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Please see our player page for Luis Urias to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

I’m having this weird feeling. It’s not gas; I know what that feels like. It’s not anger that my neighbor planted a tree that smells like semen on my property line. It’s…I think…extreme happiness? I hate my AL-Only teams usually, but I kinda like this team. Oh, it has its flaws, we’ll get to those, but, is this. Dot dot dot. Bliss? I never love my AL-Only teams. Sometimes, I’m okay with them. Sometimes, I’m unhappy with them but pretend to be okay with them, like a sad clown with a painted-on smile. But “kinda like” an AL-Only team?

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Winter Meetings? More like Snoozy Meetings! We need more action, which is why I bring you my proposal: Trades are now made with a pitch clock! “Hey, welcome to the Nashville Ramada, the Padres will be discussing Juan Soto trades in the Beige conference room that smells like sausage and onions from last night’s wedding that took place there. Padres will be fielding offers for thirty seconds from each team. Pirates, I see you getting ready to offer one of your two catcher prospects. Don’t do it. No one wants a catcher. Okay, good luck and may the best team named the New York Yankees win!” That’s Rob Manfred adding excitement into the Winter Meetings.

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The Ghost of George Steinbrenner stands with the Ghost of Billy Martin, discussing how when you’re dead, they realize, you can see the future. They decide the best way to communicate this future they see, where the earth is ablaze, is through a medium. The medium’s name is Aaron Boone. After an elaborate seance with lots of candles, they realize they are not witnessing the future, but they are actually in hell. The Ghost of Billy Martin says, “The heat does help with the hangover.” Then they ask the medium how the Yanks are doing. Aaron tells them, and Billy punches him, while George fires him. With that guy gone, they take over control of the team and the Ghost of Billy and George bring up, Everson Pereira. The other day I said Pereira could be better than Volpe. (That was meant as a compliment.) Itch’s said, “Pereira strikes out a lot for a premium prospect, but he makes enough impact that he could still catch on as a regular without making significant gains in the contact department. If he does figure out how to strike out less than the 30-ish percent rates he’s carried throughout his career, the 6’0” 191 lb Pereira will lay waste to the pitchers in his path. He’s not a burner but stole 21 bases in 28 attempts across two levels and should be able to chip in 10-plus big-league steals without much trouble. Or ‘good trouble’ like beating up Grey.” Okay, not cool. Speaking of not cool, during this time of year it’s better to go with a vet, who is hot, then a guy brought up by two guys who are hot as hell, but Everson could be rostered in all leagues looking for a power/speed upside play the final month-plus. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Julio Rodriguez is effervescent. Julio Rodriguez is a can of seltzer that is baseball-flavored. Like Home Depot, he’s got electric tools. Figured go with the dad metaphor vs. like a raver with a glow stick down their pants, he’s got electric tools. It stinks he’s behind the West Coast PST iron curtain. Everyone sees the East Coast games, and West Coast games are only usually seen by the West Coast, as most are asleep on the East Coast. Don’t even get me started with the PST bias. “Hey, are you around at 9 AM for a call?” “Sure.” Then invariably you get woken at 6 AM. “Oh, I figured you knew it was EST.” EST was a cult showcased in The Americans, and is a cult for everyone who thinks there’s only one time zone. Screw your time zones! Wow, that went far afield of Julio Rodriguez. Okay, bringing it back: He went 5-for-5 with 5 RBIs and his 20th homer. He’s hitting .269, and he was a triple short of the cycle. Speaking of short, it was a short schedule yesterday: Julio Rodriguez for 2024 fantasy? Where does he go? He won’t go as high again as this year, and that will make him a steal wherever it is. Speaking of steals, he was caught for the ninth time yesterday and picked off. Usually I ignore that, but I wonder if the Mariners might curb his enthusiasm. Either way, he’s pretttttttay, pretttttttay good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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“What a day for a game! We have Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander squaring off today to decide who goes to the World Series for the American League, and–hold on, clear the room! Mr. Met, no! Don’t do it!–*tv channel goes to static*” Okay, this is going to sound crazy, but the Mets did well at the deadline. It’s not how they would’ve imagined it in the preseason, but unloading two fossils for prospects, and they can just buy again this offseason. Of course, they’ll likely take the prospects they just got and trade them for, like, George Springer, but it’s a strategy. Now, due to their luxury tax implications, it’s imperative they lose as many games as possible, which brings me to: You too can be a Mets starter! Just head down to Metco and line up! Auditions start at 2 PM on Thursday. So, Justin Verlander returns to the Astros…*yawns* If the biggest move during the Trade Deadline is Justin Verlander returning to Houston, then what a snooze. Let’s go Yankees, do a move no one likes! Let’s go Dodgers, grab another player no one wants! C’mon, Rays, grab another forgotten starter and make him an ace! A guy Verlander’s age doesn’t change suddenly. He can be great for ratios, and give IP, but his Ks have gone bye-bye and he’s not locating as well. He goes to a tougher park, but an easier division, though the Astros face a bunch of AL East teams in August. I’ll say it’s lateral, and you should know what you’re getting. Well…You could be getting a one-day contract to pitch for the Mets! Just head down to the stadium!

As it turned out, all of that Verlander business was a preamble for a historical event that was about to happen that night. Was it Lance Lynn’s first crotch grab on his new team, the Dodgers? Well, that did happen, but no-no. Framber Valdez threw a no-hitter with one walk and 7 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.07. So, The Framchise threw the Astros’ first lefty no-hitter on a day they brought back a guy with three of them. It’s pretty inspiring. Maybe you’re next for the Mets! Seriously, they need arms, head down to Metco this Thursday.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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I’ve been giving the Tigers a hard time, unlike the contact their hitters make. Okay, okay, that’s enough. It’s time to dig in on Spencer Torkelson (2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 10th and 11th homer, and 3rd homer in two games). You have to dig deep because his prospect status has sunk so low. All right, that’s not nice. Seriously, I need to look at Torkelson. Yikes, that’s a jump scare. In 187 games in the majors, he has 19 HRs, 2 SBs and a .210 average. Josh Bell is a bad hitter; Torkelson is a bad-hitting Josh Bell. Call him Gosh That’s Hell. Any hoo! He’s young and he just had his best month in the majors, 7 HRs in just under 100 ABs. He still hit .180-ish, but baby steps, Gosh That’s Hell. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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So Much Rookie Nookie hitting the waiver wire the last few weeks it’s been hard to keep my excitement in check. I’ve been walking around with a trash can lid dangling around my neck and resting below my waist. There is seemingly value on rookies in their early prices on the DFS menu. While they […]

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In the biz, we call this an “In Appreciation Of” post. This is in appreciation of Tildaddy. The one and only: Ronald Acuña Jr. (4-for-8, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and a double slam (14, 15) and legs (29), hitting .333). Tildaddy says you are done with your chores! Scientists should get together Ronald Acuña Sr., Fernando Tatis Sr., Bobby Witt Sr., Michael Harris I and other former players, who have elite MLB sons, and let them study them. Like the movie, Concussion, but call it Cushion Pushin’. Tildaddy is running away with the top spot on the Player Rater, and–Well, one of his home runs yesterday went 461 feet and it looked like he was barely swinging. Put that together with a guy who might have 45 steals by the All-Star Break, and we’re looking at a possible 40/70 season. I just nearly fainted. I need to sit down. Sits in a hole labeled “People who faded Acuña in the preseason.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?