Happy weekend, Razzball faithful!

No matter how excited you are for the long weekend, I bet I can find someone who was a heck of a lot happier yesterday…

Ted is only four years younger than Konnor Griffin

— Razzball (@razzball.bsky.social) 2026-04-03T16:39:39.317Z

Ok, so I’ll admit this was supposed to be a video of Griffin talking to the media about his call-up, but when I opened BlueSky to copy the link… well, you know what happened.

Let’s agree that Konnor Griffin is almost as much of a good boy as this guy.

But did Ted produce at the plate like the 19-year-old rookie did yesterday? I’m guessing no (but I wouldn’t doubt he could catch a scorching one-hopper better than Ozzie Smith could).

It was a short-lived minor league assignment for Konnor Griffin (1-for-3, R, RBI, 2B), who made his major league debut on Friday in the Pirates’ home opener. 

And you know how I know I’m excited to see this kid succeed? I didn’t even let the fact that he pumped a two-bagger off of Kyle Bradish phase me. 

(Ok, maybe it phased me a little)

Rudy has updated Konnor Griffin’s season projections on the site, and they’re a thing of beauty.

You can pick your favorite of these two. Bottom line? This kid is here, with a big old bag of money (he signed a 9-year, $140 million extension yesterday morning), and he’s ready to produce. 

As a final note here, the double was awesome. The speed was on full display, too. But the ABS challenge in the 5th to successfully overturn a strikeout call? I mean, come on, if you still think this kid isn’t ready, you’ll need to tune in and watch him live. 

We know that Pirates fans are dancing in the streets for the first time in decades, but was there anything else in the league to get excited about from yesterday’s MLB action?

Here’s what else I saw in Fantasy Baseball last night…

Emmett Sheehan – 5.2 IP, 4 ER, 7 H, 3 BB, 2 Ks. ERA at 8.00, WHIP at 1.89. Let’s remember that this time of year is similar to what you’d say to someone expecting Jesus to show up on Saturday: “It’s still early”.

Shohei Ohtani – 2-for-5, R, 4 RBI, HR (1). Batting .217. Meh. Pitchers aren’t supposed to hit for average anyway.

Kyle Tucker – 3-for-6, 2 R, 2 RBI, HR (1). Batting .241. Great. Just what the rest of the league needs. Another one of these superstars is getting hot.

Mookie Betts – 2-for-6, 2 R, 2 RBI, HR (2). Batting .179. Oh, hey, look! It’s another superstar! This one is known as “Mookie My Pookie” in MarmoLand, because my youngest is (somehow) a Dodgers fan. Don’t worry, I routinely bring him crackers and water out to the shed that we banished him to last year after the World Series.

Freddie Freeman – 1-for-4, R, 2 RBI, HR (2). Batting ..214. Oh, look! Another home run. 

Teoscar Hernandez – 3-for-4, 3 R, RBI. Batting .320. HA! No home run here, suckers! Let’s not forget that the Blue Jays jettisoned this guy for Adam Macko and a dude who retired last year (Erik Swanson). 

Andy Pages – 3-for-4, 2 R, 2 RBI, HR (2). Batting .480. Another home run?!. Aw, come on! (Seriously, though, the Andy Pages breakout bus is packed and leaving the terminal. You might want to get in while you still can!)

Miles Mikolas – 4.1 IP, 11 ER, 11 H, BB, 4 Ks, and the loss (2). ERA at 14.46. WHIP at 2.25. I’ll write this one up so I can hyperlink it when anyone asks why Mikolas isn’t on the Top 100 SP list. Apparently, someone forgot to let Mister Miles know that the best way to conserve a 3-0 lead in the 2nd inning was NOT to pretend that he was throwing in a home run derby. I don’t blame him, though. That lineup should be the same one that the NL sends out at the All-Star break.

CJ Abrams – 2-for-5, R, 4 RBI, HR (2). That’s two games and two home runs for Abrams. Batting .269. Speaking of, “Don’t overreact, it’s early,” I sent this photo to the Discord group yesterday after I managed to sit down for about 5 minutes before I had to go inside and make lunch for the Mini-Marmos.

