Hello, darkness, my old friend.  But replace ‘darkness’ with ‘catchers’ and ‘my old friend’ with ‘we have to get through this to get further into our 2019 fantasy baseball rankings.’  Hmm…Then replace ‘our 2019 fantasy baseball rankings’ with ‘my 2019 fantasy baseball rankings,’ then replace ‘with’ with ‘wit’ to millennialify it, then replace every third ‘replace’ with ‘in place of’ to diversify word choice because my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. Pinatauro, said we shouldn’t repeat words–Actually, she can eat it!  After going over the top 10 for 2019 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2019 fantasy baseball (clickbait!), we are now in the positional rankings, and all 2019 fantasy baseball rankings can be found there.  Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers.  The projections noted in the post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop.  I also mention a bunch of hullabaloo, so let’s get to it.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball:

1. J.T. Realmuto – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Contreras.  I call this tier, “The cream of the crap.”  The tier name is pretty straightforward.  Catchers are crap, but this is the best of them, so the cream of the crap.  As for Realmuto, this offseason Jerry Tomato Realmuto’s agent said, “I think J.T. will definitely be wearing a different uniform by the start of spring training.”  I see what he did there, because the Marlins got new unis.  Very sneaky!  I haven’t been fooled that badly since, “The mother is the surgeon!”  Apparently, Realmuto’s agent meant it more in that he would be traded.  Fair enough.  Still waiting on that.  Since Realmuto is the name of the Spanish company that does “Closed captioning,” allow me to read between the lines, the Marlins are in the 2nd year of a 47-season rebuild effort.  Got it.  By the time the Marlins are done rebuilding, Jeter will be dating girls in their thirties.  I know, he’s married, but don’t get mad at me, he’s the one still dating 18-year-olds.  Realmuto is easily in the top three for best catchers in the majors, but he only hit 21 homers, stole three bags and hit .271 last year, so I will now vomit into my mouth, swish it around then spit it on the ground so it reads, “Catchers are gross.”  Damn, my vomit knows more than some fantasy baseball ‘perts.  Also, I go over him in the video at the top of the page.  UPDATE: Jerry Tomato Realmuto goes from the lineup of the 2016 Mets — the RemnanMets? — to one of five teams trying to win a World Series this year.  *chef’s kiss*  That-a doesn’t hurt-a, as a stereotypical Italian would say.  That doesn’t change my outlook for Realmuto in any way, however.  I gave Realmuto the stat line of 86/18/69/.271/5 in 512 ABs with the foreknowledge that he would be traded.  Put away the kindling and stake.  There’s no reason to burn me for being a witch.  Everyone knew Realmuto was going to be traded.  The Marlins said as much for the last three months.  The only surprising thing is the Phils were the team to get him.  He will now sit somewhere in the top three spots in the lineup, assuming Gabe Kapler doesn’t do a burpee and hit Realmuto at the bottom of the order.  Realmuto is still a catcher, and not one I’m messing with, and don’t end a sentence with with — dah!  2019 Projections:  86/18/69/.271/5 in 512 ABs

2. Gary Sanchez – I considered making Sanchez and Contreras a different tier from Realmuto, but it’s semantics since I’m not drafting any of them.  Yes, I punt top catchers.  Position scarcity is a lie some old school ‘perts told you.  It is a bigger myth than everything your friends from high school post on Facebook.  Sorry to be a mythbuster.  Also, another myth, is that the girl from Mythbusters is attractive.  That one from American Pickers is sexy though.  What was I saying?!  Oh, yes, catchers.  Punt them like you are Reggie Roby.  Position scarcity sounds good in theory, but I don’t have a category in my leagues called ‘In Theory,’ so bleh.  The reason why I’m ranking Sanchez so high after his last season, even though it doesn’t matter, he’s still one of the few catchers capable of a 30+ homer season.  Hopefully, his nut allergy to foul tips doesn’t flare up.  2019 Projections:  77/28/88/.239/2 in 503 ABs

3. Willson Contreras – He had his biggest year in the majors last year.  If we were only counting at-bats.  Contreras had more ABs than Pablo Sandoval, which is a feat in itself.  Sandoval sits on the toilet sometimes and counts his abs for hours.  “Was I on 274 or 275?  Aw, geez, I gotta start again!”  That’s Pablo Sandoval counting rolls from the nipples down.  It was such a bad year for catchers that I briefly considered saying there was a buying opportunity for catchers this year, then I came to me senses and realized the best case scenario from, say, Contreras is still worse than, say, David Peralta, to throw out a super random name.  2019 Projections:  63/20/74/.271/3 in 496 ABs

4. Salvador Perez – He’s totally fine, don’t have any real problems with him, but as MC HAMMER explicitly states, “U can’t touch this.”  UPDATE:  Sounds headed for Tommy John surgery.  Do not draft Sal P., unless you are in a Do The Right Thing Character fantasy league, and, even then, I’d go Sal Romano first.  2019 Projections:  58/23/77/.246 in 523 ABs

