Please see our player page for Carlos Martinez to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

*takes long inhale* You smell that? It’s the glorious smell of actual baseball trades mixed with the mold in your mother’s basement! So, the Twins have more irons in the fire than Tigers Woods’s chimney. Since the Sonny Gray deal was self-contained, let’s start there. Sonny Gray was traded to the Twins. Reds have been rebuilding since their last playoff series win in 1995. “This mean Greene?” asks me and Dr. Seuss. First off (after that negging of the Reds), good on the Twins. Gray (him not me) was at the bottom of his perceived value last year after an unlucky year, and, well, you can read about all that at the top 60 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. All that was standing between him and an uptick in value was less homers allowed, so what better place than the Hubert H. Homerfree Dome? Kinda bummed I haven’t drafted Gray in multiple leagues already. Where’s the self-love?! As for Hunter Greene, moved him up in top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball, and updated the pitchers pairings tool. Didn’t change his projections because still don’t know how many innings he can throw, but he’s in good shape to see the rotation in the landmark case of sooner vs. later.

Then the busy Twins, sent Mitch Garver to the Rangers for Isiah Kiner-Falefa, more on him in a few. The Rangers just need to make deals, whether they’re good for them or not. During the lockout, the Rangers were pulling on their collar, sweating, screaming, “I need to make a deal, man!” They’re like Pookie from New Jack City and their crack pipe is MLB roster moves. Someone needs an intervention, and that someone’s name is Texas Rangers. Not to mention, I understand Israeli Diner-Falafel is less than desirable for fantasy, but he actually made sense on the Rangers. Have the Rangers heard they lost Josh Jung? The Rangers are like a team that doesn’t draft a 3rd baseman for 15 rounds, saying, “3rd base is deep.” At least if the Rangers were going to send away Israeli Diner-Falafel, they could’ve got back Elijah Colavito-Tabouli. With the trade for Mitch Garver, the Rangers realized Jonah Heim was Superbad. Jonah Heim was removed from the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings — Hey, Jonah Heim, Don’t Look Up your name in the rankings! The top 20 catchers for 2022 fantasy baseball was updated for Mitch Garver (due to a better lineup and worse catcher behind him). That rankings post was also briefly updated for Ryan Jeffers, but the Twins weren’t done.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You ever scroll down an online recipe for 20 minutes to the actual recipe, and your index finger starts getting hot from the friction? Kyle Schwarber (2-for-4, 4 RBIs, 20th and 21st homer) is hotter than that. You ever get in your car, that’s been parked in the sun, touch the black steering wheel and see smoke rise from your palms? Schwarber’s hotter than that. You ever cut a habanero and touch your junk? Schwarber’s about that hot. So, Kyle Schwarber has eight homers in a five-game span. The only player with more was Shawn Green at nine homers in 2002. Cue a Jewish person saying Shawn Green was Jewish. Shawn Green also had the help of a four-homer game in that streak. And prolly steroids. And, yes, his yarmulke. Home runs since June 12th: Miami Marlins with 12; Schwarber with 12. Kyle Schwarber is the first player in MLB history to hit 11 homers from the leadoff spot in 13 games. Schwarber only had nine homers through the first two months of the season. I will now cackle for 45 minutes and be right back to you. WHAT THE WHAT. Hey, good for you if you have Schwarber, I do in a couple of leagues. Will it continue? What, multi-homers every game? Haha, c’mon, bros and five sisters. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Washington Nationals fifth starter slash long reliever slash wait, really, that guy?–Erick Fedde was awesome Friday night as he limited the New York Mets to just two hits (seven base runners) in seven innings pitched. He struck out seven and had 31 called strikes plus whiffs, which baseball nerds tell me is pretty good. I’m Fedde up with these crazy pitching lines, ya’ll! I thought the bans were supposed to solve this, and I don’t know what to make of this guy. Erick hasn’t given up a run since a start at home versus the Phillies May 11. Since then, he’s pitched 20 scoreless innings with 17/6 K/BB. The start was Fedde’s third QS of the year and he’s lowered his ERA to a respectable 3.33 during the scoreless stretch! Also, I need a hip hop historian to tell me if I used “Wap” right here. Fetty Wap is a rapper and that’s different than Cardi B’s WAP, right? Back to Erick! More impressive than Fedde’s streak, Washington has allowed just seven runs in the past eight games, and need I remind you Max and Stras are hurt? Pretty neat until you notice that they allowed 42 runs in the eight games before that. Regardless! Someone needs to check these baseballs for spider tack! Da sticky stuff. For real though, it was admittedly a slowish fantasy day, and I didn’t want to write about Adam Duvall again, so Fedde gets the lede! His first in ever! Enjoy it, Erick, because this is likely to be a one time deal. As the aforementioned Max and Stras are out, Erick has gotten an extended look in the rotation and so far so good. He’s had some favorable matchups this month so I wouldn’t rush out to grab him, but he could be a worthwhile streamer in the right matchups. However, and I’m being 100% candid here and this could be the ethanol talking, he could pitch another 20 scoreless innings and Fedde would still scare the heck out of me. It’s got to be the baseballs, right!?

