Please see our player page for Luis Garcia to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Ian Anderson (2 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.31) pitches like Jethro Tull singing, “Hello, darkness, my old friend.” Uh-oh, we’re being visited by Comatose Since March Man. This is gonna be brutal. Hey, Comatose Since March Man, how ya feeling? “Great, man! You ever sleep for four months? That’s what I feel like! Anyway, let’s talk about my fantasy baseball team! Ian Anderson is building on his 2021 season and is now an ace, right? Right?! Why are you tiptoeing backwards?” Seriously, though, how long until the Braves put Ian Anderson out to pasture with Touki, Ynoa and every other pitcher who they have that’s good for one season? Soon! Okay, the highlights, not the lowlights:  Nick Castellanos (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 8th homer. “Hey, we could just put the car in neutral and roll it off a cliff with him in the driver’s seat–Whoa! Hold on! He moved! Castellanos is alive!” This was Castellanos’s first, and only as it turned out, homer in June, and he was hitting .212 entering yesterday’s game with five runs. Apizzarently, he’s become the Greek God of Hardly Any Contact. Then, Kyle Schwarber (1-for-4, 3 RBIs) said farewell to June with his 23rd homer. Someone please Back to the Future Schwarber with a Walkman in the middle of the night and tell him June is another 60 days long. Next up, or I should say nextus is Rhysus, the Philly savior, (1-for-3, 2 runs) hit his 15th and 2nd in as many games. Finally, the one true DH on a team filled with them, Darick Hall (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) got his 1st and 2nd homer on his first and second hits. When the Philly and Yacht Rock legend, Darick Hall, hits a homer, they better be playing She’s Gone. He will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, and he’s solid for power, but I’m not sure how much else. Sorry, Charlie, for the imposition… Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Bullpen update time! I’m already tired of the per-division format I’ve been doing the past few weeks. Feel like it’s better to lead off with the saves daddies, move into the holds daddies, then add some final miscellaneous notes. Much more streamlined reading/writing experience if you ask me. Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen […]

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

Holds out hand towards mouse, while internet page is open to waivers, “Luke, you are my waiver wire fodder.” Cougs walks in and sees I’m dressed as Darth Vader — again — and asks me if I’m gonna be playing fantasy all night or if we can watch some foreign film about a son who is secretly in love with his mother or some crap. “I’m playing fantasy,” I scream, but that fogs up my Darth mask, and I pout, removing it. Thanks a lot! So, we’ve had Josh Lowe, C.J.Abrams, Oneil Cruz, Riley Greene, Alex Kirilloff, Jarren Duran, and now we’ve got this new youngster, Luke Voit! Okay, not a youngster, but as June turns to July, the rookie callups are mostly behind us and it’s time we roll up our Ocean Pacific shorts, so we’re wearing short shorts, and dig in on guys who can actually help the ol’ fantasy team. Voit’s been on a heater in the month of June, and he could carry that over for another week, a few weeks or even a few months. Being under 50% rostered in mixed leagues needs to end, and let me get back to playing with my Smorestroopers! (Stormtroopers I made out of marshmallows, graham crackers and dark side chocolate.) Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For Mother’s Day, MLB uses pink bats. My suggestion for Father’s Day is bats with hairy bags hanging off the handle. This suggestion appears to fall on deaf ears, even though I go through the proper channels, filling out all the comment cards in the lobby at MLB headquarters. Even chitchatting with Jim, at security, for way longer than most people! No one hears my suggestions! Shoot, I was typing that instead of saying it out loud in the lobby. Hmm, my bad. Hope everyone’s Father’s Day was nice, with a special shoutout to the fathers who are “yelling at cars on their street to slow down” years old. You know who you are (all of you). So, all the fantasy fathers got good news this weekend, major rookie nookie incoming (not from their wives, as usual). First call-up was Alex Kirilloff, after being in my Friday Buy. Not sure if we’ll talk about him today on the podcast, since BDon spent the last six weeks talking about him incessantly like he lost a bet. Next up was Riley Greene, as he started in the majors on Saturday. Dan Pants gave you his Riley Greene fantasy on Saturday. I’ve been giving you a Riley Greene fantasy for the last six months. If you don’t pick up Riley Greene, you hate winning and America. You’re a Communist. I’m sorry, please enter your driver’s license number in the comments. We need to send people to your house. Finally, the Pirates made all our dreams come true. No, they didn’t dissolve into other teams, so all their pitchers could become aces. They called up Oneil Cruz! Literally just gave you my Oneil Cruz fantasy. It’s all there. The “it” I am referring to are his five tools and my post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