5. Yasmani Grandal – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Ramos.  I call this tier, “Fruit of the poisonous tree.”  Catchers are tainted as a position, so this tier is tainted because they are catchers.  That’s according to Marcia Clark’s How Attorneys May Motion or Express References or as it’s known in the law community, MC HAMMER.  As for Grandal, signed with the Brewers this offseason.  One interesting thing about this tier, besides the fact that you know exactly what you’re getting from all of them, Grandal usually goes after Ramos in drafts, and sometimes even deeper in the sea of catchers, when Grandal is much more predictable, and, if I had to guess at one catcher from this tier to make a run at the number one catcher in fantasy, I’d choose Yasmani.  He could easily hit 30 HRs, and luck into a .260+ average, which is all one needs to be the number one…Sorry, I fell asleep.  Damn, catchers, you are the last legal sleep opioid.  2019 Projections:  62/25/70/.246/1 in 427 ABs

6. Yadier Molina – His home runs over the last eight years:  14, 22, 12, 7, 4, 8, 18, 20.  Hopefully, he doesn’t circle back to the smaller numbers again.  Molina’s power is as predictive as Al Gore’s weight compared to how much meat Al eats.  “I’m now going vegan!”  *five months later*  “And now I weigh an extra 75 pounds!”  2019 Projections:  61/18/70/.258/3 in 471 ABs

7. Wilson Ramos – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Mets.  Look at the Mets making smart moves.  This is such a better move than that whole Thor and our entire farm system for Realmuto.  Mets are my new favorite team!  Kidding, I’m not trying to get my heart broken.  Solid deal for Ramos, a legit top catcher for fantasy, who comes at a more discounted rate than the top top catchers.  Still wouldn’t draft him unless he fell past the 200 overall spot, but he’s good.  Even better, the Mets never have to mess with d’Arnaud again.  *sees d’Arnaud’s stats*  He hit one homer last year, but it was only in four games, so he was on pace for 41 homers.  Damn, they didn’t need Ramos at all!”  And that’s me quoting me! 2019 Projections:  54/17/71/.274 in 454 ABs

8. Jorge Alfaro – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Kelly.  I call this tier, “Reggie Roby is dead.”  In 2005, we lost one of the greatest punters in history.  With one foot on the ground, he kept reaching for the stars, like a ballerina Casey Kasem, and now Mr. Roby’s hang time is 14 years and counting.  RIP, which stands for Reggie Is Punts.  Sadly, he’s dead and so is our punting strategy.  We’re now drafting some schmohawk catcher.  Just one word about the big picture.  This is somewhere around 220 overall in my rankings.  I’m going flyer heavy this year on my 1st catcher.  Posey, McCann, Gomes might be safer, but safer is not how I want to draft catchers this year in a one-catcher league (will get to two catcher leagues in a few).  Safe catchers get you 18 HRs and .240 or 10 HRs and .280, I got a whoopie-dee-doo around here somewhere for you.  As for Alfaro, he hits bombs and way too many ground balls.  He’s a heat-seeking missile.  He’s a beast of muscles and skin and bones and–Okay, I was just reading from the human anatomy page on Wikipedia, but Alfaro does not appear to be a struggle-to-hit-15-homers type.  More like a perennial 20-homer catcher who might hit .215.  Yeah, that’s the pecca in the dillo, as no one says.  For guys with at least 200 batted balls, he was 4th for average homer with 420 feet.  Of course, Chris Iannetta was number one with 421 feet.  “What does it all mean?!”  It means I’m drafting now.  Also, I go over Alfaro in the video at top of the post.  UPDATE:  Went the other way in the Realmuto trade.  I love this move for Alfaro’s fantasy value, let me just say that right now, as I talk like Gordon Ramsey.  As I mentioned in the video and initial blurb, Jorge hits the ball Al-FAR-o.  Get it?!  Goddamn you people, why don’t you get my puns!  You do get it?  Oh, then my bad about yelling.  Alfaro averaged 420 feet on his home runs, so I don’t think the Stadium That A Unicorn Puked Up in Miami is going to hurt him at all.  In fact (Grey’s got more!), it could help him because who else are the Mehlins hitting in a prime spot in the lineup?  Brian Anderson?  He’s about as exciting as his Wonder Bread name.  I didn’t change my Alfaro projections, but, if I were, I’d make them more optimistic.  Honestly, guys and five girl readers, the one thing I really want from my catcher is at-bats, and Alfaro is about to get him some.  2019 Projections:  51/17/61/.248/3 in 414 ABs

9. Welington Castillo – Where’s the boeuf?!  Currently, batting fifth for a White Sox team that is getting better by the day.  Especially if that day is June 1st.  Or May 1st.  Or April 15th.  Where’s my boy Eloy?  This tier is filled with fresh-faced young up-and-comers, which is a phrase you should never Google at work, but I like Boeuf Welington so much I had to slot him into this tier.  Plus, he could hit 20 HRs with a good average.  Let’s get dat bread!  To go with the boeuf, ya know.  2019 Projections: 53/18/60/.253 in 418 ABs

