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The Braves/Phils is America. It’s just excess on top of excess. It’s beautiful. It’s like a blooming onion on top of poutine. Sure, one of those things is Australian and one is from Montreal, but that’s exactly right. America co-ops your excess and makes it more excessive in the rebrand. That’s the Braves/Phils. Excessive in its rebrand of baseball. Plus, no pitching. The star last night (for fantasy, at least) is the same star of the last two months since the standing ovation — Trea Turner going 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and a slam (26) and legs (27). When you think about it, Treat Urner started playing well after he received positive reenforcement, like every other Treat Urner I know. Next up in this game was two Braves hitters who have been doing this all year: Matt Olson going 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 51st homer. Praying to Allahson for nine more! Then, we had Ronald Acuña Jr. going 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 37th homer. Tildaddy said you can help him take off his shoes! Then Marcell Ozuna went 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 34th homer. Hey, if the Braves are hitting, I look at the pitcher facing them and think, “If he dies, he dies.” Enter: Zack Wheeler going 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.70. Sadly, he ran into the Braves-saw. Then, not to be outdone for the Phils, Nick Castellanos went 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 23rd homer. The wind was blowing southwest off the Greek God of Hard Contact’s mother’s mustache and the ball sailed out for everyone. Finally, Bryce Harper went 2-for-3 and his 17th homer. On one side of my brain, I’m like, “No two players are the same.” On my other side, I’m like, “Ohtani and Dominguez are going to take two months to hit for power even after they return to games.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“All Waiver Claims Are Mines,” the newly minted state motto of Ohio. Previously, the state motto was “Put Slop On My Pasketti.” So, I’ll be honest, I kinda like the new waiver wire claim madness. Or WWCM as it’s known colloquially. The WWCM gives us one more shot in the arm of excitement as fans, and it allows teams who got ungatz at the deadline to make one final push, like the Guards did by grabbing Lucas Giolito, Reynaldo Lopez, and Matt Moore. It’s a move, in retrospect, that makes so much sense yet I never thought the Guards had it in them. Kinda thought if you poked the Guards with a stick, they’d remain motionless. Giolito is the only one that has any fantasy value in all leagues — the other guys might have value in Holds leagues, but that’s about it. Giolito goes to a better park — Flo from Progressive Field is dead-last for offense. That is slightly misleading because if you have good pitching, you’re going to suppress offense — dur. Still it’s up there with the best pitchers’ parks. I’d put it in the top five for best pitchers’ parks. Giolito’s biggest issue is allowing homers and walks. Walks won’t change in his new park, but the homers should. He’s likely still a 3.75 to 4.10 ERA pitcher, but that’s better than he’s been, especially if it’s on the low side of that projection. Change your license plate frame, it’s not just a slop on pasketti state anymore! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Lucas Giolito, Randal Grichuk, Hunter Renfroe, Reynaldo Lopez and Matt Moore were all placed on waivers by the Angels. Everyone makes fun of the Rockies, and they deserve it, but the Angels are the Rockies with better on-field talent. The Angels are a joke organization. They were going for it literally three weeks ago! They get nothing for any of these players, by the by. It’s not like they get draft picks or something. They just traded away prospects three weeks ago for these guys and they are just being released. All they get back is money. So, Arte Moreno can build a smaller hot tub inside his larger hot tub. On a real baseball note, the playoffs just became fascinating, since the waiver order is the reverse winning percentage, so maybe that late push by the Mariners to pass the Rangers wasn’t the best move. What does this mean for fantasy? Honestly, I doubt much. It’ll depend which teams pick up each guy, but you have to assume Grichuk and Renfroe are platoon players on better teams, and Giolito is a mess wherever he pitches. Unless he goes to the Rays, then he becomes a late-stage Cy Young candidate. As Matt Truss said, if the Angels pulled that nonsense in a fantasy league, Tommy Pham would smack the crap of out of them. Angels’ City Connect unis should just be white flags. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Good ‘morrow all! Welcome to Razzball Ambulance Chasers, your fantasy baseball injury analysis. Also, welcome to the second half of the 2023 MLB season and those pesky dog days of summer…or as I call it “Curtains Time”!  All of the incoming 60-day IL entries move into the “See ya next year!” territory.   Josh Donaldson […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome back from the break! Now let’s get that money! And by “money” I mean an ulcer from starting Lance Lynn for every one of his terrible starts and benching him for all his good starts. We’re gonna be so rich with that “money.” One guy who is absolutely going to be “money” in scare quotes is Grayson Rodriguez, who was recalled to start on Monday vs. the Dodgers. Orioles weighing calling up Grayson vs. the Marlins this past weekend or the Dodgers, “Hmm, death by one cut seems much nicer than by a thousand.” Of course, I’d pick Grayson back up! Do you not know me at all? Still seems prone to command issues, but his 1.96 ERA in Triple-A is a big ol’ whiff (by hitters) of what could be. He might be an ace for the final two months. Might also be “money,” and that’s not money money. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The last two weeks I’ve said some variation of, “Pablo Lopez (9 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.89) is the biggest Buy Low.” Prolly called him Pab-Lo, but the sentiment remained the same. Buy Low, I said, as I stood below your window, waiting for you to lower your hair so I could climb up and whispering why Pablo Lopez was a Buy Low. His K/9 is 11.2 and his BB/9 is 2.4. I did a Zoom call with those numbers and talked dirty until they called me a Toobin and hung up. His xFIP is 3.45. That’s SHE upside down on a calculator. You need more info here? Really? Everything looked perfect on his perfs, the only thing that was poking out and ruining things was his unlucky LOB%. Once that corrected itself, he was going to be an ace. Ya know one way to avoid a LOB problem? It’s to leave guys on freakin’ base! That was going to be the easiest thing to correct for someone with a 11+ K/9. He is no longer a Buy Low. Hopefully, you got in on Pab-Lo before he became Pab-Properly-Priced. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve been giving the Tigers a hard time, unlike the contact their hitters make. Okay, okay, that’s enough. It’s time to dig in on Spencer Torkelson (2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 10th and 11th homer, and 3rd homer in two games). You have to dig deep because his prospect status has sunk so low. All right, that’s not nice. Seriously, I need to look at Torkelson. Yikes, that’s a jump scare. In 187 games in the majors, he has 19 HRs, 2 SBs and a .210 average. Josh Bell is a bad hitter; Torkelson is a bad-hitting Josh Bell. Call him Gosh That’s Hell. Any hoo! He’s young and he just had his best month in the majors, 7 HRs in just under 100 ABs. He still hit .180-ish, but baby steps, Gosh That’s Hell. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Kevin Gausman went 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.01. Gausman was being drafted like, “Oh, I guess I’ll punt top starters and take Gausman.” Gausman was being drafted like: Person looking at your draft results, “You didn’t draft an ace.” Person who drafted Gausman, “I think Gausman is my ace.” “No, you need someone like Corbin Burnes or Sandy Alcantara.” I won’t break the record that I continue to break that people continue to ignore. I just want everyone to think about one thing: Pitchers are impossible to rank, thus draft. ERA, Wins and WHIP, to a lesser extent, are heavily influenced by luck. When there’s no luck playing a factor, they’re prone to injuries. You could’ve had Gausman as your ace everywhere. Or, you could’ve had Alek Manoah, who was scorched for 11 runs in 2 2/3 IP in the Florida Complex League. Oh, he’s absolutely going to have a complex, thinking, “Wow, I really suck.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?