(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)
Brian Anderson swings and misses. “One.” Brian Anderson swings and misses. “Two.” …dissolve to later…Brian Anderson swings and misses. “Uh, I lost count because you dissolved to later. What? It was only a five-second dissolve? So, that’s swing number three? Why dissolve then? Well, whatever the case, I’m no longer counting the licks it takes to get to Sal Frelick.” So, when a guy is behind Brian Anderson and is in his 2nd year of Triple-A and he’s 23 and would immediately become the best contact hitter in the Brewers’ lineup and how many “ands” do I need to do here? Am I counting Licks or Ands? Oh, and he has 35+ steal speed and has some pop and could be the best OBP in the MLB lineup behind maybe only Christian Yelich who’s ~.360. I could go on with the Ands. Like all of us besides our one conjoined twins reader, there’s one but here — but he’s not on the 40-man roster. So, we tweedle our thumbs. Speaking of thumbs, Frelick had thumb surgery in April and likely why he’s even in the minors. He could and should be promoted soon. Three. That’s the number of licks to get to Sal Frelick. Anyway, here’s some more players for Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before getting into the Buy/Sell, just wanted to say Rudy was feeling particularly generous (not sure why, maybe because it’s his birthday this weekend), but from now until July 4th, use discount code FIREWORKS and get 50% off rest of season (not monthly) subscriptions. So, if you always wanted to try them, now is the time. Here’s the link to signup. Anyway II, the Buy/Sell:
Yainer Diaz – Sometimes when Cougs is coming to pick me up, I’ll text her “Yainer” to see if she’s close, and she’ll text me back, “If I wanted to know who I should pick up to replace Alejandro Kirk, I would’ve asked you!” Cougs don’t play.
Patrick Bailey – He was hitting .320 the other day when I had a realization — holy crap he’s hitting .320!
Joey Votto – Surprised I was able to get Votto in one league off waivers, but then I looked at who I was benching for him and I was truly debating Garrett Cooper or Votto way longer than I care to admit (4 minutes). My point, Votto has looked good in his return, but is he dramatically better than most 1B off waivers? I don’t know. Maybe. Too early to say. Give me another 17 years of a sample size.
Triston Casas – You’re going to hear a lot of narratives next preseason about how good Casas is good if you throw out his April from this year, and I just want you to remember I was the first to say it.
Carlos Santana – Oye como yay!
Jared Young – Between Jared Young, Jared Triolo and (non-Jared) Nick Gonzales, I’m pretty meh with a side of yawnstipating and thinking NL-Only, but maybe there’s some lighting in a bottle, which sounds like Bret Boone’s hair dye.
Ha-Seong Kim – Just went to look for some Eminem lyrics to use for Kim’s blurb, and I can’t quote any of them without losing my fantasy baseball blogger’s license and being canceled until I have a sit down with some elders. Any hoo! “Kim’s been hot.” Not a quote from Eminem.
Tony Kemp – Was about to write how hot Kemp’s been and I giggled. No one is picking up Kemp outside of AL-Only, and, even then, I have him in one AL-Only league and strongly considered benching him.
Geraldo Perdomo – Saw this guy’s first name and did a google for the song, Rico Suave. It’s 32 years old and I am so old! Haha, holy crap. Do I sleep in a coffin? Am I that old? My God! Since Perdomo gives speed, power and hits for a good average, he is surprisingly high on the Player Rater.
Maikel Garcia – If I were the type to give you a lede for a guy who can help you right now vs. a sexy prospect call-up who could be something, Maikel makes a strong case for being the best pickup of the week. The Paikup of the Weekel? *door is kicked in, Portmanteau Police throw me to the ground* What? Too much? I am very sorry! You can say I’m…vorry!
J.P. Crawford – Just Peachy is usually, at best, “Just Peach-flavored” and it’s not very peachy at all, but tastes like sorbitol. Recently, he’s been “with real peach juice.”
CJ Abrams – I wasted a good 90 seconds looking to make sure Abrams was available in 50% of leagues or more (because that’s the cutoff for this post), and found he was available in 91% of ESPN leagues. Mmkay. Matt McLain is available in 75% of ESPN. That’s useless.
Eduardo Escobar – Thinking about the Angels starting an infield of Daniel Murphy (who is currently on their Triple-A team), Eduardo Escobar, and Mostsuckass, and Ohtani not even waiting until the offseason to file for free agency. With that said, Phil Nevin is a big ol’ dingbat and will likely play Escobar every inning of every game. Wouldn’t even be surprised if he’s hitting cleanup soon.
Jeimer Candelario – Hitting near .330 in the last week. Wait, there’s more! With a couple of homers! Wow! No? Well, that constitutes someone being hot. So bleh to you!
Jake Fraley – Doing a combo of Fraley and TJ Friedl to say the Reds are the greatest team in a generation (if you’ve forgotten everything that’s come before the month of June), and anyone on that red-hot Reds team is worth rostering.
Corey Julks – Every week I’m on TV and radio with Craig Mish doing some quick hitters, and he said he wanted to discuss Julks last week, so I looked at his player page, and it never fails to floor me how good he was in Triple-A, and no one cares about him. He went 31/22/.270 in Triple-A! I get all the caveats. Julks was old for that level; it’s a friendly-hitter environment, but still. That doesn’t excite you at all?
Max Kepler – The 7-day Player Rater doesn’t lie. Well, it might, I don’t know about latest in AI technology. With that said, Kepler has been great over the last week. No Billy McKinney, but there ya go. Oh, and consider this your Billy McKinney Buy mention too.
Scott McGough – The Gold Bond powder has worked. McGough has finally rid himself of the Chafin! *McGough gives up three and blows the save* Damn it! My mom jeans be Chafin again!
Adbert Alzolay – The good news this year more than past years (or at least it feels that way) is the closers who may or may not get saves are actually good on their own. It’s not like they’re 7+ ERA schmohawks. Well, not all of them at least.
Trevor May – A’s could also turn to Sam Moll on occasion, when there’s a lot of lefties in the 9th. Not thinking a lot of you will pick up May or Moll, but I love the idea of someone so dedicated to getting saves that they grab them. I am floating on your imaginary dedication to saves.
Josh Lowe – Rays could take that moldy cheese that fell behind the jar of pickles in your fridge (don’t ask how I know, you don’t want to know what kind of snooping I be doing) and turn it into a 20/20 player. “Here comes Jim McMuenster with a sell-by date of February 2nd. He’s sitting on a 17/17 season, and it’s August. Boy, it must stink in that locker room.” Josh Lowe isn’t Mr. McMuenster — take these Broken Wings and learn to fly again! — But this Sell might be a tad late, as Lowe’s already been slumping, and Kevin Cash has no loyalty so he’s been platooned too. Wild to look at a guy who could be 15/20 by the All-Star break and think a Lowe sell low. Here we are though. I wouldn’t sell Josh Lowe for pet pigeon that only eats Alka Seltzer tablets, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.