10. Carson Kelly – Here’s what I said when he was traded, “The catching prospect who was blocked by Yadier heads to the Diamondbacks, where the most knowledgable fans in baseball can exclaim, ‘We got the host of The Voice?!  Oh em gee, I need another jello shot, go ASU!’  If the Diamondbacks traded for Carson just so they could trade for Eugenio for the magical tandem of Carsenio, then I take back everything bad I’ve said about the Diamondbacks.  Now let’s bang that gong and shake our groove thing!  Kelly should be Arizona’s starting catcher, and he has a career line of zero homers while hitting .154 in 63 games, so, um, lowercase yay.  Nah, he’s actually not a total bust yet.  He hasn’t had a chance, and could get into 15 HRs and can take a walk, so, basically, he could be a top ten catcher.  I’m buying as a flyer.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2019 Projections:  52/14/59/.249 in 487 ABs

11. Buster Posey – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Gomes.  I call this tier, “Is everything one word or two?”  By the tier name I mean, you are scared of everything.  You’re even scared of making a typo with the word ‘everything.’  I get it; I get scared too — like when someone calls me vs. texting.  But you’re drafting scared if you draft one of these catchers.  As for Posey, here’s what I said about him last year, “It’s likely blasphemy how low I’ve ranked Posey.  Or at least to the Cal bears in San Fran, and I’m not talking Berkeley alumni.  However, if the trends equal the ends, he’s going to be a present-day Joe Mauer at catcher.  A fan favorite who inspires women to wear bulky sweaters to games and barely hits ten homers with a decent average.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Last year, he hit 5 homers.  Yo, Joe Mauer called and said, “I have my attorney on the line with me and you’re infringing on my trademark.”  To take the Mauer comparison further, I could see the Giants saying this March that Posey will see lots of games at 1st base, which will ramp up enthusiasm in the fantasy community, because he’ll have that magical catcher eligibility while not catching.  This literally never works out the way you think.  Yes, literally.  2019 Projections: 60/10/64/.288/4 in 491 ABs

12. Brian McCann – Here’s what I said this offseason for McCann, “Signed with the Braves.  He will platoon with Flowers, so swallowing everything off the plate will lead to the fresh scent of Flowers ‘n McCann.  It’s better than blaming it on the dog.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2019 Projections:  42/16/49/.238 in 312 ABs

13. Yan Gomes – Here’s what I said this offseason for Gomes, “Traded to the Nats to split time with the newly-acquired Suzuki.  The Nats are shoring up their catching corps this year, which you can take to mean a crew of guys ready to go to war for the Nats, or take it to mean, I misspelled ‘corpse’ and that’s what they’ll be for the Nats’ WAR.”  And that’s me copying and pasting me!  2019 Projections:  41/15/42/.241 in 337 ABs

14. Danny Jansen – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Narvaez.  I call this tier, “Perspective.”  Everything is about perspective.  One man’s “Thanks for hearing me out” is another man’s “Just finish talking so I don’t have to hear you anymore.”  See, perspective.  My perspective here is I’m taking a flyer crazy late on this guys in deep leagues if my perspective for a fantasy team is I want some risk.  If I’m crazy late and I don’t want risk, I’m likely skipping this tier for a guy in the next tier.  As for Jansen, there might not be anything here, but he hit 15 homers between Triple-A and the majors in about 380 ABs, and the Jays have moved on from Russell Martin, and only about 4 years too late!  2019 Projections:  42/14/46/.261/2 in 427 ABs

15. Francisco Mejia – Already gave you my Francisco Mejia fantasy.  I wrote it during a ketchup fight with Jan.  2019 Projections:  28/12/36/.268/1 in 305 ABs

16. Chris Iannetta – As mentioned in the Alfaro blurb, Iannetta averaged the furtherest on home runs last year, which is a strong case to never mention distance on home runs ever.  To answer a general question about projections vs. rankings.  Occasionally, you’ll see something like 12 HRs, .250 vs. 12 HRs, .240 and the .240 guy will be above the .250 one.  This is because of upside, health, chance he actually gets at-bats and a whole array of other things.  All 12-homer hitters are not made the same.  Though, many are made in the image of Darrell Porter.  So, why Iannetta over Narvaez because Coors vs. T-Mobile Park adds potential.  (T-Mobile Park is formerly known as Safeco.  I will confuse the two multiple times this year.  By the way, have you seen T-Mobile Park?  It’s lit with pink lighting like Bill Hall designed the park to always look like Mother’s Day.)  2019 Projections:  40/13/43/.231 in 344 ABs

17. Omar Narvaez – Here’s what I said this offseason for Nervous Narvaez, “Traded to the Mariners, because they needed a three-hole hitter. Gotta suck to be a Mariners fan right now. They won 89 games last year, but rather than try to win an extra 6-10 games this year to get into the playoffs, they are blowing up shizz.  Will be fun when the Mariners have suitcases of money that are owed to different players take the field on Opening Day.  ‘Skip, I’ve never seen this before, but it looks like the Mariners are starting a suitcase of $60 million at 1st base.'”  And that’s me quoting me quoting the Mariners’ manager!  For what it’s Werth, the Mariners made a few moves after that Narvaez trade, so they’re not quite as bad as they were then.  41/14/46/.266 in 387 ABs

