Please see our player page for Jeimer Candelario to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

“The best part of any candy bar is the stuff inside the chocolate, so I want a candy bar where the nougat, cookie wafer, crushed peanuts are on the outside of the chocolate. Mouth feel matters too, so the crunchy bits on the outside need to have a soft, chewy texture. Swiss and dutch chocolate are for losers. This candy bar needs to made in The Lou, so I want Missouri chocolate. What is Missouri chocolate? Whatever Willie McGee likes. Willie, please wave.” Willie McGee waves from the back corner of the conference room. We see now Lars Nootbaar holds court in front of the Lars Caandy people. He continues, “Also, I want it to be written “caandy baar” on all the bars. Two A’s, so we need to change all signage around this 5-mile-wide candy empire, that I’ve cordoned off with traffic cones. If you want to work for Kit Kat, get out now! The door’s over there! The only Snickers I want to hear about are chuckles at the water cooler when Willie McGee makes a joke! Do you understand me?” Lars is now screaming into one exec’s face, who is beginning to cry. “Wipe those tears from your face, and go make me a candy bar! Two A’s!” Lars Nootbaar isn’t just a demanding candy CEO, building a nougaty empire, he’s also been one of the hottest bat in the majors for the last month. On the 30-day Player Rater, he’s in the top 40 overall, and he’s now leading off on most days vs. righties. Since the Cards are famous for creating players, it’s only appropriate that they went into a 7/11’s candy aisle and got an idea. This hot Nootbaar won’t melt in your hand, or your fantasy team, so grab him, before he quits baseball to be a full-time candy CEO, like Willy Wonka, who was originally drafted to be a closer, until he discovered he was better stopping Gobs. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Just yesterday, Prospect Itch featured Corbin Carroll as the number one prospect to stash, and now he’s called up. Maybe Itch can make things happen with his words, which is why I’m worried when he talks about locking me in the trunk of a car and driving me into the desert. Also, driving into the desert is Corbin Carroll! Hashtag nailed it! He’s not looking for holes though, and he’s got no holes in his swing. He was also number one on Itch’s Top 25 for Dynasty Leagues. I don’t know if Gunnar Henderson is called up this year, my guess is no, but I wasn’t sure on Corbin Carroll either. I did give you a buy on him about six weeks ago, where I said, “Corbin Carroll has to be on the short list of 2023 ROY candidates if he stays down. Yeah, yeah, keyword: Short. Hardy har har! You tall guys think you’re so cool! ‘Hey, look at me, I can get cereal down without standing on a chair!’ Aren’t you fantastic?! Sounding like an alien who is just discovering old HBO shows, Corbin Carroll is under six feet. Much like Mookie Betts with both power, speed and average. He is the total package like Paul Orndorff.” And that’s me quoting me! I grabbed him in my shallowest league, and I would grab him in any league.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wowza, the last few days have sure been a wild ride and now we’re left to deal with the fallout. For Juan Soto, if anything, it changes his situation for the better because he’s now on a team that’s trying to win with a supporting cast to match. Not a whole lot you can do with this information if you don’t already have him because there’s no way another manager would give him up at this point. A new member of Sexy Dr Pepper’s is one of this season’s bigger surprises. Brandon Drury is in the midst of a breakout season but this move looks like it could be a downgrade for him. The park isn’t as hitter friendly but playing time could be a bigger concern with that stacked lineup. He can play all over defensively but he definitely has more competition now. I won’t say to dump him but I am keeping a close eye on how the lineups are constructed. Grey already went over all the trade deadline fallout and although not specifically points focused he goes over who gets a boost and who takes a dive from changing teams. Now let’s get on to some names to look for on the waiver wire.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

