Please see our player page for Jeimer Candelario to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Wowza, the last few days have sure been a wild ride and now we’re left to deal with the fallout. For Juan Soto, if anything, it changes his situation for the better because he’s now on a team that’s trying to win with a supporting cast to match. Not a whole lot you can do with this information if you don’t already have him because there’s no way another manager would give him up at this point. A new member of Sexy Dr Pepper’s is one of this season’s bigger surprises. Brandon Drury is in the midst of a breakout season but this move looks like it could be a downgrade for him. The park isn’t as hitter friendly but playing time could be a bigger concern with that stacked lineup. He can play all over defensively but he definitely has more competition now. I won’t say to dump him but I am keeping a close eye on how the lineups are constructed. Grey already went over all the trade deadline fallout and although not specifically points focused he goes over who gets a boost and who takes a dive from changing teams. Now let’s get on to some names to look for on the waiver wire.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

Leody Taveras reminds me of how Marshall Applewhite, the co-leader of the Heaven’s Gate cult, made everyone change their name so it ended with -ody. Too bad he had his entire cult leave behind their earth skins, like they were dry potato skins at TGIF’s that was lacking some sour cream, because Marshall Applewhite would be walking around right now gleefully, “Whody on First? Whatody on 2nd? I don’t knowody on third? Becausody is supposed to be in center, but Leody has replaced him.” That’s Marshall Applewhite, known Hale-Bopp comet and fantasy baseball lover. He called himself Bo and his co-leader called herself Peep (or vice versa, I don’t know), but it’s funny to think about the one guy in the cult who was prolly like, “Hey, uh, guys, Little Bo Peep is one character, and you’ve separated the names into two. It would be like two people renaming themselves Michael and Vincent after Jan-Michael Vincent.” Any hoo! Leody Taveras was a sleeper of mine last year; loved him because of his ability to hit for power and steal some bags, while having great contact, but that fish got flushed when he didn’t pan out. Hows’ever, Leody’s still only 23 years old, has 70-grade speed, surprising power, and he’s currently hitting. That’s right, he’s returned from the dead! (Like those Heaven’s Gate people anticipated.) Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA–”
“–Breathe, Grey! Come back to us! We’re losing him!”
“Someone put out a cape, I think I’m going to faint like a damsel.”

Granted, I don’t know much about basketball, but he compared himself to LeBron? Yo, has Jeimer Candelario had a break from reality? I guess tying Aaron Judge with the most homers in the 2nd half with four can play tricks on your ego. Yesterday, Jeimer Candelario (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 10th homer, and 4th in the last week. He was a sleeper of mine this past offseason — not great, Bob! — but he is hot now. By the way, his ten homers leads the Tigers in homers, and that is so freakin’ funny to me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Leagues are won and lost on the Merrill Kellys (Kellies? Kelli?). Nailing your top picks helps, but those are your top picks. Most times it’s just bad luck if they don’t work out. The later picks? Those separate from the men and five lady readers from the boys and girls. The picks that everyone rolls their eyes over and yawns. The picks that people are like, “Hey, I have to get home and leave this five-hour draft. Just give me whomever is leftover out of Merrill Kelly and Miles Mikolas.” Then your leaguemates goof around and finally are like, “Let’s give Chuck, Merrill Kelly, because Kelly and Chuck both suck.” Those two pitchers — Kelly and Mikolas — weren’t pulled from thin air. They were both drafted on average right next to each other at 483th overall. Sitting around them were Alex Reyes, Rich Hill and Michael Pineda. If you nailed the Kelly, and/or Mikolas in deep leagues? You were sitting pretty, just as Merrill Kelly (8 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.04) was yesterday, and all season. That’ll teach your leaguemates to try and sabotage you with Merrill Kelly. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’ve prayed to the House of Mustache, knelt before the King of Knows-A-Thing, drank from the Fantasy Master Lothario’s Kool-Aid, wept into the Cup of What Am I Doing With Jose Berrios, farted in the direction of everyone who drafts a starter early, then you did not enjoy Gerrit Cole (7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.14) last night. No worries, we are here for each other during these difficult days. If one of you reading this had Cole go last night, I am screaming, “Infidel,” at you while spraying you with vape juice (it’s all I have handy). We must live together without the aces and die together without the aces. Y’all who are sneaking aces are cheating and you best sleep with your eyes open. If you really want to know how Cole’s doing (why?), he’s doing great. His peripherals look as great as they’ve been post-Spider Tack — 11.6 K/9, 2.4 BB/9, 2.73 xFIP. The best ever he’s looked? Meh, not really. That was in Houston. The best he’s looked with the Yankees? Borderline acceptable to say that. Honestly, he’s great. Remember, it’s not about us missing out on Cole, it’s about the guys we’re able to get later in place of him. For unstints, his opponent last night: Shane McClanahan (6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 1.81). Imagine seeing both Cole and McClanahanananananananan’s numbers this year and being like, “That’s why you draft Cole in the 1st round!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzlings, I am willing to bet at least a few of you that have watched and, perhaps, even enjoyed the 1996 film The Craft, starring the inimitable Fairuza Balk. Imagine a group of four Catholic high school girls begin to dabble in the dark arts. It begins innocently enough with spells for levitation, hair color […]

