Inspired by JKJ’s recent lament on the St. Louis Cardinals, combined with my First Year Player Drafts informed by The Prospect Itch and Hobbs, as well as noted scout John Sickels’ “Shadow Twins” series of articles, I wanted to reveal my own mourning process for my beloved tolerated local sports team, the Minnesota Twins. More than just an elegy to the Midwest Monsters that could have been, the Minnesota Twins stand as an example of a team that dynasty fantasy managers might want to avoid, and the reason is rooted in the “real world” dynamics of the Twins’ ownership and management over the past century.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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My system overview would be incomplete if it failed to cite JKJ’s recent article from the pages of Razzball, Randy Arozarena & the Ex-Cardinals’ All-Star Team.

I’m not one for pouring salt into open wounds, but I think any sports fan can totally relate to the catharsis endemic to deconstructing the various rosters your team didn’t build, even as that team is relatively successful on the field. 

The redbirds’ minor league build is fine. It’ll probably land mid pack or better for the people who rank whole systems. That evaluation will be a bit inflated by Dylan Carlson’s last gasp of prospect eligibility and Norman Gorman’s residual shine from his early returns, but there’s also plenty of topside waiting in the lower minors and an outstanding 2020 draft class on the way. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

I love most things about playing fantasy baseball leagues, but I especially love the push/pull of short versus long-term outcomes. I play a lot of dynasty, keeper and redraft leagues of various shapes and sizes, so the range of values I might place on a prospect in a given league is wide.

Not here, though, where I’ll be going full cut-throat, win-the-money redraft style.

I don’t know why anyone will be cutting throats. I love that phrase, but yikes, what a thing to say in casual conversation, huh?

This list won’t turn out to be 100 percent accurate, but it will reflect many hours of trade talks, gameplay, research, roller coasters and centrifuges of thought, educated guesswork, and dash of the psychology motivating humans working within a nihilistic capitalist structure. 

  • Note: I wasn’t sure how to handle innings caps. Every pitcher got dinged a little for the purposes of this list because some/most organizations will be very conservative pushing pitchers from 30-something (or zero) innings up above 100 (or more).
  • Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

I love most things about playing fantasy baseball leagues, but I especially love the push/pull of short versus long-term outcomes. I play a lot of dynasty, keeper and redraft leagues of various shapes and sizes, so the range of values I might place on a prospect in a given league is wide.

Not here, though, where I’ll be going full cut-throat, win-the-money redraft style.

  • Note: Nobody will be cutting actual throats. I love that phrase, but yikes, what a thing to say in casual conversation, huh?

This list won’t turn out to be 100 percent accurate, but it will reflect many hours of trade talks, gameplay, research, roller coasters and centrifuges of thought, educated guesswork, and dash of the psychology motivating humans working within a nihilistic capitalist structure. 

  • Note: I wasn’t sure how to handle innings caps. Every pitcher got dinged a little for the purposes of this list because some/most organizations will be very conservative pushing pitchers from 30-something (or zero) innings up above 100 (or more).
    Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

We’re nearing a date beloved by baseball fans around the world. The first pitch of the Fall Classic is but a few days away. Baseball in 2020 was classic in many ways. Due to an invisible enemy, the season was delayed and play was adjusted as never before in the storied history of America’s Pastime.

But, we’re one game away from deciding who the final two teams standing will be. One team already punched their 2020 World Series ticket by winning another of baseball’s historic seven-game classics. The Tampa Bay Rays meet the Los Angeles Dodgers, the winner of the National League’s version of a winner-take-all final seventh game. Both teams get their chance at winning “The Series” in a strange season.

It will matter not to whichever team wins the upcoming best-of-seven that 2020 will have an asterisk beside it. Spring training became “summer training”, and 162 got whittled down to 60. Nevertheless, baseball lovers are still ready to be served another best-of-seven Fall Classic.

We had a hunch way back when this strange season started that one team would prove to be a formidable contender. The Rays have done all the things we thought they would be good at to fill spot number one in the 2020 World Series.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Get your bids in: these Mets are for sale!

It’ll be fascinating to see the fate of GM Brodie Van Wagenen under new ownership. Luckily for him, the team is obligated to pay his clients several million dollars regardless of his own future. Wild times in New York these days, but their scouting and development teams have done well over the past few cycles, so the system remains solid despite the purge of Jarred Kelenic, Simeon Woods-Richardson and more. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

What’s up, Razzballers? Hope playoff baseball is treating you well, and if you’re in any playoff pools like I am, hope they’re treating you well, as well!

Well. What a wild season of fantasy baseball we had, eh? I’m not a super high-stakes type of fantasy baller – I did two Yahoo public leagues mainly because drafts are so easy to join and get through quickly (I won both!), my home keeper auction league (which moved to roto for this year and I got 2nd after being two-time defending champ *sad emoji*), and then the RazzSlam. I got really lucky in the Slam, not suffering a lot of COVID-ness or injury. Finished second in my league and #46 overall. Not too shabby for my first industry league endeavor! Just want to thank Grey, Donkey and others, but mostly of all, you. You’ve made me feel so welcome. Hey, watch me make like a tree’s sap and get sappy!

