[brid autoplay=”true” video=”372782″ player=”10951″ title=”2019 Razzball Draft Kit 2nd Basemen”]

One super quick word about the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball and all the 2019 fantasy baseball rankings, each ranking appears insanely long and it is, but I imagine in a lot of leagues guys won’t have eligibility, because I’m using the extremely lax Yahoo position eligibility.  Without further ado because this post is longer than the combined length of the Gutenberg Bible and Steve Guttenberg’s IMDB page, I mention where tiers start and stop and all projections are mine and cannot be reproduced without the express written consent of Major League–Damn, I’m being told by Major League Baseball I did not have express written consent to use their warning.  You guys!  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball:

1. Javier Baez – Went over him in the top 10 for 2019 fantasy baseball.

2. Jose Ramirez – Went over him in the top 20 for 2019 fantasy baseball.

3. Adalberto Mondesi – Went over him in the top 20 for 2019 fantasy baseball.

4. Jose Altuve – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Merrifield.  I call this tier, “There’s no dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.”  Admittedly, most of my tier names are to lure random people to the site from Google to up our bounce rate.  With that said, there’s a fan theory that states there’s no dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, and it’s very believable.  The theory states that the character Richard Attenborough played is a P.T. Barnum-type who made facsimile dinos for an amusement park, then brought a paleontologist and others there to see if he can fool them into thinking the dinos were real.  This is better than my fan theory:  No one saw Avatar, instead James Cameron bought 6 billion Fandango tickets for the reward points.  Similar to the no dino theory, could all our excitement for this elite tier of 2nd basemen be a lie?  They all seem so real, so sexy, so attractive and, c’mon, thesaurus, give me another one!  So prurient!  Hmm, you sure, thesaurus?  That sounds wrong.  Any hoo!  As for Altuve, as alluded to in my top 20 overall, I’m out on Altuve.  Obviously, I can’t draft him ranking him this low.  Altuve is lower than his top closet shelf.  His steals are falling further than an item on his top closet shelf.  His power was never elite.  Okay, it was elite for a guy who would be turned away for over half of all roller coasters due to a height requirement.  His Ks were up a little bit, but I still think he can produce an elite batting average.  However, I don’t pay for average, which isn’t a bad motto in all facets of life.  Also go over Altuve in the video at the top of the post.  2019 Projections:  92/15/82/.309/21 in 582 ABs

5. Ozzie Albies – I wanted to love Albies going into my ranking, and, brucely, if he falls in a draft, I might still draft him, but it is doubtful.  His 2nd half was just so bad (4 HRs, 5 SBs, .226) I’m taking a year off from him.  Albies could be described simultaneously with the 2019 world tour of Black Sabbath.  What in the devil happened to Ozzie?  Did someone bite his bat head off?  2019 Projections:  77/21/86/.270/18 in 578 ABs

6. Whit Merrifield – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

7. Travis Shaw – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Odor.  I call this tier, “Middle ground is for rabbits trying to cross a highway.”  As bleh as I was on the first tier, I like this tier.  If you managed to score a top three 2nd baseman, then I could see taking an MI with one of these two baggers.   As for Shaw, here’s his last two years in homers:  31 and 32.  Can you guess what he’ll hit this year?  33, doode!  The Patrick Ewing of numbers.  Okay, drilling down on Shaw’s peripherals, I think there’s actually a chance for him to hit 40+ homers.  This is one of my out of left field potential top ten fantasy producers.  He’s 28 years old so in his prime.  His fly ball rate is 44.5% and his 18.3% HR/FB rate last year is repeatable, but he had a 20.5% HR/FB rate the year before.  A 44.5% fly ball rate with a 20% HR/FB rate across a full season would give him 38 homers.  It is not hard at all for me to get that number over 40.  As long as Craig Counsell doesn’t inexplicably bench Shaw when the Brewers inexplicably trade for some random infielder they don’t need, Shaw’s my pick him to win ’em.  2019 Projections: 82/36/104/.252/5 in 564 ABs

8. Max Muncy – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

9. Jonathan Villar – Already gave you my Jonathan Villar sleeper.  It was written on the dark side of a Dominican’s frosted tips. 2019 Projections:  84/16/67/.267/48 in 549 ABs