18. Robinson Chirinos – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Greiner.  I call this tier, “You in a two-catcher league?  Okay, then have at it.”  The tier name is pretty self-explanatory.  I would’ve drafted a first catcher by now in a mixed league.  If you’re in a two-catcher league, draft another guy in this tier.  As for Uh-Oh Chirinos, here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Astros.  You know why this move was necessary?  The Astros had to fill-in McCann.  Hehe.  Damn it, that never gets old (for me)!  If the Astros have a type at catcher, I’d say Uh-oh Chirinos is exactly it.  Won’t play more than 115 games, will hit a decent amount of homers and not much on average.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2019 Projections:  44/20/68/.213/1 in 384 ABs

19. Mike Zunino – Here’s what I said after he was traded to the Rays, “Saw a lot of people upset with the M’s over this move. If the M’s turn around and trade away Mallex immediately, then obviously everything I’m about to say is cockeyed through a hindsight lens, but Zunino for Mallex is bad? I get it, in real baseball you have to have a catcher, but Zunino is so replaceable and Mallex is on the come.  I don’t know nothing about nothing (which is why you’re here), but I’d want Mallex too.  Get a Maldonado-type if you need a catcher.”  And that’s me being the first person to ever criticize the Rays!  2019 Projections: 47/22/58/.213 in 417 ABs

20. Francisco Cervelli – It’s so classic that the Pirates are currently lining up Cervelli as their cleanup hitter.  Baseball has parity, but parity is spelled Parroty and it’s the name of Manfred’s pet bird. “Parroty wants a cracker.”  2019 Projections: 47/11/59/.253/3 in 402 ABs

21. Christian Vazquez –  There should be some kind of reward for a guy who is miserably bad who is able to stay in a good team’s lineup.   The Cilantro in Guac Award?  2019 Projections: 41/6/44/.263/7 in 377 ABs

22. Tucker Barnhart – Love to see his backup, the Psycho Killer Curt Casali, move in front of him, but that seems unlikely.  Damn, that *ucker Barnhart!  2019 Projections: 50/13/58/.254/2 in 455 ABs

23. Josh Phegley – The baseball equivalent of fugly is Phegley. 2019 Projections:  42/13/44/.233/1 in 411 ABs

24. Grayson Greiner –  Remember when a runner steals on Grayson, I was the first to ask, “When is Grayson addressing the robbin’?”  2019 Projections:  43/14/47/.241 in 412 ABs

25. Russell Martin – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Diaz.  I call this tier, “Hedges and hedges.”  This tier is filled with guys who are either on the bad side of a platoon or are on the strong side with a stronger guy behind them.  As for Martin, he was traded to the Dodgers this offseason.  I could see Dave Roberts giving Martin 400+ ABs, and those being the 400 worst at-bats anyone has seen since man learned how to use his eyes.  2019 Projections: 36/15/44/.209 in 387 ABs

26. Austin Hedges – He is currently the Padres’ starting backstop, but let’s not hold that against him.  Hold against him that Mejia is just much better, and Hedges should lose the job.  So, “Grab the benches *coughs* Hedges,” which, if said with a raspy voice, sounds like my dead grandmother.  2019 Projections: 34/12/35/.228/2 in 289 ABs

27. Austin Barnes – He is the league’s best backup catcher, which would be the league’s 58th best 2nd baseman.  2019 Projections: 33/7/31/.246/7 in 303 ABs

28. John Hicks –  Wouldn’t be shocked to see Hicks usurp Grayson Greiner for the starting catcher job in Detroit.  By the way, usurp is different than my straw company I’m trying to get off the ground, U-Slurp.  It’s a straw with multiple tiny holes in the sides so your drink goes everywhere and you need to slurp loudly.  2019 Projections: 39/10/42/.253 in 323 ABs

29. Tyler Flowers – I fell for Flowers last year on the back-end of the Suzuki platoon, and it was as pleasant as being in a platoon on the back-end of a Suzuki.  2019 Projections:  35/10/38/.231 in 308 ABs

30. Kurt Suzuki – Here’s what I said this offseason for Suzuki, “Signed with the Nats.  Hey, if you can’t have Bryce Harper why not sign the next best free agent?  Ronald Acuña Jr. was recently cited as not having any idea who Mickey Mantle.  I’m gonna say Juan Soto’s in the same boat.  Imagine Juan Soto’s confusion when asked about Suzuki.  There should be a Sporcle about what Acuña and Juan Soto know.  That would be awesome.”  And that’s me Kurt’ing disaster!  2019 Projections:  32/9/38/.262 in 267 ABs

31. Victor Caratini – This is like a hedge bet in Craps on the coming out roll of Contreras.  Throw a seven or Yo and Contreras scores big-time, throw snake eyes and it’s, “Crap, I’m actually going to see if Caratini can hit less than five homers in 400 at-bats.”  2019 Projections: 29/7/36/.269/1 in 286 ABs

32. Mitch Garver – The three-headed monster the Twins have at catcher is Garver, Astudillo and Castro.  Otherwise known as Mitch Willians, Off Brand Catsup.  2019 Projections: 31/9/40/.259 in 321 ABs

33. Willians Astudillo – The Willians part of Mitch Willians, Off Brand Catsup.  I also go over Astudillo in the video at the top of the post.  2019 Projections: 26/9/30/.278/3 in 271 ABs

