometimes you gotta be less tool and rely more on tools.  Projections:  55/12/49/.303/15

7. Nolan Arenado –  I’m just going to put down the match-worn, fraying Jesse “The Body” Ventura feather boa I bought off eBay for $2,000 by this open window and–NOOOOO!!!  Torenado!!!  Projections: 49/17/53/.294/1

8. Aaron Judge –  *shrugs*  No idea.  He could be the best player of the 2nd half, or, if absolutely everything we know about hitter’s peripherals holds true, he hits 17 HRs and .260.  At this point, I’d put five dollars on both outcomes and be happy getting back ten dollars minus the vig.  Projections: 43/19/50/.272/3

9. Manny Machado –  When you see this, bells should go off in your brain.  No, it’s not feeding time.  Machado is the biggest buy of the 2nd half.  He is the exact opposite of Judge.  If everything we know about peripherals holds, Machado will hit 18 homers and .330 in the 2nd half.  If they don’t, he will continue to scuffle to hit .220 and he won’t hit the broad side of the barn even after throwing his bat at an opposing player who is standing in front of a barn.  Projections:  48/18/49/.288/3

10. Kris Bryant –  If I were ranking for purely anecdotal reasons, I’d sandbag all Cubs, because they feel like they’re dealing with a season-long hangover from last year, and just write off Bryant, Rizzo, et al (not the Israeli airline).  However (Grey’s got some positive news!), Wrigley in the summer is like playing on the moon with an aluminum bat if there was humidity on the moon.  Projections:  50/17/52/.281/5

11. Anthony Rizzo –  How Sunny Delight are baseballs this year?  Rizzo looks headed for 35+ homers this year, an easy career high, and he might only be the tenth best 1st baseman this year for fantasy.  Projections: 43/17/49/.272/4

12. Chris Sale –  If you’re wondering to yourself why Sale is so far behind Scherzer and Kershaw, you’re splitting hairs, or spitting hairs if a cat is reading.  Projections: 9-3/2.54/0.93/122

13. Joey Votto –  Vottomatic, that’s what comes up when you search Votto’s nickname.  No one, I mean no one, calls him this.  No effin’ way.  Vottomatic?  Yeah, that rolls off the tongue.  More like it rolls my eyes.  How about Joey the Vottomator with Vottotron 3030 from the concept album, OBP: Vottofuturist and William Shat-on-her in 2 Girls, 1 Pimp?  Projections: 48/16/47/.327/2

14. Carlos Correa –  I promise this is the last projections where I give Correa steals if he doesn’t even attempt a steal in the 2nd half.  Serious question:  has anyone who stole 20 or more bases in the minors in one season ever not attempted a steal in a major league season when they’re under the age of 23?  I’m gonna go out on a very sturdy limb and say no.  Projections:  45/16/46/.303/4

15. Corey Kluber – I just gave you my Corey Kluber fantasy.  It was written on a frisbee then thrown into a golden retriever’s mouth.  Projections:  9-3/2.89/0.98/111

16. Giancarlo Stanton – *turns to the mirror* Excuse me, charisma, vodka with a spritzer?  *turns to Giancarlo Fathead wall mount, blushes*  Oh, hi, I didn’t know you were awake.  Thanks for staying healthy all 1st half.  Just one more half, boo bear.  Now let’s make you presentable.  *combs wig that’s glued to Giancarlo’s wall mount head*  Projections:  43/19/50/.271/2

17. Charlie Blackmon –  A splash of Chazz Noir has been catnip for fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!).  More so than even the sweet smell of Dorito-orange on your fingers.  Projections:  54/12/40/.308/10

18. Jose Altuve –  Some of these 2nd half rankings will be indicative of next year’s preseason rankings, and some won’t.  This feels like one of those that will be indicative.  The Astros have really put the brakes on their hitters on the basepaths and Altuve’s strikeouts are up and, let’s be honest, a five-foot-zero guy is not likely to hit a ton of homers.  I’m likely underappreciating his batting average, but a 10/15 half guy (hehe) just doesn’t Run the Jewels fast.  Projections:  44/10/42/.319/15

19. George Springer – Pretty much the same boat as Correa, which is a slow boat to seven steals in the South China Sea.  By the by, how about the Astros’ offense?  More like the 1927 Astros.  Projections: 55/15/40/.266/3

