Marlins outfielder Bryan De La Cruz was in full control Friday night collecting four hits against the Angels, including a two run tank in the seventh, that looked just like this. Wait, that was it! We like to say that ball was Bryan De La Crrrrushed! The dong gave the Fish a comfy three run […]
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Triston Casas
Please see our player page for Triston Casas to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Domingo German was coasting once again, had the line 3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.75, when he was ejected for sticky substance. Oh, Domingoo, you giant freakin’ moron. What’s the German word for hearing the Jays talk about the Yankees cheating and thinking, “Hey, that’s a good idea?” Fadenfraud. Also, this whole “touching a guy’s hand” to see if there’s anything on it is so hilariously stupid. Like touching a guy’s hand is scientific. The Handump’s Tale, a dystopian story of how one umpire touched things and was able to discern what on earth was on someone’s hand. “That’s chewing gum and the adhesive from a baby’s diaper.” Umps touching pitchers’ hands is like Name That Tune, but with touching. Domingo German, though, this guy’s a real bumbling idiot:
Domingo German the most inept cheater pic.twitter.com/dqJNqsdR5P
— Razzball (@Razzball) May 17, 2023
He’s like the kid who has ice cream all over his shirt then says, “I didn’t eat ice cream.” You’re covered in it, you absolute ding dong! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hey, what’s this red thing? *touches flame* Ow! Brandon Pfaadt! Hey, what’s this yellow part of the flame? *touches fire again* Ow! Gavin Stone! Hey what’s giant inferno? *touches a building that’s on fire* Ow! Drey Jameson! Hey what’s this flaming hot ball? *touches the sun* Ow! Grayson Rodriguez! *steps on a rake labeled Tanner Bibee and falls into fiery pit* Ahhhhhhhhh noooooooo I just wanted to pick up Eury Perez! So, guess what, we have a new rookie pitcher to make you want to rip your eyes out. Here’s what I said previously about this new Marlins’ call-up, “Eury Perez for 2023 fantasy baseball is going to come down to when Eury Perez debuts for the Marlins. Once he debuts, he’s going to be the top FAAB guy that week and he’s going to be a game-changer for all mixed leagues. Wanna know some numbers to make you drool a little? Okay, let’s do it: In 17 starts, he threw a 12.7 K/9 at Double-A. His command was at a 3 even, but he’s got 70-grade command, so, yeah, we could see a 12 K/9 and a 2.2 BB/9 in the majors. Ya know, just your standard run-of-the-mill ace. You can’t hit a 97 MPH fastball coming off a 87 MPH change and vice versa. It’s just not happening if my man’s tunneling, and, yeah, he could be a future Hall of Famer.” And that’s me quoting me! He might be booted when Trevor Rogers returns, but I would grab him everywhere, just in case he sticks. I’m a moth and these rookie pitchers are my flame! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?“My wrist, well, guys and gals, chicks and *icks, you’re not gonna believe this, but, it’s 100%. My wrist is healed. It’s the best it’s ever felt. My wrist feels like Elton John during his imperial phase. My wrist is playing Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, and people aren’t hearing crap, but they’re hearing a masterpiece. My wrist is Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, doing all kinds of crazy judo chops in the supermarket aisle, and people are believing it, and are riveted. My wrist is Ty Cobb without the racism. My wrist is perfect!” This was a quote from Alex Kirilloff this year, and last year, and the year before. He was called up by the Twins, and played 1st yesterday (1-for-2). Kirilloff has been struggling with wrist issues since 2021. Almost exactly two years ago, he tore ligaments in his wrist. Those are the worst kind of after-dinner mints. Why do we care? If he’s healthy, he’s a 40-homer hitter with a .280 average. Sadly, we don’t know if we’re ever getting the purported strong-wristed Elton John or a limp-wristed Kirilloff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Extra Credit to the first person in the comments who can tell me what classic song lyric is referenced in the title! The first two weeks of marriage. The first day in a new job. The first 30 minutes of a date. All of these are meaningless sample sizes. Well, not exactly. Each of these […]
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Spencer’s Gifts Nearly As Perfect As I Remembered
April 25, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 437 Commentsby: Grey
Spencer Strider is the best starter, right? I’m asking, because his mustache clouds my judgment. I know Everywhere Blair has Spencer Strider ranked number one in his top 100 starters, but Blair might get clouded by the mustache too. His mustache is very beautiful. More beautiful than mine? Who is to say? Yes! Fine, I am saying it. It is more beautiful than mine. I feel like it’s Rollie Fingers, Spencer Strider then Me. That’s it. That’s my mustache rankings. I’m not even number one for my own mustache rankings! I am pitiful! My best pitchers in baseball rankings likely start at Spencer Strider too. Yesterday, he went 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 13 Ks, ERA at 1.80. His ERA might be a little bit higher than Gerrit Cole’s. Strider is basically Jacob deGrom but without seven straight years of being unable to throw more than 75 IP. Strider is Ohtani, but without the 35-homer bat. Okay, that’s pretty good for Ohtani. I’m on the Struggle Bus going choo-choo like I’m on a train, because Strider’s mustache has me so mesmerized, trying to come up with a legit top five starters based on stuff alone. Eff it! Top 5 of the top of my head based on stuff and nothing else: Strider, deGrom, Ohtani, Greene, and Strider’s Mustache. Strider ranks twice in five starters! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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What’s Worse Colonoscopies Or Marathons? First Base Ranks
