Please see our player page for J.D. Davis to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Did you know left-handed people are more prone to allergies? In the book Cerebral Dominance: The Biological Foundations, it finds lefties to be 11 times more likely to suffer from allergies than righties. I guess that explains why Patrick Corbin seems allergic to getting hitters out. Furthermore, data collected in 2008 by the Illinois Research […]

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Orlando Arcia went down with a hamstring strain and some teams would’ve just cobbled together a makeshift shortstop out of available major league pieces. A Frankenshortstop, so to speak. And it might’ve been fine, might’ve ran into a hot day or three from whoever they Ehire’d. That’s the kind of shizz other teams do! Not the Braves! I love the Braves for this, by the way. They promote their prospects like they’re Tim McGraw singing Live Like You’re Dying. They’re on a bull named Fu Manchu, and they promote their guys! Love it! Of course, sometimes with pitchers, they come up, surprise hitters for three to six months, then fade into obscurity, unable to handle setbacks. But who cares about that now? Their sticks come up and stick. Yesterday, they promoted Vaughn Grissom from Double-A, where he was 3/7/.363 in 22 games, after going 11/20/.312 in High-A. He appeared in Itch’s Top 50 prospects, and now appears on all of my teams, because I love me some rookie nookie! Plus, he got a slam (1) and legs (1) in his major league game (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs), and the homer was an absolute moonshot over the Green Monster. Haven’t been that impressed by a Braves’ rookie debut since Jason Heyward’s! Okay, that’s not fair, but trying to put things in perspective. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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The Rangers must be looking for a Bubba sparks to rock it very well, because they’re calling up outfielder, Bubba Thompson (1-for-3). Looking at my fantasy team with no speed, “Ah, yeah, I found you, team with an outfield that is booty.” Seeing Prince Fielder’s poster in the Hall of Legends in Arlington, singing softly, “Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin’ everywhere.” Walking into the VIP section of the loge deck, “Hit the player’s club for bout a month or two,” rubs pluot on shirt, “Get it ripe, get it right, hit it with a bite.” Okay, sorry! Bubba Sparxxx makes me laugh. So, the Rangers are calling up Bubba Thompson, whose minor league numbers are eye-poppingly gorge: In 80 games at Triple-A, he hit 13 homers and .303, with 49 steals. Get it ripe, get it right, steal a base on sight! He was in Itch’s top 60 outfielder prospects, and, one love to Itch, but even if he wasn’t, and he had 49 steals in a half season, I’d be interested, because the speed category for all of my fantasy teams is booty, booty, booty, booty, suckin’ everywhere. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Engine revs. It’s the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. Only instead of a Oscar Mayer hat on its front hood, it’s wearing a Padres cap. It’s staring down a lonely country road. Directly, a mile down, aimed right at it is the Dodgers’ team bus. The Dodgers’ team bus revs.

A half mile in front of each of them, at the midpoint is “1st place in the NL West.” What we have here is a game a chicken. Who will get there first? Behind the Dodgers’ team bus wheel is Magic Johnson. Behind the Padres’ pimped-out Weinermobile is the San Diego Chicken. “You’re going mano a chicken? With the Chicken?! This is not a game you want to play, Magic?” That’s the actor who played Magic in the Showtime series on HBO shouting at Magic. “A Showtime series on HBO? Are you talking riddles, Albright?!” That’s the voice inside my head. Back to the white hot asphalt! The San Diego Chicken guns it towards the Dodgers’ team bus! Magic slams down the gas!

Careening down the road, the Chicken bawks, “They need to lose some extra weight!” To get up to speed, the Padres throw out MacKenzie Gore, C.J. Abrams, Robert Hassell III, James Wood and Jarlin Susana. For Magic to get the Dodgers to increase speed, he throws out an anecdote about him hugging Isiah Thomas at half court. “You need more speed, Magic!” The actor who played Magic in the Showtime HBO series screams. Magic says, “Have you heard about the one of me and Clyde the Glide?” It’s not enough! The San Diego Chicken is the type that drives right towards a big trade and waits for the other team to swerve. It ain’t afraid — it accepts that Gore is sometimes necessary.

