Please see our player page for Ian Desmond to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

So, when does Brendan McKay come up to replace an Ineffective Listed Blake Snell?  Ton of people asking about McKay, so I’ll go over him briefly, because I have nothing else to do but service you.  I am a mere vessel for your wants and dreams. Bit like the Flowbee if you need a haircut.  Prospect Mike just went over McKay in his last post.  McKay is the Rays’ Ohtani.  Though if hitting and pitching made Ohtani a unicorn, I’m not sure what that makes McKay.  A Loch Ness Monster?  Seen more often, but just as imaginary?  McKay’s likely headed for a Middler role in Tampa, and maybe some at-bats.  His arm excites me more than his bat, he could have a 9+ K/9 and always has insane command (2 BB/9), but Jalen White Clarence Beeks or Brendan McKay?  Meh, I don’t think there’s that much of a difference.  Guess McKay has more upside, and love how he sounds like what a dad would call a character on 90210 back in the 90s.  Why do we even care about McKay?  Have you seen Blake Snell (3 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.01)?  If you have, send him back to replace the stunt double who is wearing his jersey.  “I thought when they said ‘changeup,’ they meant a changeup from pitching well, so I started pitching like garbage.”  That’s Blake Snell addressing dozens of crying Rays fans.  I know no one wants to hear this right now, but Snell doesn’t appear to be pitching poorly; he’s having atrocious luck.  Like if a ball is hit right at a fielder, a squirrel grabs the ball and throws it into the outfield for a double.  He could be a buy low, as long as he’s not hiding an injury, real or fake.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Trevor Story hit the IL with a thumb sprain, which is bad news (no dur), but the Rockies are saying there’s no ligament damage, so it could’ve been worse.  The good news is Brendan Rodgers was promoted.  Is this good news?  For Rodgers, I’d imagine it is.  For the Uber driver taking Rodgers to the airport?  Prolly good news for them.  The guy sitting next to Rodgers on the plane having to hear about how Rodgers is not going to sit on the bench for Pat Valaika, this time, things are gonna be different?  Doesn’t sound like good news for that guy sitting next to him. What a bore!  Okay, so I know, I know, I KNOW the Rockies have burned us all to the point where we shudder at commercials for Burn Notice reruns on USA, but there is a reason why the Rockies have burned us.  Because we all want to own all of them due to the stadium. I grabbed Rodgers for that very reason.  We shall see, but I put it at 70/30 the Rockies play Pat Valaika, and 30 is for:  Rodgers doesn’t play, is sent down and Hampson is recalled to also not play. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe one day we will reminisce about Fantasy Master Lothario Grey Albright, his love for Boba, and how it was ultimately his undoing. That day however is not today, today we laugh at children, punch old women, and talk about Yordan Alvarez. Hey Dodgers fans, you traded him for Josh Fields… really! Anyway, it’s Week 12 of fantasy baseball and there is lots to discuss, including returning stars, injuries, Willie Calhoun, and why we kind of wish Shohei Ohtani didn’t pitch. Well, he’s not pitching now, but we mean, like ever. We answer some twitter questions on Scott Kingery and the Padres recently promoted Logan Allen. We then end the show with some waiver adds, and an embrace that lasts a little too long. This. Show. Has. It. All. It’s the latest episode of the Razzball Podcast. 

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Welcome to Friday homies. Another week over and Memorial Day BBQs to look forward to over the weekend. Before we jump to the celebrating (shamefully puts fourth beer back into fridge), let’s take a look at what FanDuel has us set up for. As is the norm on Fridays, FanDuel has a massive 14-game main slate. After careful analysis (definitely not a first look with a mild amount of research, shut up!), I’ll be locking Noah Syndergaard ($10,600) into my cash game lineup. Syndergaard has disappointed some in the early season and there are a couple of troubling numbers, including his swinging strike rate being down and his home run rate being up. I’m willing to overlook these issues and instead focusing on his opponent’s issues, makes playing Syndergaard much easier. The Tigers have the second worst wOBA and ISO in the league against right-handed pitching to go along with a 26.2% K%, which is good for fourth worst. Syndergaard should face seven righties plus the pitcher spot today. Let’s take a look at the rest of FanDuel’s slate.