34. Chance Sisco – ‘Member the movie Sliding Doors?  I never saw it either, but you remember it, right?  Okay, well, imagine a number one catcher were to make his train and live his best number one catcher life, accruing stats and all the money that came with it.  The guy who misses the train drinks bum wine and is known as Chance Sisco.  Oddly enough, his platoon-mate, Austin Wynns, sounds like the guy who made the train, but is not a number one catcher either, so this analogy collapses on itself.  2019 Projections:  33/8/38/.240/1 in 324 ABs

35. Aramis Garcia – In crazy small sample sizes he looks good.  Which sounds like ex-girlfriends describing me.  2019 Projections:  24/9/31/.212 in 224 ABs

36. Tom Murphy – This guy is like the opposite of Christian Vazquez.  Murphy is someone who should be in the lineup, who can’t catch a break, pun noted, and intended.  So, if Christian Vazquez won the Cilantro Award, that means Tom Murphy wins the award for best player who never got a chance to play.  Congratulations, Tom Murphy, on the Josh Gibson Award! UPDATE: Released by the Rockies, so he lost all his value, then, when you thought it couldn’t get worse, he was claimed by the Giants   2019 Projections:  21/9/32/.248/2 in 212 ABs

37. Blake Swihart – Boston’s Josh Gibson, which just seems so ridiculous in such a non-racist city like Boston.  2019 Projections: 27/4/20/.252/7 in 221 ABs

38. Kevin Plawecki – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Traded to the Indians.  He has 14 homers in 703 career at-bats, which doesn’t sound great, but if the Indians get into an extra-inning game that goes until around the 1,000th inning, and Plawecki stays in the game for 250 extra at-bats, I could see Plawecki easily topping his career high of seven homers in a season.  Scarily enough, Plawecki is the more offensive of the Indians two catchers (Roberto Perez is other).”  And that’s me copying and pasting me!  2019 Projections:  37/9/45/.244 in 362 ABs

39. Elias Diaz – Stuck behind Cervelli on the Pirates’ depth chart, which would usually automatically eliminate someone if it meant Cervelli was actually better than the backup, but Diaz hit 10 homers in only 82 games.  Maybe there’s something here.  Plus, this is very late, so la-di-poo.  2019 Projections:  25/9/30/.274/1 in 275 ABs

40. Jonathan Lucroy – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the list.  I call this tier, “*motioning to your chin*”  By the tier name, I mean you fell asleep during your draft and you have drool on your chin, and you also slept through the time you were supposed to draft a catcher.  As for Lucroy, here’s what I said when he signed, “Lucroy manages to stay in the league because he’s a team player.  Which is to say he’s a player and he’s on a team.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2019 Projections:  38/5/41/.232/1 in 423 ABs

41. Martin Maldonado – It took 45 minutes for me to try to guess the Royals’ new catcher for 2019.  Finally, I guessed Drew Butera, but the Olympic strongman is on the Phils.  Three days later, I woke in a sweat and screamed, “Cam Gallagher!”  But, alas, that was a nightmare even to the Royals and they went out and signed Martin Maldonado.  That’s Candy’s son who was conceived during The Golden Girls episode that Martin Mull guest starred in.  Maldonado for fantasy?  How about Maldon-no-no? 2019 Projections:  38/7/43/.213/1 in 386 ABs

42. Isiah Kiner-Falefa – …And, boys and girls, that’s the story about when Ralph Kiner impregnated a falafel sandwich.  The Pita King is good if you’re trying to play Scrabble with the letters in a guy’s position eligibility.   2019 Projections: 37/5/32/.265/7 in 391 ABs

43. James McCann – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(McCann) signed a deal with the White Sox to back up Welington Castillo, i.e., where’s the boeuf?  In front of McCann!  That will never get old (for me).  That’s a mighty rich backup for a team that lost 100 games last year.  MLB is so goofy right now.  Teams that were on the brink of the playoffs (D-Backs, M’s) tore down everything and teams struggling to compete (Rays, White Sox) are going for it.  And, yes, I know the Rays won 90 games last year, but they also have the Yankees and Red Sox in front of them.  Any hoo!  McCann is a backup of an oft-injured catcher, so he might see 375 ABs (or 175).”  And that’s me–well, you know.  2019 Projections: 21/6/31/.231 in 264 ABs

44. Manny Pina – A flyer down on Manny Pina’s sounds a bit like Trevor Bauer operating a drone at a Sandal’s Resort, but he also feels on the verge of doing something with his bat if he ever sees playing time.  Pray for an injury to Yasmani.  Unless, of course, you own Yasmani.  2019 Projections: 26/7/27/.254/3 in 208 ABs

45. Jason Castro – Off brand Catsup.  2019 Projections:  38/7/41/.215/2 in 381 ABs

46. Sandy Leon – The Tony Wolters of Boston.  Call him, Hurrican’t Sandy.  2019 Projections: 31/6/28/.217/1 in 256 ABs

47. Tony Wolters – The Sandy Leon of the Rockies.  Call him, The Displeasure of the Sandy Leon.  2019 Projections: 28/4/24/.231/2 in 234 ABs

134 Comments
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Erric
Erric
3 years ago

Dipped my toe into 2019 fantasy baseball while shovelling snow listening to the catcher podcast!

