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Please see our player page for Tristan Gray to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Willson Contreras (1-for-3 and his 20th homer) giving the winning run to Adam Wainwright (7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 7.40) for his 200th win is severely throwing off the Comatose Cardinals Fan. “Okay, I’ve been doing a snooze button for what? Ten days? Weeks? Months? Wow, that’s wild. I feel great! Good to see Adam Wainwright pitching, too bad he allowed that homer to Contreras. Those pesky Cubs, amiright? I’m not right? Hmm, I might need to sit down. Wait a minute, I am sitting? In a jar of formaldehyde?” Maybe because I’m old enough to remember the days of 300 wins by a starter (not in one year, I’m not that old), but 200 wins feels significant. Not sure we ever see another one. Gerrit Cole is the closet (not officially, but Johnny Cueto’s not winning ten more, let alone 57 more), and Cole’s five years away, at least, which assumes health. I used to laugh that deGrom was one of the best pitchers of his generation and he won’t crack 100 wins, but a lot of pitchers won’t. Wainwright is a throwback to a bygone era. An era when pitchers started the game in the 1st inning, and went as long as they could. Sometimes, that meant all the way to 200 wins. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Was announced on Saturday that Shohei Ohtani is done for the year. Though, it doesn’t mean he’s done with the Angels. He can re-sign–I am effin’ around! Of course he’s done with the Angels! Be thankful he doesn’t return to Japan after playing with the Angels. He left the Angels and a 212-pound Tim Salmon was lifted off his shoulders. A 20-year Rally Monkey’s Paw curse that festered under his skin for years must now be exfoliated away with Mariners’ skin cream. Thank God, Ohtani was able to walk away from that barge of bad luck in Anaheim. The Angels turn even the most bright-eyed, bushy-tailed among us into Danny Glover on a toilet about to explode. As Ohtani emptied his locker, it became clear the Angels were one of the best teams to stream against these final two weeks, and Sawyer Gipson-Long (5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.70) took advantage. Long made short work of the Angels, but is he actually, pause for drama, good? He has three pitches (four but uses three).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m going to keep this brief, because it’s more or less an intro in the middle of a post. Or maybe it’s because I’m lazy. Or maybe the W is ruined on my computer? Then again you saw that perfectly healthy W, so that’s not going to work as an excuse. But I’m too lazy to come up with another. Blah, blah, blah, stuff, stuff, oh yeah! I released the Top 25 First Year Player Draft Rankings on Wednesday, because I wanted to take your work week bathroom reading to the next level. Can’t have a newcomer just show up and steal the show. Not that there’s a new comer, but Lance has been known to steal the show. That’s if by “the show” you mean “my pants” (heart eyes emoji). But in all seriousness, Lance stole my pants. Okay, I’m done with the buffoonery I pinkie swear! Below is the next 25 players on my big board for first year player drafts. Keep in mind, every league’s scoring can be slightly different, so adjust accordingly, and use my words to guide you. I’m Prospect Mufasa. Onto picks 26-50!

Please, blog, may I have some more?