20. Daniel Murphy –  Truism about me, I dig my heels in and don’t like to admit defeat until the last possible moment, but Murphy has beat me.  As a wise, punny man once said, “You can’t dig in your heels if you’ve been defeated.”  Projections:  47/13/48/.318/2

21. Jose Abreu –  In the preseason, I was very concerned because I was drafting Abreu everywhere when I didn’t get a 1st baseman in the first few rounds.  Goes to show you, luck plays such a huge factor in this shizz.  If I was in position to draft Freeman in all leagues, I would’ve in a second.  Though, to be honest, if you drafted Freeman and got great stats from him for six weeks then grabbed someone like Smoak or Morrison, you’re doing okay.  Projections:  44/15/46/.291

22. Jean Segura –  Doesn’t Jean Segura sound like an actress from the 50’s?  You can picture him with a B&W picture with the edges of his face blurred, right?  No?  Hmm, maybe it’s me.  Personally, I loved Jean Segura in The Thin Man!  Still no?  Okay, I’ll move on.  Projections:  46/10/30/.302/15

23. Brian Dozier –  Nothing about this ranking makes sense, except that he hit 500 homers in the 2nd half of last year, so it’s a gamble on a guy that could the most valuable player of the 2nd half again.  Projections: 40/16/42/.250/7

24. Dee Gordon –  Either as valuable as a top ten hitter, or less valuable than anyone on this top 100.  Don’t scrunch up your nose, I’ll explain.  If you need steals and they could move you up a few points in the standings, then Gordon can be as valuable as Bryant, but if you don’t need steals in your league, Gordon’s basically runs and average, which you can get for a tenth of the price.  Projections:  45/1/17/.291/28

25. Cody Bellinger –  While writing this post (obvi), I ranked Bellinger as high as nine overall to as low as 70.  I have no idea what to do with him.  He could easily hit 10+ homers each month for the rest of the year, or he could go 0-for-55 and get platooned.  No matter what happens, if his ROS projections hold he’s going to finish his rookie year with 38-41 HRs and 10 steals.  Yeah, he’s gonna be at worst a 3rd rounder next year barring something Doyer loco.  Projections:  38/15/44/.251/5

26. Freddie Freeman – Halp and I discuss the entire top 100 in the latest podcast, but on last week’s fantasy baseball podcast (SEO, snitches!) we discussed some of my thoughts on Freeman’s return.  His injury looks mended, but I’m being a tad cautious with my ranking.  Projections:  41/15/42/.293/4

27. Francisco Lindor –  Everyone in the preseason, “Yo, middle infielder is deep AF, and I’m not misspelling an acronym for astrophysicist, ya feel me?”  Now, “Well, not so much.”  Projections:  44/13/31/.288/7

28. Robinson Cano –  This guy is in that “totally boring, but productive” phase of his career.  Give him a year and it will just be boring.  Projections:  37/14/43/.283/1

29. J.D. Martinez – This post is already long and we’re barely 30% through, so I’m gonna just say Just Dong, and ’bout to call your ass an Uber, I got somewhere to be.  Projections: 39/15/40/.291/1

30. Billy Hamilton – Same dealzzyoh as Gordon.  Projections:  47/1/20/.249/30

31. Stephen Strasburg –  Pitching about the same as he has for the last two years.  Not a potential 2.75 ERA pitcher, but likely a 3.50 ERA one.  The Ks, though, they’re still there, and are real and beautiful.  Projections:  9-2/3.35/1.10/105

32. Yu Darvish – I almost ranked John Lackey here, then I punched myself real good in the face, called myself a horse-toothed jackass, and got back to real rankings and not alternative rankings that are just meant to incite violence in myself.  As I would say in the preseason, there’s a tier difference between Strasburg and Darvish and the guys above them.  Darvish and Strasburg could strike out 10 guys per nine, but they might also have only a 3.50 ERA.  Not bad in today’s day and age, but not as good as the SPs above them.  Projections: 8-3/3.41/1.12/108

33. Jacob deGrom – Okay, fine, put deGrom in with Strasburg and Darvish, but I may never trust Mets pitchers, and not just their relievers with women in my life.  Projections: 7-4/3.45/1.17/104

