After going over the top 20 shortstops for 2019 fantasy baseball, I needed a cigarette. A good after-sex cigarette, not a waiting-to-go-into-court-to-hear-if-you-have-to-spend-18-months-in-jail cigarette. Subtle, but important differences. We also hit up the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball, the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball and the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball. In no way was that clickbait. Okay, onto the hot corner. Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections listed are mine and I mention where I see tiers starting and stopping. Good times, dyn-o-mite! Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball:
6. Kris Bryant – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Muncy. I call this tier, “Touch my cheek real soft like you love me.” By the tier name I mean, 3rd base is almost as sad as 1st base, and I need someone, such as yourself, to touch my cheek and tell me everything is going to be okay with corner infidels. One big takeaway from fantasy baseball right now, at least as for as Yahoo eligibility is concerned. Everyone is eligible everywhere. Aunt Lydia can’t throw a stone without hitting a guy with multiple position eligibility. And, even with that, corner infidels are so sad. So…touch my cheek like you love me! As for Bryant, unlike Correa, another superstar who had a down year, I’m back in on Bryant. It’s just as scary though with Bryant’s shoulder injuries. It’s just, if Bryant is healthy and he is saying he is, he’s a 30/10/.290 guy, and a top 15 hitter overall, who is still firmly in his prime. 2019 Projections: 102/29/71/.284/9 in 561 ABs
7. Anthony Rendon – I’m not usually a big fan of floor players, but Rendon is the ultimate floor player and he gets my blood flowing like a blood bank ATM. By the way, when anyone asks about an ATM, say to them, “Why are you asking about Ass-to-Mouth?” It’s on Dale Carnegie’s list of ways to make friends and influence people. Any hoo! Rendon is a solid bet for top 50 fantasy production every year, and has made good on that four of the last five years. 2019 Projections: 94/25/101/.295/4 in 536 ABs
8. Eugenio Suarez – Early on in my rankings, I had Eugenio above Bryant and just out of the top 20. His HR/FB% is just a bit high. Everything in his favor tells me he will come very close to repeating his breakout year in 2018. As I’ve said before, guys in the same tier are interchangeable, so I wouldn’t yell obscenities at you if you drafted Eugenio before Bryant, unless my yelling of obscenities would remind you of your father, and you have daddy issues. GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU SPAZZTARD! Why I settled on this ranking, Bryant has more power and speed upside, Rendon has a longer track record and Eugenio looks a bit more like a 27-homer guy than a 34-homer guy like he was last year. 2019 Projections: 81/27/94/.281/3 in 538 ABs
12. Miguel Andujar – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Moustakas. I call this tier, “Character flaw.” By the tier name I mean, a blindspot for each of these guys is helping me think more optimistically about them. Actual quote from Wikipedia for character flaw, “For example, the sheriff with a gambling addiction, the action hero who is afraid of heights, or a lead in a romantic comedy who must overcome his insecurity regarding male pattern baldness are all characters whose flaws help provide dimension.” Hey, your insecurity about male pattern baldness? Guys, it provides you with dimension! Tell that to the ladies next time you’re hitting on them in a bar. Dimension! Ha! And you thought it provided you with dome resemblance. I don’t feel as confident about this tier as the previous one, but I still have much *taps chest* love for these guys. As for Andujar, I was expecting to be out on Andujar like I am on Gleyber, but Andujar’s numbers look a lot more repeatable. Kinda wish he would make a bit more solid contact and he needs to attend the Launch Angle seminar at the Ramada Inn in Parsippany, New Jersey. You know the seminar, Figuring Out How To Launch Bombs in 2019, which is totally different than the seminar being held at the Ramadan Inn in Iran. 2019 Projections: 81/25/94/.287/3 in 596 ABs
13. Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – Already gave you my Vladimir Guerrero Jr. fantasy. It was written while massaging his father’s knees. I also go over him in the video at the top of the page. 2019 Projections: 62/24/71/.308/3 in 487 ABs
16. Matt Chapman – Needed to do some finagling in my projections to get Chapman worth this ranking. He hit 24 HRs last year, and his numbers tell me he could easily repeat that or hit less, but he’s young and he’s top ten in exit velocity and I finagled him into 29 homers for the upcoming season. Same for his average, runs and RBIs. I upped his projections by weighing his exit velocity a lot stronger than I had with some other guys. What does this mean? There’s a bunch of risk with my Chapman projections and ranking. 2019 Projections: 91/29/93/.263/2 in 561 ABs
17. Mike Moustakas – Moustakas is currently the Phils’ contingency plan if they don’t get Machado. If they don’t get Machado or Moustakas, they’ll go with Maikel. In other words, Manny Machado, a marvelous, maddening malcontent, marinating to manipulate the market may mete Maikel’s mantle to Mike Moustakas for the Mistakas or Moistasskiss. Mmm…maybe. UPDATE: Signed a deal with the Brewers to play 2nd base, keep Travis Shaw at 3rd base and Keston Hiura will aim for a Triple-A Triple Crown. This doesn’t change much. Moustakas will once again be in a solid lineup in a solid park and should flirt with 100 ribbies like he’s Pablo Sandoval at a ribs buffet. “Hello, what are all of your names?” That’s Sandoval flirting at a 100 ribbies. 2019 Projections: 71/30/98/.253/3 in 567 ABs
18. Matt Carpenter – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Donaldson. I call this tier, “*makes jerking off motion*” By the tier name I mean, that’s the motion I’ll make if someone asks if I’m drafting these guys. Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.
19. Wil Myers – Steamer’s projections for Myers are 25/18/.240. Am I drafting him? See tier name. 2019 Projections: 71/22/68/.251/15 in 541 ABs
20. Justin Turner – At 34-year-old who has played in 150+ games once in his career? See tier name. 2019 Projections: 73/20/77/.304/3 in 434 ABs
22. Josh Donaldson – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Braves. *rips up imaginary Johan Camargo sleeper post, person passes by noticing me*
Them: What are you doing?
Me: Miming the tearing up of fantasy value for Johan Camargo.
Them: The Donaldson signing, huh?
Me: Yeah, how’d you know?
Them: Because you’re imagining this conversation.
I don’t believe Donaldson will ever stay healthy again in his career. He also seems in the mode where he will play injured and cost his team and fantasy owners, so this hurts his value and Johan. Lowercase yay! Maybe if we’re lucky, it will cost Dansby Swanson’s fantasy value instead of Johan’s. Maybe yay!” And that’s me quoting me! 2019 Projections: 54/22/63/.263/2 in 422 ABs
23. Joey Wendle – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Goodrum. I call this tier, “Lake Titicaca.” Whenever I hear Lake Titicaca, it makes me smile. Whenever I hear any of the players in this tier, I smile. See? Samesies! Everyone in this tier almost woulda coulda shoulda almosta got a sleeper post. As for Wendle, went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.
