The ax fell yesterday on Luis Severino‘s elbow. That ax was wielded by Dr. James Andrews, who was wearing a Jason mask at the time of the news conference. A reporter stands, “Doc, do you think Severino can avoid Tommy John surgery?” Dr. James Andrews, breathy like Kathleen Turner with an unmistakeable Charleston accent, “I do declare,” Dr. James Andrews pats his mask with a handkerchief, “Severino’s time under the knife will be short, but his stay on the Injured List long.” He then scratched his arm with the ax and accidentally ripped his doctor’s lab coat. “If there’s no further questions, I will be going,” Dr. James Andrews stood, sticking out his arms in a Jason pose, and slowly left the stage. So, Severino and Dr. James Andrews have been acquainted and if you drafted Severino early, you’re ess oh el as they say in Acronyms R’ Us chatrooms. I’ve removed Severino from the top 40 starters and top 500 for 2020 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Jonathan Lucroy to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
This is gonna be a weird one. Just when you think the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball are stacked chef’s kiss finding a vacation home on House Hunters International, they take a left turn and become ugly like the Property Brothers. Well, mostly the one who always wears plaid. Any hoo! This post goes on for about 1.8 million words, so let’s dive in. Here’s Steamer’s 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections included here are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included. Let’s do this! Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, darkness, my old friend. But replace ‘darkness’ with ‘catchers’ and ‘my old friend’ with ‘we have to get through this to get further into our 2020 fantasy baseball rankings.’ Hmm…Then replace ‘our 2020 fantasy baseball rankings’ with ‘my 2020 fantasy baseball rankings,’ then replace ‘with’ with ‘wit’ to millennialify it, then replace every third ‘replace’ with ‘in place of’ to diversify word choice because my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. Pinatauro, said we shouldn’t repeat words–Actually, she can eat it! After going over the top 10 for 2020 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2020 fantasy baseball (clickbait!), we are now in the positional rankings, and all 2020 fantasy baseball rankings can be found there. Here’s Steamer’s 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. The projections noted in the post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop. I also mention a bunch of hullabaloo, so let’s get to it. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2020 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
On Dancer! On Prancer! On–Oh, I didn’t hear you come in. Welcome, reader! Grab some egg nog and brandy it up to the fire. You look festive. I love that Rudolph tongue ring. That’s the great thing about Christmas, no matter what your interpretation is, it’s all about commercialism. That’s unless you light the Munenori Kawasaki. The 2020 fantasy baseball rankings are not far away. Right now, January Grey is throwing darts at a board to figure out where to rank Shohei Ohtani, the hitter vs. Shohei Ohtani, the pitcher. Maybe I should use two dart boards. Hmm…In the meantime, let’s look at the players who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2020 fantasy baseball season. I did this list of multi-position eligible players because I figured it would help for your 2020 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m a giver, snitches! Happy Holidays! I only listed players that have multiple position eligibility of five games or more started outside of their primary position. Not four games at a position, not three, definitely not two. Five games started. If they played eight games somewhere but only started one, they are not listed. 5, the Road Runner of numbers. So this should cover Yahoo, ESPN, CBS, et al (not the Israeli airline). Players with multiple position eligibility are listed once alphabetically under their primary position. Games played are in parenthesis. One big take away is Jonathan Villar started in, like, 200 games. That can’t be right. Oh, I know, they’re listed if they had 5 or more games started, but I noted games played in parenthesis, so Villar must’ve switched positions three times per game or played two positions at once because the Orioles only had seven fielders plus a pitcher. Don’t know, don’t care. Players are listed by Games Started, and Games Played are noted. It’s not confusing at all! This is the only time a year I do anything alphabetically, so I might’ve confused some letters. Is G or H first? Who knows, and, better yet, who cares! Wow, someone’s got the Grinchies, must be the spiked egg nog talking. Anyway, here’s all the players with multiple position eligibility for the 2020 fantasy baseball season and the positions they are eligible at:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The last month the Gurriel father & son team, Yu-Lou-Gu, have been having is absolutely crazy. It’s the best father & son month since August 1984 with Yogi and Dale Berra. Only Yogi and Dale’s great month wasn’t due to on-field play, but Yogi making a drug-sniffing dog’s handler laugh while Dale snuck an eight ball of coke through security at a Def Leppard concert. “If this leopard is deaf, what kind of singer is he gonna be?” Oh, Yogi, you card! Yesterday, Yuli Gurriel went 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting .281, as he continues his torrid pre-All-Star break pace. He’s hitting close to .380 in July with eight homers. That’s in 38 at-bats. He has 11 homers in his last fifteen games. Only one near as hot is his son, Lourdes. Hopefully, both Gurriels keep it going, knowing it ain’t over ’til the encore of Pour Some Sugar on Me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
