Hello, darkness, my old friend.  But replace ‘darkness’ with ‘catchers’ and ‘my old friend’ with ‘we have to get through this to get further into our 2020 fantasy baseball rankings.’  Hmm…Then replace ‘our 2020 fantasy baseball rankings’ with ‘my 2020 fantasy baseball rankings,’ then replace ‘with’ with ‘wit’ to millennialify it, then replace every third ‘replace’ with ‘in place of’ to diversify word choice because my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. Pinatauro, said we shouldn’t repeat words–Actually, she can eat it!  After going over the top 10 for 2020 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2020 fantasy baseball (clickbait!), we are now in the positional rankings, and all 2020 fantasy baseball rankings can be found there.  Here’s Steamer’s 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers.  The projections noted in the post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop.  I also mention a bunch of hullabaloo, so let’s get to it.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2020 fantasy baseball:


1. J.T. Realmuto – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until here. I call this tier, “Why your grandmother blocked you on Twitter.” Not asking you, homey. I’m saying she blocked your stupid ass because you drafted a top catcher. And good for her. Or she didn’t realize a # was a hashtag and thought it was a tic tac toe board and just blocked you because she was playing. I wanna believe it was due to the 1st reason though. Grandmom’s woke, fool! That’s why before she dies she promised to say they’re uploading her to the cloud. Last year I ranked Realmuto first and he finished 1st. Put away the kindling and stake. There’s no reason to burn me for being a witch. I’m smart, not witchy. As I’ve said numerous times before, it still doesn’t mean I’d ever mess with a top catcher. Jerry Tomato Realmuto can fall to the end of the top 100 and I wouldn’t mess with him. To put it the exact same way again, don’t draft top catchers. Also, Jerry Tomato had routine knee surgery, which I’m guessing will affect his running game, because there’s no such thing as routine knee surgery on a catcher. Finally, something said before by me twice already in this blurb, don’t draft top catchers. 2020 Projections: 34/9/30/.278/1 in 195 ABs

2. Gary Sanchez – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Contreras. I call this tier, “Tying a 12-foot CVS receipt to your bumper on your wedding day.” You might think you’re being cute drafting one of these guys, like you think it’s a cute idea to use an extra long CVS receipt as a wedding streamer, but both are trash ideas. Now to use a CVS receipt as a budget mummy costume that’s not a bad idea. You’re quirky, and I appreciate that. Don’t be so gee-dee quirky that you think you should draft a top catcher. Now, if one of these guys falls past 200 overall, then I guess it’s okay. As for Sanchez, it still shocks me how bad he is for batting average and I’ve been shocked by that about a dozen times prior. He’s 2nd in the majors for barrels per plate appearance, but, apparently with his extreme launch angle, all that means is he either strikes out, homers or flies out to deep parts of the park. A True Three Flyoutcome. 2020 Projections: 25/13/30/.236 in 158 ABs

3. Yasmani Grandal – As I said previously, “(Grandal) signed with the White Sox. Catchers are such late bloomers. Grandal seemed like the meow’s cat back in 2012 when he was called up with the Padres, then did nothing for four years only to emerge later as one of the best offensive catchers. Yadier comes to mind too as a late bloomer to okay, boomer. Definitely not a clearcut path for all catchers, though. Posey took the near-opposite route, burning out young from too many jostles to the melon. Melon jostling is on the catcher contract they make with themselves and is notarized by Joe Torre in the league office. As for Grandal in his new home, I punt top catchers, but this won’t hurt his value.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 27/9/29/.241/1 in 187 ABs

4. Willson Contreras – Maybe it’s the juiced balls but there’s like ten catchers who could hit 30 homers if I gave them 500+ at-bats, and one who doesn’t even need all of those at-bats (Hint: You just read about him), and one catcher who might hit 30+ homers in a half season of at-bats or might hit five or fewer homers (*itch Garver). Willson falls into the 30+ homers if I gave him 500+ at-bats. Gonna go out on a fairly sturdy limb and say there’s more decent catchers than DHs. First Ron Blomberg has to tell all his friends it’s not him who is running for president and now this affront.  2020 Projections: 24/9/26/.258 in 157 ABs