34. Rougned Odor –  ZiPS projections have Odor’s 2nd half stats at 40/14/40/.257/6.  Yes, we use Steamer here, but I’m trying to be as objective as possible.  Or AP as millennials abbreviate it.  So look at ZiPs’ projections for him and mine for Cano.  That wildly different?  I was too aggressive with Odor in the preseason, I’ll admit that, but if he were hitting .255, which is his career average, and on pace for 33/18, we’d be complaining about him at all?  By the way, look at this tweet. There’s a lot to enjoy there, but someone commented that they weren’t wrong except for the home run part. That was their entire hot take, “the home run part.”  Projections: 36/15/41/.246/8

35. Aroldis Chapman –  Exact same deal as Scherzer, except saves instead of a starter, which, I guess, isn’t the same deal, but close enough.  Meaning, I don’t ever go for a top closer in the preseason, but, if I need saves now, I’ll pay the price in a trade and try to change my fantasy fortunes.  By the way, I pronounce fortune:  four-tune.  I’m snobby, so?  Call me Grey Gatsby.  Projections: 1-1/1.86/0.96/51, 27 saves

36. Craig Kimbrel –  See 1/18th of an inch above or four inches if a girl is reading.  Projections: 2-0/2.07/0.90/44, 26 saves

37. Kenley Jansen – See 2/9ths…Ugh, my ignorance with fractions — fractiorance? (So bad!) — is shining through, isn’t it?  Projections: 2-1/2.17/0.71/43, 23 saves

38. Nelson Cruz – There’s maybe six guys that can hit 25 homers in the 2nd half.  So, as many guys that Antonio Alfonseca can count on one hand.  Cruz is one of those guys.  For those who are counting on Alfonseca’s hand, Cruz is the 2nd pinkie.  Projections:  38/17/43/.276/1

39. Jose Ramirez – As mentioned (I think; I’m writing a lot here), not a lot of rankings here are necessarily indicative of next year, but Ramirez feels like a guy that is going to take a huge jump from this preseason to the next.  One year of his success may have been a fluke; two years, and he’s not doing it for the halibut.   Projections:  45/11/36/.306/10

40. Wil Myers – If he has a 12/11 2nd half, he’s going to have a 28/20 season.  More than respectable on the year.  In the big picture, Myers has some serious causes for concern.  His Ks are so jacked; fly balls are up (literally), ground balls are down (not literally) and he’s chasing outside the strike zone like he’s Rob Deer with cataracts.  Hate to be pessimistic about a 27-year-old, but Myers’ next year could be scary if he doesn’t make changes in the 2nd half.  Projections:  35/12/37/.247/8

41. Anthony Rendon – Not only was Rendon ranked around here in the preseason (for me), but I don’t see him being ranked much higher or lower than here as long as he stays healthy.  He’s a solid middle of the order, middle of a top 100-type player.  Projections:  36/11/39/.303/4

42. Miguel Sano – Could be Alfonseca’s 2nd index finger, but could also hit .215 in the 2nd half.  Projections:  34/16/39/.232/

43. Corey Seager – People off that Corey Seager bandwagon yet and see what I saw in the preseason about him only giving average and occasional power or y’all still lining up?  Projections:  41/11/32/.281/2

44. Elvis Andrus – ‘Member when we all thought Andrus and Alcides were the same player?  We were younger then, and you had more hair!  Projections:  45/6/30/.295/15

45. Adam Duvall – He shells pitchers, so how is his nickname not Shelling Duvall?  I guess that puts the oy in Oyl.  Projections:  38/15/41/.261/3

46. Khris Davis – Alfonseca’s third thumb.  Projections:  36/17/44/.244/2

47. Jake Lamb – I’ve done this long enough to know how shizz is gonna play out.  Here’s how Lamb will play out for 2018:  I’ll rank him in the top 50 overall, and ESPN will rank him around 100, and I’ll be like, “That’s ludicrous,” and Lamb will have a top three 3rd baseman season and everyone will be like, “Grey, your handsomeness is only surpassed by your prescience, and I have no idea what prescience is.”  Here’s the thing, Lamb is a top five 3rd baseman this year.  I have no idea why ESPN will not rank him properly next year and opting for Beltre instead.  It’s what they do.  Projections:  38/13/40/.272/4

48. Marcell Ozuna – Here’s what’s likely going to happen, OZUNA will finish with 35 homers (only 12 more), and you’ll be so happy at the end of the year, but next year, you’re gonna be like, “Grey, handsome face, Fantasy Master Lothario, Snoopy when disguised as Joe Cool, you worried about OZUNA’s 2nd half?”  Projections:  34/12/37/.277/1

