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I remember my final week of Summer Camp. I was in the Weeniechoke Mountains when I had my first experience with a girl. Her name was Michelle Branch. Not the singer, but a branch I named Michelle. This final week of Summer Camp is equally less-than-ideal for some bullpens. “Certain teams with uncertain ninths.” That’s me being poetic. Michelle Branch would’ve appreciated it. So, Keone Kela hit the IL. As I said in Friday’s Buy, “Kyle Crick stands to act as the Pirates’ closer for at least the re-opening. Crick is also one of the few players who will have a cheering section in the fan-less stadiums.” And that’s me quoting me! Since then, Crick gave up four earned in a third of an inning vs. the Indians and I’m checking my watch for Kela’s return. Nick Burdi is lurking there too, but you’re speculating two deep on a pen that might get ten total saves? Next up, Roberto Osuna hasn’t thrown off the mound yet and, when asked when Osuna would, Dusty said, “We don’t have any answers.” Dusty is reassuring as always! I think Osuna will be fine, since he’s with the team, but Ryan Pressly is there, and ain’t no hound dog. (Sorry. Moving on…) Giovanny Gallegos‘s undisclosed reasons for being away have turned into he’s ‘dis close’ to rejoining the Cards’ bullpen. Likely can tear up your Ryan Helsley shares, they’re doing a backwards STONKS. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Yacht Rock has polluted my brain. I’m singing Bertie Higgins, dressed like Thurston Howell, III, and wearing deodorant that smells like Pina Colada. And the most frightening aspect of the previous sentence is only one of those statements is make-believe!  Cougs figured since I like blended, virgin pineapple drinks it would be a good idea to buy me Pina Colada-scented Suave deodorant. I walk around all day wanting to lick my armpits! I’m damaged! Even more upsetting, I don’t own Xander Bogaerts (3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 26th and 27th homer, hitting .308) or Rafael Devers (2-for-4, 2 runs, 25th homer, hitting .327) in any meaningful way. (I own Bogaerts in one league, but it’s my worst league, so it doesn’t matter.)  I briefly mentioned this yesterday, but last year Betts and Martinez put fantasy owners on their backs (no easy feat for some of you), and this year it’s been all Bogaerts and Devers. On our Player Rater, both guys are top ten for the season (Acuña reached the mountaintop, by the by). Incredibly, neither guy has been lucky. Bogaerts upped his walks; has a BABIP in line with career norms; held all batted ball profile marks from previous years, except raised his launch angle and fly ball rate just a tad. Bingo-bango-Bogaerts! Devers’s numbers are new from him at the major league level, but nothing jumps out as a career year and he’s only 22 years old.  Both guys will and should be highly ranked next year. Now, excuse me, while I go lick my armpits. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Filling out an Evite, “You are invited to join us as our son Rafael Devers is called to the Torah for his Star Mitzvah.  At 10 o’clock in the morning at Temple Kev-in Youkilis across from Merloni’s Bar & Grill. A lunch of kugel and hot dogs will follow the ceremony. In lieu of gifts, please send prayers that Nathan Eovaldi can actually close games. Good Chavis to all.”  Been meaning to send these Evites out for a while, but I was waiting for Devers to finish his Hebrew classes and Alex Cora to name a closer. Yesterday, Devers went 4-for-5, 6 RBIs with his 13th and 14th homer, hitting .329. Think it might be surprising how well Devers is actually doing.  On the Player Rater, he’s breathing down the top 10 for all of fantasy. You hit for a high average, steal some bases, hit some home runs, and hit in the middle of a great lineup? Yeah, that was the recipe for fantasy latkes Andrew Benintendi had been using to make himself a top 20 player previously. Now he’s making the wackness.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