5. Mitch Garver – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Kelly. I call this tier, “Please put your seat in the upright position and remove your prophylactic.” We’ve landed in a portion of the draft where you can draft a catcher. That doesn’t mean you should be reaching for one of these catchers. In the big picture, we’re around 200th overall. So, as you can imagine, I’m being cheeky with this tier. Do I expect all of these guys to be available after 200 overall? Nah, that seems unlikely.  What I said for Vazquez applies here. I did giggle trying to imagine projections systems trying to do *itch Garver’s 2020 projections. It’s like this:  Computer examining Garver’s 7-homer power from 2018, then it looks at his 58-homer power from 2019, then the hard drive starts to run really hot and fast and eventually a little pinwheel spins on the desktop, and eventually the user has to Ctrl-Alt-Delete out of the program. 2020 Projections: 21/10/27/.261 in 151 ABs

6. Will Smith – I almost ranked Will Smith 2nd overall for catchers behind Realmuto, so I’m a big fan, and with big fans come big air and with big air comes big helium and Will Smith starred in Wild, Wild West, which featured a mix of sci-fi and Western motifs, which is referred to as steampunk and steam comes from hot air and hot air balloons are sometimes filled with helium and Will Smith was The Fresh Prince of where? Bel…Say it with me now..Air! That all tracks, don’t try to question it. I love Will Smith, the catcher. He seems like he could be anywhere from a 20-homer catcher to the #1 catcher in baseball with 30+ homers and a decent average. 2020 Projections: 23/9/27/.262/1 in 176 ABs

7. Christian Vazquez – This is going to be a recurring theme in the catchers rankings. Their previous year numbers are goofy compared to the year before. If someone told me Our Commissioner Manfred somehow only had juiced balls used for catchers, it wouldn’t shock me. Catchers collectively in 2018 had HR/FB of around 3%, and seemed like good bets to hit seven homers total in a full season. Then, last year, it was like the field turned clockwise and the 1st basemen bats were behind home plate. Of course, I mention this here because Vazquez was the first big benefactor of juiced balls or really did become a different hitter. Which was it? Well, rather than answering that, I’ll say for catchers it doesn’t matter. You’re drafting a catcher after 200th overall so if you’re expecting 20+ homers from Vazquez or Garver or any of these guys and they’re not hitting in April, you can just drop them for someone else or, suck it up, buttercup, in deeper leagues. 2020 Projections: 21/7/25/.272/2 in 173 ABs

8. Jorge Alfaro – Fun with Statcast! Alfaro has an elite exit velocity, but through tweaks — yo, he’s a tweaker! — his launch angle flattened, so his fly ball rate came down a little, so he went from 420-feet on average per homer to a 404-foot per homer guy. His batting average from year to year was exactly the same — .262 — but his BABIP fell forty points, so now his .260 is repeatable, and last time I checked 404 feet fly balls were home runs just about everywhere *checking again* again, pretty much everywhere. If you’ve followed my rankings for a minute, you know I love Alfaro, prolly more than any sane person should, which checks out because I’m crazy. If you’ve watched Alfaro, you know he hits missiles, and something no one talks about, he had the highest sprint speed score for catchers last year, better than even Realmuto.  2020 Projections: 20/7/23/.259/2 in 168 ABs

9. Wilson Ramos – One of the few catchers who didn’t hit for more power last year than every year in the history of creation, unless you count the power he had over whether or not Syndergaard would pitch well. Ramos looks like he’s settled into a low power, low strikeouts, high (for a catcher) batting average guy. Call him a mid-career Yadier Molina — Not-Far-In-The-Air Molina? Hmm, needs work. 2020 Projections: 20/5/25/.291 in 168 ABs

10. Salvador Perez – Since I’m grouping so many of the question marks together and drafting a bunch of Riddler’s leotards as my catcher, may as well throw Sal P. of the Do The Right Thing pizzeria in this tier. He should be ready for Opening Day. Will he? Hold on, let me call up Ms. Cleo. 2020 Projections: 20/8/27/.238 in 174 ABs

11. Robinson Chirinos – Signed with the Rangers because they couldn’t say nuh-uh to uh-oh Chirinos. 2020 Projections: 19/6/21/.231/1 in 153 ABs

12. Carson Kelly – An excellent bridge between this safer tier with the next “Are these guys even playing?” upside tier. Kelly doesn’t hit a ton of fly balls, hits a lot of ground balls, his 18 homers from last year seem like a high, but, eff it, it’s a catcher. Give him a whirlybird! 2020 Projections: 19/6/19/.257 in 153 ABs