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To try to appeal more to teenage boys, the Rangers should install a giant lotion bottle in center field, and each time Marcus Semien homers, it explodes with lotion onto the fans in the bleachers. Yesterday, there would be a lot of facials from Semien, as he went 7-for-8, 4 runs, 3 RBIs and a triple slam (4, 5, 6) and double legs (9, 10). Halleberrylujah. That might actually be the single greatest day ever. Could Semien be coming out of his early-season funk like Jason Biggs once came out of a tube sock? Okay, those other words were likely avoidable. Is Semien about to explode? Again, avoidable! Is Semien about to explode in a good way in all his glory, whole and pulsating. Okay, more very avoidable words! Here’s what I thought on our Youtube channel. Click that and click subscribe so I can feed my children (Ted, a dog).

Before you say, this rooster, Grey, is caca-cuckoo crazy. Entering yesterday’s games, he had an expected batting average of .201, and one of the worst exit velocities in the major. Everything across the board on his page is saying he really was this bad. Not unlucky. Could he turn it all around? Does Marcus Semien sound like a bath towel that you tell your mom you got paste on? Yes and yes! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A sheet attached to a building is covering something in front of the Sears sign on a storefront. The closer we look we see I’m standing on the letter S of Sears. I wave like Forrest Gump. Screaming now, “Okay, when I jump, make sure you film this reveal, because it’s going to be spectacular! …and 1…2…3!” Holding onto the end of the sheet, I jump off the S and Tarzan down the side of the building. Then, the sheet gets to its natural conclusion and, rather than revealing under the sheet the big surprise, it leaves me dangling ten feet off the ground. “Um, a little help.” Cougs puts down the camera and yanks on my feet, and I scream, “Yanks! Perfect!” I fall to the ground, and the sheet covers me, but now it’s revealed that the sheet was covering a spraypainted JP in front of Sears. So, JP Sears (5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks) had his major league debut. It was vs. the Orioles, so the salt is out to count grains, but he looked fantastic. He has a 93-95 MPH fastball, decent slider and change, and elite command. That’s the JP Sears catalog of pitches. Yanks also have five starters in the rotation, so, with those going out of business sales on Sears, don’t expect refunds. Whether he stays in the rotation or not, he’s someone to keep an eye on, because elite command plays everywhere. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kyle Tucker (2-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 6th and 7th homer) has three asses, because he’s — count them with me now — an unassuming assassin.

That photo of him brings me so much joy. He’s like, “I’m on your fantasy team? Okay, cool.” He looks like he just let out a fart, and only he knows it. Using one of his three asses, I presume. This Kyle Tucker assault was brought to you initially by Nathan Eovaldi (1 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.32) as he gave up five homers, all in the 2nd inning. Apparently, Manfred tried to work the 2019 ball back into circulation. Also, in this game, not simply Eovaldi — Nothan? Novaldi? Meh, maybe now’s not the time for portmanteaus — Yordan Alvarez (2-for-4, 3 runs) hit his 12th homer. Captain Woo Cubano gonna star in Dongs Just Wanna Have Fun; Yuli Gurriel (2-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 3rd, and 3rd homer in the last five days for the smoldering schmotato; Jeremy Pena (2-for-5) hit his 7th for a nice welcome-back-old-friend to the lineup and to the New England area (he’s from Are-Eye); Michael Brantley (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 3rd homer, and I just thought of something, everyone on the Astros is better than that former Astros player Carlos Correa. Bummer for him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?