Anywayyyyy, I bring up my own leagues because a large part of my success came down to waiver wire wizardry. Well, RazzSlam not so much (waivers are limited there), but my final rosters in the other three leagues looked a lot different from Opening Day. That’s always the case in fantasy sports, of course, but this year especially so in baseball.

I thought a fun exercise would be to go back and honor those who were league winners for a lot of you. What better way to honor real players than with fake All-Star selections?! I’m gonna take a standard lineup of C/1B/2B/3B/SS/OF/OF/OF/UT/UT/SP/SP/RP/RP/P/P/P/P and fill it with the best that the 2020 waiver wire had to offer. In most leagues, most of these guys were drafted late or not at all. Of course in deeper leagues maybe all of them were drafted at some point, but in standard 12-team leagues, almost all of these guys came off the wire.

Without further ado, let’s do it to it!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

All nine wild and crazy weeks are in the books and they sure did feel like a year.  I’ve said it many times, but I never expected us to get to this point.  Call me a cynic, but I obviously underestimated the power of the almighty dollar.  Things looked pretty rocky when we didn’t even make it two weeks before the Marlins were on hiatus, and look at us now, the Marlins are a playoff team!  *Eyeroll*  As wonky as this season was, we still have a Razzball Commenter League champion to crown.  It’s not who you might think either…without further ado, I present to you, our 2020 Razzball Commenter Leagues Champion…Team DFresh!  I may have jinxed Team Tokyo last week, but I really thought they had this thing wrapped up.  I should have known, with this only being week nine, that huge swings could still happen and they did.  DFresh got hot at the right time, jumping from 21st to 2nd last week and taking the top spot this final week thanks to another five league points gained, bringing their total to 116.  That’s a hard total to top, especially combined with a LCI of 114.  With that, Team Tokyo ends up with a hard-luck second overall.  DFresh really rakes it in, winning themselves a $250 Best Buy gift card!  More importantly though, DFresh gets a Razzball T-Shirt and RCL glory.  Who can put a price on that?  Oh, it’s $25, well then, moving on.  DFresh comments around the site from time to time, so the next time you see a comment (likely in this post) be sure to heap on the praise and congratulations.  They fended off some very tough competitors this year to claim the RCL crown including last year’s top finishers, Backdoor Cutters and Fat Fuckin Babies.  This is DFresh’s moment though, so hopefully they pop in, take a bow and soak it up, they earned it.  

Here’s what else what happened this year and this final week of the RCLs:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Hey all! It’s Blair, your 2020 Top 100 starting pitcher ranker. Glad you came along for the ride! Your fantasy season is over now, and hopefully you won the championship, or you made a dent in your dynasty league, or you just managed to stay a bit saner in the depths of the pandemic that’s been clawing away at us for the past six months.

Let’s get the business side out of the way first: if you like what I did with [waves hands around] this series, hop on over to the subscription page and get an ad-free subscription to support me and Grey  and Lauren Holt and Coolwhip and MattTruss and JKJ and, and, and. If you’re not in a place to grab a subscription, then tell your friends about us, or share Razzball content on social media, or, well, just say thank you in the comments and I’ll give you a virtual high five.

Since there’s no longer traditional fantasy baseball going on right now, my weekly series at Razzball is more or less done until spring training. If you want my advice on DFS or dynasty leagues or whatever, feel free to ping me on Twitter, or leave a comment at the bottom of this page, or ask one of the many other talented writers here on Razzball what their opinion of your situation is. Otherwise, I’ll provide some updates on player profiles throughout the winter and I hope you keep coming around to check them out.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Razzball Patreon members receive our weekly podcast where Grey cackles about the funniest news stories we’ve found over the past week, plus you get that warm fuzzy feeling of supporting your favorite fantasy sports site in all the land.

We have a special treat for you this week on the Razzball Patreon Podcast! The not not new takes somewhat of a backseat on this episode as Grey shows off his vocal range with top notch impersonations of Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Robert Deniro, Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, Marlon Brando, Leonard DiCaprio and Sean Connery. Billy adds in his great impressions of Trump, Obama, Bush Sr. and Ross Pero for good measure, as well as a hilarious new character: “Timid Don Corleone.”

But of course the name of the show is still, “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News,” and this weeks outrageous stories will not disappoint either, including the man who saved a half eaten Richard Nixon BBQ buffalo sandwich for 60 years, a ban on pooping on New York City subways and Australian courts rule that employees may now use the toilet and drink water while at work—how progressive. Tune in now for all the laughs and Albright cackles you can handle by signing up for the exclusive Razzball Patreon Club for only $5/month!

Please, blog, may I have some more?