13. Francisco Mejia – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Jansen. I call this tier, “Oh, you really Reggie Roby’d this bitch, huh?” This tier of catchers is if you really punted your catcher in one-catcher leagues. If you’re in a two-catcher league, I would’ve made sure I drafted at least one catcher in the Jiggy Wit’ It tier, and could be looking at a 2nd catcher in this tier. As for Mejia (and really this whole tier), he (they) show(s)–Okay, parentheticals are screwing me up now. Fun fact! Method Man’s Tical is short for parenthetical. Betcha didn’t know that. Okay, okay, OKAY! Asides aside, Mejia and this tier show you it’s hard to trust young catchers, it sometimes takes them a while to click. Remember that if you’re thinking about Adley Rutschman (but ignore it with Will Smith).  2020 Projections: 16/6/19/.273/1 in 150 ABs

14. Omar Narvaez – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Narvaez was) traded to the Brewers. His value just went *insert emoji of Jim Cramer hemorrhaging*. Narvaez has been a steal in draft prior to this news, and I imagine this won’t move the needle that much since he’s still a catcher. Last year, in a terrible lineup, platooning with Tom Murphy, in an awful park, Narvaez hit 22 homers and .278 with neutral luck on average and possibly low HR/FB%. In other words, Narvaez could be a top three catcher this year without much changing about him except a better team and park.” And that’s me quoting me! Upon reflection, I’m worried Omar will be in a slight platoon. I guess I’m nervous for Narvaez. 2020 projections: 21/7/24/.281 in 127 ABs

15. Sean Murphy – He was in Prospect Itch’s top 25 prospects for 2020 fantasy baseball to which I say, “A CATCHER?!” Caps and interrobang to emphasize surprise. I might need to talk to P.I. and ask him what he was thinking and/or smoking. Murph-dog does have power — 10 HRs in 31 games in Triple-A, 4 games last year in Oaktown — but I’m not sure the A’s will even give him everyday duties — hehe, I said duties. Worth a flyer for upside. 2020 Projections: 15/6/18/.251 in 143 ABs

16. Tom Murphy – Some real wiseacre is gonna see Tom Murphy’s ranking and say something in their best Comic Book Guy voice, “All credibility is lost.” Well, smart guy, guess what, Tom Murphy ranked 18th overall at the end of last year on the backside of a backstop platoon! So, take your toxicity and shove it! Wow, I sounded like I was in the Broadway version of 9 to 5, playing the Hanoi Jane role. 2020 Projections: 16/7/19/.233/1 in 142 ABs

17. Danny Jansen – I see some places listing Jansen in a platoon with Reese McGuire, but that’s obviously contingent on a third season of Big Little Lies– *intern whispers in my ear* Reese Witherspoon? Are you sure? Hmm, okay, I’m being told HBO’s spring schedule has nothing to do with Jansen’s playing time.  2020 Projections: 17/5/19/.241/1 in 140 ABs

18. Travis d’Arnaud – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Perez. I call this tier, “People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Barely Alive.” A word about two-catcher leagues. If you’re in one of those abominations, I’d draft this tier before the previous, upside, flyer, adjective, Mejia tier. As for The French Terminator aka Le Terminator aka d’Arnaud, here’s what I said this offseason, “Le Terminator signed with the Braves. He seemed reborn last year, which for a French robot is as good as it baguettes. Do I think d’Arnaud will…*bad French Schwarzenegger accent*…be back? Not entirely.” And that’s me quoting me!  2020 Projections: 17/6/18/.246 in 140 ABs

19. Yadier Molina – This is funny (not funny at all). For a while, Molina looked like a 7/7/.260 hitter. Real, utter bleh. Then he became a 22/10/.315 hitter. As the years past, his power, speed and average have slowly eroded, and he’s headed back to being a 7/7/.260 hitter. Told ya, funny! Also, I go over Molina in the video at the top of the page. 2020 Projections: 18/4/20/.264/2 in 156 ABs

20. Kurt Suzuki – Every year Suzuki seems to start the year as a starter, and, by the end of the season, he’s platooning with someone, and becomes the backup catcher. Without fail. Well, I guess it’s his failing. 2020 Projections: 16/6/20/.261 in 130 ABs

