Please see our player page for Johnny Cueto to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Greetings, deep-leaguers!  We’ve now officially hit mid-August, and if you’re fighting for a money spot in one of your fantasy baseball leagues, every decision you make and every day’s worth of stats probably seem magnified.  One or two bad starts (thanks, Trevor Bauer and Cole Hamels!) can cost you crucial ERA and WHIP points that you’ve been slowing but surely building up in a roto league, or sink your head-to-head week completely.  You may not be able to control how major league baseball players pitch, but it’s as important as ever to try to keep your team as strong as possible and to take advantage of trying to grab a few counting stats where you can.  On that note, let’s look at a few players that might be of interest in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Kole Calhoun went 1-for-2 and his 14th homer and, seriously, how many home runs does he have since the break?  475?  Am I warm?  Because it feels like I’m super warm…*eyes drift to a mirror* …so super, super warm.  Hot even.  What’s your name?  *snaps out of it*  Damn it, reflection!  Okay, starting a dynasty team, Trout or Calhoun?  It’s too difficult to decide!  What is this world coming to with the fire emoji that is Kole Calhoun in the last two weeks?  I can’t handle it.  Literally, and I’m wearing oven mitts.  Here’s Calhoun two weeks ago:  *opens DeLorean door*  “I can go anywhere?  How about Balco in 2001?”  Somehow, Calhoun is only owned in 45% of leagues, which I hope means 55% of people are already checking out our fantasy football rankings.  If not, shame.   Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Unfortunately we all put a lot of hope that the 21 year old Rafael Devers would live up to his massive potential this season, but he’s been oft-injured and oft-not hitting. Stash or Trash: Stash. Unless you’re in a 10 team league — if you have a better option available — then jump on him. Fill In: David Fletcher (3.4%.) With Ian Kinsler traded to the Red Sox, Fletcher could be due for a big boost in playing time. In 254 AAA ABs was hitting — wait, this can’t be right — .350?! Fletcher also hit 6 HRs so he has some power potential and stole 20 bases last season so he can even steal a few bags. He only has 1 of each in 114 ABs so far, but the .298 is pretty on par for him and the added at bats should result in more power and stolen base opportunities. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jays traded Roberto Osuna to the Astros for Ken Giles.  Basically, they traded headaches.  If the Jays and Astros wanted to do what was best for baseball, they would have Giles and Osuna step into a steel cage, right at the Canadian border, and whoever was able to get out, that would be who would continue on.  It can have lots of little Canadian touches too, like a maple syrup hazard and scaffolding designed by Bret Hart.  “Giles looks like he’s going to escape–Ooh, a Mountie greets him with poutine in the eye.  Would’ve thought he’d look out for that, but it never o’CURD’d to him.”  “Mean” Gene Okerlund with the pun!  I like this trade for both teams.  Your piece of shizz for my piece of shizz.  All trades should be this clearcut.  As for fantasy, Roberto Osuna should take over in Houston when he returns next week, but Hector Rondon had been pitching well (until his last outing).  Might not be Osuna immediately, but I’d imagine he gets in the 9th by his third appearance.  Pretty much same deal with Ken Giles.  Though, there’s a lot more emphasis on Ken with Giles.  Ken he?  I don’t know, but the Jays also have less desirable options, so I could see Giles getting saves even quicker than Osuna.  In most leagues, I’d grab both.  Or whichever makes it out of the steel cage.

