Brewers Dry-Hop, Mash, And Bottle Up Reds

The Brewers asked the baseball world to hold their beers on Friday night while they brewed up a blowout, and switched from pounding beers to pounding the Cincinnati Reds to the tune of a 20-0 shut out on twenty-three hits, and four home runs. This was somehow Milwaukee’s second twenty run shut out this year (a record!) and they clinched their playoff berth with the beatdown. Leading the way, as much as one can in a 20-0 game, Brice Turang went 3-for-3 with his 18th home run, a 3-run shot that made it 6-0 and it just snowballed from there. Or should I say malted? Jake Bauers decided to get in on the fun and hit his 25th bomb to make it 8-0 in the second inning. That’s a six run inning for those counting at home. Three innings later Garrett Mitchell went grand salami style to make it 17-0 in the fifth! Believe it or not this was the Brewers first grandy of the year! How even! William Contreras capped off the historic night with a home run of his own in the 8th that put a brewers fork in this one and clinched Milwaukee’s eighth playoff berth in nine years. Bernie’s gotta be tired of the slide at this point. Starting to get dizzy. Oh, and don’t worry, Jackson Chourio and Joey Ortiz added four hits apiece, as everyone in the Brewers’ lineup reached base at least twice and scored at least once. Brew Crew’s starting pitcher, Dustin May got himself a nice little bit of run support, ahem, not that he needed it, he threw six scoreless innings, allowing just three base runners for his seventh win and first quality start in almost a month. After just sweeping the Cubs it’s not hard to look to this entire team and think they’re clicking at just the right time. Are you scared yet, Dodgers fans? From slamming beers to slamming baseballs, the Brewers seriously might just be I think possibly, maybe, feasibly, potentially, conceivably, perchance, a wagon, y’all!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Andrew Abbott – 2.0 IP, 9 hits, 8 ER, 11th L. I had to stream him a few weeks ago and not gonna lie to you guys it was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. I barely survived. 9/11/2026 Andrew Abbott’s start. Never forget.

Shota Imanaga – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, 10th win. Shota through the heart! Thank the fantasy gods he didn’t have to face Milwaukee. I enjoy Imanaga’s work but I would be lying if I  said I don’t clutch my pearls whenever he’s out there. Still I view him as about a 3.50 ERA pitching so would be nice to see those ratios dip slightly before the end of year. It’s just hard to see that happening at home versus the Braves next week.

Alex Bregman – 3-for-4, HR (25), 2 RBI. Remember when I was comparing him to Durbin and Durbs had him beat in RBI? Yeah, no this guy is clearly multiple tiers above the Durbinator. He’s slashing .304/.378/.613 since the break with 16 home runs including 9 in August and a .991 OPS. Let’s see Caleb Durbin do that.

Seiya Suzuki – 3-for-5, 3 runs, RBI. The Cubs have hit more home runs (204) and scored 30 more runs than the next closest team and still might miss the playoffs. Kevin Gausman’s really that bad isn’t he?

Framber Valdez – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 2 K, 10th win, ERA at 4.01 ERA. Framber making sure you downinate your head-to-head league’s consolation bracket.

Max Clark – 1-for-3, HR (3), SB (4). The slam & legs in Detroit is served Coney style covered in onions and mustard and a chili meat sauce that’s not really a meat sauce or a chili! Sound gross? You’re gonna love it!

Dillon Dingler – 1-for-4, HR (27), 2 RBI. The Dillon Dingler Ding Dong Dinger returns! His first since August 6! He’s hit just two extra-base hits in that stretch. Hopefully you moved on from the Dillon dingus and didn’t wait for Grey to tell you to SELL and wake him from the dead. There was a time he was the best player in my lineup.

Cole Carrigg – 2-for-4. I’ve seen him hanging out on a few of my waiver wires and he really shouldn’t be at this point. He also has a full week at Coors next week so fix that.

Cade Cavalli – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 9 K. You know how I love my post break splits, CC has been CC-esque since the break with 11 quality starts in 12 chances rocking a 2.13 ERA and an 89/17 K/BB! He’s become one of the best sources of strikeouts in the league, since August 13th in seven starts: 10, 11, 7, 8, 8, 8, and 9. He even gave us eight in a four inning outing! Cade knows what daddy likes! The only problem I see is he’s been so good he’ll probably be over drafted next year.

Erik Tolman – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, ER, BB, SV (2). In the longstanding tradition of god-awful Nats closers Erik Tolman receives the torch to carry for the next generation. How bad do you really need those saves? I have an answer but you’re not gonna like it.

Yusei Kikuchi – 4.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 4 BB, 5 K. Lisa Loeb was telling me he favorite ball player Kikuchi has allowed just three earned runs over his past three starts. What about his August 23rd start? Yusei, I only hear what I want to. He gets a prime matchup with Seattle next week and I could see considering the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure, though!

