Please see our player page for Jeimer Candelario to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Let me ask you something, is anyone hotter than Tyler O’Neill right now? Not to answer but to ruminate while ignoring both Gurriels, Ramon Laureano and Oscar Mercado.  The answer is obviously no. That O’Neill can play right!  Sorry, sorry.  One more!  O’Neill won the Nobel because he was out standing in a field!  Okay, okay, one more!  O’Neill picked up for La Stellllllllllllla, and it’s all that I Desire.  Okay, sorry, wrong guy that can play right, I mean, left. Won’t let it happen again. Get O’Neill on your team, and drop your Loman.  Wow, surprised you with my lies! So, O’Neill is playing every day with OZUNA nursing his truck driver’s ‘How’s your father’ finger and O’Neill might just be a hot schmotato for power, but he could also be breaking out. He’s merely 24 years old, and has 30-homer power (okay, everyone does, so maybe he has 40-homer power). His current average will fall, but who else do you want on that Long Day’s Journey Into Night.  I got another one in!  Theater nerd alert! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! Before we get into the post, Donkey Teeth and fellow football Razzballers have set up the RazzBowl. It’s played at NFFC, and it’s FREE.  FREE isn’t an acronym too, it’s the monetary cost, as in none.  The gist:  It’s Regular Joes vs. Pros in a Best Ball tourney.  Go there and sign up now!  Anyway II, the Buy/Sell:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Alexa, for Amazon Prime Day can you order me Clorox?  Thank you, Alexa.  Now can you order me clips to hold my mouth and eyes open? Thanks, Alexa! Now can you order me a large man to pour the bleach into my mouth and eyes while shoving me into my oven? Oh, and Alexa, if you can get German Marquez to do it, that would be so appropriate!” German yesterday?  Guten tagged!  Here’s a visual metaphor for you:  A German U-boat filled with men, one toilet and only Taco Bell to eat for a blitzkrieg of runs.  Marquez is driving me insane but he is not an Uber ally, because he is dead to me.  Goodbye, Nazi In Exile, enjoy your long walks along the Chilean coast and your alpaca farm where you shave little German helmets on your animals. After 2 2/3 IP, 11 ER, ERA up to 5.12, I will never draft you again or any Rockies pitcher. I should’ve learned my lesson from Jon Gray last year! (Though, he’s been okay this year — shut up, Contrary Grey!)  In my deeper leagues, where I have no choice, I’ll still be sadly starting Marquez in away games.  *sees his next start is in Yankee Stadium* Lowercase yay!  He might be Deutschland but I’m Dunceland for owning him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Jurickson store called and they’re out of you so please report back to your nearest Jurickson store, because the A’s called up Franklin Barreto, who was named PCL Player of the Month. I just want to see Barreto on top of a Caprese salad, and then I’m going to dream I’m in Tuscany with Diane Lane and will hang a Do Not Disturb sign from my door for three whole minutes.  “Diane, did you enjoy that as much as I did?”  “I’ve never been satisfied.  Can I call you Hugh Jack-in-the-Box?”  “I’d be honored.”  Then we return from Tuscany and get bogged down in bills…stress…PTA meetings, but we’d always have three minutes in Tuscany to remember fondly.  In June, Franklin Burrata collected nine homers, three lasagnas and 13 doubles, and he hit .387 with 32 RBIs. His overall minors numbers were 65/12/48/.296/13 in 277 ABs.  He’s now on his 3rd call-up to the majors, and each time his Ks have skyrocketed like the fireworks that Diane saw in her eyes after our three minutes.  Franklin Barreto will be the A’s regular second baseman moving forward, and Bob Melvin is excited to see what he can do. I’m with Bob!  Which is what I say in every south Florida massage parlor, after explaining I want Lui-Sue to pretend she’s Diane Lane.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At least one of you is reading this with a bandaged thumb from a fireworks mishap. I had a Cousin Pete (Italian side of the family) who lost the tip of his thumb on the 4th, but rather than stop the festivities, he taped the tip of a hot dog on his thumb to act as a tourniquet for the rest of the 4th, so we could all go about our fun-having business. I suggested my Cugino make a PSA about hot dog tourniquets, but I was turned away by NBC Cares. Let us bow our heads and pray that if anyone loses a finger, may there be a proper-sized hot dog nearby.  Okay…*claps hands* Play ball!  Yesterday, Matthew Boyd went 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners (zero walks), 13 Ks, ERA at 3.87.  Flavor Flav secures his giant clock to his chest with one hand and pumps his fist with his other hand, “Yeah Boyd!”  Boyd was the 1st pitcher with less than 6 IP, zero walks and 13 or more Ks.  You kinda have to get hit around a bit to have that record, but, damn, that’s impressive.  Let’s hear it for the Boyd, let’s hear it for the…MATT!  See what I did there? No one saw that coming!  Not a soul!  Boyd is one of the few guys in the entire major leagues who is pitching better than his ERA would indicate.  I’m kidding, everyone’s ERA is crap!  But Boyd’s been very special — 11.9 K/9, 1.7 BB/9, 3.33 xFIP — and is looking like a solid number two with upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