*nervous finger tap* How many days without baseball? So, I can close my fantasy baseball team browser window without missing anything? Okay. *throws computer out window* What? Was there another way to close my fantasy team page? I hadn’t in so long I forgot. What do you mean I can go outside without worrying about missing anything in baseball? But there’s real people out there! I’m staying right here, thank you very much! So, we’re headed to the break, and it couldn’t have come at a worst time for Jack Flaherty (7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.64). Let him pitch again tomorrow, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or until his ERA is under 4! Also, can he pitch against the Giants for all of those? Even if Alex Dickerson is as strong a cleanup man as you can find (in any Division II school’s lineup). Flaherty’s peripherals (9.9 K/9, 3 BB/9, 4.07 xFIP) aren’t exactly whistling Dixie; they’re closer to ‘fixing dinner from stuff found on the floor of a Winn-Dixie.’ “Toomgis hate Winn-Dixie. Their bath salts are lame.” I know, Toomgis, I know. Flaherty won’t appear in the top 100 for the 2nd half that’s coming tomorrow, but at least he’s headed to the break looking better than he has all year, even if it was vs. the Aints. By the way, I hear the Orioles are going to pitch on Monday to stay in game shape. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sorry, but first I must purge myself of all Yu song references. If you don’t like that, Yu Can’t Always Get What Yu Want, but, if Yu try, Yu might get what Yu need, because all Yu Need Is Love, and I Wish Yu Were Here. Yu Give Love A Bad Name, but I’m gonna Run to Yu. Even if Rick rolled, I’m Never Gonna Give Yu Up, and shut don’t go up, but Yu do. Yu Take My Breath Away when Yu pitch well, but Yu Never Give Me Your Money, which makes sense since Yu Don’t Know Me. Without or Without Yu Yu (stutterer!) can put together a solid rotation, but Yu Light Up My Life when it’s the Best of Yu. Have I Told Yu Lately he needed to cut down on his walks? Yesterday, he went 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks (zero walks!), ERA at 5.14, and I Know What Yu Did Last Summer (disambiguation: song), but what about now? Don’t Yu (Forget About Me). Did the Rangers closer, Chris Martin, Fix Yu? Remains doubtful, but no walks is Arthur’s Theme (Best Yu Can Do). Any hoo! Yu Darvish might’ve been dealing with a mechanics issue, and maybe now that’s fixed. He does have a near-12 K/9, the only bugaboo is his 7+ BB/9, but if he can tame that he immediately shoots to at least a number two, and stops plopping out number twos. Do Yu Understand (ft Tory Lanez & Gunna). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Doe, a deer, a female deer that sounds like Chaz Roe. Ray, a drop of eleven Rays! Me, a name I call myself while looking in the mirror to check on my hair–Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. I was just singing a little song I call, “Julie Andrews is One Hot Cougar.” Yesterday, Robbie Ray did the impossible. No, not strike out 11 Rays hitters. I mean, yes, he did that. But that’s not what I found impossible. I find it impossible to like him, and yesterday he made me smile a little. Sure, this ‘impossible task’ is a bit subjective, but get out of your own head, it’s all subjective! Life’s subjective! Wow, I just became an angry philosopher. Call me Socrankies. Robbie Ray’s line yesterday 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (3 BBs), 11 Ks is almost exactly him to a T. He is a 4.7 BB/9 guy and that was his BB/9 yesterday in under six innings. He can’t go deep because of the walks, and his Ks are gorge, but also limit his IP. I don’t hate him as much as it might seem. I don’t own him, but I can understand the allure. I “allurve” Ks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
On April 7th, Derek Dietrich admired his 3rd home run of the season for an ungodly amount of time. The last straw for the opposing team was when he paused before running to first, placed a Craigslist ad, waited five days for a sketch artist to respond, then had the sketch artist draw him rounding the bases. Then when he got to third and saw the first draft of the drawing, yelled, “No freakin’ charcoal,” and paused for another few days to find someone who worked in pen. After that display, everyone was calling Dereck Dietrich a hot dog, even the world’s leading critic of hot dogs, the guy driving the Weinermobile. Of course, none of this was blown out of proportion like Tim Anderson. Cut to weeks later and we’ve realized why Dietrich wanted to study his home run trot. He was perfecting it. On Friday, he hit his 6th and 7th homers, then his 8th homer on Saturday and his 9th homer on Sunday (1-for-3, hitting .257). I doubt it continues, but I also can’t imagine a reason to not ride the hot schmotato while it’s going on. As 50 Cent’s fantasy baseball team is named: Get Dietrich or Dietrich Tryin’. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We gonna talk about Lil’ Wayne’s favorite baseball player, “Franmil mil mil mil mil…mil mil, a mil.” Much to chagrin of the former Padres’ outfielder and Missy Elliott’s favorite player, “Matt Sczrczrczr,” or as she would say, “nac uoy eveileb eh saw reve a gniht Sczrczrczr my skizzard.” Franmil Reyes looks like a cross between Kyle Blanks and a vending machine that dispenses steaks. “Damn, I thought this was the crappy hot chocolate vending machine and now I just got charged $54 for a T-bone.” That’s someone getting a vending machine steak. Yesterday, Franmil Reyes did what he’s been known/capable of — blasting two, loud $54 vending machine T-bones into orbit, ending the night 3-for-4 with his 7th and 8th homer. He’s now on pace for 40 homers. Greek chorus, “Who isn’t?!” Okay, GC, but Franmil can get to 40 homers, unlike, say, Tommy La Stella. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?