Mike Trout – 1-for-3, HR (21). Catatafish heard my prayers and sends it deep! Trout fish’s first homer since August 10th, that’s 27 games. It is the second longest stretch of his career. This isn’t Dillon Dingler, folks, this guy makes $35 million a year with no desire to play for a contender. No loser denial here, he’s fully embraced his loserdom and would rather rip packs and make TikToks in October. Sad!

James Wood – 1-for-3, RBI, SB (19). I’m gonna need Wood to do what you did in the first half but it’s knot happening and I am surely stumped. I pine for those days. Just go with the grain, Wood!

Carlos Rodon – 6.1 IP, 3 hits, ER, BB, 8 K, 6th win. I know it was the Mets and they mostly stink but the Yankees look kind of scary now? I would never call them a wagon, no need to worry, but Rodon is a pretty good fourth starter. Who else got that? Don’t say the Dodgers, they don’t count.

Nolan McLean – 5.0 IP, 10 hits, 5 ER, BB, 5 K, 9th L. Love me a Subway series on 9-11. Nolan, not so much, I guess? There were videos circulating yesterday of Presidents Bush’s first pitch in Game 3 of the 2001 World Series and how it might be the greatest first pitch of all time. An absolute dot right down the middle, and he does it in a bulletproof vest with the whole world watching. Tough to beat that. This sent me down a bit of a you ube rabbit hole and here’s some of my honorable mentions in case you want to lose two hours of your life: Sister Mary Jo and her arm bounce tricks (clearly knows ball), Meg Thee Stallion in Houston (for obvious reasons I won’t explain here), Hezly Rivera’s front flip then perfect strike (although this was probably a balk), and finally Ichiro’s 85 mph laser to JRod at age 48. What’d I miss?

Cody Bellinger – 2-for-4, HR (14), 3 RBI. Ripped, smoked and 420 blazed this one! Victory bong rip, buddaaaaay!

A.J. Ewing – 2-for-4, HR (9), 2 RBI. Seven-game hitting streak including this blast! He’s hitting .545 with two homers 9 RBI and a steal over the past week! AJ’s getting hot at the right time and it could just make up for my disastrous $80 FAAB on him.

Ben Rice – 3-for-4, 3 runs, HR (37). Rice bowled it and Benjamin Arroz happy to have the big boi back to protect him! No offense, Luis Garcia.

Max Scherzer – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 6 ER, BB, 3 K, 8th L. Nope, no thank you no. You’d have to be mad to trust Max at this point of the season.

Rico Garcia – 0.1 IP, SV (8). BUY. This is the second game in three days Rico Suave has come in after Andrew Kittredge and notched the save. I’ve seen some bad Mr. Managing but this O’s guy continuing to go to Kittredge in high leverage spots only to get Oriole egg on his face is baffling stuff. Also maybe stop batting Gunnar third!

Coby Mayo – 1-for-5, HR (23). Mayo’s fourth homer this week! Whata spread! I relish this! Coby’s slashing .276/.344/.724 in September with the bombs and an 1.068 OPS! He’s not just for lefties anymore! He was a BUY if Mayo’s available time to ketchup!

Brett Bateman – 3-for-5, HR (1), 2 RBI. I’ve been wanting to mention this BB for a while now but he’s been a little underwhelming, but he’s been leading off for these Jays and hitting .375 over the past week. He’s got a little pop and a little more speed and he’s from the Rob Refsnyder school of players with white guy names who are fully Asian. That’s good company!

Kazuma Okamoto – 2-for-4, HR (31). Kazuma bomb! That’s the record for a Japanese rookie, which is something I get to say whenver he homers for the rest of the year so you better believe I’m gonna. He also holds the Blue Jays single season strikeout record, but that’s not nearly as fun to keep repeating.

Dylan Beavers – 2-for-5, HR (7), 3 RBI. Beavers got hard wood on this one! Dylan has led off in back to back games which makes him interesting to me even if his stats aren’t all that interesting to me.

Gunnar Henderson – 2-for-4, run. My new favorite pastime is watching Gunnar strikeout in key moments then going to X searching his name and sorting by latest to read all the O’s fans flaming him. It makes me feel a little better about drafting him somehow.

Drew Rasmussen – 7.0 IP, 8 hits, ER, 4 K, ERA at 2.81. You my boy, Dwew! Over his past four starts he’s allowed just five earned runs, 26.0 IP with  a 22/2 K/BB. If he’s not careful he might pitch so well the Rays will trade him. They can’t afford this kind of production. Next year I’m drafting him as my Ace. First pitcher I’m taking, mark my words, just remind me I will surely forget to do this.

