[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1385528″ player=”13959″ title=”2023 Fantasy Football Rookies” duration=”173″ description=”0:24 Jahmyr Gibbs 1:05 Kendre Miller 1:54 Jaxon Smith-Njigba ” uploaddate=”2023-08-19″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1385528_th_64e0200ad8139_1692409866.jpg” image=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1385528_sd_64e0200ad8139_1692409866.jpg” contenturl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1385528.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)
The Ghost of George Steinbrenner stands with the Ghost of Billy Martin, discussing how when you’re dead, they realize, you can see the future. They decide the best way to communicate this future they see, where the earth is ablaze, is through a medium. The medium’s name is Aaron Boone. After an elaborate seance with lots of candles, they realize they are not witnessing the future, but they are actually in hell. The Ghost of Billy Martin says, “The heat does help with the hangover.” Then they ask the medium how the Yanks are doing. Aaron tells them, and Billy punches him, while George fires him. With that guy gone, they take over control of the team and the Ghost of Billy and George bring up, Everson Pereira. The other day I said Pereira could be better than Volpe. (That was meant as a compliment.) Itch’s said, “Pereira strikes out a lot for a premium prospect, but he makes enough impact that he could still catch on as a regular without making significant gains in the contact department. If he does figure out how to strike out less than the 30-ish percent rates he’s carried throughout his career, the 6’0” 191 lb Pereira will lay waste to the pitchers in his path. He’s not a burner but stole 21 bases in 28 attempts across two levels and should be able to chip in 10-plus big-league steals without much trouble. Or ‘good trouble’ like beating up Grey.” Okay, not cool. Speaking of not cool, during this time of year it’s better to go with a vet, who is hot, then a guy brought up by two guys who are hot as hell, but Everson could be rostered in all leagues looking for a power/speed upside play the final month-plus. By the way, if George Steinbrenner were in hell, the devil would’ve been fired by now and George would be running things. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
PSYCHE! Before we get into the post, just wanted to mention that our fantasy football tools are up and running. I know some of y’all play football, even if I don’t. It’s the Streamonator but with pigskin. It’s the Pigskinonator! Anyway II, the Buy/Sell:
BUY
Shea Langeliers – Hottest catcher in the game is Sia Chandeliers. Well, after Yainer Diaz, prolly, but he should be rostered everywhere.
Andrew Knizner – That his parents didn’t name him Ebner is the kind of mistake that should not be allowed to stand. Could’ve nicknamed him Scrooge! Damn, worst parenting since Casey Anthony.
Harold Ramirez – Somehow, the Rays players find fantasy value A) When they’re not even playing every day. B) The team is struggling. C) There’s no C.
Elehuris Montero – Was kinda surprised to see him doing well on the 7-day Player Rater, because I have Elehuris in one league, and he didn’t seem to be doing anything that great. I’m guessing he had a solid week at home last week, and the weekly rater is showing remnants of that.
Carlos Santana – Oye como yay!
Brandon Belt – Checked out the 30-day Player Rater just to torture myself by seeing Belt above Vlad Jr., just as he is in the Jays’ lineup.
Pablo Reyes – For anyone who thinks the Sawx vs. Yanks don’t have a bigger reach than most teams still, Reyes had a decent weekend series and suddenly everyone in the comments was asking about picking him up. Almost as much as when Jarren Duran had a .400 BABIP earlier this year and people were convinced he was breaking out. Reyes is fine as a hot schmotato, but I see nothing to think he’s anything more.
Zack Gelof – This is for now, because he’s hot as the sun, but I still wonder what he can do long-term. If he can continue what he’s been doing, he would be a unicorn riding a rainbow…Wait a minute, A’s are green and gold, colors best known for a pot of gold and leprechauns, which are found at the end of rainbows! I’ve discovered…*thinks for a second*…likely nothing.
Jeff McNeil – Two good things happening with McNeil in the last few weeks, he’s been hitting well, and staying on people’s radars for next year when people continue to waste a draft pick on him.
Elvis Andrus – Just a small note about the big picture — do I like McNeil, Andrus or a bunch of these guys in the big picture? Not at all, but there is no big picture anymore — except Lance Lynn. Is he wearing Jonathan Broxton’s old pants? — it’s about what a guy can do right now, and Andrus has been hot.