True confession: I can’t cope with trade deadline season. I find it a terrifying time to be 1) a baseball fan (of a team that is in sell mode [cough Blue Jays cough]) and 2) a baseball writer: 1) Because favorite players can be suddenly whisked off to dreaded rivals (I’m looking at you, brand-new-Yankee JA Happ) and 2) because things turn on a dime. For example, when I first started putting this post together, I was all “start Astro X against Cole Hamels!” Now…nope. So when you’re assembling your lineup for FantasyDraft today, I’ll give you the same caveat I give for weather: double-check your lineups before they lock. Anyway! Let’s talk about things that are hopefully more predictable: it’s a Coors day, so hitters gonna hit! (Right? Dear God, please give me something to hold on to in this crazy world.) Of course you’ll pay up for Rockies (Nolan Arenado, $10,400; Charlie Blackmon, $9,900; Trevor Story, $10,300) and A’s bats (Khris Davis, $11,100; Marcus Semien, $9,300), but it may be worth it. Also, Atlanta, second best in the league versus LHP, are seeing lefty Alex Wood today. Pitching options are tougher, but let’s see what we can do with them, after the jump.

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Yesterday, Daniel Poncedeleon was called up and threw no hitter (thru seven innings and then was pulled from game while striking out three hitters, but it’s more fun to say he threw a no-hitter, so ignore this).  Incredibly, Poncedeleon is 478 years old, and he could be the ROY.  *intern whispers in my ear*  That’s an F?  What the hell is, ‘He could be a FOY?’  The fountain of the year?  What are you talking about?  Rookie of the youth?  What are you talking about?  Sorry, having a miscommunication with my intern.  Any hoo!  In Triple-A, he had a 10.1 K/9 — up my giddy! — a 4.7 BB/9 — put my roll on slow! — a 2.15 ERA — getting the fever! — with a 4.99 xFIP — so I’m taking some ‘Tussin.  He might surprise some major league lineups, but he could easily go out and destroy you.  By the way, Bartolo Colon is so intent on 300 wins that he might follow Poncedeleon wherever he goes.  On the reals, Poncedeleon’s dad in the stands after his son threw seven no-hit innings gave me the feels, especially when you figure his dad has to be at least 498 years old.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I wanna geek out for a second.  You with me?  Orf course you are, because I say “Orf course” and you’re still reading!  Entering yesterday’s game Anthony Rendon (3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 14th and 15th homer, hitting .285) was 19th overall for 3rd basemen on the Player Rater, in a virtual tie with Miguel Andujar and Ryon Healy and right behind Derek Dietrich.  Hey, over-the-internet friend, that’s awful.  Third basemen are not exactly stacked like hamburgers at IHOB either.  There’s seven top tier ones ($17+).  For context, there’s ten elite shortstops.  There’s 16 shortstops at $11+, and only eleven 3rd basemen.  I don’t think you heard me, Derek Dietrich has been more valuable than Rendon so far this year, or sofa if you’re reading in a furniture store.  Rendon already spent the 1st half taking the craps out, so, yo, I think he can roll up to 7 at the position by season’s end.  The route he’s taken has definitely been the hard way.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I hope everyone enjoyed themselves on America’s Holiday.  Everyone kept their fingers intact I presume. Unlike the past few Thursdays we actually have ourselves a pretty awesome slate tonight.  However, I still find us having but one pitcher worth starting, especially in cash games, which means you’ll have to beat the field with your bats.  In GPPs, things get a little dicey, but I’d probably still roll with the high-priced favorite, Justin Verlander there too.  Verlander checks in at a whopping $12,200 today, $3,900 more than the next starter, Johnny Cueto.  Verlander is at home against the two man offense that is the Chicago White Sox. Their .708 team OPS and current league leading 820 strikeouts (tied with the Texas Rangers) means Verlander should go for 40+ FanDuel points easy.  Lock him in and let’s dig for some value bats!