The good news for Dodger fans is that it didn’t take too long for the superheroes from the city of angels to erase that 3-0 deficit.

Framber Valdez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 5 Ks, and his first win as a Tiger. ERA at 0.75. WHIP at 1.083. What a start for Detroit’s ace! (but, ya, they still have that other guy too). All jokes aside, Framber was dealing in this one.

Riley Greene – 2-for-4, R, RBI, 2B. Batting .241. Greene is warming up a few weeks early ahead of April 20th.

Dillon Dingler – 1-for-4, R, 2 RBI, HR (2). Batting .300. More like Dillon DONGler! High five me!

Michael McGreevy – 4.2 IP, 3 ER, 7 H, 0 BB, 4 Ks, and the loss. McGreevy wasn’t so McGroovy in this one.

Victor Scott – 1-for-4. One of five singles from the Cards yesterday. And the only reason why I wrote this one up is that Scott couldn’t even give us an SB with it. If your league counts sick assists from RF, you can look up the Jordan Walker hose job on Javier Baez at the plate to finish off the 3rd inning.

Dylan Cease – 4.1 IP, 2 ER, 5 H, 3 BB, 6 Ks. ERA at 2.79. WHIP at 1.35. The whiffs were there (16), but it took him 93 pitches to get 13 outs. He gets the Avengers at home this week.

Andres Gimenez – 1-for-4, R, 2 RBI, HR (2), batting .346. The WBC title was a big moment for the Jays’ shortstop, and he’s ridden that into a hot start to the season. He looks confident and is swinging the bat well.

Kazuma Okamoto – 0-for-4, 4 Ks. Oka-Oh-No.

Jeff Hoffman – 0.2 IP, 0 ER, 2 R, K, and the loss. This one wasn’t entirely The Hoff’s fault. After Alejandro Kirk took a ball off the thumb, his replacement, Tyler Heinemann, came in, fielded a Derek Hill bunt perfectly…and threw the ball into right field. That scored the tying run, then Tristan Peters slapped the game-winning hit into RF to finish it off.

Sean Burke – 6 IP, ER, 4 H, 0 BB, 7 Ks, and the no-decision. He followed opener Grant Taylor’s one scoreless inning. Burke’s fastball was full of juice yesterday. He should get a regular turn in the rotation, but following an opener could be the next assignment again, as it worked well yesterday.

Miguel Vargas – 0-for-4, 2 R, SB (2), batting .217.

Seranthony Dominguez – 1.1 IP, 0 ER, R, 0 H, 0 BB, 2 Ks, and the win in extras. Jordan Leasure gave up two runs in the 8th, then, after Sean Newcomb got two outs in the ninth, Dominguez came in for the four-out win.

Will Warren – 5.2 IP, 2 ER, 4 H, 0 BB, 6 Ks, 2 HR allowed. Aside from the two homers, Warren looked solid in his first win of the year.

Aaron Judge – 2-for-3, 2 R, 3 RBI, HR (3). Batting .185. This would’ve been much more fun if it were a foul ball that spun back and hit Michael Kay in the voice box.

Ben Rice – 2-for-5, R, 3 RBI, HR (2). Batting .409. It’s an early-season victory lap for the draft room folks who snagged themselves a second-round serving of steaming hot Rice. He missed out on the second bomb by inches (doubled off the top of the RF wall).

Jazz Chisholm – 1-for-3, R, 2 SB (4). Batting .192. It’s a free agent year for Jazz, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he bebopped to a 30/30 floor.

Eury Perez – 4 IP, 4 ER, 2 H, 6 BB, 4 Ks, and the loss. ERA at 5.73. WHIP at 1.273. A half a dozen walks? Oh boy. Don’t tell the Eury-heads about this one. They’ll have to cancel the Cy Young parade.