Junior Caminero – 1-for-4, HR (40), 2 RBI. Juco Loco with the 40 piece! That’s the 40 oz to freedom and it feels Sublime. Would you believe this was his first ever walk off? The Rays clinch the postseason with the win and look at all those empty seats! Someone send that ball to Cooperstown! Wow! That fan is going absolutely wild. Oh, wait that’s the first baseman. Try telling me Killa Cam isn’t going dip set in the first round next year? Oh boy!

Victor Mesa Jr. – 1-for-2, HR (13). To the Victor goes the seven-game hitting streak. The spoils? A .526 batting average in that stretch with three homers and three steals? What more do you need from VMJ?

Mickey Gasper – 1-for-3, HR (9).  The Mick bombs make it hard to breathe! Someone let me catch my breath!

Sonny Gray – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 5th L. Not all sunshine for Sonny Friday at Fenway. He’s rocking a 2.76 ERA, 1.17 WHIP, with 17 wins and a 140/42 K/BB. Maybe not the Cy Young but he secured himself a hefty pay day next year so sonnier days ahead! I do feel bad for whatever team decides to pay him though.

Steven Cruz – 1.0 IP, K, SV (7). Hasn’t allowed a run yet in September which is an accomplishment in itself for this Royals pen. He’s also 5-for-5 in saves opps. This is your SAGNOF!

Blake Snell – 5.2 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 4th win, ERA at 1.91. He’s now 5-0 with a 1.04 ERA, and 38/4 K/BB since he returned from the IL. I would be the best at my job too if I only had to do it two months a year.

Javier Sanoja – 2-for-4, SB (10). BUY! ELEVEN-game hitting streak for the super utility man who’s played every position but catcher. He’s slashing .322/.358/.497  since the All-Star break with an .855 OPS, with five steals and five homers. Name me a team you have that couldn’t use that! Don’t say your fantasy football team, cause I heard he might also play quarterback.

Otto Lopez – 4-for-5. His name is Otto, he likes to get blotto! Jokes aside Ottoman has been a let down in the second half, but he’s picking it back up in September (.342/.432/.474). Take me to the promised land, Otto!

Kyle Tucker – 3-for-3, HR (14), 5 RBI. He’s slashing .318/.360/.864 over the past week and has now homered in back-to-back games featuring this grand salami. Maybe now that Ohtani’s gone he can really show what he can do. King Tuck is finally starting to figure things out, it only took him 130 games. Luckily, he’s on a team that can wait on him to find his swing. Maybe next year he should just start in August like Snell.

Aaron Nola – 6.1 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 3 K. Good Friday for Nola! It must be Mardi Gras if you’re crazy enough to start A-aron down the stretch, but maybe I’m the crazy one. He’s rocking a 2.38 ERA over his last nine starts dating back to the end of July, and hasn’t allowed more than three earned runs in a start in that stretch! He’s lowered his ERA almost an entire run and the 53/19 K/BB isn’t amazing but I’ll take the five quality starts. Someone get Nola a King Cake!

Chris Sale – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 6 K. This was obviously a tough matchup and Sale struggled to throw strikes a bit but still managed the quality start. I’m talking up Aaron Nola and then I look at Chris Sale’s player page which has a 2.03 ERA, 0.81 WHIP and 78 strikeouts over his past 10 starts, and holy heck Aaron Nola is actually trash.

Matt Olson – 1-for-4, HR (38). Allahson! How are you not at 40 homers yet? I’m starting to think it will never happen.

Austin Riley – 1-for-4, HR (17). That’s probably 15 home runs since you dropped him, if you’re keeping track. Don’t worry he’s still batting .220.

Drake Baldwin – 2-for-5, RBI. Nice for what, Drake walks it off with the game winning RBI. It was all God’s Plan for, Drizzy Drake Baldwin. Is it me or does it feel like the Braves and Phillies are playing each other every day now?

Taj Bradley – 6.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 4 BB, 6 K. Four walks and couldn’t find the strike zone but I guess it doesn’t matter when you’ve got cheese this stinky. He’s going to have a 200 strikeout season! He’s also got over 70 walks but let’s focus on the good stuff.

Parker Messick – 5.1 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB 5 K. He’s going to need to do a lot better than this if he wants to unseat Kevin McGonigle for the Rookie of the Year honors, but he gets the flondering White Sox next week and could do just that.

MacKenzie Gore – 4.0 IP, 5 hits, 4 ER, 3 BB, 2 K. I held you all year only for you to let me down in the stretch. I feel like I knew this was going to happen and I let it happen anyway.

Joc Pederson – 2-for-4, RBI. Hittertron loved Joc this weekend and this is why AI will destroy us all by 2030. Also, Claude, can you proofread this for typos and grammar?

Corbin Carroll – 1-for-4, HR (20), 2 RBI. Another 20-20 year for CC, and a bit of a down year for Carroll but he’s been battling a back injury and I’d still take him over any of my first five picks.