Justin
Justin
3 years ago

Ralph Kiner comment almost made me wake my wife

JoeBobsayscheckitout
JoeBobsayscheckitout
3 years ago

Thanks for the rankings so far…
Asked this the other day but posted later in evening…

Do you keep Harper at 43? in NL only auction ten team league keep up to 15 players. Competitive. Lots of players kept. With inflation he’s prob a little under what he’d go for at auction. If I keep will drive up the top players…

Have Acuna at 5, Rendon at 29, may keep Rizzo at 35–thinking just driving prices up and keeping Harper…gives me a real solid hitting base in NL only league…

Have Arenado at 46 too.

Or toss him back and have the flexibility at auction? Your take is appreciated!

Gerk
Gerk
3 years ago

Ha, nice Bill Hall reference. Bill (clap-clap, clap clap) Hall! (clap-clap, clap clap)

Jensen
Jensen
3 years ago

This is the worst day of the entire year. Rankings have started, the fantasy baseball hype machine is waking up, I set my alarm for 4am to read the new position rankings, and then I log on to realize that today isn’t 1B rankings, its this hot gar-barge of worthless trash!!! (aka catchers) I almost cried. I don’t know how you rank these fools without smashing your face into a wall repeatedly, but thanks for suffering through. Now lets get on to the real players! I need a serious bounce back tomorrow! I know you won’t let me down.

Scott ( not William or Thomas or Timothy)
Scott ( not William or Thomas or Timothy)
3 years ago

Grey: enjoy reading your articles

Nothing to ask or add. Just writing because I know hiding below that goyisha name is something like Seth Rosenstein or Howard Silverman. Don’t get this wrong. I too am part of the tribe and I laugh when I read your Yiddish or Jewish humor. Stand proud – confess that you are Andrew or Zachary or even Avi. At the least keep adding your heritage humor. Some of us understand and appreciate it.

Also, you do a great job.

Harley Earl
Harley Earl
3 years ago

Greymeister,

I’m disappointed in your ranking of Austudillo. Not because I think you’re wrong but because I have him rostered.

I play in a 14-team dynasty league, 30-man rosters, 5 NA players and 5 DL spots. At anytime as many as 560 players can be rostered. Knowing those numbers, should I just let Austudillo go? Or would you hold him for a couple months to see what happens? My other catcher is Alfaro.

Thanks! Great stuff, as usual!

Harley Earl
Harley Earl
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Thanks. Yeah, I hate to let him go until something happens with him. Seems like some high-upside potential there.

I am the Walrus
I am the Walrus
3 years ago

I’m looking for cheap steals. Do you think the Mets off-season moves hurts Rosario’s AB’s and drops him to maybe 8 Hrs/ 15 SB’s?

ERad
ERad
3 years ago

You dive into True Detective S3 yet?

Basically a return to season 1 formula, so that’s a plus

And Ali is a fantastic actor

Fat Toad
Fat Toad
3 years ago

I discovered Razzball in 2010, and consume every word on Grey’s rankings.

I made it through Posey and gave up on the article, haha.

By no means a dig at Grey, more commentary to just how boring this position is for 2019.

I’ve never realized how much I needed to hear about Hosmer, Bour, and Josh Bell in my life.

Keep up the awesome work, I might call in sick for Top 20 Starter day.

The Curly W's
The Curly W's
3 years ago

I’m jazzed about Carson Kelly. As high as you are on him I think you’re low on him!

Sweatpants Nation
Sweatpants Nation
3 years ago

Just noticed the latest storm tracking across the coumtry is being called Harper. Will it go through Chicago’s southside, gain intensity as it moves through Philly and NY, and ultimately settle in DC with record breaking numbers?

LenFuego
LenFuego
3 years ago

I sure hope the McCann twins never lose their jobs – not sure I could survive a top 20 catcher post without the requisite three (3!) McCann “fill in my can” jokes. Or maybe they have some teenage sons who are prospective fill-in McCann catching prospects?

Trophy Chaser
Trophy Chaser
3 years ago

Standard category forever keeper. 10 teams. Would you trade CSeager and CMart for Buehler and Dahl. I already have Treat Urner as a keeper. Thanks

Squat Cobblers
Squat Cobblers
3 years ago

Great stuff Grey (joy!)

If I had a shred of entrepreneurial spirit, I’d Zuckerberg ‘Flowers-N-McCann’ along with the tagline: It’s Better Than Blaming It On The Dog…
Then, if this were 1999, I’d take the company public as ‘Flowers-N-McCannDOTCOM’…but since it’s 2019, we will go public as ‘Flowers-N-McCannibus’!!!

Finally, as a historical side note, if this were the year 1636, the company would be called
‘Tulips-On-McCann’

Squat Cobblers
Squat Cobblers
Reply to  Squat Cobblers
3 years ago

@Squat Cobblers: Or Tulips-N-McCann…ewww

LenFuego
LenFuego
Reply to  Squat Cobblers
3 years ago

@Squat Cobblers: in mid-20th century China the company would have been Mao Tse Tung ‘n’ McCann.