49. Zack Greinke – At 33 years old, Greinke’s having his best season of his career on a strictly peripheral basis.  His perfs (do they call them that?  Who is they?  If you replace the W of where, what and when with a T, it answers your question, but what about who?!  Any hoo!) are gorge.  Projections:  7-3/3.29/1.05/92

50. Carlos Martinez – This is weird (not weird).  Starters have been such a shizz show this year that C-Mart hasn’t even been that impressive and he’s easily been a top fifteen starter, and really only lagging in wins.  Projections: 5-3/3.04/1.10/90

51. Carlos Carrasco – Maybe if we all collectively think about how we’ll never get better than a 3.35 ERA season from Carrasco, we’ll get him to have a 2.75 ERA in the 2nd half.  Okay, which one of you is thinking 3.40 ERA?  You’re messing us up!  Projections:  6-4/3.35/1.04/89

52. Chris Archer – Once you remove the Fulmers and Ervins of the world, who I don’t trust, Archer’s right there in the top 15 starters once again.  My professional opinion:  pitching sucks, yo.  Projections:  5-4/3.52/1.19/99

53. Edwin Encarnacion – Here’s what I said the other day, “Not sure if this is a sell high, sell low or just sell.  Maybe that’s the problem.  Edwin has 18 HRs as he hits around .265.  Pretty much what I’d expect for the 2nd half too.  Project him for, say, 16 HRs, .260.  Not terrible, but I think his name value brings a lot more than his actual value.  16 HRs, .260?  That sounds like Logan Morrison’s floor.  Travis Shaw could hit 16 HRs and .260 and not even break a sweat or a sweet if he’s chewing on hard candies.  Mike Moistasskiss hits 16 homers and .260 if he has a bad 2nd half.  Corner men with 16-homer power in a half are in abundance like men in rompers with man buns.  I wouldn’t sell Edwin to be in a reenactment on Forensic Files, but I would explore options.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Projections: 36/16/42/.259

54. Yoenis Cespedes – The good news is Yoenis might come at a discounted rate next year.  The bad news, it will be because he’s been dreadfully yawnstipating so far.  He’s capable of a top 20 overall half, but I’ll be damned if he’s shown any signs.  Projections:  30/11/35/.277/3

55. Dallas Keuchel – He would’ve been top four for (stutterer!) starters in the 2nd half if he weren’t going to miss likely two to (hummana-hummana you) three starts.  I get the sense the Astros are like, “Yo, we got this, no rush, Keetchell..How do you say your name again?” Projections:  6-2/2.65/1.01/71

56. A.J. Pollock – How many Pollocks does it take to hit a home run?  One to hit the ball, and 18 million to carry the stadium towards the batter so the wall moves in.  Projections:  34/6/20/.281/12

57. Josh Donaldson – Well, this is why I was steering away from him in the preseason and why all my backdated concerns about him appear to be not quite as crazy.  What a hideous 1st half he had, and, at 31 years old, I think we’ve seen the last of 1st round Donaldson.  Projections:  36/12/40/.268/2

58. Ryan Braun –  He said of his 2nd half prospects, “I would be healthy, but why bother?”  Damn, nihilist R.B.’s bumming me out.  Projections: 35/12/34/.281/5

59. Lance McCullers – I have concerns.  Okay, first, let me say, for the three fantasy baseballers who don’t know, I love McCullers.  Goes without saying.  The concerns are he could be shut down in September as the Astros clinch their playoff spot.  Other concern is his last start was less than ideal.  Finally, after 40 more innings, we’ll be in uncharted territory for MLB innings in a season.  Projections: 5-2/2.97/1.12/70

60. Luis Severino – Okay, so this is a tier of starters we got here that can best be described as:  Uncharted Territory.   UT, hook ’em long shots.  Projections: 5-3/3.41/1.14/81

61. Robbie Ray – Same boat as McCullers and Severino.  That boat is like a Lamborghini on the water.  Not a high-priced boat, or a boat made by Lamborghini, but an actual Lamborghini you drive into the water and that 15 seconds when you are the bad-assiest person in the entire world, then, when it sinks, you have the sexiest anchor.  Projections: 6-2/3.44/1.24/96

62. Alex Wood – You need alligator blood to trade for Wood.  More so than you might even realize.  Yes, he has a 1.67 ERA in 80 2/3 IP, but he threw only 60 1/3 IP last year, and the Dodgers have 17 starters in their rotation.  Projections:  6-2/2.55/1.06/55