It’s time for a Pirates mailbag:

Q: Hey, Mikey Yinz here, I was over in Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. Not Fred. I mean Roger Rogers, guy I went to Andy Carnegie High School with. I don’t know his real name, we call him Roger Rogers because he’s got a stutter. We were watching the Pirates and eating a two-hander from Primanti’s, and Roger Rogers says to me, after some coaxing with a smack on his back, “What’s going on with Oneil Cruz?” And it got me thinking, let me ask Grey.
A: He’s being called up soon, or not at all, like Bobby Witt Jr. from last year. He’s past service time thresholds. Of course, there’s a new CBA that might have new cutoff days. Baseball’s service time is purposely incomprehensible. It’s like the tax code. They don’t want us to know.
Q: Is he a generational talent like Pops Stargell or a no-good, sell-out like Sid Bream?
A: Closer to a generational talent, but depends on how long the Pirates keep him in the minors on what generation. We have a tool — the Prospectonator — that projects every rookie, and Oneil Cruz is number one by a large margin. He’s a 25/15/.260 hitter (prorated), if he ever gets to the majors.
Q: Like the difference between homemade ketchup and Pittsburgh’s own H.J. Heinz?
A: Yes.
Q: 57 varieties and thicc, baby! Ain’t that right, Roger Rogers? Yo, he just gave you a double nod! Would you say, “Oneil’s finally a prospect to buy without warning ‘But Pirates?'”
A: Sure.
Q: Say it:  “But Pirates.”
A: No.
Q: Damn.
Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*wavy lines* Hey, what’s up, it’s back in March! This is awesome! I did a time travel! No, I don’t want to sell my crypto while it’s still at an all-time high! No, I don’t want to bet on Aaron Judge winning the MVP! I wanna draft Tyler Anderson and Tony Gonsolin and avoid Julio Urias and Walker Buehler. And draft Anderson and Gonsolin in the 2nd and 3rd rounds, just to freak everyone out! *Wavy lines* That was the best dream sequence ever. Surprised Dave Roberts didn’t bring in Clayton Kershaw to finish off the no-hitter. It was, after all, a gazillion pitches thrown by Tyler Anderson (8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.82). Towards the end, it seemed like he wanted the Angels to get a hit just to end his night. I got goose pimples for Tyler, since he could no longer feel his arms. I’m not casting aspersions on Anderson and Gonsolin but I think they both lost the same amount of weight in the preseason. 21 grams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

To try to appeal more to teenage boys, the Rangers should install a giant lotion bottle in center field, and each time Marcus Semien homers, it explodes with lotion onto the fans in the bleachers. Yesterday, there would be a lot of facials from Semien, as he went 7-for-8, 4 runs, 3 RBIs and a triple slam (4, 5, 6) and double legs (9, 10). Halleberrylujah. That might actually be the single greatest day ever. Could Semien be coming out of his early-season funk like Jason Biggs once came out of a tube sock? Okay, those other words were likely avoidable. Is Semien about to explode? Again, avoidable! Is Semien about to explode in a good way in all his glory, whole and pulsating. Okay, more very avoidable words! Here’s what I thought on our Youtube channel. Click that and click subscribe so I can feed my children (Ted, a dog).