10. Rougned Odor – Three years ago, he went 33/14/.271.  Then there was the Odorpocalypse when he hit .204, but he still hit 30 HRs and stole 15 bags.  Last year, he corrected everything that was wrong with the .204.  He hit .253, nearly doubling his walk rate and shrunk his Ks, while controlling the strike zone better in quantifiable ways.  His swinging strike rate went down and his chase rate went down by almost ten percent.  He simply needs to add back in the power stroke, and, at age 25, I see no reason why he can’t.  2019 Projections:  74/25/82/.258/12 in 555 ABs

11. Gleyber Torres –  This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Profar.  I call this tier, “How do I feel?”  By the tier name I mean, I’m not sure how I feel about these guys in relation to other rankings.  Usually I have some idea what I’m thinking.  If I’m more or less optimistic about a player.  With these guys, I think I’m less, but I honestly don’t know.  They’re basically Vietnamese Water Spaghetti.  This is why we need the offseason.  If we went right from September into drafting season, I would’ve been in the Michael Keaton star vehicle, Gung Ho, for Gleyber.  Now, man, I am so blasé.  Torres had a .301 BABIP in the 2nd half and only produced a .249 average with nine homers.  As my dog, Ted, would say, woof.  2019 Projections:  75/24/84/.252/8 in 565 ABs

12. Jurickson Profar – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

13. Robinson Cano – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Schoop.  I call this tier, “No dur territory — durritory?”  This tier name is self-explanatory.  You should know what you’re getting from these guys.  As for Cano, went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

14. Matt Carpenter – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

15. Jonathan Schoop – Here’s what I said when he signed, “Signed with the Twins for one year to bridge the gap until prospect, Travis Blankenhorn, is ready, i.e., blank-around-the-horn to Blankenhorn.  I keed, Schoop’s not that bad.  The Brewers’ GM was brutally honest recently saying he made a mistake trading for Schoop.  Well, I’m gonna say he just compounded that error by not signing him for less than $8 million.  You can’t get a potential 25+ homer 2nd baseman for eight million in 1990, forget now.  I know he was awful last year, but he’s 27 years old and has averaged 27 homers every year.  Hey, 27’s wild!  Like the really terrible blackjack player once said.” And that’s me quoting me!  2019 Projections:  66/28/78/.261/1 in 523 ABs

16. Yoan Moncada – This tier goes from here until Gordon.  I call this tier, “Millennials ruined enthusiasm for 2nd basemen.”  If millennials could ruin mayonnaise, democracy, divorce and everything else, they’ve now ruined my enthusiasm for 2nd basemen too.  If I was vehemently against the first tier, and loving the 2nd tier of 2nd basemen, then I’m so whatever on this tier.  By the way, know why divorce rates are so low for millennials?  Divorce attorneys don’t accept Square.  Also, dealing with divorce paperwork takes too much adulting.  I can’t even!  As for Moncada, I wanna get jacked up on Moncada enthusiasm like I’ve chugged a bottle of Pepto Bismol after a scientist finally figured out how to separate out the Pep molecule from the “to Bismol,” but I fear that if I draft him I’d just go full Pepto.  2019 Projections:  86/19/59/.230/14 in 589 ABs

17. Daniel Murphy – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

18. Yuli Gurriel – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

19. DJ LeMahieu – Signed with the Yankees to be a super utility guy once Didi returns from Tommy John surgery.  *counting how many games other than 2nd base DJ’s played*  1 game at shortstop in 2014…1 game at 1st base in 2014…Okay, I’m going to count to myself, but it’s not a lot.  DJ will be on the one’s and two’s, and when Didi returns he may be on 3rd base too.  He should still see plenty of at-bats, because who knows when Didi will be healthy to return and other injuries will happen.  2019 Projections: 68/14/62/.285/8 in 504 ABs

20. Brian Dozier – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Dozier) signed with the Nationals.  Dozier’s peripherals scream, ‘Aging guy — beware!’ Then they lower their hearing aid.  Last year, he hit .215, but his strikeout rate was 20.4%, about his career average, his walk rate 11.1%, above career norm, and his BABIP plummeted, which should mean he’s due for a rebound.  However (NOOOOO!!!), he got old, which means less line drives, more ground balls, more weak fly balls, his BABIP fell because that’s his new norm, and his average home run went 379 feet, which is insane.  When Dozier came to bat, did they put the outfield fences on dollies and slide them in 20 feet? I didn’t even know you could hit one 379-foot homer, let alone 21 of them.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2019 Projections:  71/19/78/.229/12 in 571 ABs