63. James Paxton – Easily capable of putting together a Cy Young-type half.  If he stays healthy for three months.  Okay, so not easily.  Projections:  4-5/3.21/1.17/85

64. Ian Desmond –  Pretty unremarkable 1st half, and I’m not convinced he’s completely healed from his preseason hand injury.  And you wonder why I’m concerned about Freeman, Trea and, legit, anyone with hand and/or wrist injuries.  So, why even rank Desmond?  Coors, yo.  Projections:  34/10/32/.277/10

65. Madison Bumgarner – He says he’ll be back on July 15th.  On July 15th, the celebrations over Bumgarner’s return will commence.  If he’s good, his owners celebrate for the good.  If he’s bad, everyone else celebrates.  Either way, someone’s celebrating.  Projections:  4-3/3.35/1.10/77

66. Starling Marte – I call this area of the top 100, “Shrug, who DFK?  I certainly DFK.”  By the way, Google says DFK is Deep French Kissing.  Um, yeah, not using it to mean that.  Projections:  30/6/28/.279/14

67. Miguel Cabrera – So, I might be ranking Miggy a bit lower than is realistic, but I want to emphasis how low I am on him.  Maybe he can rebound next year, but this year feels totally lost, and he looks like half the man of Justin Smoak.  Just Smo?  Projections:  34/14/37/.278

68. Justin Turner – He has the highest OBP at the break since Barry Bonds.  Funnily enough (not funnily enough), I went to look at the last thirty years of OBP, and, well, steroids not only aided power, but the OBPs of some of those guys was bizzonkers.  Jason Giambi hit 43 homers with a .476 OBP.  Yeah, nothing to see there.  Bud Selig’s cover up of PEDs is almost as glaring as Our Manfred covering up the Super Ball they’re using now.  Projections:  37/11/39/.309/1

69. Andrew McCutchen – I’ll admit to defeat on my McCutchen schmohawk.  The bounce back looks legit.  With that said (Grey’s totally not admitting defeat), I would not be shocked to see McCutchen hurt his knee and have a shortened 2nd half or just falter.  (Nice admitting of being wrong!)  Projections:  37/13/39/.272/4

70. Andrew Benintendi – I call this song, “Kill Grey A.”  You egged Benintendi on, knowin’ all along, all you had to say was you was wrong.  You almost went Eric Karabell.  Let the baddest hitter in the world go to hell.  I don’t even know what else to say, except go to hell, never go Eric Karabell.  Projections:  32/10/38/.284/6

71. Xander Bogaerts – No, I’m not just naming Red Sox players now.  How about Jackie Bradley Jr.?!   Okay, no, I’m not.  Bogaerts is having a season where if he were in bad lineup, Jed Lowrie would pass him in fantasy value.  Projections:  41/8/39/.312/7

72. Chris Owings – Prolly went wrong with my ranking of Owings, but here’s how I came to this:  Bogaerts is so much worse than Owings, but I have to rank Bogaerts so I have to rank Owings.  Is that faulty logic?  It’s like when you don’t replace the toilet paper so the next person will replace it, then you’re the next person.  Or does this just mean I have to use Cougs’ bathroom more?  Now I’m simply thinking aloud Grey problems.  Projections:  34/10/37/.281/9

73. Mike Moustakas – If Moistasskiss meets my modest projections, he will have 40 homers on the year.  Nah, MLB isn’t using Super Balls.  Not at all!  Projections:  31/15/38/.262

74. Kyle Seager – “Ma!  I made Grey’s top 100 for the 2nd half!  Ma?  Why are you cleaning Corey’s room, he’s never moving back in!”  Projections:  31/14/39/.269/1

75. Ryan Zimmerman – Hold up, he hit around .295 in the two months of May and June, which is close to his career average, and he did not hit .400+ again like April?  We’re not waiting for him to fall back to earth, he’s already there.  Projections:  35/12/40/.282/1

76. Adrian Beltre – See Justin Upton for more thoughts on Beltre.  Projections:  37/12/35/.289/1

77. Justin Upton – You heard of a five-alarm fire?  Well, this is a five-player snooze alarm that started at Seager and ends at Kemp.  Wait, you need Beltre thoughts?  Okay, check next blurb.  Projections:  37/14/39/.260/4