Owen Caissie – 1-for-3, R, RBI, HR (2). Blame Canada! The .348 average is impressive, but the .485 average is even more impressive after the Canadian exchange rate is applied.

Sonny Gray – 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 H, 0 BB, 3 Ks, and the win. Mr Underrated with a nice bounceback from last week’s short outing in Cincy.

Marcelo Mayer – 2-for-2, 2 R, 2 RBI, HR (1). Batting .296. Deuces are wild!!

Willson Contreras – 1-for-3, R, RBI, HR (1). Batting .174. Well, Tristan Casas has 3 HR in the minors and is hitting a whopping .008 points higher in the great batting average race.

Aroldis Chapman – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 1 BB, 1 K, and the save (2). Topped out at 99.3 MPH in this one.

Michael King – 5.2 IP, 4 ER, 7 H, BB, 5 Ks, and the loss. ERA at 3.38. WHIP at 1.22.

Xander Bogaerts – 0-for-4. Batting .143. Nothing much to report here as far as stats go, but a pretty cool moment as it was Xander’s first visit back to Fenway since leaving the Red Sox.

Gavin Sheets – 2-for-3, R, RBI. Batting .250. You know it’s a rough game when a two-hit game from Gavin Sheets is the only news on the hitting side.

Brady Singer – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, BB, 5 Ks, and the no-decision.

Elly De La Cruz – 1-for-4, R, RBI, HR (3). Batting .213.

Spencer Steer – 2-for-4, 2 R, 2 RBI, HR (1). Batting .143. Are any of these guys hitting over .230?!

Tyler Stephenson – 2-for-4, R, 2 RBI, HR (1). Batting .176. This one was the go-ahead home run in the top of the 9th inning. 

Emilio Pagan – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 0 BB, K, and his 2nd save.

MacKenzie Gore – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 9 Ks, and the no-decision. He got tagged for a two-run HR by Spencer Steer and that solo bomb from Elly, but other than that, the line was solid. 

Brandon Nimmo – 2-for-4, R, 3B. There wasn’t much to report on outside of a 2-RBI game from Danny Jansen, but at least Brandon Nimmo isn’t one of these schmoes hitting 40 points less than their weight. He’s up to .379.

Joe Boyle – 5.1 IP, 2 ER, 4 H, 3 BB, 9 Ks, He got hosed when Carson Williams booted a tailor-made double play ball in the 4th inning, which, of course, led to the unearned run that cost Boyle a shot at the win.

Kevin Kelly – 0.2 IP, 5 ER, 2 H, 2 BB, 1 K. Those walks were with the bases loaded. Uh…about that loss. Oof.

Nick Fortes – 1-for-3, R, 2 RBI, 2B. Batting .348. “Fortes is the first Rays catcher to reach base safely in the team’s first 6 games”. That’s for all of you Tampa Bay obscure trivia junkies.

Bailey Ober – Another 4-inning drag on 82 pitches. And he gets the Tigers this Wednesday. Ugh.

Tristan Gray – 1-for-5, R, 5 RBI, HR (1). He sounds like a character who should have his own set of romance novels. I guess “Tristan Gray’s Grand Slam” would take on a whole different meaning, then. Spicy.

Josh Bell – 2-for-5, 2 R, 2 RBI, batting .261. For whom the Bell tolls? Ya, it’s Minnesota. That is, until the trade deadline.

Trea Turner – 3-for-4, 2 R, RBI, 2B. Batting .267. This was one of those ‘stat-padding’ games for the Phillies.

Brandon Marsh – 1-for-5, R, 3 RBI, HR (1). Batting .320. And the homer was a 454-foot jobber on an 0-2 count. As a drunk Uncle Jesse would say, “Have Marshy”.

Kyle Schwarber -1-for-3, 2 R, RBI, HR (3). Batting ..200. Nice of Schwarber to show up Brandon Marsh with a 460-foot home run in the 5th inning. He must have been jealous and wanted the day’s ‘tale of the tape’.

