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Please see our player page for Eduardo Escobar to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

If Shohei Ohtani was playing when the game of baseball was invented, they would’ve made more rules to make it harder for him. It would’ve been announced via decree by Abner Doubleplay saying, “First off, I killed Abner Doubleday. He’s gone now. Secondly, I have scurvy, so this might be my last decree. Thirdly, there’s […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Brian Anderson swings and misses. “One.” Brian Anderson swings and misses. “Two.” …dissolve to later…Brian Anderson swings and misses. “Uh, I lost count because you dissolved to later. What? It was only a five-second dissolve? So, that’s swing number three? Why dissolve then? Well, whatever the case, I’m no longer counting the licks it takes to get to Sal Frelick.” So, when a guy is behind Brian Anderson and is in his 2nd year of Triple-A and he’s 23 and would immediately become the best contact hitter in the Brewers’ lineup and how many “ands” do I need to do here? Am I counting Licks or Ands? Oh, and he has 35+ steal speed and has some pop and could be the best OBP in the MLB lineup behind maybe only Christian Yelich who’s ~.360. I could go on with the Ands. Like all of us besides our one conjoined twins reader, there’s one but here — but he’s not on the 40-man roster. So, we tweedle our thumbs. Speaking of thumbs, Frelick had thumb surgery in April and likely why he’s even in the minors. He could and should be promoted soon. Three. That’s the number of licks to get to Sal Frelick. Anyway, here’s some more players for Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Turning on the TV, oh, lucky, it’s my favorite movie, Beaches. Wow, Barbara Hershey being selfless and allowing Bette Midler to shine. It’s so beautiful…Oh my God, what are these wet things on my cheeks? I’m crying tears of laughter and sadness that only the movie Beaches can elicit. Now, I am cutting pictures of Ohtani and Reid Detmers (7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.77) out of a magazine and pasting their heads on the TV. Now Reid Detmers is Hershey, and Ohtani, of course, is Bette. Detmers is cold in Ohtani’s shadow. Anyone would be, Ohtani is one of the best of all-time, like Bette, so you can’t compete with that, but Detmers can cheer on his friend, and have an 11.1 K/9, 3.4 BB/9, and 3.64 xFIP. He also has a 13.3% Swinging Strike rate. You know who else has a 13.3% Swinging Strike rate (at least they both did going into yesterday)? For one night, Bette wasn’t better. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s a large contingent of people logging on, who are like, so you like Fernando Tatis Jr. (0-for-5) now? I see, so you like cheaters? Let’s call these people, The Moralists. They’ve never done anything bad in their life. Good for them. Better than me, but they’re likely better than everyone. So, hey, The Moralists, I’m sorry, I grew up loving Mark McGwire, you can’t shame me into caring about steroids now. Here’s a conversation between me and The Moralists:

The Moralist, “You see that great player who is very fun?”
“Fernando Tatis Jr.? Yes, I do see him.”
“I don’t like him anymore because he cheated by taking drugs.”
“Oh, so you’re a nerd?!”

People who are like, “So, you’re defending cheating?” I am not Perry Mason. I am merely excited about the return of a guy I drafted in a fantasy baseball league. A guy who is fun. His name is Fun The Jewels for Chrissake! Any hoo! Welcome back, Fun The Jewels, now LFG! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?