21. Dee Gordon – This is gonna be me when Dee Gordon is drafted way before this point, “Okay, cool,” as I seductively lick Cheetos dust from my fingers as I wait for my pick.  Only seductively because I am unable to lick my fingers any other way.  It’s my cross to bear.  2019 Projections:  71/2/29/.265/34 in 615 ABs

22. Joey Wendle – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Hernandez.  I call this tier, “Escape at Dannemora.”  By the tier name I mean, Escape at Dannemora was one of the best TV shows of the last year.  Patricia Arquette should win an EGOT for it.  Ben Stiller, Benicio del Toro, Paul Dano, and the guy that plays Arquette’s husband were all incredible.  Before I start sounding like Rex Reed, let me just say, you should watch it.  Now, what does that have to do with this tier?  You likely don’t even know what channel Escape at Dannemora was on.  There was so little buzz about it, I had never heard of it until I stumbled on it.  That’s this tier.  No one is talking about any of these guys and they could legitimately be factors in all fantasy leagues.  As for Wendle, I just pointed to the ground next to my feet and said to myself, “See that?  You dropped the ball for not writing a Joey Wendle sleeper.”  2019 Projections:  72/16/80/.279/14 in 561 ABs

23. Garrett Hampson – I already gave you my Garrett Hampson fantasy.  It was written after chugging a Fanta.  One super quick word about Hampson, I’m still waiting for the Rockies to inexplicably sign a middle infidel.  If we get to March 1st and the Rockies have not, I will begrudgingly move Hampson up.  UPDATE:  We’re close enough to March 1st, so I moved Hampson up.  2019 Projections:  68/8/54/.254/31 in 405 ABs

24. Willy Adames –  Already gave you my Willy Adames sleeper.  I wrote it while wondering if maybe calling every single Rays player a sleeper was a misstep.  2019 Projections:  61/20/74/.254/12 in 549 ABs

25. Cesar Hernandez – I’ll be honest with you, I moved Cesar between three different tiers before landing on him here.  I love him if he does get everyday at-bats on top of the Phils’ lineup, but every time I finished thinking that, I start having panic attacks that Cesar would either get moved down the lineup, benched or Gabe Kapler would use him as his 7th inning man because he went through all his pitchers by the 6th.  Why I finally settled on Cesar would get the at-bats is because as manic as Kapler is with making moves, he started Cesar in 161 games last year for 605 ABs, and he performed, so why mess with a good thing?  Just as I finish that thought, I think about how Kapler is totally going to make me regret drafting Cesar.  No!  He won’t!  *two seconds later*  Will he?  Gah!  2019 Projections:  71/16/64/.256/16 in 532 ABs

26. Yolmer Sanchez – Want a possible Max Muncy breakout out (stutterer!) of absolutely nowhere?  Yolmer.  Or if Fred Flintstone is reading, Yolllllllllllllllmer!  2019 Projections:  72/15/78/.261/12 in 580 ABs

27. David Fletcher – His last name sounds like someone who vomits, and he’s the sexiest Fletcher outside of New York Fashion Week.  Also, went over him in the video at the top of the post.  2019 Projections:  71/12/51/.281/10 in 541 ABs

28. Jeff McNeil –  Truth bomb alert!  I almost wrote a McNeil sleeper post, but A) Mets B) Mets C) There’s no C. D) The Mets are saying he might not have a set position and be more of a floater, and, ever since Meatballs, there’s never been a good use of a floater. E) Mets F) Mets G) I wasn’t as blown away by his projections that I came up with as I thought I would be.  H) That’s about it.  I) Whoa, there’s a HI in the middle of the alphabet?  Who’s trying to say hello?!  UPDATE:  With Lowrie’s injury and McNeil’s flexibility to play multiple positions, I moved him up.  2019 Projections: 56/17/59/.269/8 in 454 ABs