Bryce Harper – 2-for-3, 2 R, RBI, 2B, HR (2). Batting .179. Alec Bohm and Bryson Stott had multi-hit games in this one, too.

Aaron Nola – 6.1 IP, 1 ER, 5 H, BB, 9 Ks. ERA at 3.18. WHIP at 1.15. I really don’t want to move him up in the Top 100, but this start is about as perfect as his managers were expecting. He could’ve been a lot worse and still registered the win.

Michael Lorenzen – 3 IP, 9 ER, 12 H, 2 BB, 2 Ks, 2 HR allowed. ERA at 14.73. WHIP 2.86. I thought of one thing when I saw this line.

Almost the same. Except for the two-hit shutout part.

With apologies to Willi Castro’s RBI single, there wasn’t anything else to note on the offensive side from the Rockies that wasn’t, uh, offensive.

Cade Horton – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 1 BB, and a lot of worried Cubs fans as he was lifted in the 2nd inning with “right forearm discomfort”. Horton hears a pop? No matter what Horton heard, this news is not good! He spoke with the media after the game, so the silver lining here is that at least he wasn’t immediately rushed to the hospital or kept in the trainer’s room.

Pete Crow Armstrong – 1-for-3, R, 2B, SB (3). Batting .269. This wasn’t all that exciting of a stat line, but it’s a nice reassurance that the hustle is there. PCA’s “double” was actually a pop-up to shallow left field that dropped into the Bermuda triangle of Jose Ramirez, Gabriel Arias, and Steven Kwan. Then, three pitches later, PCA stole third base. 

Hunter Harvey – 0.2 IP, 3 ER, 2 H, BB, 2 HR allowed. Colin Rea and Hony Milner kept Chicago in it after Horton left early, but HH managed to blow any chance at a W pretty quickly.

Joey Cantillo – 5.1 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 2 BB, 6 Ks. The earned run was more about that Bermuda triangle mishap than anything Cantillo did wrong. 

Chase DeLauter – 3-for-4, R, 3 RBI, HR (5), and can we just give him the rookie of the year award now? 

Cade Smith – 1.0 IP, 0 ER, 1 H, 0 BB, 3 Ks, and his 3rd save. Almost as perfect as it gets.

Kyle Bradish – 4 IP, 4 ER, 6 H, 3 BB, 6 Ks. Hey, man. Someone has to serve up the excitement when a top prospect comes up to the bigs. Bradish gets a pass for being the lone frowny face in a river of PNC smiles.

Gunnar Henderson – 3-for-5, 2 R, 1 RBI, 2B, HR (2). Batting .233. The double broke up the shutout for the Pirates, but the Rutschman single (and one base error advancement) was even better. If you guessed that the extra base was because Oneil Cruz booted an easy-to-field ground ball in CF, congratulations. You win an over-the-internet high five.

Mitch Keller – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 4 BB, 4 Ks, and his first win. The King of the Quality Start is back at it again.

Gregory Soto – 1 IP, ER, 1 H, HR, 0 BB, 3 Ks, and his first save. Nice to see Dennis Santana come in for the…wait, what? The 8th inning? I guess those of us in SVHD leagues don’t care much, but this is something to keep an eye on in those save-only leagues.

Grant Holmes – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 H, 3 BB, 4 Ks, and the no-decision. ERA at 2.45. WHIP at 1.00. He retired 16 D-Backs before allowing a hit. This one is going to ruffle a bunch of fantasy feathers if I don’t add him to the Top 100 Starting Pitchers list on Monday. We may have to go to the hair for the tiebreaker.

Ozzie Albies – 3-for-4, R, RBI, HR (2). Batting .355. It’s always fun when the announcers set things up perfectly. This was the quote just before Albies sent a nuke into the RF stands off Paul Sewald: “Ozzie Albies will lead off against Sewald. Ozzie…is 2-for-7 in his career versus Sewald, and both hits were home runs!” Whammy.

Matt Olson – 1-for-4, R, RBI, HR (2). Batting .313. The home run would’ve been Olson’s second XBH if it weren’t for a nifty jumping catch by Corbin Carroll at the warning track in the top of the 1st inning.