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Zack Greinke went 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 2nd steal, hitting .300–Oops, sorry!  The only pitcher whose hitting stats matter are Shohei Ohtani, because he can’t pitch anymore.  That tracks logically.  Has any site that made Ohtani a hitter and pitcher clarified why?  Because there was public pressure to make him both?  Because he was going to do both?  Doesn’t every pitcher do both?  Ohtani’s not going to throw more than 50 IP this year, which is, what, a quarter of a full season for a starter?  That’s doing both?  I know, I’m just being a hater, but it does feel like there was a double standard given to Ohtani without him actually doing anything, and he had 25 IP thrown dating back to 2016.  Any hoo!  Greinke!  Yes, he was awesome again — 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.41.  His peripherals are also one of the few pitchers who is doing well that could do better — 9.4 K/9, 1.7 BB/9, 3.35 xFIP.  His velocity is down two miles per hour and I’d be lying if I said I was going after him hard, unless, of course, he’s eligible as a hitter.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve reached the part of the baseball season where you must open your mind to improving performances. Not every bad start continues into a bad season. These guys are professionals. They make adjustments. Players like Zack Godley start to remind us why we liked them in March. Make adjustments yourself and get a leg up on Draft.com.

New to Draft.com? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

True Story Alert!  Justin Bieber used to live about two blocks away from Cougs and I.  Honestly, he might still live there, but I doubt it because I no longer go to the supermarket (block between us) and hear this, “BIEBER, I LOVE YOU.  HERE IS MY VIRGINITY.  LITERALLY TAKE IT FROM ME.  PLEASE!!!”  Also, I no longer have to jostle between TMZ cameramen for my kombucha.  Here’s a story about how he wanted to put a skatepark into his condo.  Dude, LA’s special.  Any hoo!  Yesterday, I was screaming like a 15-year-old girl for Shane Bieber to remove my sexual flower for the first few innings, then he ran into some trouble in the 5th, when it became apparent major league hitters (even the bottom of the Twins’ order; Ryan LaMarre, really?) are not quite who he was blowing away in the minors this year (1.05 ERA, 8.1 K/9, 0.5 BB/9).  He worked consistently down in the strike zone with a 93 MPH fastball, and broke off, uh, breaking stuff off down and outside.  There wasn’t a ton of hard contact until the 6th inning, which was a quick turnaround on a 5th inning, which saw him clearly winded — final line, 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners (1 BB), 6 Ks.  I’m interested in him in deeper mixed leagues, but he looks like he will have the usual rookie pitcher lumps.  For what it’s Werth, he’s the 9th best starter on the Prospect-o-Nator, which lists all rookie pitcher projections.  Plus, no reports of this Bieber wanting a skatepark.  That’s good.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now, on most occasions, if one were to toot his own horn, he’d never leave the house.  And, coincidentally, I don’t go out that much.  However, seriously, rain down your props on me for Nick Pivetta.  Rain them down!  Who else told you to grab him the 1st week of the season?  Yesterday, he went 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.72.  I’ve been telling you people — yeah, you people! — to own Pivetta forever (six weeks).  He’s a new, different — better even! — pitcher this year.  He has a 10 K/9 and 2.2 BB/9.  If you don’t know why that’s good, I can help you, but it could take some time.  You do know what numbers are, right?  Okay, good first step.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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We all know what to hoist by one’s own petard means, right?  It’s like when Wile E. Coyote tries to drop a cannonball on the Road Runner, but the cannonball’s heft breaks off the cliff and plunges Wile E. to his untimely demise.  (Clearly, the best Shakespearean example.)  That’s how I feel about rookie pitchers.  You grab them because of the upside, then hoist them up and they roofie you and, next thing you know, your kidney is replacing El Chapo’s.  On the Prospect-o-Nator, Alex Reyes is the 2nd best rookie pitcher this year, behind Walker Buehler.  Clearly, Alex Reyes needs to be owned, but he’s A) Rookie.  B)  Returning from Tommy John surgery.  C) There’s no C.  If things break right, he could be an ace for the last four months of the season.  If things break wrong, your fantasy team could plunge to its untimely demise.  Remember, never go full petard.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?