21. Roberto Perez – He really should’ve been in the Riddler’s Leotards above since Perez went from a 2-homer hitter to a 24-homer hitter. However, I think if you rely on Ro-Pe, you’re gonna be hung out to dry. 2020 Projections: 15/6/19/.228 in 140 ABs

22. Buster Posey – Apropos of Posey — Aproposey, if you will — I was in a mock draft this offseason, and I didn’t really pay attention because it was a mock draft and who cares in November so it’s wrong to say others were caring, but someone drafted Buster Posey in this one-catcher, 12-team mixed league and I had to wonder why. I’m convinced Posey is one of those guys who gets drafted just because non-baseball fans know him. Last year, he was the 25th best (worst?) catcher for fantasy, and he’s been wildly bleh three of the last four years, and the 4th year was just mediocre. Honestly, he’s been good good only three of ten years of his career. Not just me talking either. His Steamer projections are around 11 HRs and a .274 average with 55 in runs and RBIs. Posey’s best month last year was 3 HRs, 11 RBIs and .280 average. Aristides Aquino had better first three innings of one game. 2020 Projections: 18/3/19/.254/1 in 153 ABs UPDATE: Opted out

22. Chance Sisco – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Gomes. I call this tier, “If this is your backstop starter, you might consider a backstop stopper.” ‘Member the movie Sliding Doors?  I never saw it either, but you remember it, right?  Okay, well, imagine a number one catcher were to make his train and live his best number one catcher life, accruing stats and all the money that came with it.  The guy who misses the train drinks bum wine and is known as Chance Sisco. Oddly enough, another guy on the O’s who could get catcher time is Austin Wynns, and he sounds like the guy who won the Sliding Doors alternative universe scenario, but he’s a two-homer hitter, so who is really winning here? The other Orioles catcher, Pedro Severino? Not a chance. Also, I go over Sisco in the video at the top of the page. 2020 Projections: 16/5/18/.212 in 140 ABs

23. Tucker Barnhart – This *ucker hit 11 homers last year in 114 games. Wait until he hears about juiced balls. He’s gonna feel so silly! 2020 Projections: 14/4/16/.244 in 122 ABs

24. Joey Bart – Already gave you my Joey Bart sleeper. It was written while designing a poster for the Fillmore. 2020 projections: 18/6/24/.264 in 153 ABs

25. Martin Maldonado – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Astros. This is the kind of move teams make to expose people who only care about fantasy and quote-unquote offense. So tread carefully out there if anyone asks you what you think of this signing.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 15/5/18/.222 in 134 ABs

26. Austin Romine – Here’s what I said this offseason, “It was the last day of the Winter Meetings. The Tigers kept quiet for most of the time. Had their GM been caught under a stack of phonebooks? Was the parking ticket the team bus received on the first day weighing down their chances of making a huge splash in free agency? Or, as their dozens of fans wanted to believe, they were just biding their time? That’s when the 40 or so Tigers fans received the news. It wasn’t Gerrit Cole. It wasn’t Anthony Rendon. It wasn’t even Dawel Lugo, because they thought they already had him, it was Austin Romine. He’s a -12 WAR player, but what is WAR good for? Absolutely nothing! Which the Tigers brass thought might’ve been recorded in Detroit, so that was a selling point to their fans too.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 14/4/16/.247/1 in 138 ABs

27. Yan Gomes – Re-signed with the Nats for $10 million and you should’ve quit high school and blocked balls in the dirt, but you didn’t, did you? You’re such a dope! 2020 Projections: 14/4/17/.233 in 131 ABs

28. Austin Hedges – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the end of the list. I call this tier, “*motioning to your chin*”  By the tier name, I mean you fell asleep during your draft and you have drool on your chin, and you also slept through the time you were supposed to draft a catcher. As for Hedges, I didn’t want to project Hedges, because that would mean Mejia’s missing playing time, but I’m a sucker for hedges, while also hating Hedges. So much conflicted irony! 2020 Projections: 10/5/14/.212/1 in 107 ABs

29. Zack Collins – Wanna see fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) get excited? Tell them a guy has catcher eligibility but will be starting at a different position, but you really wanna see fantasy baseballers really lose it? Tell them it’s a guy who has prospect pedigree and upside. Woo-boy, fantasy baseballers are gonna need a cold shower after drafting Collins. 2020 Projections: 8/4/13/.226 in 100 ABs