29. Niko Goodrum – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

30. Enrique Hernandez – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

31. Asdrubal Cabrera –  This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Zobrist.  I call this tier, “Nas and hysteria.”  Nas is a great rapper.  Debatable how great, I suppose.  Illmatic is a classic.  Are there about five albums in his discography that are just bleh?  Yeah, bunch of duds.  Through the great albums and not-so-good ones, he manages to rhyme hysteria at least once.  If you Google Nas + lyrics + hysteria, Google is like, “Too many results, please narrow your search.”  Nas rhymed hysteria in his debut verse on Main Source’s BBQ and every verse after!  I get it, Nas, you can rhyme hysteria and area.  How that pertains to this tier?  At-bats are a good thing, but too many at-bats for these guys, and it’s Nas and hysteria.  As for Asdrubal, MLB offseason is like a game of hot potato for free agents.  Last middle infielder without a contract gets stuck with the hot potato.  Though, they have to bring their own potato because they’ll be playing in Asia where there’s no potatoes.  (Obviously any free agent’s ranking and projections are subject to change when he signs.)  UPDATE:  Signed with the Rangers.  He will attempt to fill-in for Beltre at the hot corner and join his Venezuelan WBC teammate, Elvis Andrus, on the left side of the infield.  Bunch of leftists!   What’s next, hiring the manager, Hugo Chavez?  2019 Projections:  61/20/65/.260/3 in 551 ABs

32. Ketel Marte – He’s a man in search of a platoon partner.  Don’t ever look at Ketel’s splits vs. righties last year, unless you’re looking to shudder.  2019 Projections:  73/13/45/.252/8 in 564 ABs

33. Jed Lowrie – Signed with the Mets because the Mets hate the idea of Peter Alonso, Jeff McNeil, Dominic Smith or anyone under the age of 30.  You can think the Mets changed their ways with a new GM, but the Mets are still Mets’ing.  You lose one Jay Bruce, you get back one more guy who is 34 and coming off a career year.  Unsurprisingly, Lowrie’s old agent is also the Mets’ new GM.  Robert Mueller is about to uncover collusion between the Mets and Russians.  UPDATE: He had a knee MRI and doesn’t sound optimistic for Opening Day, i.e., Jed hurt his knee and yelled, “Crude,” but wasn’t talking about oil.  2019 Projections: 54/16/62/.264 in 501 ABs

34. Wilmer Flores – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

35. Marwin Gonzalez – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

36. Zack Cozart – Expects to be ready for the spring, but is returning from shoulder surgery.  With Cozart, it should be spelled Surgeri. 2019 Projections:  52/16/58/.250/2 in 446 ABs

37. Josh Harrison – If Machado and Harper can’t get a deal, what hope does Harrison have?  Actually, great, if he claims some kind of tangential connection to either of them, so a team signs Harrison just to get closer to Bryce or Machado.  UPDATE:  Signed with the Tigers.  Or as they say in Michigan when someone lands there, “Let’s give him a hand!”  Then they point at their location on their hand.  Hand turkeys really confuse people in Michigan.  “Is that a map or a turkey?”  About as solid a landing place Harrison was going to find for at-bats, but he’s still not a good hitter.  2019 Projections: 68/14/44/.261/4 in 512 ABs

38. Chris Taylor – He seems like a decent bet for 18-22 HRs and 10-15 SBs, which gets the blood flowing in the nethers, but his Ks are skyrocketing and he might need a .360 BABIP to not hit .245, so that dulls my hormonal reaction.  UPDATE:  Lost the starting job to Kiké.   Hmm, that looks wrong.  He lost it to EH.  That’s not better.  EnHer?  Fine, Enrique Hernandez!  2019 Projections:  56/13/48/.241/7 in 304 ABs

39. Starlin Castro – I’m writing a stage play about Keston Huira waiting for at-bats when guys like Ben Zobrist and Starlin Castro will tally about 1,000+ combined at-bats, it’s called “Catsup at a Bris.”  Was hoping Jonah Hill could play the part of Castro, and Diego Luna as Zobrist.  A bit of reverse casting like Hamilton.  2019 Projections: 82/17/43/.264/5 in 607 ABs

40. Scooter Gennett – Went over Scooter in the video at the top of the post.  UPDATE: Went down in a heap and had to be carried off the field with a groin injury.  To add insult to injury, they carried him off on a cart as he screamed, “I want my Scooter!”  What an ugly scene it was.  I’m going to pat my brow and sigh thinking about it.  Scooter’s out for the next 8-12 weeks.  Hello, new Reds’ 2nd baseman, Derek Dietrich!  Until Nick Senzel is quote-unquote ready (in a few weeks).  2019 Projections: 42/14/41/.278/2 in 317 ABs