Before you say, this rooster, Grey, is caca-cuckoo crazy. Entering yesterday’s games, he had an expected batting average of .201, and one of the worst exit velocities in the major. Everything across the board on his page is saying he really was this bad. Not unlucky. Could he turn it all around? Does Marcus Semien sound like a bath towel that you tell your mom you got paste on? Yes and yes! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

Riley Greene is 21. He was 20 last year. That’s how age works. Next year, he’ll be 22. Guess what he’ll be in two years. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Wrong! 23. *marks test with a D* It’s a passing grade, but I expected more from you. I am passing you because I didn’t want to see you again next year. As a 20-year-old in 124 games at Double and Triple-A, Riley Greene went 24/16/.301 with 25 doubles, eight triples and a 11.5% walk rate and 27.6 K%. That last rate worries me a tad. He was the youngest guy at Double-A, so I’m not writing him off as a guy who can’t make contact, but when a guy with a 27% strikeout rate comes up, here’s what happens:  The strikeout rate balloons to 32%, then people are like, “Damn, I wanted to like Riley but he comes with a .230 average, and I can’t afford that. Maybe some other time!” Then his strikeout rate falls back to 27% and people are like, “That’s better, but he’s still a .250 hitter, and I already have Mark Canha.” Finally, when Riley’s forgotten, his strikeout rate drops to 20%, he hits .285 and people are like, “Wow, where did that come from? He’s breaking out late in his career,” and he’s really only 23 years old. That’s obviously a trend I’ve seen happen more than once. So, he might hit .230 this year. Everything else? Well, kinda beautiful. Five tools gets a bad rap because it’s tossed around with hyperbole, but Riley Greene is five tools without the hyperbole. It’s literal. Riley Greene wears his underwear like a glove because he’s got five tools. On Prospect Itch’s top 100 fantasy baseball prospects, I watched the top 20 or so, and from what I’ve seen, Riley Greene has earned his 6th overall ranking, while also getting short shrift because the guys in front of him are so good. Guess Riley is Greene with envy. *falls down a staircase, sits up* Tah-dah! There’s nothing Riley Greene can’t do. He might’ve broke camp with the Tigers, but he broke a foot instead. Now that he’s healthy, he will be up in a matter of weeks. I’d put the date at June 15th with a plus or minus five days. Also, here’s me talking about Riley Greene on our Youtube channel. Please click that and click subscribe so I can stop asking.

Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve had a few weeks with some potentially interesting names floating around the deep league waiver wire, with players like Christopher Morel, Tyrone Taylor, and RITD-lede-from-a-couple-weeks-ago Edwin Rios even creeping into the medium depth re-draft league conversation. But after this flurry of FAAB activity, is there anything left for those of us who either missed […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rockies aren’t good at home anymore and it’s so funny. Like, that’s the joke. The Rockies. Excuse me, the Jokies. Is that a thing? It is now! Bud Black is a joke, the entire organization is a joke. From top to bottom, just jokey joke jokes. The Jokies’ owner, Dick Monfort says, “Can’t believe we’ve got Kris Bryant locked up until he’s 37. We are so smart,” as Monfort pushes on a door that says pull. Also, and I know I joke a lot about the Jokies, so I have to tell you this is absolutely true, Dick Monfort appointed one of the majors’ youngest scouting directors. Who is this overachiever? His son! He appointed his son the scouting director. What’s his qualifications? I just told you! He’s his son! Any hoo! Edward Cabrera (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 9 Ks) threw a gem in Coors, in his first start up with the team. The command is pretty worrisome here. In Triple-A, he had a 4.6 BB/9 with a 4.56 ERA. I’m actually surprised he was promoted. The stuff is electric, but he could have some absolute roofies. Outside of NL-Only, I’d be concerned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Feels like we get big prospect headlines every weekend. Makes sense on the baseball calendar. Adley Rutschman, Nolan Gorman and Matthew Liberatore all got that call this week, and I got an invitation to reshuffle the stash list.

Graduated from Volume 2: Royce Lewis Rolls Into TownGeorge Kirby, Adley Rutschman, Alek Thomas, Vidal Brujan, Nolan Gorman, Ryan Pepiot 

If you cared to look back that far, you’d see two graduates in this list from the class of Volume 1, Oneil Cruz Control featured again here in Volume 3, but that’s just the nature of the nomenclature these days. Confusing times when the top guy on the stash list just got demoted after dominating for a couple weeks, but here we are, and away we go. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?