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First off, big congrats to Albert Pujols (1-for-4 and his 6th homer), as he passed 2,000 RBIs. That is amazing. Now would some archaeologist find old man Pujols’s Holy Grail Goblet Room and let him retire in peace? Second off, David Fletcher went 2-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .310, as he finally seems to be settling in at leadoff. Can we just pause for one second and try to comprehend how stupid I am?  Okay, you don’t have to rundown all my countless idiotic calls.  I get it.  Okay, with my stupidity in mind, it took a major league manager — Bad Assdunce, in this case — almost six weeks to realize Fletcher is the best guy to hit leadoff on the Angels.  Assdunce hit Kole Calhoun (2-for-4, 3 runs, and his 9th homer, hitting .223) for 78 ABs at leadoff — a .240 hitter on a good day!  Ya know, when they hire MLB managers, they’re not hiring their best and brightest.  Oh, and I have it at 50/50 odds Fletcher doesn’t stay at leadoff, just so ya know.  By the by, Fletcher is not in this afternoon’s Buy column, but if he’s available add him for average and hopefully counting stats.  Finally, Tommy La Stella.  What in the holy fudge?  Only, I didn’t say fudge.  I said the mother of all curse words.  Yesterday, he went 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer.  Did he even have nine homers in 1,000 at-bats prior to this in his career?  Not to answer, because I don’t care, but WUT. At this point, Travis Shaw would need to have the best month of his career to even tie La Stella in fantasy value.  I am laughing through tears.  Sad clown tears!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We gonna talk about Lil’ Wayne’s favorite baseball player, “Franmil mil mil mil mil…mil mil, a mil.”  Much to chagrin of the former Padres’ outfielder and Missy Elliott’s favorite player, “Matt Sczrczrczr,” or as she would say, “nac uoy eveileb eh saw reve a gniht Sczrczrczr my skizzard.”  Franmil Reyes looks like a cross between Kyle Blanks and a vending machine that dispenses steaks.  “Damn, I thought this was the crappy hot chocolate vending machine and now I just got charged $54 for a T-bone.”  That’s someone getting a vending machine steak.  Yesterday, Franmil Reyes did what he’s been known/capable of — blasting two, loud $54 vending machine T-bones into orbit, ending the night 3-for-4 with his 7th and 8th homer.  He’s now on pace for 40 homers.  Greek chorus, “Who isn’t?!”  Okay, GC, but Franmil can get to 40 homers, unlike, say, Tommy La Stella.   Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Subliminally, I nod my whenever Reynaldo Lopez is mentioned.  It’s a disease similar to Jimmy Legs; it’s called Lo-Pez Head.  Yesterday, my Lo-Pez Head nodded for all the good he was doing (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunenrs (3 BBs), 14 Ks, ERA at 6.03).  Lopez faced Murmurer’s Row of Detroit and sent them down, down, down, down–how many downs is that?  4 downs at three downs per down, that’s still only 12 downs and he had 14.  Damn, that’s too many Ks for even the Alt-Right Sox.  Usually Reynaldo Lopez rattles off a bag of Dick Poles.  Am I now interested?  Do I look *makes nutter rolly finger motion on side of head*?  He was once a big-time prospect with a mid-90s MPH fastball that can hit straight-boing type levels.  I see his current 11.2 K/9 and get weak in the knees, can barely speak, but his 4.9 BB/9 is his usual Pitfall Harry and his 5.47 xFIP doesn’t scream confidence like a man with 100-point font.  I’d continue to view him as a streamer for now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s the second week of baseball season, which symbols the annual potential for snow baseball, interleague play, and pulled latissimus dorsi! The MLB continues to amaze everyone by scheduling our utmost northern cities for home games during the first week of April. How is Boston the only club traveling on a west coast or southern swing? It must be attributed to Dave Dombrowski attending the Ivy League of the Midwest, Western Michigan. At least the baseball brass can breathe easy now that the AAF is canceled and all those viewers will come back to watching baseball, unless you live in Los Angeles and all your games are blacked out. Baseball is back friends!

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I’m not going to overreact to 20 at-bats. I will not do it. That being said, if you’re in a league with me — every one of my players is a bum and is on the block. Starting next week we’ll start to see some moving and shaking, but this list is mostly a refresher from the pre-season. There are really only six “fallers” this week and they’re all injury related. I’ll be writing more about them in my injury column which drops on Wednesday, but here’s who slipping, tumbling, sinking, fumbling:

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Categories, eligibility and speed. These are the things that dictate where I rank hitters. Categories: A guy who contributes in all 5 categories is going to be ranked higher than someone who contributes in only 4 — even if those 4 categories are elite. That’s why I’m a bit lower on J.D. Martinez and Nolan Arenado compare to other people. Eligibility: obviously guys with multiple position eligibility or a shallower position will be ranked higher than say an outfielder. “Then why aren’t you higher on catchers?” Because after the top-2 catchers they’re basically all the same and likely to miss time. Speed: the most elusive of 5×5 categories. If you can give me at least 10 steals I’m going to give you a boost in my rankings. That’s why I’m higher on someone like Tommy Pham than others. If Trea Turner gets the 75-80 stolen base attempts that the Nationals want him to get then he has the chance to end the season as a top-3 player.

Please, blog, may I have some more?