Dylan Moore – He has a good name for a guy who works at a casino. Could go by the nickname, Dealin’. “You hit on 12 against a ten?” I do what Dealin’ Moore tells me. Any hoo! Moore, and everyone on the M’s, has been hot. Hard to find a bad bat in their lineup right now. That includes even Josh Rojas.
Noelvi Marte – We don’t want Noelvi Marte to fail, but he has a ready-made nickname if he does, NVM. Any hoo! I just gave you a Noelvi Marte fantasy.
Osleivis Basabe – Just thought of something. If I were a MLB team, I’d pay off prospect writers to inflate a prospect’s grades, thus inflating how other teams think of a player. You wanna trade Brujan? What better way than saying he’s a 60-grade prospect. Not saying they did this with Basabe, but he’s got great prospect grades, so we’ll see! Here’s my Osleivis Basabe fantasy too.
Edmundo Sosa – Phils stole the Cards’ utility man and their go-to sneaky move of making “not very good” players somewhat decent for a few weeks.
Luis Urias – Feels like anyone with a 22%-ish strikeout rate and a below-.200 average should be out of baseball. I don’t care how unlucky their BABIP says they’ve been. That’s the cutoff for being a major leaguer. With that said (Grey’s turning the ship around!), Urias has been hot.
DJ Stewart – Mets have finally found some useful role players just as they’re supposed to be losing every game. Never change, Mets!
Eddie Rosario – Find it hard to believe Rosario is available in any competitive leagues, let alone 85% of them as ESPN claims, but alas.
Kerry Carpenter – Gave you a Kerry Carpenter fantasy last week. It had cranberry sauce that it did not eat.
Adam Duvall – Went to look at if Duvall was rostered in under 50% leagues to make him eligible for this post, and saw Ozuna was at 38%, and if a guy who is a top 20 outfielder is under 50%, then, yeah, guess so.
Brandon Drury – *opens dresser where you keep your ‘Let’s go Brandon!’ shirts* “This is my Brandon Drury.”
Tommy Pham – You know what Tommy Pham could use to go with his hot bat? Our fantasy football tools!
Jake Cave – If you have the last name Cave and don’t name your kid Platos, I don’t respect your naming game. Throw out your Claritin, because you ain’t got no allegories.
Brent Rooker – “First off I want to thank God for making April 1st to May 15th and August 15th to October 1st.” That’s Brent Rooker at his Hall of Fame induction.
Akil Baddoo – “Akil two birds with one stone by picking up all Tigers and all Mariners,” said the guy who is winning his H2H league.
Cole Irvin – This is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to a dog kennel.
Mike Clevinger – This is also a Streamonator call. “Do you have any of those Boston Robotics dogs for adoption? They’re so cute.”
Tyler Rogers – Or is it Trevor Rogers? Or can I just grab Mr. Rogers and hope there’s some SAGNOF in my neighborhood?
Jason Foley – Hol’ up! I just realized something…Foley’s in Detroit…Jason Foley is Axel Foley’s kid! *insert Eddie Murphy making “okay” sign with fingers* Tigers seem like they might look at Alex Lange still, which is dumb, but teams stay being dumb.
Aroldis Chapman – Don’t think Will Smith is just out, but Bochy might try Chapman or literally anyone else who can close games, because they’ve been on the Struggle Bus.
Kyle Finnegan – He has a 3.25-ish ERA for his career with a 9+ K/9. Gnats are meh, but Finnegan’s been fine-again.
SELL
Matt Chapman – Unlike Brent Rooker, Chapman never got hot again. Say goodnight, Chappie! “Goodnight, Chappie.”
Jordan Walker – Noooooooooooooo*pauses, takes a few breaths, goes back into the negative*…oooooooooooooooooooooooooo…*stops and sips boba, burps and goes back in*…ooooooooooooooo! Not my father, Jordan Walker! “He is papa,” said like I’m Eleven on Stranger Things. Sadly, Walker’s been going through those not-related-to-Kirk-Cameron growing pains. Lucky Boner’s not here to see it! (By the way, I’m not sure if a network TV show could name a character Boner now. Any hoo!) I will still love Walker next year, so if you’re in a dynasty, I wouldn’t trade him for the opportunity to be on Baby Billy’s Bible Bonkers, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options. In redraft leagues, you can move on.