Leody Taveras reminds me of how Marshall Applewhite, the co-leader of the Heaven’s Gate cult, made everyone change their name so it ended with -ody. Too bad he had his entire cult leave behind their earth skins, like they were dry potato skins at TGIF’s that was lacking some sour cream, because Marshall Applewhite would be walking around right now gleefully, “Whody on First? Whatody on 2nd? I don’t knowody on third? Becausody is supposed to be in center, but Leody has replaced him.” That’s Marshall Applewhite, known Hale-Bopp comet and fantasy baseball lover. He called himself Bo and his co-leader called herself Peep (or vice versa, I don’t know), but it’s funny to think about the one guy in the cult who was prolly like, “Hey, uh, guys, Little Bo Peep is one character, and you’ve separated the names into two. It would be like two people renaming themselves Michael and Vincent after Jan-Michael Vincent.” Any hoo! Leody Taveras was a sleeper of mine last year; loved him because of his ability to hit for power and steal some bags, while having great contact, but that fish got flushed when he didn’t pan out. Hows’ever, Leody’s still only 23 years old, has 70-grade speed, surprising power, and he’s currently hitting. That’s right, he’s returned from the dead! (Like those Heaven’s Gate people anticipated.) Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA–”
“–Breathe, Grey! Come back to us! We’re losing him!”
“Someone put out a cape, I think I’m going to faint like a damsel.”

Granted, I don’t know much about basketball, but he compared himself to LeBron? Yo, has Jeimer Candelario had a break from reality? I guess tying Aaron Judge with the most homers in the 2nd half with four can play tricks on your ego. Yesterday, Jeimer Candelario (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 10th homer, and 4th in the last week. He was a sleeper of mine this past offseason — not great, Bob! — but he is hot now. By the way, his ten homers leads the Tigers in homers, and that is so freakin’ funny to me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Leagues are won and lost on the Merrill Kellys (Kellies? Kelli?). Nailing your top picks helps, but those are your top picks. Most times it’s just bad luck if they don’t work out. The later picks? Those separate from the men and five lady readers from the boys and girls. The picks that everyone rolls their eyes over and yawns. The picks that people are like, “Hey, I have to get home and leave this five-hour draft. Just give me whomever is leftover out of Merrill Kelly and Miles Mikolas.” Then your leaguemates goof around and finally are like, “Let’s give Chuck, Merrill Kelly, because Kelly and Chuck both suck.” Those two pitchers — Kelly and Mikolas — weren’t pulled from thin air. They were both drafted on average right next to each other at 483th overall. Sitting around them were Alex Reyes, Rich Hill and Michael Pineda. If you nailed the Kelly, and/or Mikolas in deep leagues? You were sitting pretty, just as Merrill Kelly (8 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.04) was yesterday, and all season. That’ll teach your leaguemates to try and sabotage you with Merrill Kelly. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’ve prayed to the House of Mustache, knelt before the King of Knows-A-Thing, drank from the Fantasy Master Lothario’s Kool-Aid, wept into the Cup of What Am I Doing With Jose Berrios, farted in the direction of everyone who drafts a starter early, then you did not enjoy Gerrit Cole (7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.14) last night. No worries, we are here for each other during these difficult days. If one of you reading this had Cole go last night, I am screaming, “Infidel,” at you while spraying you with vape juice (it’s all I have handy). We must live together without the aces and die together without the aces. Y’all who are sneaking aces are cheating and you best sleep with your eyes open. If you really want to know how Cole’s doing (why?), he’s doing great. His peripherals look as great as they’ve been post-Spider Tack — 11.6 K/9, 2.4 BB/9, 2.73 xFIP. The best ever he’s looked? Meh, not really. That was in Houston. The best he’s looked with the Yankees? Borderline acceptable to say that. Honestly, he’s great. Remember, it’s not about us missing out on Cole, it’s about the guys we’re able to get later in place of him. For unstints, his opponent last night: Shane McClanahan (6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 1.81). Imagine seeing both Cole and McClanahanananananananan’s numbers this year and being like, “That’s why you draft Cole in the 1st round!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?