41. Jason Kipnis – The Indians have more holes in their lineup than the Mariners, prior to their sell off.  Kipnis is one such hole.  I will call him, Jason K-Swiss.  2019 Projections: 56/15/52/.233/5 in 515 ABs

42. Freddy Galvis – The Jays are in the top five for teams with a ton of at-bats going to people I don’t want to see get at-bats vs. people who should be getting at-bats.  Can’t the Jays promote the seeds of the 2007 All-Star Game?  2019 Projections: 63/12/58/.249/6 in 586 ABs

43. Ben Zobrist – The epitome of this tier.  It is mass hysteria that Maddon keeps giving Zobrist 450 at-bats.  2019 Projections: 62/10/41/.276/4 in 445 ABs

44. Lourdes Gurriel – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Frazier.  I call this tier, “Should’ve paid more attention to Daylight Savings.”  By this tier name I mean, I just need some of these guys to see daylight with everyday, full-time at-bats and I’ll be moving them up in the rankings.  If only I had put more away during Daylight Savings.  As for Lourdes, with the signing of Freddy Galvis, I have no idea what the Jays are doing anymore.  I thought Melvin Upton was bad, but the Blue Jays are giving the abbreviation BJ a bad name.  2019 Projections: 45/13/47/.272/2 in 341 ABs

45. Keston Huira – I already gave you my Keston Huira fantasy.  I wrote it while skipping a Blue Apron podcast ad.  2019 Projections:  30/8/24/.274/3 in 212 ABs

46. Austin Barnes – Went over him in the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball.

47. Brandon Lowe – Already gave you my Brandon Lowe fantasy.  It had sixteen typos, a new record for me!  One major typo was the projections I gave him.  At the time, he seemed to have a lot more daylight for playing time than it now appears.  Or apparently I was in the dark.  I’ve dropped Lowe’s projections after the Yandy Diaz and Avisail signings.  2019 Projections:  35/12/37/.264/2 in 265 ABs

48. Adam Frazier – It takes a certain kind of garbage time player for me to project him for 550+ at-bats and rank him this low.  Frazier is that garbage.  He’s like when you’re outside in the rain trying to sort recyclables and the entire can falls over and DON’T EVER OWN A HOUSE!  I’m seriously supposed to remember the difference between the green and blue cans?  I need a mnemonic!  2019 Projections: 61/12/41/.278/6 in 554 ABs

49. Luis Urias – Already gave you my Luis Urias fantasy.  It was written while selling Herbalife with my aunt Madeleine. 2019 Projections:  45/7/34/.279/5 in 232 ABs

50. Brandon Drury – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the list.  I call this tier, “Odds & Ends, or Jedds & Erik Gonzalezes.”  Unlike Devon Travis and Lourdes, I’m assuming Drury’s starting job will only last a few weeks until Vladimir Jr. emerguerroes.  2019 Projections: 31/7/37/.261/2 in 246 ABs

51. Kolten Wong – I originally had Wong in the tier above, but, in today’s climate, it’s risky advocating more daylight for a Wong.  I still believe in him if he had everyday at-bats.  Ever since the Cardinals began platooning him, his career seemed to derail.  You’d think Cardinals would know how to handle a Wong.  2019 Projections:  39/9/45/.255/6 in 302 ABs

52. Cory Spangenberg – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Brewers.  The Brewers are hilarious.  Here’s them last week, ‘Schoop was a terrible trade last year.  We should’ve just went with what we had.  Hernan Perez and Villar had done us well up until that point, and we got in our own heads–*spots shiny new thing*  Cory Spangenberg!  He seems like a great signing!’  So, Spangenberg becomes their strong side of the 2nd basemen platoon.” And that’s me quoting me!  2019 Projections:  41/12/45/.239/8 in 395 ABs

53. Ian Kinsler – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Padres.  Since Kinsler said he hates when Latino players celebrate excessively, or really show any emotion, this signing is perfect for him.  No one has ever been excited about being in San Diego, let alone playing for the Padres.  Kinsler, enjoy your subdued detachment, and may an eye blink be construed as excitement.  Until Fernando Tatis Jr. is ready, Ian Kinsler is a bridge loan for a team with a 300 FICO score.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2019 Projections:  61/15/41/.233/12 in 509 ABs