Squat Cobblers
Squat Cobblers
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Not sure. But, I’m the same way with Phil McCracken and Phil McCrevice

Reagan
Reagan
3 years ago

Grey I have Franmil and looking to move for a SP what range of guys should I be looking for? Can you toss me a few names for some help please ? Thanks ML

OldMilwaukeePounders
OldMilwaukeePounders
3 years ago

Grey,

I’m not sure why, but I always enjoy reading your catcher rankings most. It is probably because your distaste for even having to draft catchers is so thick that you can drizzle it over waffles.

Keeper question for you, some of the keepers are obvious, but I am having a tough time with how to round my group out. 12 team, h2h, 5×5, can keep up to 5. Who are your 5 from this group:

Mookie
Trea
Acuna Jr
Rizzo
Springer
Mondesi
Bellinger
Andujar
Robles
Dan Murphy

Players can be kept forever with no contract stipulations to worry about.

Thanks, Homie!

OldMilwaukeePounders
OldMilwaukeePounders
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Thanks, Grey. My final keeper was down to a choice between Rizzo or Bellinger for 1b. Only reason I was considering Bellinger was that his HR potential is likely greater. Rizzo is about the most predictable guy out there though.

Does that seem like a reasonable final 2 for that last spot?

OldMilwaukeePounders
OldMilwaukeePounders
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Dope. Gonna see if I can get picks for either and keep the other one.

Any good hip-hop recommendations? I just recently got in to Jay Rock & Black Hippy. Other than that I’m having a tough time finding new stuff.

OldMilwaukeePounders
OldMilwaukeePounders
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: I’ve heard good things about the new Sweatshirt album. I totally forgot about it. I haven’t listened to any new Vince Staples since Prima Donna.

Those two are two of my favorites though. Did you ever check out that Denzel Curry album?

OldMilwaukeePounders
OldMilwaukeePounders
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Yeah man, the “Ta13oo” album is cool. Kinda “concepty” broken down in to 3 parts.

Leon Kennedy
Leon Kennedy
3 years ago

How do you get an avatar next to your name? Figured I’d ask this question on the catchers post since catchers are the red-headed stepchild of offseason rankings.

Cram It
Cram It
3 years ago

I can’t believe you allot this much time for catcher rankings. You should just sprinkle them into the overall rankings where you will. When the drafters are in the 23rd round, they can just refer to that for your next highest ranked catcher available.

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Yes, like with RP’s.

Ha. You can’t punt 1B though!

The Great Knoche
The Great Knoche
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Can’t wait to see your Ryan O’Hearn rank!

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Slim pickins for sure. Peter Alonso sleeper!

Cram It
Cram It
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Oh Van Nostrand wants him to be the guy. As long as he doesn’t totally flop in ST.

Will
Will
3 years ago

So basically you’re betting last year was a fluke for Contreras as you have him returning to his 2017 numbers (in 120 more AB). When in reality Contreras’s 2018 slugging % wasn’t all that different from Posey’s (.399 vs .382 for Posey). What gives you the confidence in the bounce back, kind sir?

Will
Will
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Quite the indictment of catchers if your #3 ranked one is not draftable, LOL.

Turd Wendell
Turd Wendell
3 years ago

Wow a Reggie Roby reference. The man wore a watch while he punted, heard it was a Shark watch.

J-Hova
J-Hova
3 years ago

Wow – 46 catchers! i’ll own Kelly in every league up until Colo streaming season begins.

This was kind of sad for me, i had no idea or had forgot that Reggie Roby died. I loved him in the day, especially since he’s the only NFL player that i can remember who wore a watch while playing.

Awesome work, PODCAST was great. I havnt heard you and Ralph agree on so much since railing on Kanye last season.

bill
bill
3 years ago

“T-Mobile Park is formerly known as Safeco. I will confuse the two multiple times this year.”
Not sure why writers feel they must refer to ballparks by their paid advertising names. Do you guys get a perk? Didn’t think so. Not to mention that even hardcore fans don’t know whose ballpark it is. Let alone the casual fan. Start a revolution…Why not refer to the as: Houston Ballpark, Dodger ballpark etc.

Sweatpants Nation
Sweatpants Nation
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: I call it Shea-lite. . Sounds French

Sweatpants Nation
Sweatpants Nation
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: Tres good question.

Mr. Crab
Mr. Crab
3 years ago

Not as many surprises as on Top 20 Hitters, but good insights to buy low on catchers (which I usually wait until last pick).
One surprise is how low you ranked Astudillo (#33). A piece of information that is interesting to know: in the winter league in Venezuela he struck out four (4!) times in 229 AB. This may not be an outlier since he had 3Ks in 93 AB ( and .353 BA!) last year with the Twins.
Even though he’ll be backing up Garver, he has dual eligibility (3B), which makes him an interesting option.

The biz
The biz
3 years ago

46 carchers and no Evan Gattis..how the mighty have fallen .

Eddie Gaeddel's 6'7" Grandson
Eddie Gaeddel's 6'7" Grandson
3 years ago

If one punts catchers in a 12 team 1 catcher league league, when is a good time to pick one? Let’s say it is a 25 round draft. Round 20? 25? Don’t draft one and just look at waivers once the season starts?

Sweatpants Nation
Sweatpants Nation
3 years ago

Maybe you sould change the name of this post to Top 20 Craptchers for 2019 Fantasy Baseball.

AdamH
AdamH
3 years ago

What’s the name of the hypothetical Sanchez/Contreras tier?

