Pirates organization should be on an episode of Botched. Are they the worst organization or what? Hint: The answer is not ‘or what.’ Let’s do a brief recap of what a giant POS team this is. Pirates’ closer, Felipe Vazquez, decided to try to bite off Kyle Crick’s finger last week. A giant piece of garbage move? Well, gee, Wally, I don’t know, it seems like that’s not a nice thing to do. The Pirates are dead-last in the NL Central, as they’re wont to be, so suspend the giant festering wound that is Vazquez, right? Gosh, Ms. Molly, that seems obvious. Well, no, of course not. The Pirates are trying to avoid losing 95 games and only lose 94 games instead, so the Pirates made the chickenshizz move to stick with Vazquez. This is, after all, the club that didn’t want to trade Felipe Vazquez for prospects at the trade deadline. Finishing in last with 94 wins instead of 95 must mean a lot to them. Now, the jagoff that is Vazquez is arrested for being the worst type of human and looks like he’ll never pitch again. No wonder Felipe Vazquez changed his name last year, he’s a giant pedophile creep! You did good, Pirates! Maybe to go with your pitch-to-contact pitching coach, your clueless manager and your maybe-we-can-lose-only-94-games team, you can find another awesome trade like sending Austin Meadows and Tyler Glasnow for Chris Archer. Any hoo! I’d guess Keone Kela or Richard Rodriguez is the closer for the final week-plus, in that order. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Marcus Stroman to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The ones that don’t draft pitching early. The Muslim Mrs. Garretts. The Yu’s that we saw in the 2nd half. The ones that see things differently and not simply the ones who are holding drinking glasses up to their face to make googly eyes. They’re not fond of the rules like: Don’t wear sweatpants every day. And they have no respect for the status quo, because they’ve checked out every time someone defined “status quo” for them. They held onto Yu Darvish (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA at 3.97) all 1st half and were rewarded nicely. Unless he’s just on a team that started checking out fantasy football in June. Back in July, Coolwhip wrote, “I’m not prepared just yet to say he’s back back, but it’s looking like he’s finding his way back. I’ll call him a tentative buy for now, while advising to keep an eye on his walks and I’ll be watching his velocity and arm slot. In fact, I just picked him up where I could to see what happens.” Hashtag nailed it. Prior to that, Darvish had a 5.01 ERA. Since then, 2.44 ERA in 66 1/3 IP. The fix, as we all know by now, he’s stopped walking everyone. His season-long peripherals 11.2 K/9, 3 BB/9, 4.39 FIP are sweet, but his 2nd half peripherals are legendary, and some of the best in baseball — 12.6 K/9, 0.8 BB/9, 3.20 FIP. For 2020, the thought of getting anywhere close to Darvish’s 2nd half has me, not only interested in him, but thinking he could be a steal as a number two fantasy starter. Yu might think I’m crazy, but the crazy ones change the world, or at least do well sometimes in their leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
|Name||Team||Opp. 1||Opp. 2|
I met him at 9:30 club in Washington DC
Where you drink a cold beer and it tastes just like a hoppy ale
N O L A Nola
He walked a batter every now and then
But the 3.02 2nd half ERA and 27% K rate had me wanting Nola
N O L A Nola la-la-la-la Nola
Throwing a 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks game against the 1927 Twins by Lucas Giolito can mean only one thing, today, we celebrate Lucas Giolito’s Star Mitzvah! Mazel tov! Here’s a check for $18. Many blessings from your bubbeleh. But, oy, it’s hot in here, can we turn on the fan? Forget the electric bill for one day, it’s a Star Mitzvah! Your uncle, Shlomo, didn’t retire to Boca Raton and leave me with the money he won from scratch-off tickets so I can’t turn on the fan once in a while. Guys and five girl readers, Giolito is a legend. Who isn’t a Giolito fan? (Besides the Streamonator; why the long face, tin can head?) I’ve already given you my Lucas Giolito 2020 fantasy too, that’s what a legend he is. This is his 2nd insane game this month, and, brucely, it’s more fun to revel in great pitching performances this year than the 400th three-homer game. Last time, I said Giolito would be a top 15 starter. Now I’m starting to think I was being too low. Dude’s so lit he’s got that shizz in his last name! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
A reporter, ducked behind chairs, yells at Aaron Sanchez at his no-hitter, post-game press conference. All we hear is the reporter’s disembodied voice, “Isn’t it true your four-seam spin rate went from 2,300 rpm to 2,565 rpm overnight?” Some reporters move out of the way for the reporter, who is crouched behind the chairs. One reporter recognizes him, asking, “Trevor Bauer, is that you?” What are the Astros feeding their pitchers? Pine tar and they’re being told to eat with their hands. Aaron Sanchez (6 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 2 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 5.76) had a 6.07 ERA before this game! I get it, it was the Mariners, but this is crazy. Sanchez wasn’t usable at all in Toronto. The Astros’ coaching vs. cheating argument: Sanchez did kibosh his sinker, which was by far his worst pitch. Could it have been that easy? How could the Jays not figure this out? I could’ve figured this out! I guess Sanchez’s worth the flier. If he’s fixed, he’s too valuable to ignore. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Only hours after the MLB trade deadline, Donkey Teeth and B_Don are joined by Razzball’s new head prospect writer The Itch (starting Sept 1st). The gang breaks down the fantasy implications of the most impactful deadline deals including the Bauer, Greinke, Stroman, Castellanos, and Gallen trades. Guest Itch also gives his thoughts on the most relevant of the prospects involved in each deal.