So, Juan Soto goes to the Padres. They have Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis Jr. and Sexy Dr. Pepper? Um…

Seriously…

Like seriously seriously…

Fun the Jewels, Macho Manny and Sexy Dr. Pepper. Guys and five lady readers, I am doing a horny. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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You ever go into Spencer’s Gifts and ask where the whoopie cushions are then, when shown, say, “No, the ones with the really wet farts?” Ah, I guess we’re built different. I did used to keep myself up at night wondering about the people in Taiwan who would work at the fake vomit factory all day, then go home and tell their loved ones, “No dinner tonight, I lost my appetite.” Just brutally sad. Where’s those peoples’ documentary on Netflix?! Huh?! Any hoo! Spencer Strider (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.60) is fantastic, and I’m not just talking about his mustache. Well, I am, but it’s more than that. His last three starts: 18 IP, 8 hits, 1 run, 3 walks, 30 Ks and a beautiful mustache! How long do we have to wait until this guy turns into Touki Toussaint?! The truly remarkable thing, his peripherals are even purdier than his surface numbers — 14 K/9, 3.4 BB/9, 2.42 xFIP. He’s got a 2.60 ERA, and he’s being unlucky! Mah gawd, Mr. Man Stache! And they say you have to draft starters early. Sure thing, clean-shaven faces. Whatever you say. Anyway. here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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So, the preseason looks like this usually: Update a post from last year with a find and replace for “2022 fantasy baseball,” do a schluffen, and wake me up in time for Opening Day. This year: Is there going to be an Opening Day? Then, I lower my head and walk off, tears rolling down my cheek. Slowly at first, then the tears pick up steam, and now it’s Niagara out of my tear ducts. As I pass a group of snickering kids, I scream, “My contact lenses are bothering me! Respect your elders!” So, since we have a little bit more time — and hopefully only a little bit of time — let’s take a moment and look at each NL divisional team and whom they will likely trot out there as their DH. Trot Nixon? No, that horsey is on a farm upstate. Geez, that sounds like he did a well-choreographed handshake with his maker. He’s just retired. About fourteen years now. Why is this post about Trot Nixon? Hard to say! So, who are the best candidates for DH on the NL East teams, and what can we expect from them for 2022 fantasy baseball?

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Submerge yourself into a garbage dump; take a deep breath…Ah, that’s the smell of the top 20 3rd basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball. Don’t turn your nose up! Don’t turn away from the stench! This is the reality about, uh, fantasy. You have to embrace the stank of the 3rd basemen. Enjoy! Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

The Giants are Mr. Magoo of the MLB. They’re unknowingly walking up a scaffolding and everyone watching on is expecting them to fall, grimacing at starting Wilmer Flores, screaming, “Be careful if you’re going to start Alex Dickerson.” Mr. Magoo’s Giants can’t keep balancing on the precipice without falling, can they? Yet, the Mr. Magoo Giants just keep winning. At top of their improbable lineup sits, LaMonte Wade Jr. aka LMW aka Lavarian Motor Works. LaMonte Wade Jr. sounds like Sanford & Son’s, uh, son, and, like everyone else on the Giants team, he’s Mr. Magoo’ing his way to incredible value. Lavarian Motor Works has been one of the hottest hitters in the last week on the 7-Day Player Rater. How improbable has it been? LaMonte has more homers this year in the majors than he had in any combined year in the minors, and he’s been in the minors since 2015! Yeah, this is pretty improbable, and he has some serious splits where he sits, but that’s no reason not to grab him. Vroom vroom, it’s time to roll out the latest Lavarian Motor Works on your teams. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

J.D. Martinez was first to the Just Dong nickname, even though recently Jeff Bezos tried to co-op it himself:

Well, put aside your Dongs, Just and Jeff! There’s a new Just Dong in the picture. It’s J.D. Davis aka Jonathan Davis Davis aka Jefferson Davis Davis aka Just Dong Davis. Was surprised to see him only rostered in 35% of ESPN leagues, so ding-ding Just Dong, you’re eligible for the Buy column! Back in 2019, Jonathan Davis Davis had his star mitzvah, which had us all scratching our heads, “Did the Astros really lose a trade to the…Mets?” Appizzarently, they did. The only thing stopping J.D. Davis from taking that next step was. Dot dot dot. His health. But he’s good now, and he has himself a rocket ship to the rotating planet of Third Outfielder With Rising Fantasy Value. It’s an outlying planet, but it’s worth making space on your team. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?