54. Hernan Perez –  He has 15-homer power and 25-steal speed, but he’s in a platoon with everyone on the roster and Keston Huira will be promoted at some point (hopefully), which is why Hernan is not ranked higher.  If he can sneak into 575+ ABs, he could be huge.  And if I were a millionaire, I wouldn’t ask my Cougar if she wants to watch Blood Diamond every time we’re in a jewelry store.  2019 Projections: 32/6/34/.262/16 in 307 ABs

55. Franklin Barreto – Doesn’t fit in this tier like a glove because he has upside vs. most of this tier which are not that interesting of commodities.  To quote a long-lost line from Janis Joplin, “Commodity is just another name for ‘C’mon-wit-yo-pity.'”  So, maybe next year I might be in on Barreto, but he does not look ready yet or have a jay-oh-bee.  2019 Projections:  24/8/21/.226/6 in 212 ABs

56. Joe Panik – Look at his splits vs. lefties last year.  Panik, indeed.  2019 Projections:  53/10/48/.262/5 in 434 ABs

57. Isiah Kiner-Falefa – Went over him in the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball.

58. Kaleb Cowart – The Mariners claimed him this offseason, because the Mariners have decided the best way to build a team is similar to the people who go to the baggage claim and just grab unclaimed bags.  “Hey, look a Kaleb Cowart and a plaid skirt I can wear as a shirt.”  2019 Projections:  31/7/41/.208/10 in 289 ABs

59. Devon Travis – Seriously, how many at-bats that should go to someone else are the Jays going to have this year?  There’s three guys in this post alone.  2019 Projections: 31/9/46/.255/2 in 208 ABs

60. Chris Owings – When he signed, I said, “Signed with the Royals.  His career numbers are 31 HRs, 70 SBs and .250, which is also everyone’s 2019 projections for Adalberto Mondesi.  Hopefully, Mondesi doesn’t need 1960 ABs like Owings did.  As for Owings, I like him in very deep leagues if he has a starting job, but he doesn’t yet.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2019 Projections:  31/5/36/.266/15 in 297 ABs

61. Ryan McMahon – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.

62. Steve Wilkerson – Member about 4,500 words ago when I was complaining about guys getting at-bats who shouldn’t be?  Wilkerson is getting at-bats but couldn’t even break into that tier.  2019 Projections: 61/12/51/.213/7 in 510 ABs

63. Chad Pinder – He’s in the worst situation possible for excelling against lefties.  You show the ability to hit lefties to Billy Beane and you’re never going to see a righty ever.  Even if you can hit them.  You played yourself, Pinder!  2019 Projections:  38/14/41/.261 in 303 ABs

64. Dustin Pedroia – Red Sox announced this offseason Pedroia wouldn’t need surgery.  He wasn’t injured when the Red Sox said that unprovoked, but they just assume people are wondering what surgery Pedroia is gonna have next.  Kinda like when your wife says, “Good morning,” and you say, “I didn’t use your favorite sweater to catch the water leak in the attic.”  2019 Projections:  41/6/43/.263/4 in 304 ABs

65. Jedd Gyorko – Goldy hurt Jose Martinez’s fantasy value and obliterated Gyorko’s.  At least Gyorko still has the fact his name isn’t Jack Madickov.  2019 Projections:  28/12/32/.257/2 in 288 ABs

66. Eduardo Nunez – After his Merely A Flesh Wound Guy imitation in the playoffs, I’d love to rank him higher, but his previously 40-steal speed now looks barely 10.  Worth farting in the general direction of Whit Merrifield here too.  2019 Projections: 38/5/31/.271/8 in 255 ABs

67. Yairo Munoz – For those just reading the names and not these blurbs, I hope you get “Nunez to Munoz, Nunez to Munoz” stuck in your head for the rest of the day.  As for Munoz (not Nunez), I see a Triple-A line of 7/10/.289 in only half a year and I think about how the Cardinals make superstars out of no one from nowhere and I see Munoz becoming a 1st ballot Hall of Famer, but he could hit seven homers and steal six bags in 275 ABs, so there’s that.  2019 Projections: 33/7/31/.281/6 in 275 ABs

68. Erik Gonzalez – He’ll be replacing Jordy Mercer on the Pirates, but he can’t fill those giant shoes.  Well, I guess since Jordy is short for Jordache, Gonzalez won’t be filling his pants either.  2019 Projections: 41/6/47/.244/4 in 404 ABs