78. Matt Kemp – Oh, c’mon, you know what to expect from this grouping of players.  Beltre thoughts!  Projections:  33/12/37/.272/1

79. Ender Inciarte – Like Anna Nicole or grandma, we all love the long balls.  I’m right there with you.  However, when a guy gives five categories, it’s more valuable than you realize.  Let’s break down a Player Rater scenario.  Ender gets $6.7 in runs that’s the same as Salvador Perez’s $6.7 in HRs.  Sal Perez has the most homers for any catchers.  Ender’s runs also give as much fantasy value as Freeman’s average.  His runs also give as much value as Smoak’s RBIs.  Not sexy, but Ender’s runs are making a difference.  Projections: 43/5/28/.297/10

80. Christian Yelich – Not having a terrible year like I would’ve hoped after panning him in the preseason, but he’s also been nowhere near as valuable as where he was drafted in the preseason.  Projections:  39/9/31/.277/7

81. Gary Sanchez – There’s no truth that his full name is Gary, Indiana Is Dirty Sanchez.  What is true?  Doode gets crazy hot and cold.  He could hit 18 HRs in the 2nd half, or five and dropped again in the lineup.  Projections:  31/15/35/.285/2

82. Jonathan Schoop – I can hear it already, “Adam Jones didn’t make your top 100?  Hmm, can I drop him?”  As mentioned previously on the aforementioned tip, Schoop has been easily the most valuable Orioles hitter this year, and has been hitting third.  I still like Machado and Trumbo, but Jones?  You can’t find a 10-homer, .275 outfielder?  Projections: 36/13/38/.274/1

83. Justin Smoak – This is strictly a gut call for the next four guys.  I think we’ve gotten the best we’re ever going to see from them, but they deserve to be ranked.  Could, say, Hanley be far better than any of these guys?  For sure.  Projections:  33/14/38/.259

84. Logan Morrison –  “Can you give me this in 140 characters?”  That’s LoMo reading this top 100.  Projections:  30/13/36/.254/2

85. Travis Shaw – Half a season rankings are impossible.  Nah, I don’t say that to take pressure off these rankings.  Cust kayin’.  Baseball is a game where players find their level across 162 games.  For a few months, even Domonic Brown looked good.  Across a season, Shaw might revert to who he is, but across a half season, he could be great, terrible or somewhere in between.  Projections:  32/12/35/.258/3

86. Eric Thames – Depends what Thames you believe, April Thames, or the Thames that we saw from May through July when pitchers obviously figured out his weaknesses and exploited him.  Wait, why would we believe April Thames?  Projections:  34/14/38/.238/2

87. Mark Reynolds – Mini Donkey struggled so far in July, and maybe he’s turned into a pumpkin already, but it takes quite the man to look bad in Coors in the summer.  The guy at the Carlos ‘n Charlie’s who falls into the kiddie pool filled with cheap beer comes to mind as looking bad in Coors.  Projections:  28/14/32/.251/2

88. Mark Trumbo – Like the church of Stevie Wonder, this ranking is blind faith.  Projections:  34/15/37/.258/1

89. Evan Longoria – If he has a poor 2nd half, it will now be two terrible years, one great year, then two terrible years again, lining him up for a great 2018.  Someone buy him a calendar, his Saberhagenmetrics is way off!  Projections:  33/14/36/.259/1

90. Corey Dickerson – Fun fact!  His nickname is the same as a Siamese twins’ nickname:  Co-Dick. Projections:  41/13/34/.277/2

91. Lorenzo Cain – Whether you call him Lo-Cain, Cain…Sugar! or the Devil’s Dandruff, you sound like Keith Hernandez in the mid-80’s.  Projections:  38/9/32/.284/12

92. Jon Lester – Can you tell I struggled to find a few more starters to squeeze into the top 100?  Lester has a few more bad starts in July and I can see him being droppable in August.   “What?  You didn’t want to rank Godley?”  That’s me being sarcastic with myself.  Projections:  7-2/3.61/1.20/88

93. Jonathan Villar – Can I be real with you?  Like really real.  Yes?  Good.  The end of the top 100 could all be droppable in shallow leagues if they don’t look great within two weeks of the rankings.  Villar does not deserve to be ranked.  I realize that; I’m not entirely stupid (like 49% stupid, but I might’ve flip-flopped the four and the nine there).  Villar could have a top 10 2nd half though, and you can’t say that about a lot of guys.  Projections:  36/8/26/.252/18