Grey is alone in the desert, well that’s not true. He’s there with Ted his faithful, yet hateful pooch, and a few thousand virtual friends. To give the Fantasy Master Lothario some reprieve from his isolation, we hopped onto a podcast and talked about some of the last week in fantasy baseball. Granted that happens every week, but it means a little more now. This man needs us, he needs to talk about Marcus Stroman, the desert heat, Bo Bichette, and going to the movies just for the A/C. Show the man some love and lend your listening ears. Or you can just listen and laugh at him, that works too.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not your Grandfather’s Top 100 Starting Pitchers…
The outpouring of concern over Grandpa-Donk’s well being during Heatwave 2019, has been heart warming. Rest assured, Gramps is still alive and donkey kicking. In fact, last weekend the old jackass worked out in the yard 48 hours straight in the 100-degree heat without stopping for so much as a Señor Crappers change. Once he finished the field labor, G-Donk came inside to make the rest of us pancakes and lemonade–an old Donk family tradition. As Great Gran-Donk always said, “When life gives you apocalyptic weather, make pancakes and lemonade.”
Mmmmm ice cold lemonade: my favorite of the fresh squeezed juices. You know what other juice is worth the squeeze? The Clevinger concentrate. I was skeptical when Mike Clevinger returned from his back injury in mid-June. His first two brutal starts had me strutting around like top donkey, so smart. But since the calendar turned to July, Sunshine has been lights out going 4-0 with a 1.74 ERA, 1.03 WHIP, and 41 strikeouts in 31 innings. Clevinger is extracting juice like a fantasy ace right now and there’s no reason to think the liquid will dry up anytime soon.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can you imagine Marcus Stroman’s reaction?
“You’ve been traded.”
“Awesome! I’m going to a contender!”
“You might want to sit down.”
— Razzball (@Razzball) July 28, 2019
Oh, Marcus Stroman. You poor, poor soul. Can we take bets on how hard the Mets tried to include Mickey Callaway in the deal? It is so Mets to suddenly think of themselves as contenders. Blue Jays to Pirates, “Thank you for making the Mets believe again.” We’ll see how much Stroman enjoys throwing ground ball pitches with that defense behind him. Amed Rosario plays balls two feet to his left into a diving try. Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if this move leads to the Mets trading away Wheeler and Syndergaard, as they change their rotation vs. thinking Stroman is some catalyst. He has a 7.2 K/9, 2.5 BB/9 and 3.52 FIP, so he’s not bad. A bit yawnstipating, but in the NL out of the AL East makes me a buyer of Stroman vs. ignoring him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m not even sure I can imagine how angry I would be if I lost a perfect game in the ninth inning. Over the years I have broken my fair share of tennis rackets, thrown golf clubs and smashed video game controllers. One might say I have a tiny bit of a temper when things don’t go my way. If I were an MLB pitcher I’d prefer to lose my perfect game bids in the first inning, getting it over with early. I’m no math genius or anything like that, but I’ve got to imagine that the odds of pitching a perfect game are about the same as finding a needle in Josh Hamilton’s haystack. Wait, that’s not how it goes. Those are the odds for getting a base hit. Last night Mike Leake took a perfect game into the ninth inning only to have Luis Rengifo leadoff with a single. I’m not even sure I’ve ever heard of this guy who’s 53rd career hit crushed Leake’s dreams. Leake also walked a guy in the ninth, but held on to finish off his complete game shutout, striking out six. A week after being no-hit by the Angels, this would have been quite the reversal of fortunes had they been able to pull of the perfercto. The last Mariners perfect game was pitched by King Felix. I remember that game vividly as I earned over a one hundred points from that performance which saved my week and was the reason I ended up in the playoffs. Long life the king.
Go ahead and tell me this wouldn’t drive you mad.Please, blog, may I have some more?