24. Maikel Franco – See Moustakas blurb above. Or Machado and Moustakas make Maikel a Phillies’ real life bench mannequin. I will call him, Mannequin Franco. In all seriousness, if Maikel somehow manages to have the Phils’ starting job by March 15th, I’ll be shocked, but will move Franco up the rankings. UPDATE: P to the erhaps you heard, or herd, if shepherds are reading, but Machado did not sign with Philly and Maikel looks like he has at least 85% of a full-time job, only ceding some occasional at-bats to Kingery, so I moved him up. 2019 Projections: 58/24/68/.251/2 in 487 ABs
26. Rafael Devers – True story, I started writing a sleeper post for Devers, but I got about 300 words in and started to really dissect his numbers and I was no longer in love with him. That romance lasted longer than Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson’s, but still not long enough for me to recommend Devers any higher than this. I was turned off by his high rate of ground balls, his insane splits and god-awful line drive rate. He makes some of the worst contact. He’s young, and he can fix these issues, so I would still draft him, but he’s by no means a slam dunk to do so. Here’s the video on Rafael Devers 2019 fantasy outlook from Podcast Ralph and Video Producer Andy for a 2nd and 3rd opinion. Devers is the type of guy I would intently listen to 4th, 5th and 6th opinions on. He can go so many different ways. 2019 Projections: 63/23/69/.244/5 in 471 ABs
27. Jake Lamb – Goldy being traded might be a boon for Lamb’s value, like rosemary and a mint jelly glaze. Though Lamb’s bat was best last year left on the rack. Bam! Sorry, I had Emeril guest blurb this one. 2019 Projections: 63/25/72/.238/4 in 538 ABs
30. Renato Nunez – He sounds like a hot Dominican chick, right? No? Damn, you people are so woke I could use you for an alarm clock. Worst pickup line ever, “Yo, you rooster? Cause you’re so woke!” As I wasn’t saying, Nunez is the Orioles’ starting 3rd baseman and looks like an easy 25-homer guy who I likely would’ve wrote a sleeper post on if I wasn’t scared about everything the Orioles touching turning to garbage. He kinda reminds me of the salad days of Pedro Alvarez. I will call him Cucumbero Alvarez. 2019 Projections: 54/26/68/.251/1 in 522 ABs
32. Asdrubal Cabrera – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Sano. I call this tier, “4 hour limit.” By the tier name I mean, if you draft one of these guys and have an erection for longer than four hours, see a doctor. Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.
37. Jeimer Candelario – I’d love to see someone hack into Fangraphs and move Candelario’s fly ball rate to Miguel Andujar’s player page. Maybe I can enlist Guccifer 2.0. Unfortunately for Jeimer, he hits dinkers into the outfielders’ gloves. Dinker, dinker, fo’finker, banana-fana, fo’minker, din….ker. Let’s try Nancy! Nancy, Nancy, faux fancy– Last year, Jeimer hit 19 homers. If he..imer can add a bit of power, I could see him breaking out. He is, after all, only 25 years old. If he doesn’t add power though, dinkers to the outfielders is why he only hit .224. Your BABIP is not going to be good with dinkers. Also, why on this great earth that Giancarlo is blessed to be a part of, is Jeimer slotted in the leadoff role? Is that a joke? 2019 Projections: 81/22/50/.235/3 in 571 ABs
38. Evan Longoria – I adore Longoria’s career trajectory, as in, “I’d like to show him a door.” Longoria is taking a virtual dump in these waning years, and I ain’t waxing nostalgic. Mr. Greyagi instructs, “Wane on, wax off. Wane on, wax off.” 2019 Projections: 61/18/68/.249/3 in 549 ABs
40. Ian Happ – Only thing that stopped me from writing a sleeper post for Happ was I wrote one last year. Oopsie! I’m able to put on rose-colored glasses like a hippie and still get excited for Happ. Guess that makes me a Happie! I’ll see myself out. So, here’s the haps on Happ. His chase rate plummeted. He did not swing at anything outside of the zone last year — 24.7%. His walks skyrocketed. From 9.4% to 15.2%, which is a crazy walk rate. Jose Ramirez had a 15.2% and Matt Carpenter had a 15.1%. The problem for Happ, he didn’t swing at anything, becoming extremely gun shy and his strikeouts still went up. That’s why he’s not ranked in the top 10 for 3rd base. If he can lower his Ks back to prior 2018 levels and hold his walks, well, then he will hit 27-30 homers, hit .260+ and steal 10 bags and be one of the biggest breakouts of 2019. You want in again. UPDATE: Maddon finally had the last straw with Happ, and not like Maddon’s some eco-nerd that won’t use a plastic straw, though that might be true too, but he’s just done with Happ and sent him to Triple-A to start the year. How the once-mighty-who-were-never-mighty-who-were-only-mighty-due-to-our-perceptions have fallen. 2019 Projections: 49/15/47/.242/6 in 318 ABs
43. J.D. Davis – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Crawford. I call this tier, “Gritty.” This tier is flyers when all your flyers are gone. A flyers’ flyer, so to speak. As for Davis, went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.