94. Trevor Story – See what I said for Villar and put it in Coors and subtract a week from two weeks and what do you have?  An Amtrak train doing 780 MPH?  Hmm, math’s off there, but Story’s 2nd half could erase his 1st half.  Likely?  I did not say that.  If I thought it was likely, I would’ve ranked him up with Odor.  I think it’s as likely Story is demoted to a bench role with Valaika no longer just being the sound Pac-Man makes, but becoming an everyday player.  Projections:  27/13/34/.261/5

95. Gio Gonzalez – The struggle was real to find decent starters for this top 100.  That struggle is not even first world problems.  Let’s be honest, people in most first world countries do not have this problem.  Projections:  7-3/3.69/1.25/80

96. Marcus Stroman – Love this guy’s slider, don’t especially like his peripherals.  Don’t especially like more starters.  Don’t especially like writing clear sentences either.  The preceding was to say there’s not many starters to like, so Stroman’s in the cream of the crap.  Projections:  6-4/3.55/1.25/72

97. Johnny Cueto – I’m legit ranking starters I don’t even like.  I guess I could’ve ranked someone like J.A. Happ, but what does it say about Happ that I dropped him last week?  Hint: it’s not good.  Projections:  5-3/3.64/1.21/82

98. Jimmy Nelson – Hahahahahahahahahahahaha– Breathe, Grey, breathe!  Jesus Christ Ramirez!  We’re losing him!  Jimmy Nelson?!  In the top 100?!  There’s no starters to put in the top 100.  I looked at about 40 starters to put here.  Nelson was top 100 in the 1st half, and his peripherals says he should be even better, so, yeah, state of pitching is about as good as Lohan’s mental state.  In reality, um, in fantasy reality, there’s only about 40% of the season left and anyone from Rich Hill, Jose Berrios, Brandon McCarthy or a whole array of pitchers can have top 100 value.  Projections:  5-5/3.47/1.24/82

99. Gregory Polanco – With this guy, it’s the polar opposite this year from where we were last year, i.e., last year Polanco was hot, and this year it’s like we were dropped off at the North Pole and Mrs. Claus has snuck into our room, mistaking us for Santa and kisses us with succinylcholine on her lips after taking the antidote.  Like polar, polar opposite.  Though, he is young and talented, so you never know.  He did have a decent final few games.  Projections:  30/8/33/.278/8

100. Domingo Santana – Will this list ever end?  Piscotty doesn’t know!  By the way, you wanna kill three hours during the break?  All of the rest of the season hitter projections and pitcher projections.  Those are via Steamer, so they don’t match mine, but I did consult them like you consult a diner placemat to figure out where Wyoming is.  Projections:  35/11/31/.267/5

101. Whoever Helps You Win – Don’t get tied to projections and rankings and “I drafted this guy in the 8th round this year.”  Yeah, we all hate Addison Russell, not just you.  The worst thing you can do at this stage is hold onto players just because of what they could do vs. what they are doing.  What they are doing is what wins championships and that’s what excites the ladies in your daydreams and your daydreams are real to you.

 
  1. SteveNZ says:
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    Not enough of my guys here. Bad list. Sad!

    • SteveNZ says:
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      @SteveNZ: On a serious note, I’m cruising along nicely in second in the ol’ h2h. Would you consider trading my Turner (plus Story if necessary) for Machado?

      Or is that just laughable on my part?

      • Packers says:
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        @SteveNZ: Which Turner?

        • SteveNZ says:
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          @Packers: Justin.

      • Bob says:
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        @SteveNZ: On a more seriously-serious note, can we instead just take a moment to appreciate how brilliant player #101’s signoff was: “The worst thing you can do at this stage is hold onto players just because of what they could do vs. what they are doing. What they are doing is what wins championships and that’s what excites the ladies in your daydreams and your daydreams are real to you.” UGHH!!!! So good!!!! safsakfjasflkasj

      • Bob says:
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        @SteveNZ: But less seriously, put an “X” thru T. Story’s name, he’s “irrelevant.” If “Machado Man” wants Story, he gets Story; or better yet, make him take Story “ughhhhh you’re mean.”

      • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
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        @SteveNZ: Sure if he’ll take it

      • SteveNZ says:
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        @Grey: Miggy maybe?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Maybe

          • SteveNZ says:
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            @Grey: Eh, he has EE and Pujols already. Maybe me and Manny aren’t meant to be.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Sad trombone

  2. Ante GALIC says:
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    Grey!!!

    Great job, man!

    a. This is the Leviathan of all monster top 2nd half 100 picks! Like it would be Godzilla and King Kong combined.

    b. Got to go to that camp whose name i can’t pronounce where I got sick last time. Say a prayer for me.

    c. John Rambo Quote of the day for July 11

    Murdock: ‘No, not just mine, Trautman. We’re talking about a nation’s. It was your hero’s fault. If your warrior had done what the hell he was supposed to, we’d be out of this clean and simple. He was just supposed to take pictures.’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘If they showed something, they would have been lost, wouldn’t they?’

    Murdock: ‘I don’t think you understand what this is all about.’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘The same as it always is – money. In ’72, we were supposed to pay the Cong 4.5 billion in reparations. We reneged. They kept the POWs. And you’re doing the same thing all over again.’

    Murdock: ‘What would you do? Pay blackmail money to ransom our own men and finance the war effort against our allies? What if some burnout POW shows up on the 6:00 news? What do you wanna do, start the war over? Bomb Hanoi? Want everybody screaming for invasion? Do you think somebody on the floor of the senate will ask for billions of dollars for some forgotten ghosts?’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘Men, goddamn it! Who fought for their country.’

    Murdock: ‘That’s enough! Trautman, I’m gonna forget this conversation ever took place.’

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ante GALIC: A. Sounds like a job for OZUNA B. Be safe! C. Nice!

      • Ante Galic says:
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        @Grey: Grey!

        Thanks, man!
        a. Made it back safe and sound! Thanks for the prayer that was your top 100!

        b. The screenshot from fangraphs is so unreal! It’s like medicine for razzball nation.

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          A. Glad to hear! B. Ha

  3. JakeTPE says:
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    Rankings in July!? Thank you Grey! I will savor these like a fine Pinot noir.

    You (not Yu) know what’s better than the first half of 2017 Fantasy Baseball? The second half of 2017 Fantasy Baseball. Hopefully! Paxton and McCullers, Pollock, Bryant… I’m looking at you! No, Schoop, you good. Just keep hitting.

    Enjoy the ASB, Razzball!

    • JakeTPE says:
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      @JakeTPE: Sorry, Grey, quick Q: how different would Schelber’s (Schebler’s… Schlebler’s….) projections look from say, Kris Davis, whom you have 46th? Are you expecting a big drop off? He’s like Andrew Jones? Cheers.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @JakeTPE: I don’t buy Schebler, maybe 10 HRs, 2 SBs, .250 for 2nd half

        • JakeTPE says:
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          @Grey: Thanks for that. Yeah, there was a really lean stretch there before Coors for Schebler. I snapped up Polanco which should at least help in SBs. Onwards and upwards!

  4. Ryan Wheeler says:
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    my biggest question is which pitchers do I stick with and which do I drop for some free agents that have been solid…. My current borderline droppable pitchers are:

    E. Santana
    J. Berrios
    L. Lynn
    S. Manaea

    And these free agents are available:

    Straily
    Godley
    Clevinger

    Should I grab any or all of those three and which pitchers should I drop if I do?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ryan Wheeler: Meh, Straily over Lynn if former’s matchups are better

    • mthom42 says:
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      Great list Grey! Thanks! Thought Bellinger and Judge would be closer if not Bellinger ahead. Was Taillon close? Also thought he’d make it.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Taillon was close, I almost put him in instead of Cueto

  5. Al Koholic says:
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    Awesome list especially number 100. So true

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Al Koholic: Wait, you changed your name? It’s now Al?

      • AL KOHOLIC says:
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        @Grey: rough nights and mornings lead to accidental mispelling

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha

  6. Don says:
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    So I’m sitting in 5th in my main roto league. Weakest categories are BA, runs, SBs. I made two separate deals; acquired Freeman for Carlos Martinez then sent Sano away for Severino. I like the two players I got for the two players I sent away, but I briefly panicked when I got a little ways past Martinez and still hadn’t seen Severino. You think that’s a pretty fair swap?

    Now if I could just come up aces on a SAGNOF gamble. At this point, I just want a guy who will get consistent PT as I let Maybin and Deshields stay on waivers too long and instead picked up guys like Barreto and Eric Young. Any suggestions?

    • Cram It says:
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      @Don: Severino is 5 pitchers behind C-Mart here. I think you can relax.