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Robbie Ray is using Spider Tack, but not to make the baseball sticky. He’s using it to apply his pants. Robbie Ray’s pants are so young, they haven’t even been born yet. Robbie Ray doesn’t dress in the morning, he paints. Don’t know what I’m talking about?

So, Robbie Ray had another great outing last night — 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 3.36. Amazing that Robbie Ray fixed himself by just throwing strikes, but that’s exactly what has happened. Feels way longer than most guys who suddenly become strike throwers — Max Scherzer and Randy Johnson come to mind. Randy was obviously much closer to Ray’s transformation; Max’s command wasn’t that bad. Good that someone finally got through to Ray, because his stuff was so good all he needed to do was pump it into the zone and let hitters try to hit it. They haven’t, and Ray’s extraneous balls have disappeared. Um, ya know what I mean. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We used to have a glossary term for when one of your hitters hits a home run off one of your pitchers:  “f***ing your stepsister.” We removed it I believe because it was too vulgar, but we have a shirt in our Razzball store that reads, “Fantasy Baseball: Something To Do Between Masturbation Sessions,” so too vulgar feels like it left the station a while ago. Any hoo! I don’t have a stepsister, but yesterday we were grinding, baby! After dinner, I was like, “Excuse me, my much older cougar wife,” as I dabbed my face with a wet nap, “I need to check to see how Carlos Martinez is doing. What’s that? He sucks? Sure, Cougs, but someone’s gotta suck in this marriage and it ain’t me or you.” Haha, we laughed, then I added, “How bad could he possibly suck?” That was when my world began to crumble, while also putting the moves on my nonexistent stepsister, because Cody Bellinger (2-for-4, 2 runs, 6 RBIs and his 1st homer) knocked in 6 runs in the 1st inning before I could put my teeth back in my mouth. I knocked them out when I saw Carlos Martinez’s line (2/3 IP, 10 ER, ERA at 5.83). Well, I’m glad Cody Bellinger is back and producing, I only wish it didn’t involve step-siblings. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Tampa Bay Rays got the baseball world buzzing Friday afternoon when they shipped former top prospect Willy Adames to the Milwaukee Brewers along with RHP Trevor Richards for a couple middle relievers I’ve never heard of, Drew Rasmussen and J.P. Feyereisen. I’m partly lying for the laughs, I am aware of Feyereisen, he’s been solid (3.26 ERA, 1.09 WHIP and 20/11 K/BB), and if there’s one thing we all know Kevin Cash needs, it’s more weapons out of the bullpen. But I’ve already spent WAY too much time covering these relievers, and I can assure you they are not the reason this trade sent beisbol twitter into a frenzy. The trade of Adames (.197/.254/.371, 5 HR, 15 RBI) opens up a spot for a new starting shortstop in St. P and the Rays have a bit of a premium at the position including two highly-touted mega-uber super-prospects, Vidal Brujan and Wander Franco, the latter being the consensus top prospect in all of baseball. Grey told you to BUY Vidal this weekend, and that advice was pre-trade, mind you! Clearly, Grey is a witch, but it remains to be seen if it’s of the sexy “Scarlet” variety. Vidal Brujan has 40-steal speed which, *Pro Tip* can help your fantasy team, but Wander is the name the Tampa fans (all 300 of them) are clamoring for. Enter the guy she told you not to worry about, Taylor Walls, who despite our deepest desires, is in fact the infielder that the Rays chose to call up this weekend to replace Adames. *Audible Sigh* No need to sigh so loudly just yet, frand, Walls has got his balls to it and he was slashing .327/.468/.490 with two homers, 10 RBI and two steals before the call up. Manager Cash suggested Walls will see plenty of time at shortstop along with Joey Wendle and could be worth a look for that speed alone, at least until one of the younger, sexier prospects arrives. Taylor had 10 homers and 28 steals between A/AA in 2019–and that is not nothing! Regardless, here’s hoping Brandon Lowe (2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 HR (9), 3 RBI) is next on the trading block. The Rays are so stacked at middle infielder maybe I’m delusional if I think I’m seeing Wander before August. But perhaps an injury? That would do it! What light through Wander a hamate bone breaks? If only they had the Mets training staff. Let’s make it happen!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Explain to me how you had to draft a top ten starter and Freddy Peralta (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.77) wasn’t going to be good enough. Explain it to me like I’m a five-year-old. A well-read five-year-old, of course. Like I’ve read some of the classics, like that caterpillar turning into the butterfly book and the Berenstain Bears (eat that, Mandela Effect!). Explain how a guy with a 14+ K/9 and 2.92 FIP isn’t exactly what you want in every league and is worse than who? Who’s he worse than?! I’m all charged up because I ate some candy. I’ll calm down by the third blurb of the post. Explain to me how Freddy Peralta with an .130 xBA on all pitches, which is the top 1% in the league, and a top 5% in the league xSLG, and a top 3% strikeout rate in the league is not an ace? Explain how an expected ERA of 2.21 isn’t an ace. I’ll wait! (After the third blurb, I’m still running on sugar.) Explain how a guy with a .115 xBA on his fastball isn’t an ace. Explain it! Okay, I’m not even going to make it to the third blurb, I need a nap. Freddy Peralta is an ace, aside from his walks. If he can lower his walk rate, he’s a top five starter. Right now, he’s roughly a top 15 starter. Get on board or explain to me why not! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s up, everydegenerate? I believe that’s the proper pronoun for DFS players, right? We’ve got a full slate of baseball on this beautiful Saturday, to which I’ll be able to watch maybe thirty minutes of baseball thanks to all the blackouts and lack of streaming options on YouTube TV. Whatever MLB wants me to watch is what I’ll report to you! On the plus side, it gives me more time to look at box scores and deep analytics. Up on the downside, Soundgarden. [waits for 2 people to get that joke]. Let’s jump in and see some options for your DFS slate today! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

