I hope everyone’s Memorial Day was filled with hot dogs, hamburgers, fireworks that were meant to be saved until July 4th but were blown off yesterday so close to your ear that you still have a ringing, and all the other red-white-blue American things one hears backstage at a Larry The Cable Guy concert. My Memorial Day was filled with eating and burping and farting and wearing an American flag t-shirt, but that’s every Monday. Eat a D, ISIS! Yesterday, Gerrit Cole loved the troops more than most starters, posting a line of 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 4.02. Woke SpongeBob, “Yo, dem high-ranked starters are da bomb dot org.” Yo, WSB, you don’t sound so woke. “Go f–k yourself.” Wow, WSB, is lit! Cole’s peripherals: 14.1 K/9, 2.3 BB/9, 2.22 xFIP and is technically the number one starter in all of baseball if his luck was neutral. Don’t love trading for a top starter, but it’s hard to find a better buy low right now, due to his ERA. He could rattle off 120 innings of a sub-1 ERA. That’s Murica thru & thru. Not spelling shizz out is Murica too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Dustin Pedroia to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Arodys Vizcaino is out for the year. Backdate that to spring training when he was having arm issues. He needed to have his labrum fixed worse than an overworked gymnast. Filling in for him is the dumpster fire that is A.J. Minter. I’ve got a wild idea, hey, Braves, how about you sign Craig Kimbrel with the money you robbed from Albies? Here’s Albies agent before the signing, “Albies, sure you want to take this deal?” Albies replied, “Why are you asking, Al B. Sure?” Then they stared at each other for five minutes until Albies had enough and signed. The Braves’ bullpen is such a disarray of WUT, I don’t even know who their setup man is. I guess it’s the guy working the docks in The Wire, but it could be the guy whose name was Riddle, but, due to poor penmanship, became Biddle. A millennial just broke down my door and said, “It’s penpersonship.” My bad! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
What a great day. Let’s talk plays of the day, and let’s talk FanDuel lineup construction.
Today we have seven games on the main slate. 14 pitchers and 122 hitters to use to construct our lineups. We know we need to use more than one lineup. We know we need to diversify. But what is the optimal breakdown? What percent of lineups with each player?
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Opens an envelope, and, inside, is an invitation. “Wow, what gorgeous calligraphy. Someone took their calligraphy class at 8 PM every Wednesday for six weeks at a local college very seriously. Patrick Bateman would be jealous of that raised font.” Reading, “Please join us, the Tampa Bay Rays, for the Star Mitzvah of Austin Meadows. On Tuesday, the ninth of April, two thousand and nineteen at twenty-four minutes after two o’clock in the afternoon at Temple Fantasy Tova Those Other Outfielders. A reception to follow at one of the 37 local Hooter’s restaurants in the Tampa area. Rather than gifts, please bring Cash. Our manager, he gets lost.” How sweet is that. I wonder if I was invited because I wrote an Austin Meadows sleeper this preseason. Prolly. Sound the shofar, Meadows is finally breaking out! *remains super calm, then screams* I TOLD YOU! Yesterday, Austin Meadows went 4-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and a slam (3) and legs (2), hitting .308. Hopefully, this is the start of the big things I imagine for him, and, finally, he becomes a man. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
One super quick word about the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball and all the 2019 fantasy baseball rankings, each ranking appears insanely long and it is, but I imagine in a lot of leagues guys won’t have eligibility, because I’m using the extremely lax Yahoo position eligibility. Without further ado because this post is longer than the combined length of the Gutenberg Bible and Steve Guttenberg’s IMDB page, I mention where tiers start and stop and all projections are mine and cannot be reproduced without the express written consent of Major League–Damn, I’m being told by Major League Baseball I did not have express written consent to use their warning. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Has anyone started calling David Dahl (OF, Broken Foot) China Dahl yet? If not, let me be the first. ANOTHER major injury for China Dahl that will see him miss 6-8 weeks. Stash or Trash: Trash. He wasn’t getting consistent playing time and now two months on the shelf? You deserve better! Replacement: You know who will never let you down? Leonys Martin (17%.) Oh god, what did I even just type? Oh well, let’s commit to the bit. Martin actually has been downright ownable in 12 team mixed leagues. 34 runs, 7 HRs, 20 RBI — only two steals which is what we all wanted — really not bad. The athleticism was always there with Martin but he never seemed to be able to get out of his own way. Well he’s out of his own way now and hitting pretty well. Leonys more than anyone else on the planet has committed to the launch angle revolution — he’s hitting a staggering 51% of balls in the air. I don’t know how sustainable that is with only a 16% line drive rate — but we’re not going to find gold on the waiver wire — only pyrite.Please, blog, may I have some more?