April 19, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 11 Commentsby: TheEducator
I try to not be reactionary. I know it’s a marathon, not a sprint. I also know that I will not be running a marathon or a sprint any time soon. Why on earth would you run a marathon? That’s like over 20 miles. That’s more than I have run in my entire life altogether. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Rasmussen Hides Eggs On Scoreboard
April 10, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 470 Commentsby: Grey
The crazy analytics that the Rays have that no one else has: Pinpointing what players are good at and reenforcing that some players only do what they’re good at. For unstints, they’ll tell someone like Drew Rasmussen (7 IP, 0 ER, 1hit, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.00) “pitch well,” and only “pitch well.” Crazy, right? Sometimes they’ll say to a hitter, “Hit well.” That has never been done before by a Major League Baseball team. One time they said to Vidal Brujan, “Be terrible,” and what do you know? What did he do? I’m gonna give you one guess here. He was terrible! It’s analytics like this that allow the Rays to save money too. The Rays received a bill from their travel department and were like, “This is way too much money to travel to games,” so they said to Manuel Margot, “Fly the plane,” and that’s what he did. Analytics, that’s what this is. So, I went to look to see if Drew Rasmusen had a sleeper post written by me, but he didn’t. Guess I merely loved him vs. wrote him up. Wanna know how much pitching there is in the majors? Rasmussen has a 2.96 ERA in 243 1/3 IP in his career. Yeah, but you have to draft a top starter. Mmkay. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?I would give myself a 60 grade on parenting. Solid, all star level father. Lots of strengths and only one 20 grade. That would be building toys. Legos, especially, are the bane of my existence. I hate them. I always have. When my brilliant daughter wanted to do a building competition, I could only build […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Giants Feeling Great After A Bottle of KOpechtate
April 4, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 306 Commentsby: Grey
There’s no direct evidence that the more handsome a pitcher the more he’s going to screw you over — that we know of. We just haven’t studied it yet! Someone take a ruler and measure the distance between the eyes on Michael Kopech (4 2/3 IP, 7 ER). Now measure the inches on his curve break. Do they match? The golden ratio that is his cheekbones, is that equal to his current 13.50 ERA? This is not eugenics, because we’re doing it for fantasy baseball purposes and not fantasy exterminations. Wonder if Kopech was tipping his pitches, because, while I don’t have a ton of faith in him, that was even bad for the pretty boy. First up, Joc Pederson (1-for-3) hit his 2nd homer. Buckle up! Joc is the type to hit 24 homers in five games, then nothing for three months. Then Mike Yastrzemski (2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 1st homer. Carl’s Jr. Jr. said make the 1st one animal style! Next up, Michael Conforto (2-for-6) hit his 1st homer. More incredibly, Conforto still hasn’t injured himself. Then Thairo Estrada (2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (1) and legs (2). That’s Thairo Estrada sleeper to you. Hopefully, he’s fine, because he left the game after taking a foul off his leg. Finally, David Villar (2-for-4, 5 RBIs) hit his 1st and 2nd homer, and this sucks. I really need Casey Schmitt to replace this schmohawk. C’mon, Villar ill will, do your job! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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Prospect News: American League East Opportunity Watch
March 15, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects, Featured | 42 Commentsby: The Itch
Baltimore Orioles
Kyle Stowers could open the season at DH after a 107 wRC+ in 34 major league games last season and a 130 wRC+ in 95 games at Triple-A. He might not be good enough to hold off the next wave of young Orioles, but there’s plenty of playing time on offer in 2023 if he performs. He’s hitting .269 with seven strikeouts, five walks, and zero home runs. That’s probably good enough for him to get the gig.
Now let’s talk about the next wave of young Orioles.
Please, blog, may I have some more? First Base Ranks: The First Of…Several
March 15, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, First Basemen, Players by Position | 10 Commentsby: TheEducator
The Educator here, and I’m dealing from the corner. And with my first sentence, I mix drugs and school. Solid start. First base rankings, right here. This is an initial ranking, based on some weird thoughts I have which I will detail. I’m mainly going to focus on the ranks that I have that are […]
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