44. Matt Duffy – In his career, Duffy has excelled at hitting for no power and stealing around ten bases with a good average. Until today, he also has avoided being included in a sentence with ‘excelled.’ 2019 Projections: 48/6/52/.281/10 in 466 ABs
45. Brian Anderson – This is funny (to me). I was expecting to see Anderson’s stats in 156 — 670 plate appearances — and be totally wowed. And, I was. Only not the good wowed. The bad wowed. The wowie wow wowed. The ‘Wawa at 2 AM in the morning for Flaming Hot Cheetos and they’re out’ wowed. The ‘dry cleaner just scored all of the Benihana accounts, but has no way of cleaning shrimp grease out of shirt pockets’ wowed. The ‘Lorraine Bracco outside of The Sopranos and Goodfellas’ wowed. Not a good wowed. 2019 Projections: 64/13/72/.256/3 in 581 ABs
46. Jung Ho Kang – The Pirates named him their starting 3rd baseman (if I were the Pirates I would’ve named him someone else’s 3rd baseman). Kang seemed puzzled, saying, “I didn’t say I will drive in teammates and crush fastballs. I said, ‘I will drive intoxicated and crash fast cars.'” 2019 Projections: 54/15/61/.251/1 in 468 ABs
49. Brandon Drury – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the end of the list. I call this tier, “Dana Dane had nightmares from thinking he had a guy in this tier starting on his fantasy team.” The tier name is pretty self-explantory. Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.
50. Kyle Seager – His skills are eroding like they’re the Florida coastline and neither Al Gore or Dwayne Murphy could help him. By the way, the good bad thing that no one is talking about with Florida’s coastline eroding, if it erodes only at the tip, on a map it will look like Florida is circumcised. I guess the bad thing is if it erodes unnaturally it might look on a map like Florida has a Prince Albert piercing. DO NOT GOOGLE PRINCE ALBERT PIERCING! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. IN ALL CAPS, NO LESS. UPDATE: Seager’s out until June with surgery on his left hand tendon. I wonder if the Seagers are starring in their own O. Henry story called, “The Gift of the Injured Guy.” 2019 Projections: 36/14/44/.234/1 in 327 ABs
51. Todd Frazier – If Frazier is not in a platoon on the Mets, may I make a suggestion: Put him in a platoon. And, since he hit .162 vs. lefties as a righty, may I make one more suggestion: Don’t let Frazier get 300+ at-bats. 2019 Projections: 42/15/48/.207/7 in 325 ABs
63. Colin Moran – You think the Royals, Tigers, Padres and Rangers teams are going to be terrible? Well, they will. But no one is talking about how bad the Pirates could be. Moran might platoon with Jung Ho Kang, and the only person Jung Ho Kang should be platooning with is a teetotaling Mormon. As in Kang drives to the bar and T. Total Mormon drives home. 2019 Projections: 37/9/41/.265 in 317 ABs
64. Patrick Wisdom – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Wisdom was traded to the Rangers for Drew Robinson. Here’s how I know which side I like for this trade. Could I see myself ranking one of these guys for 2019 and, if so, which one? How’s that for Wisdom? Good! Not only will Wisdom be worked into a platoon, he will have a chance to win a DH or 1B job outright. Looking for a guy who won’t be drafted in any leagues who could return huge value? Look no further! In 2017 in Triple-A, he hit 31 homers and last year he went 19/13 in combined Triple-A and majors. There’s a chance he could hit .220 and doesn’t have a guaranteed everyday job, but I like him as an end-game flyer in deep leagues.” And that’s me quoting me! Since that, Wisdom has found himself with a starting job and is suddenly looking a lot more enticing to me. I also go over him in the video at the top of this post. UPDATE: With the signing of Asdrubal, Rangers put common sense aside and all Wisdom. 2019 Projections: 19/7/21/.228/2 in 157 ABs