Nolan Arenado – 2-for-3, HR (24). Went back to back with Corbin and hit his 377th home run as he moved past Carlton Fisk for 84th all time. How many NOOOO!! A TORENADO! does that equate to here at razzball?

Justin Martinez – 1.0 IP, 3 K. Assuming you’ve been holding J-Mart for this immaculate inning, because he’s not close to getting save opportunities.

Ketel Marte – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBI. Hit the go-ahead double to extend his nine game hitting streak. Yeah, I mean, I would let this dude play whenever he wants, too, he’s more or less their best hitter.

George Kirby – 6.0 IP, 9 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 5 K. Not a bad start for Kirby considering it was on the moon aka fantasy Dreamland.

Jeffrey Springs – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, K. Back to back decent starts both against the Mariners. Hmm, I’m sensing a trend here. He’s got a 2.29 ERA in three starts against the Mariners this year. He also has one win in the past three months. He gets the Rays next week, pick him up if you hate yourself.

Lawrence Butler – 2-for-4, HR (14), 2 RBI. The Butler did it and broke an 0-for-15 streak with the big game including this shotski. He has cooled off after slashing .297/.388/.505 in August but should still be useful at home.

Henry Bolte – 1-for-5, SB (20). Five steals in the past week, hitting .304 with two bombs! Literally a Bolte of lightning to my lineup! If he’s not walking out to Thunder by Imagine Dragons he’s doing it wrong.

Jeff McNeil – 2-for-3, 2 runs, RBI. BUY. Wait, seriously don’t be talking bad about the Dragonz. That’s not cool, bro.

Lazaro Montes – 1-for-2, HR (3). Pinch hit game tying home run in sixth and it’s still in orbit I believe. I was looking for a streamer for this weekend and though Montes could be really interesting in a little baby bawlpawk like Bing Bong and lo and behold he crushed this one to Rancho Cordova.

Jackson Merrill – 3-for-4, 2 runs, SB (26). Beat it! Jackson has been a real Thriller lately batting .435 this past week with two homers, two steals and 9 RBI. Oh boy, the way you make me feel! Dude has been off the wall! I’ll rock with you any day, Jackson. Don’t stop till you get enough. Sorry, I just saw Michael.

Jonah Cox – 1-for-2, 2 runs, SB (10). He was a BUY and he’s got five steals over the past two weeks. This is what it looks like to rocks with your Cox out!

Robbie Ray – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, 5 ER, 4 BB, 5 K, 12th win. I did it, you guys. I finally dropped him. End of an era. He can’t hurt me anymore. The irony is I drafted guys like Ray and Gausman as reliable anchors for my teams and they’ve been absolute disaster classes more often than not.

Rafael Devers – 1-for-3, Grand Slam HR (36). Of all the guys to walk Robbie, this is the guy. To be fair to Robbie (I owe him that much), Devers took what seemed like an unhittable curveball in the dirt and sent this one into space. Sweet sassy molassy! How did he even hit that. That’s not preparation or training folks, not learned, not coached, it’s genetics. Pure talent at work. You either got it or you don’t. And peeps thought this dude was cooked lul. He’s hitting .360 over the past two weeks with 7 homers and 20 RBI. The player no one wanted is looking like a certifiable league winner. Rafael D’levers!

Joshua Baez – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBI. Turns out he’s not going to hit three homers every night, and he’s not going to strike out three times every night, he’s somewhere in between. He’s hitting .400 over the past week though and things are certainly clicking for the rookie and its late enough in the season no one’s paying attention. I’m a very sick man and I can’t wait to draft him everywhere next year.

Leo Bernal – 3-for-4, 2 RBI. BUY! Y’all just got Bernal’d! The rookie has been hitting .325 since his callup with two home runs and 12 RBI. This seems like the year of the catcher so why not add another one to the pile! Let it all Bernal!

Chase Meidroth – 2-for-4, 2 HR (14). At least one of their players hasn’t forgot they’re in a playoff race.

Donovan Walton – 3-for-5, HR (7), 2 RBI. The Walton walkoff! That’s trademarked btw! Let’s here it for Unc, the old grey mare who hit his seventh home run this year at age 32, after having just four career home runs in six seasons prior to this! That’s a geriatric homer, folks. Comes with a complimentary Sanka. D-Walt showing these kids how it’s done! The walkoff was great but it’s Unc’s trip over first base however that will make this walk off forever iconic and live on in the annals of baseball lore. (lol annal) How can you not get romantic about baseball, Brad Pitt? Seriously, so much aura reversal from the pimp strut to the immediate faceplant. He tries to play it off but we all saw it. You are a meme now, sir. These are the moments you dream about when you’re a kid doing aura farming battles in the playground. We’ve come a long way from the sandlot, friends.

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!