Eduardo Rodriguez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 3 Ks, and the no-decision. ERA at 0.000000. WHIP at 0.917. Ok, kids. You can have Grant Holmes or Eduardo Rodriguez added to the Top 100 on Monday, but you can’t have both. It’ll spoil your dinner.

Raisel Iglesias – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 0 BB, 0 K, and his first save.

Nolan McLean – 5.1 IP, 1 ER, 1 H, 2 BB, 4Ks, and his first win of the year. What’s that? Are you looking for a breakout pitcher? Oh, I Noah guy.

Juan Soto – 1-for-1 and removed from the game in the first inning with right calf tightness. Don’t get mad at me! I’m just the messenger!

Marcus Semien – 3-for-5, R, 3 RBI, HR (1). Batting .214. A big shot to CF for Semien’s first of the year.

Francisco Alvarez – 2-for-5, 2 R, 2 RBI, 2 HR (3). Batting .286. Straight from the “anything you can do…” department. 

Bo Bichette – 3-for-5, 2 R, 1 RBI, 2B. Batting .194. And, yes, he still has more errors (1) than home runs (0).

Tyler Mahle – 5 IP, 5 ER, 8 H, 2 BB, 4 Ks, 2 HR allowed, and the loss (0-2). ERA at 7.00. WHIP at 1.778. There was a time when I was worried that leaving Mahle off the Top 100 Starting Pitchers list was going to come back to haunt me. Let’s just say I don’t need Dan Ackroyd and Bill Murray to take care of that anymore.

Cristian Javier – 3.2 IP, 6 ER, 6 H, 5 BB, 2 Ks. Well, at least I know there’s one guy that people won’t be clamoring for in the Top 100 on Monday. 

Yainer Diaz – 2-for-3, R, RBI, 2B. Batting .227. Marla Gibbs approves!

Jeffrey Springs – 6 IP, 1 ER, 2 H, 1 BB, 7 Ks, and his first win of the season. ERA at 2.38. WHIP at 0.971. He’ll be in the Stumpers group on Monday with a chance to break onto the list if he puts up a couple more starts like this one.

Max Muncy – Nope. Not that one. 3-for-4, 2 R, 3 RBI, 2B, HR (2). Batting .269. A solid night, only to be outdone by…

Lawrence Butler – 3-for-5, 2 R, 4 RBI, HR (1). Batting .235. What a night from the Butler! Robert Guillaume would approve! If I didn’t alienate myself enough with the Marla Gibbs reference, this one should seal the deal.

Bryan Woo – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 H, 1 BB, 6 Ks. ERA at 1.38. WHIP at 0.0538. A one-hitter from the Woo-bot?! That’s an easy win, right? <insert Padme meme here> That’s an easy win…RIGHT?!

Cole Young – 1-for-4, R, RBI, 3B. Batting .310. This was the go-ahead triple in extra innings that missed leaving the park by inches. 

Andres Munoz – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 0 BB, 3 Ks, and the win. ERA at 6.00. WHIP at 1.00.

Mike Trout – 0-for-2, R. Batting .240. Uh…Bryan Woo threw one at Trout’s head in the first inning, then drilled the outfielder in the left shoulder with the next pitch. I don’t know how to break that one down other than to say I’m glad he didn’t rush the mound.

Reid Detmers – 6.2 IP, 0 ER, 3 H, 4 BB, 4 Ks on 104 pitches. Detmers was just as good as Woo was last night, matching him pitch for pitch. He also matched him HBP for HBP, drilling Julio Rodriguez in the leg in the 4th inning as a considerate reciprocation for Woo’s Trout plunking.

 

That’s all for this week’s roundup! Come see me on Monday when I have an updated Top 100 Starting Pitchers list with new Jumpers, Dumpers, and all of the regular goodies.

Follow me @marmosdad on Twitter/X and Bluesky @marmosdad.bsky.social