June is here, which means we are already a third of the way through the season. Time flies, I’ll tell you what. It seems like only yesterday this season was just getting started, now it’s full speed ahead and breaking home run records. It happens fast. Today we have an interesting seven game main slate on FanDuel. To differentiate our lineups we’ll focus on weather, and not just for postponement risk. Doing this allows us to get a better idea of the variance to expect from each game compared to neutral conditions. More after a word from our sponsor.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sorry, but first I must purge myself of all Yu song references.  If you don’t like that, Yu Can’t Always Get What Yu Want, but, if Yu try, Yu might get what Yu need, because all Yu Need Is Love, and I Wish Yu Were Here.  Yu Give Love A Bad Name, but I’m gonna Run to Yu.  Even if Rick rolled, I’m Never Gonna Give Yu Up, and shut don’t go up, but Yu do. Yu Take My Breath Away when Yu pitch well, but Yu Never Give Me Your Money, which makes sense since Yu Don’t Know Me.  Without or Without Yu Yu (stutterer!) can put together a solid rotation, but Yu Light Up My Life when it’s the Best of Yu. Have I Told Yu Lately he needed to cut down on his walks? Yesterday, he went 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks (zero walks!), ERA at 5.14, and I Know What Yu Did Last Summer (disambiguation: song), but what about now? Don’t Yu (Forget About Me).  Did the Rangers closer, Chris Martin, Fix Yu? Remains doubtful, but no walks is Arthur’s Theme (Best Yu Can Do).  Any hoo!  Yu Darvish might’ve been dealing with a mechanics issue, and maybe now that’s fixed.  He does have a near-12 K/9, the only bugaboo is his 7+ BB/9, but if he can tame that he immediately shoots to at least a number two, and stops plopping out number twos.  Do Yu Understand (ft Tory Lanez & Gunna).  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Friday everyone! FanDuel has us set up for a full 15 game slate and I have to admit, I’m really excited about the pitching today. I’m like a kid in a candy store….orrrr a [email protected]$$-man with control problems when it comes to eating in a pizza shop? Either way, I’m hungry and we have our choice of Max Scherzer ($12,300) versus the Padres or Jacob deGrom ($10,300) versus the Brewers, but my muy favorito is The Big Maple himself, James Paxton ($11,000), who gets a coveted start in San Francisco. Paxton is coming off two beastly starts against the Red Sox and Royals, where he went 14 IP, 0 ERs, 24 Ks<insert eye-popping wolf gif here>. The lowly Giants pose a minimal threat to the left-handed Paxton, and will have just one batter with an ISO over .200 over the last two seasons in Evan Longoria. Let’s take a look at some more of my favorite plays from this massive FanDuel slate.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Time to power up. Joc Pederson ($4,900) has been absolutely mashing, and this past week he’s turned it up to 11, putting 5 in the seats. Let’s keep it rolling with another bomb or 12. It’s not quite Coors, but Miller Park is pretty good for power too. (Side note, is anyone else thirsty?) Maybe the most impressive part about his start to the season is that he’s actually carrying a decent average. Joc has always had the power, but now he’s rounding out his game and that means big things. It’s gonna be yuge.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I remember distinctly the day Will Clark retired. I just got home from a Winter Solstice Pageant. I was only 12 years old at the time, but my mustache was already coming in. Earlier that night, when I was singing in the pageant, a mother yelled out from the audience, “Who’s the midget with the mustache?” Then another parent yelled out, “Or is it a dwarf? I always get confused.” Another yelled, “Is that kid 40 years old? I don’t know if I want my kid around that adult.” I didn’t think my day could get worse, then, back at home, I heard that Clark retired. I was still in my autumn leaf costume, sobbing into my Pop Rocks, essentially ruining them. A devastating day all around, but things got better eventually. Soon my friends’ parents wouldn’t call the cops when I was hanging out with their kid, thinking I was a 40-something pervert. One mother even complimented me on my mustache. Maybe this was where my love of Cougars first started. What does this have to do with Pete Alonso? Nothing at all. Just like his Spring Training means nothing. Yes, he mollywhopped the ball to parts of the field this spring with a bat that can only be discussed in terms from British literature that no one has ever read.  “Pete Alonso’s bat is so fast I will call him Mr. Dashwood.”  *blank stares*  “Um, yeah.”  He has 80 grade power — Mr. Darcy, you aloof bedswerver!  I’m buying all them shares of Alonso and I talk about him in today’s first Buy video at that top of the post.  Can Colin Firth play him in the movie?  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave.  A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’  A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.”  Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft.  This slow draft took about eighteen days, 3 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds.  Not almost 18 days of straight drafting, mind you.  I don’t need to ice my clicky finger.  It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting.  It does allow you to second-guess your picks.  Actually, more like triple-guess.  (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers.  Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?