From Fozzie Bear’s Big Book Of Side-Splitting Jokes (Please Laugh), “Why couldn’t you hear the guy who didn’t draft Michael Wacha? He was Mike-less. Wacha Wacha Wacha.” “Did you see him pitch yesterday? He was reWachable, knocking down Pirates like he was playing Wacha-Mole. Wacha Wacha Wacha.” “What do you get when you don’t listen to Grey’s preseason advice to draft Michael Wacha? An unbearable fantasy baseball ‘pert giving I told you so’s. Wacha Wacha Wacha.” Yesterday, Michael Wacha took a no-hitter into the 8th inning, ending up with the line 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 8 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.41. At one point in the 8th inning, he hit 97 MPH on the radar gun, which was the point when I licked my finger and touched the screen to listen for a sizzle. Since I didn’t hear the sizzle, I tried the same with an electrical socket to make sure I was alive and not a ghost. Turns out I’m alive, but with smoke coming out my ears. Speaking of smoke coming out of one’s ears (taking that segue right off a cliff!), Blake Snell threw about as gemmy of a gem as you’re gonna find for someone gemming up the works — 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners (0 walks), 12 Ks, ERA at 2.36. Of course, Snell was yet another one of my preseason sleepers, but if only we had one more of my preseason sleepers that did well on Sunday to satisfy my Rule of Three craving. Someone who was on no one’s radar for a reason I couldn’t quite understand. Someone who hit three homers yesterday and has 13 homers on the year. Wait, that did happen! Eddie Rosario (3-for-5, 4 RBIs) went Bazooka Jack times three yesterday to seal one of the greatest days in the history of my life. Sorry, wedding day, you’re moving down the list! If you wanna bask in my glory: here’s the Michael Wacha sleeper you ignored, the Blake Snell sleeper you missed and the Eddie Rosario sleeper you didn’t believe. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the spring of 2018, the Catholic Church summoned Father Carmen Sandiego to the Vatican to give him the job to investigate miracles, supernatural signs and apparitions. Unfortunately, Father Carmen Sandiego, who wasn’t very good with his GPS, got lost for four days in the Steven Avery car lot in Wisconsin, then ended up in Milwaukee. When he wandered into the parking lot of Miller Park, and Brewers fans tailgating with MGD and cheese curds, everywhere Father Carmen Sandiego turned he heard about the resurrected Jesus Aguilar, so he chose to investigate. He found a player who had lowered his strikeout rate 8% from last year, upped his walk rate, cut his soft contact and could be a sneaky 25-homer, .275 guy. Jesus didn’t appear to him in a vision, he was flesh and blood, like the Lenny & Squiggy cosplayers he also encountered. However, Father Carmen Sandiego didn’t report back to the Vatican, instead he grabbed Jesus for his fantasy team. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s see, if Tyler O’Neill is Kelly Leak, then Coach Walter Matheny is curmudgeonly happy. “Lean into the pitch, Whomever is the Cards catcher while Molina and Kelly are out!” If in this reboot T. O’Neill is playing Kelly, who’s playing the girl’s role on the Cards? Hmm, only one it could be is Tommy Herr. Come out of retirement! By the by, this movie? Doesn’t hold up at all. Don’t ever watch it again. Remember what you can and move on. Any hoo! Tyler O’Neill (2-for-4, 4 RBIs, hitting .368) hit yet another homer — his third in three games — and he’s capable of hitting 30 homers. Not over the whole year, like if we’re backtracking, I mean from today forward. Not sure if the Cards play him, sometimes Walter Matheny appears drunk, but I would grab O’Neill for power. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday’s Cubs/Braves matinee was Jose Quintana (4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.23) vs. Julio Teheran (6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 3.49). This start was billed as, “Was The Wind Blowing Out Or Do These Guys Suck?” A very quizzical billing. I don’t own Quintana, but I hear your calls to place a flag on a sound stage in Hollywood and say it’s the moon and continue to own Quintana or if it’s cheese. Guys (and five girls), things aren’t good — Ks are way down; walks are way up; velocity is down; this is the worst he’s looked in the majors. Now, the good news, it’s relatively good, at least. He had a 5.60 ERA last through the end of May last year, and a 3.41 ERA in the last 124 IP last year. He also upped his Ks last June thru September and, until we see different, I think he could take the same route to success this year. Or not (nice hedge, dopey!), but I’d hold to see. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?