Oblique? More like nooooooblique! Seems like it is a mild one so he has that going for Jonathan Schoop, 2B, (strained oblique). Which is goodblique. Orioles are hoping for a minimum stay, but I think it’ll be similar to Christian Yelich where they hold him out for 15-20 days instead of just the minimum 10. Stash or Trash: Stash. Fill In: Howie Kendrick (14.5%.) Nobody wants to play Howie Kendrick — we all just somehow end up with him on our team at some point throughout the year when our players get hurt. (Which always coincides with that two game a month hot streak Kendrick always has.) The conversation we usually have with ourselves when it comes time to add Kendrick typically ends with “I guess I’ll grab Howie Kendrick to replace ____” Here’s the same old song and dance you hear about Kendrick every year: he’s hit safely in every game he’s played this season except one. He’ll accidentally hit 1-2 HRs right before you pick him up, but then won’t hit 1-2 more until right after you drop him two weeks later. Howie-ver, he won’t hurt your AVG/OBP and could provide a HR and a nice handful of runs in the Nats lineup until Schoop comes back. Then you can pass him back to the waivers until someone else needs him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Preston Tucker is on pace for 32 home runs, 129 runs batted in and a .278 batting average. I realize that the whole “on pace” argument three weeks into the season holds about as much water as a bottle with a hole in the bottom of it, but the point is that he is off to a very good start. Unexpected? I think so. After spending all of 2017 in AAA fixing flat tires for the Astros, he was traded to the Braves in the offseason where he would hopefully have the opportunity to play in the Majors. Ok, maybe he didn’t fix any flats, but he did hit 24 home runs in 569 plate appearances. Perhaps the Astros felt they were one Tucker over the limit considering they also had Preston’s younger brother Kyle in the organization. Kyle also happens to be their top hitting prospect. When the front office gave him the news I hope he said “Tucker out” as he exited the meeting.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Boy, this Ohtani is all anybody’s ever talking about. I’m so sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that Ohtani is. I was so tempted to put Shohei Ohtani on this list. So tempted! Unfortunately he only has 30 at-bats compared to the league leader, his teammate, Albert Pujols’s 67. That’s too small of a sample size for me to overreact and 3-4 batting games per week can leave you in a hole. It is fun to see that he has a 0% soft contact rate though. But that Ohtani is some kind of something, huh?

This winter weather is messing with a lot of players. At the bottom of my top 100 you’ll see a list of hitters who shoulda, coulda, woulda been in the top 100 if they were healthy. I think most of them will return and find themselves back on the top 100 list, but for now, due to their missed games and health uncertainty — they get their own list.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This preseason Gregory Polanco was a Capri Sun.  Yes, the pouch drink that you need to stab 17 times to get the straw in.  Crazy, right?  What’s crazier is I have an explanation!  Ready?  Here we go, readers!  There is something just completely gross about liquids in a pouch.  Put some delicious nacho cheese in a ziplock bag.  You do not want to eat that anymore.  Seriously, cut the corner and squeeze it into your mouth.  So nasty!  An IV bag?  Yeah, that’s appetizing.  Why not grab a colostomy bag and cut out the middle man?  Bagged liquids are gross.  However — again with some stank! — HOWEVER, Capri Sun is surprisingly good.  Okay, u-turn to Polanco.  This preseason the Pirates looked like a mess.  No one really wanted any of them.  Marte had a suspension last year, but even he was kind of, “Well, he’s ranked here, so I guess I’ll take him.”  Polanco, though?  You didn’t even want him around pick 150 overall!  It was a “Hmm…Take a boring MI or Polanco” pick.  And a lot of you took Ian Kinsler instead!  Yesterday, Gregory Polanco went 2-for-5 with two more homers, and is now up to 5 homers, and, as Anime Grey said in the first Buy, Sell, Hold video, Polanco is still a buy.  Polanco is orange-flavored water in a silver pouch, the ultimate Capri Sun.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Franchy Cordero went 1-for-4 with his first homer as he was called up and hit leadoff.  Franchy!  Franchy!  Franchy!  Holy almond tart, no Franchy pan for me!  I won’t pan Franchy’s tools, I won’t suffer any fools, I want Franchy, man, pardon my drools.  Franchy is the kind of player you watch and you’re like, “Can I own him in every league on the basis of his sprint speed?”  By the way, Franchy has crazy sprint speed yet wasn’t able to make it out there for the brawl — hand on chin emoji.  Franchy seems like the kind of guy that will be better in fantasy than in real life.  Think about the outfield version of Tim Anderson.  I grabbed him in a few leagues to see what happens.  Remember, Franchy Cordero marries the best of French and Ranch dressing which is, um, I dunno, do I look like a senior citizen or a sorority girl?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The American League West. Home to the defending World Series Champion Houston Astros. Home to the best player in baseball. Is that Mike Trout or Shohei Ohtani? Home to the team that has a need for speed, as the Seattle Mariners acquired Dee Gordon. Can some of that speed and “other stuff” be transferred to the arm of Felix Hernandez? Home to the only team that has had a Bush own the team, pitch for the team, and had, not one, but two POTUS’s. Or is it POTI? Home to the team with the second-lowest payroll in all of baseball. The Oakland Athletics are at $50.7 million for the 2018 season, while the Boston Red Sox have a $229.7 million payroll for the upcoming season. Ladies and gentlemen, the American League West.

