Under the arch in St. Louis, the weather is heating up and so are the bats of two Nolans. Between Nolan Arenado and Nolan Gorman, the Cardinals boast two of the hottest bats in recent weeks. Over the last 14 days, a total of 12 home runs, 19 runs and 33 RBI has turned the disaster of a season for the Cardinals into some form of senseless hope that the NL Central loves to foster. Between a potential future hall of farmer in Arenado and a young 23-year-old bat figuring things out at the major league level, our Top 100 hitters see the law firm of Nolan and Nolan moving on up. Who else is gaining value for the rest of the season? Read on as we dive into the Top 100 hitters for the rest of the 2023 fantasy baseball season.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jazz Chisholm
Howdy Razzkin! First, the title is outsourced this week. My predecessor JKJ casually dropped “Anthony Rendoff” in the Razzball chat I am not supposed to talk about, and there was no way I was not going to use it for this edition of Ambulance Chasers. Thank you and, also, damn you, JKJ! It got a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Domingo German was coasting once again, had the line 3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.75, when he was ejected for sticky substance. Oh, Domingoo, you giant freakin’ moron. What’s the German word for hearing the Jays talk about the Yankees cheating and thinking, “Hey, that’s a good idea?” Fadenfraud. Also, this whole “touching a guy’s hand” to see if there’s anything on it is so hilariously stupid. Like touching a guy’s hand is scientific. The Handump’s Tale, a dystopian story of how one umpire touched things and was able to discern what on earth was on someone’s hand. “That’s chewing gum and the adhesive from a baby’s diaper.” Umps touching pitchers’ hands is like Name That Tune, but with touching. Domingo German, though, this guy’s a real bumbling idiot:
Domingo German the most inept cheater pic.twitter.com/dqJNqsdR5P
— Razzball (@Razzball) May 17, 2023
He’s like the kid who has ice cream all over his shirt then says, “I didn’t eat ice cream.” You’re covered in it, you absolute ding dong! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
JP France Can Be Your Ally
May 13, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 29 Commentsby: Dan Pants
So you missed out on the rookie pitcher sweepstakes, or you just grabbed one of the wrong ones? Pfaadt? Gavin Stone? Eury Perez long gone? Enter J.P. France, whose initials I can only assume stand for Jacques Philippe, who pitched six and two-thirds innings of one-run baseball Friday night with three strikeouts and his first […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?
I usually like to start with something like, it’s been a wild, unpredictable season in the outfield thus far! But when you look closely – and see Ronald Acuna, Randy Arozarena, Adolis Garcia and Mike Trout in the top four – nothing strikes you as particularly unbelievable. As you work your way down in the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Aaaand we’re back! Aaand wait–where’s all the baseball games? I had heard they were doing beisbol again this year only way faster and with even more rules? Sounds like fun! I just left my COVID-proof bacta-tank where I now spend the entire offseason. I only leave to write blog posts, see Marvel movies, and watch […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?
SAGNOF: Quantity Over Quality
March 15, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, SAGNOF, Steals | 2 Commentsby: MarmosDad
Hey Razzball faithful! I’m back again for another installment of SAGNOF Wednesday! Hopefully, you’ve had some time to stretch out on the couch and watch a bit of the WBC this week. More importantly, I also hope that you’ve been dodging any and all snipes as you draft through these early March fantasy leagues. I’m […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?It was a wild offseason for the National League, one highlighted by Trea Turner’s lucrative ($300 million) transition from the Dodgers to Phillies, along with fellow shortstop Xander Bogaerts’ introduction to the NL, via the San Diego Padres and $280 mil of his own. Two of the absolute best shortstops in the game are anchored […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ambulance Chasers: The Return Of Ozzie Ow-bies
February 25, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Injury Report | 3 Commentsby: keelinbillue
Welcome to this week’s edition of Razzball Ambulance Chasers, your fantasy baseball doom and gloom report. Sponsored by Monistat (surprise, Razzball staff!). Earlier in the week, I had the pleasure of joining Roto-Wan for Knight Of The RazzTable: Albies There For You, which you should read. Wan tasked two of us with sharing our thoughts […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Vientos – The Metsmaker
September 12, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 186 Commentsby: Grey
Fresh goes better in life with Vientos, fresh and full of life! Ahh…The Metsmaker! Sorry, that was stuck in my head. Now, hopefully, it’s stuck in your head too. Mets called up their next great hitting prospect, Mark Vientos, after Starling Marte went to the IL. Can Vientos play outfield? Absolutely not. Can Vientos run? His speed has been described as “an 80-year-old baby crawling with tennis balls on its knees.” Can Vientos hit bombs? To the freakin’ moon! He kinda reminds me of a young Evan Longoria. Now take everything you’ve thought about Longoria over the last seven years, scrub it from your brain, and think about Longoria as if this is 2016. Your brain in 2016, “Rays should lock this Longoria guy up for another ten years! He’s amazing! Wait! They let Longoria go? Wow, what a mistake! They just let a perennial 30+ homer, .270 hitter go! Rays will be in last place for the next decade. What a bunch of losers!” So, your 2016 brain is kinda remembering correctly. Longo was good at that point. Mark Vientos can be good too. Prospect Itch has more concerns about his batting average in his top 100 prospects. For this year, do I want Mark Vientos in a redraft league? No, I’d want Eduardo Escobar. Or maybe even Evan Longoria. Anyway. here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Bleday Is The Greatest Bleday I’ve Ever Known
July 25, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 245 Commentsby: Grey
Deejay, “Hey, welcome back to Bleday! We are your nonstop rap, hip-hop, trip-hop, bounce, cloud rap, road rap, Christmas rap, Hanukkah rap, Jerkin’, freestyle, trap, but no Jazz rap, he’s out with a stress fracture in his back. Now, let’s boogie for the 2nd half of the season!” Wait, that was me at the end. Was it clearly not me prior to that? Yes? Okay, great. So, JJ Bleday (2-for-4, 1 run and his 1st steal) was called up by the Marlins. Fun fact! Bleday is the rap station in Los Angeles. A less fun fact is Bleday was hitting .228 in Triple-A. He hits everything in the air, which isn’t bad for a power hitter, but it will mean not a lot on average, and, while he stole on Sunday, he doesn’t have a lot of speed either. Think a young Rhys Hoskins. Call him Mees Hoskids, because the JJ stands for Jar Jar. Bleday should see playing time, along with Bryan De La Cruz (2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer), because Jorge Soler hit the IL, i.e., Bryan De La Soler is plug one. Bleday, plug two. De La Soler, plug one. Bleday, plug two. Anyway. here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Top 100 for 2nd Half of 2022 Fantasy Baseball
July 19, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings, Featured | 410 Commentsby: Grey
Welcome, prematurely balding men and five women who are married to PBMs and decided if you can’t beat them, join them! Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long post. Here, enjoy some coffee. Oops, you just drank rat poison. I should’ve used different mugs. Don’t worry, it can’t be worse than rostering Jonathan India in the 1st half. Oh, you rostered him, and that’s why you drank the poison? Now, I’m following! Hey, I’m supposed to be leading! *does a teapot with both hands on hips and shakes head* Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2022 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up! But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest! So, as with all of the other 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, slop this up with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put Aaron Judge number one, and he could pull a–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with the top players after we lost Tatis this preseason. As I say about the Giancarlo underwear I bought off eBay, why soil a good thing? This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while Juan Soto did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because, well, we have to believe in miracles — my 12-year-old self would want that, and to sleep with Cher. 12-year-old Grey loved Cher. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2022. I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do. It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone. Welcome to the future! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2022:
Please, blog, may I have some more?