First, allow me to share a story, uh, shared by frequent commenter, Travis Hafner. The Pronk One:

So, do we think Harrison Bader is into Pikachu or Mankey? Polyps? More like Poliwag or Poliwhirl! “Do you mind if I call you Jigglypuff?” That’s Harrison Bader talking to Yadier Molina. Harrison Bader looks at a fruit basket and is like, “Does anyone want this Flapple or can I have it?” Is this all gibberish or am I actually saying real words or am I reading aloud while I edit a Pokemonpedia? Who’s to say! In that fantastic story from Travis Hafner that I want to make all about Pokemon is a little tidbit about how Bader had polyps in his nose which hurt his equilibrium and his hitting. Reminds me of the time I had collagen sucked out of my face because my card was declined and now they say I got po’ lips. Sad for me, but positive for Bader, because he had surgery and it’s fixed. That could legitimately help him take his game to the next level. He’s been hitting this week, and I would absolutely grab him. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Kris Bryant (3-for-5, 3 RBIs, and his 8th and 9th homer) pulled a fast one on us. A switcheroo not seen since the 1987 sitcom, Switcheroo. Singing theme song, “He thought being a kid was tough, and the dad did too…Then a witch came along and did a switcheroo…Now the dad goes to school and the son has sex with the mom…Whatcha gonna do it’s a Switcheroo!” Kris Bryant’s switcheroo was pretending to be a washed-up baseball player, and he did a switcheroo with his former MVP self. Classic hijinks ensue, like the scene where fantasy baseballers mentally replace Kris Bryant with the schmohawk they drafted instead around 120th overall. Singing, “I thought drafting Kris Bryant would be tough, so I instead took Didi Gregorius, and now there’s no way I will be victorious…Switcheroo!” Classic fun TV theme song there. There were five bajillion home runs in just this game yesterday, so let’s get to it…Humming, “…so I instead took Didi Gregarious, and now there’s no way I will be victorious…Switcheroo!” Sorry, it’s so catchy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There is a sense of validation when you go and look at the roster %’s for players who have been previously mentioned in the series.  Unfortunately, there is also a sense of dread when you find out that a certain recommendation of Austin Gomber has led to a new term.  Being “Gomber-ed”.  Remember tho, we are still a mere 18% of the way through the season, and there will be plenty of good and bad decisions ahead.  This week incorporates a few more inter-league games, and will set the path for future weeks in which a H2H matchup can be in your favor if preparation is taken.  Or if I keep getting Gomber-ed, more like Preparation H.  

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dinelson Lamet went 2 IP, 0 ER, 4 Ks as he was activated from the IL, and left with forearm tightness as he heads back to the IL. Last time I wrote about him, I wrote, “Will make season debut today or tomorrow, which puts him on pace for Tommy John surgery on May 12th, give or take three days.” And that’s me predicting the woefully obvious! I might’ve overestimated how long he’d stay healthy. The Padres should trade their trainers back to the Mets. Lamet could already be six months into his Tommy John rehab. Now he’s on pace for throwing a game when, August 2022? Could’ve been April 2022 if they would’ve reacted promptly. There’s no excuse. Sorry, if they won’t be the grownups, I will! Send him for surgery and bring up MacKenzie Gore! No one wants Dr. James Andrews to purchase a hot tub that fits inside his other hot tub like he’s got the Inception of hot tubs designed by Xzibit, but Lamet’s surgery needs to happen! *Grey angrily takes a bite out of laptop, sparks fly* Let’s go! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?