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I try to avoid repeating ledes during the season and Sean Newcomb already had one.  There I said, “It’s 2074, Grey Albright’s frozen head is on a shelf next to Ted Williams’ frozen head…I took a picture of Ted’s penis…I’m so romantic!”  Damn, I pull quotes almost as well as I dispense fantasy baseball advice!  By the way, I watched the Ted Williams special on PBS this weekend.  Biggest surprise (to me), he was Mexican.  He was the original Fernandomania — Teodoromania?  When I searched Ted Williams and his Mom, that dominated the search results and who are we to question Google?  So, Sean Newcomb ended the game one out from a no hitter against the Dodgers, one of the best offense teams — 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.23.  I pulled the reins on Newcomb in the last few weeks because his peripherals are garbage and I’m only happy when I’m pulling reins.  His velocity is down, his 8.3 K/9, 4.3 BB/9 and 4.32 xFIP are not telling the whole story, but they’re telling enough of the story while sitting around a campfire farting.  Then on Sunday, he threw 134 pitches.  I’m all for hypnotizing pitchers into thinking they’re Walter Johnson, but he had never pitched more than 111 pitches in the majors.  Solid game on Sunday, but if you grab Newcomb he could leave a mushroom cloud in his wake, and not as in an umami bomb.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Zach Eflin has to be one of the Phils fans favorite pitchers.  His last name just rolls off their tongue.  “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”  “You’re Eflin right!  And I’m kissing her right now.  On Facetime.  She’s a Merchant Marine, and stationed overseas.  It’s actually very sweet how we kiss.  With SnapChat filters.  That dresses me in a baby bonnet.  TMI?”  Sure, it was a short schedule day, so this might have something to do with my joy at Zach Eflin.  Yesterday, he went 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 0.71.  It’s only through 12 2/3 IP so o?ekávání.  I know.  That’s what I thought too, but then I started looking at his numbers, and, ugh, it’s 12 2/3 IP, but you gotta be Eflin kidding me?  He has a 9.2 K/9, 2.1 BB/9 and a 94 MPH fastball, that is up two miles from last year.  Maybe this is a blip, but maybe this is encouragement you receive to burp from your Facetime’ing mom.  Also, in this game, Odubel Herrera hit some ding dongs — 2-for-3, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 4th and 5th homer — because ODB waited until everyone was out on him after last year.  Damn, ODB, why you gotta ad-lib some fire after I’m no longer invested in you?  ODB with more ad-libs than Quavo after a fifth of Cuervo, and Columbus, Ohio seeing the Cleveland Indians and being like, “Yo, I descubierto’d.”  (I really had to fight for that third rhyme.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Just a quick plug before we get into this week’s edition. Click over to the football side of the site and check out the podcast that I did this week with Matt Harmon from NFL Media. If you don’t know, he created a really cool wide receiver tool called Reception Perception a few years back and now it is pretty mainstream in the fantasy football community. He’s always a great listen (this is the second time we’ve had him) and there is plenty of stuff to talk about post-draft.

Now it’s time to talk about baseball. The injury bug is smashing through my home league. I’ve lost Jacob deGrom, Johnny Cueto, and Andrew Miller in the span of a week. I’m guessing that I’m not going to be holding onto first place for very much longer. Some of you have lost Corey Seager for the season and I am sad for you as well. Let’s see if we can help each other out by taking a gander at the player rater and looking at the hottest bats…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“I want to recreate the Pequot War of 1636, but I don’t want to use ordinary weapons, instead I want to use diarrhea.”  “How would that work, Matt Moore?”  “I’m thinking whenever I see an Indian, I throw crap.  Then instead of Pocahontas, I can scream, ‘Poke-a-hot-ass,’ but rather than it be traditionally offensive, it can mean the stream of hot ass I’m throwing.”  “Feels a little performance arty.”  Instead of listening to his agent, Matt Moore (4 IP, 10 ER), went ahead with his revolutionary war.  Finally, Edwin Encarnacion (3-for-5, 6 RBIs, and his 7th, 8th and 9th homers) showed up.  “I told you not to put my name on a tag on my foot.”  That’s Edwin showing signs of life.  Might still be able to buy him low due to his sub-Mendoza batting average (.191), but I’d buy fast, because he could go on a 17+ homers in a month power spree.  Also, in this game, Jason Kipnis (2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer) said, “JK still playing baseball, not JK as in just kidding, but my initials.  In case, ya know, you thought otherwise.”  I have little to no love for Kipnis, this was against one of the worst pitchers in baseball, and means little.  “I’m not a bad pitcher, I’m a terrible historical recreator!”  That’s Matt Moore.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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I’m disappointed, I thought Mike Soroka was the first Thai-born pitcher.  One thing about Soroka, he really brings the heat.  He’ll also answer to Mike The Rooster Sauce.  He’s the spiciest prospect since Pirates’ Single-A phenom, Ravi Gospepradam, and the Padres’ Tony Tarasco.  If only they had that Jays’ prospect, Tom Yum Khai, to cool their palette.  The Braves alone have MLB’s staff highest on the Scoville Scale:  Soroka, Luiz Goharabnero, Mike Frankshotsaucewicz, Sean Capsium and Julio Tahiniran.  Tahini isn’t hot, unless you’re eating it in Iran!  Well, I guess Tahini could be spicy.  If you can make mayo spicy, like Spicymayohiro Tanaka.  Yesterday, Soroka went 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks in only 80 pitches, to show you how on the plate he was with that 95 MPH heat.  In Triple-A, he had a 9.5 K/9, 2 BB/9 and 1.99 ERA with nearly neutral luck.  Against the Mets, he touched the corners of the plate the entire night, barely giving anyone something easy to hit.  This was in a debut for a 20-year-old.  He had more poise than Tootie with a book on her head.  It’s gonna be hard to send him down, but I don’t know what’s in store for him.  He might get the Walker Buehler treatment with the occasional start, bouncing between the majors and Triple-A.  Either way, The Rooster Sauce looks red hot!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?