AdamH
AdamH
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: You always come through.

Gonzo_The_Great
Gonzo_The_Great
3 years ago

Jeez Grey – that is a depressing way to start the positional rankings. Is there any position with worse turnover? It doesn’t feel that long ago that people thought Lucroy was going to be battling with Posey. Vogt was a hot add two (maybe three) seasons ago, and now isn’t even on the list. You could write a similar anecdote for half the guys on the list.

I’m thinking I’m aiming for Jansen. Jays should suck, which means, barring him being a dumpster fire, he should get a pretty decent shot to see if last September’s showing was a fluke.

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
3 years ago

Hey Grey!

In a 12 team keep 7 forever (260 budget), is my $16 JDM + $15 Bryant too expensive for his $12 Lindor or $9 Trea?

If relevant, I’d use the extra keeper spot to keep my $29 Blackmon or $4 Matt Chapman (who maybe can put up what kris will do, with less average and maybe more songs?)

Thanks!

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: thanks!

Re: Manny Pina at 43….

Can we agree that he’s now Manny Piquena unless/until Grandal gets injured? (In which case he can be Manny No Mas Piquena).

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: for sure. I fully expect to own pina at some point this year.

dude
dude
3 years ago

Won my keeper league last year and I’m in a position to have a solid keeper group again. However after this year, my players salaries will be prohibitive (all players get $5 raises each year).

I’m trying to look at remaining just as competitive this year but with an eye on the future too.

I have and plan on keeping Verlander and Kluber ($36 and $35) among others.

Other teams have players such as Severino ($14), Snell ($15), Beuhler ($20) and Bauer ($21).

Should I look to explore the possibility of trades that would result in not keeping Verlander and Kluber in favor of 2 of the lower prices pitchers, or would the potential drop in 2019 value not be worth the longer term upside?

Mikey
Mikey
Reply to  dude
3 years ago

@dude: “Won my keeper league last year…” There’s no room for self-glossing on this site, dude. Ask your questions(s) and move on BROTHER!!

dude
dude
Reply to  Mikey
3 years ago

@Mikey:

It’s called “Context”! Thanks for that great feedback there Mikey.

Sweatpants Nation
Sweatpants Nation
Reply to  dude
3 years ago

@dude: I finished 6 out of 10 in my league last year but rallied at the end.

Sweatpants Nation
Sweatpants Nation
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey: And I can keep Tevor Story this year so should at least move up a spot. I’m in a 3-4 year rebuilding mode.

The Great Knoche
The Great Knoche
Reply to  dude
3 years ago

@dude: Depends what else your needs are. Those are overinvestment prices, but if I had solid hitting coming back at decent value I’d keep them.

Dubs23
Dubs23
3 years ago

Good call on American Pickers. I have Jansen for free in my keeper league so that’s a plus.

Kingslayer
Kingslayer
3 years ago

Once I saw there was a 21 I legit wondered if Grey realizes he said this would be top 20 or if he is just pulling generic headlines out of his-

The Great Knoche
The Great Knoche
Reply to  Kingslayer
3 years ago

@Kingslayer: You didnt read the Razzball contract. You have to click on an advertisement for every extra player over 20 we are given.

Kingslayer
Kingslayer
Reply to  The Great Knoche
3 years ago

@The Great Knoche: Damn you Razzball! *feverishly starts clicking ads*

D Fresh
D Fresh
3 years ago

Of course I google mythbusters girl to check the images. Well, she’s got balloon skills.

Dubs23
Dubs23
Reply to  D Fresh
3 years ago

@D Fresh: Nothing like a purple puppy.

Ian
Ian
3 years ago

46 catchers?!? You sadist!

Krinks
Krinks
3 years ago

In my league picked I picked Matt Scherzer right after someone else drafter Gary Sanchez. It is to laugh at how players change over such a short time.

Dave D
Dave D
3 years ago

This is so special, I feel like it’s Christmas. I get 46 catchers for the price of 20. That a bonus of…. I haven’t been this excited since my last trip to the dollar store when I got electrical outlet plugs for my baby-proofing. I saved a full three dollars over the hardware store then proceeded to buy another nine items of worthless crap that will serve no purpose. Thanks a lot, Grey. Stupendous post.

Dave D
Dave D
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey:

You’re worthwhile, we’ll keep you around, but these catchers you’re writing about are like soiled Depends on an aging alcoholic pushing a shopping cart down Skid Row. Visualise, olfactorize…???

Dave D
Dave D
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

@Grey:
Yes, and it was named by a fellow named “Mark.”

I may be the only person lower than you on catchers. My first DC draft I waited until round 32 for a catcher (Swihart) and the first catcher drafted on my 2nd DC team I took a leap in 28th round and took “Johnny” Carson-Kelly. I will probably regret that. Prior to last year I never took a catcher until round 17, and it was usually Russell Martin or the equivalent. That worked well. Last year I strayed by taking Sanchez and regretted it all year. Not since Mike Piazza has there been a catcher worthy of a first round pick.

My DC-2 catchers chosen:

28. Kelly
30. Vazquez
41. Swihart
47. A. Garcia
50. G. Stubbs (for laughs mostly)