The 2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open! Free to join with prizes! All the exclamation points!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Draft This: Marcus Semien, OAK | Not That: Elvis Andrus, TEX

I’m trying to see if even the hate I’m about to receive is bigger in Texas. Let me get this one out of the way first that should be obvious to everyone — if you think Elvis Andrus is hitting 20 HR in a season again you are a fool on a fool’s journey. In his previous 8 major league season he averaged 4.375 HRs. His career HR/FB rate going into 2017 was 5.1%. He blew that away with an 11.6% mark in 2017. Marcus Semien on the other hand has a 27 HR season already under his belt in 2016 and would’ve reached 20 HR again in 2017 if it wasn’t for missing 81 games with a broken wrist at the beginning of the season. Wrist injuries normally should make you nervous, but Semien returned in July and is now a full year removed from the injury. Semien has legit 20+ HR power after hitting over 20 in three of his four seasons before 2017.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sometimes you write a fantasy baseball overrated post and think, “Grey, you’re like Coolio but instead of Medusa braids, you got brains and such.”  Other times, you think, “You’re a Foolio who can’t even think of something to go with brains.  ‘And such?’  How about ‘dumb much?'”  With this Elvis Andrus overrated post, I legit don’t know if I’m being smart or stupid.  It feels smart, but maybe it’s a blindspot and I’m just being dumb.  It’s definitely not reassuring that I don’t know if I’m being smart or stupid by calling Elvis Andrus overrated.  Jerry Lee Lewis would definitely think it was smart, and might add in Elvis was also bloated.  “That Memphis porker grabbed my spotlight with his peanut butter-stained fingers and loosey-goosey hips.”  That was Jerry Lee Lewis at the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame.  By the by, Jerry Lee Lewis is alive, and only 82 years old.  That is news to everyone.  Never the hoo, I’ve never seen a career year that I couldn’t squash and Andrus’s previous year is no different.  Anyway, why is Elvis Andrus overrated for 2018 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I love keeper leagues. Love ‘em. Can’t get enough of ‘em. Redraft leagues are fine and all but with keeper leagues you become more connected to certain players and have an affinity for them over all others. They become the unofficial “face of your franchise” and are synonymous with your team. Hanley Ramirez will always be one of my favorite players because he was one of my keepers from 2007 (back when he was a 50 base stealing FLORIDA Marlins shortstop) until 2012. I grabbed 26 error third basemen Ryan Braun in 2007 and he was my ride or die until he was 61 games-played outfielder Ryan Braun in 2013. I still haven’t forgiven him for embarrassing the Roswell Aliens like that…

Keeper leagues add a new wrinkle to your draft strategy. You’re keeping Gary Sanchez? Great! You don’t have to decide whether you want to draft James McCann or Tucker Barnhart in the 25th round!  Keeping one of the big-4 aces? Wonderful! You can now load up on offense early and wait to take Kyle Hendricks as your second starter.

If I were writing this article pre-season 2017 pitchers would be few and far between on this list. Only Clayton Kershaw would’ve been found in the top 25. Now, in this juiced ball era, starting pitchers find themselves a bit more valuable. Although, with this universal humidor situation it’ll be interesting to see what happens to the faces of our teams. For example, the day after the Arizona Diamondbacks announced that they would utilize a humidor in their stadium I saw a tweet that said Paul Goldschmidt fell to the 15th overall pick in one draft. If they kept Paul Goldschmidt himself in a humidor for all of 2018 I’d still draft him before pick 15.

Let’s get into my methodology here. I’m going to be mainly focusing on 2018 because the future is hard to predict. However I’m not going to completely ignore that if you’re reading this article you’re probably not in a 1-year keeper league so there will be some projecting for the next few years as well. That means age will be a factor here. Joey Votto can still smash, but is 34 while his younger brother Freddie Freeman hits just as well and is only turning 29 at the end of this season. Position will also be a factor. Needing 1 second basemen in a shallow pool means that they’re more valuable than the 3-5 outfielders you’ll need. The intersectionality of speed/power and age will also be considered. Dee Gordon is turning 30 in April — how long will his legs hold up? Chone Figgins went to Seattle in his 30’s in 2012 and his career was donezo by 2013. Injury history should also be considered. Giancarlo Stanton was an MVP in 2017, but had over 500 ABs just twice in his previous 7 seasons. As a Yankee fan I’m hoping he stays healthy, but as a fantasy baseball owner I’m cautious. Have any of you actually read any of this or did you just jump straight to the chart to find your players?

Oh well, enough jibber-jabber! Let’s get into it:

The 2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open! Free to join with prizes! All the exclamation points!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Spring is on its way! The RCLs are up and running, Grey’s busted through his rankings, and it’s not negative 100 outside my house for once. As if the opening sentences didn’t generate enough excitement, the dynamic duo of Castle Grey-Shitz is back for another week of big audio dynamite. This time we come correct with the top 25-30 shortstops for 2018 Fantasy Baseball from the Book of Albright. We dig in on Carlos Correa’s value, debate Alex Bregman’s running ability, use our meh emojis for Corey Seager, before moving on to Chris Taylor, Xander Bogaerts, Javier Baez, Elvis Andrus, Trevor Story, and many more. Just another week here with Ralph & Grey! Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:

Please, blog, may I have some more?