30. Jacob Stallings – This guy is a Pirates icon, because he swings the bat like he’s eyepatched. 2020 Projections: 12/4/15/.251 in 129 ABs

31. Manny Pina – In crazy small sample sizes he looks good, which sounds like ex-girlfriends describing me.  2020 Projections: 11/4/13/.230 in 117 ABs

32. Pedro Severino – There should be some kind of reward for a guy who is miserably bad who is able to stay in a good team’s lineup. The Cilantro in Guac Award? Severino wins the Cilantro in Guac Award this year.  2020 Projections: 12/4/13/.242/1 in 103 ABs

33. Mike Zunino – Who’s Zunino’ing who?! You, if you draft Zunino. Does anyone really think Cash will count on Zunino to be his catcher? He was just so impressed with Zunino last year that they went out and got Le Terminator. 2020 Projections: 12/4/13/.205/1 in 113 ABs

34. Victor Caratini – His name implies a martini for Bugs Bunny, and his stats make you say, “Oh, Fudd.” 2020 Projections: 13/3/14/.269 in 99 ABs

35. Austin Nola – Similar to Zack Collins in that he will be starting at other positions but has catcher eligibility, so that gets fantasy baseballers’ loins hot, but watch them come to terms with that excitement while they look at Nola’s 7-homer power. So bittersweet. Bitter…then sweet…sweet, then bitter. 2020 Projections: 13/3/15/.254/1 in 127 ABs

36. James McCann – With the signing of Grandal, James got kicked in McCann. 2020 Projections: 9/3/13/.242 in 90 ABs

37. Tyler Flowers – Singing, “You don’t send me Flowers in trades anymore…Because you respect me.” 2020 Projections: 9/3/12/.242 in 86 ABs

38. Austin Allen – I want to act excited for the idea of Austin Allen getting reps behind the plate, but, as I get older, I’m a lot more interested in home furnishing stores, and Austin Allen sounds like one, so my excitement might be misguided. 2020 Projections: 9/4/12/.254 in 86 ABs

39. Reese McGuire – We’re 100% sure this is the star of Big Little Lies, right? Can someone confirm? 2020 Projections: 11/2/13/.233 in 98 ABs

40. Jason Castro – At one point, I had in these rankings Garrett Stubbs, but next to his name it read, “Remove if Astros sign someone,” and I listed Jose Trevino where it read, “Remove him if the Rangers sign someone,” and name after name of placeholders while teams filled up their rosters with free agents. So, I think you know where this is going. Next to Kevan Smith’s name was ‘Angels placeholder’ and guess what the Angels went out and did. Went out and signed Jason Castro. Wow, what an upgrade! 2020 Projections: 14/4/16/.228 in 141 ABs

41. Andrew Knizner – In 75 years, Yadier Molina’s frozen head is going to have a mitt propped on top of it, and it will be the starting catcher for the Cardinals. 2020 Projections: 9/3/9/.251 in 86 ABs

42. Willians Astudillo – Is “Fun” a category in your league? Then get in a new league so it makes sense to draft Willians Astudillo! 2020 Projections: 9/3/11/.288/1 in 76 ABs

43. Jonathan LucroyRockies are reportedly interested in him and, knowing the Rockies, Lucroy will play 3rd and they’ll bench Arenado. UPDATE: Signed to be the backup catcher in Boston. Have heard female Sawx fans are already flooding morning sports radio with anger. “Why’d we get Lucroy? That fahkin’ seltzer crap can’t hold a candle to White Claw!”2020 Projections: 11/3/13/.256 in 77 ABs

44. Jake Rogers – Like someone who would try to twist Chance Sisco’s head off to drink him, Rogers would like you to know 40s are good, because that’s what he has in all his scouting grades. 2020 Projections: 10/3/12/.210 in 101 ABs

45. Dom Nunez – Could the Rockies actually move away from Wolters in 2020? Sure, if Lesley Stahl is available. 2020 Projections: 10/4/12/.207 in 72 ABs

46. Tony Wolters – As long as Tony Wolters continues to wave around nude pics in the darkest recesses of the Rockies’ clubhouse and do Bud Blackmail, he will be the starter. Unless they sign Lucroy. The air is moist with tension! 2020 Projections: 16/1/17/.258/1 in 140 ABs