Remove Giancarlo’s hamate bone! Please! Actually, remove all players’ hamate bones immediately! Sorry, not to get all The Handmaid’s Tale here, but have Aunt Lydia line up all hitters and scalpel their hamates out of their hands. No, no, no, seriously! What if the hamateless hand is just a millisecond quicker around on a swing adding to exit velocity and–Ugh! Can’t that be a possibility? I will remove my tinfoil hat for you to answer me. Okay, I can’t risk Thetans invading my between-the-ears-space so I’m putting the hat back on. Sorry. So, Jose Ramirez returned from the IL, hamateless, and did what Matt Olson and legions of others (maybe no one else) have done before and homered a bazillion times. Yesterday, Jose Ramirez went 2-for-3, 7 RBIs with his 21st and 22nd homer. In 2020, I imagine Jose Ramirez will be ranked in the preseason by everyone like I ranked him coming into this year — at some point in the 2nd round vs. that top five ranking everyone was giving him like a bunch of loons. Though, now that hamate removal surgery is the new cortisone shot… Hmm… Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Yan Gomes to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Have you not heard yet? The hottest goss (I promise no Avengers spoilers) is that the Los Angeles Angels will call up top prospect slash future OC-heartthrob Griffin Canning to start against the Toronto Blue Jays on Tuesday. What a Friday for the rooks! We got Vlad, Kieboom, and Rengifo all in one night, and now Griffin Canning. It’s almost like a symbolic passing of the torch with all these young guys arriving this week. New replacing old, etc. And no, that was not an Endgame spoiler. Leave me alone, nerds! I haven’t even seen it yet you bought all the tickets! Normally, I’d save the prospect posts for Mike or Grey, but I don’t want you dear readers and even dearer web crawling robots missing out on another sexy call up this weekend. So let’s talk about Griffin Canning. Sounds like a very dangerous game or the new coolest extreme sport they might play at Hogwarts. Griffin’s got a 0.56 ERA, 0.94 WHIP and 17/2 K/BB ratio through his first three starts at AAA Salt Lake Bees (bzzz), which to be fair, looks a whole lot better than anything the Angels starters have been doing over the past four weeks. Canning features four solid pitches including his mid-90s fastball and a real nasty curve. His past struggles have all been related to his command but he’s thrown 66% of his pitches for strikes so far this year and the 3.3 BB% indicates he may have figured things out. Griffin doesn’t necessarily profile as an top end ace, but he could be a solid back of the rotation starter and help your fantasy team immediately. Rookie pitchers may be my kryptonite (not a spoiler), but what are you waiting for? The prospect sweepstakes has begun and Griffin Canning is worth a flier in all leagues. The Angels think he’s got the stuff to help them win right now and methinks he could do the same for you.
Here’s what else I saw Friday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Auction drafting reminds me of playing poker. Having a plan of attack, choosing the right hand to play, and then subsequently winning the hand while finding out that you could’ve made a lot more money if you had played it correctly. If you’re patient enough, play the rights hands and stick to the calculations, it’ll work out to your benefit more often than not, but are you that patient?
Can you let a player go under value because he’s not part of your plan? Can you avoid getting sucked into the auction and over paying for your guy? Can you avoid killing your budget faster than a college kid on spring break?
Hindsight is 20/20 and that is rarely more apparent than over the course of an auction. I don’t believe I’ve ever left an auction without regret. However, even if you don’t stick to your plan, there are ways to maneuver the auction to make your team build complete.
My plan coming into the auction was similar to my draft strategy for most of my leagues. I wanted to concentrate my bat spending on top of the order, high average, speed guys. Accomplished this with my combination of Ronald Acuna Jr. and Trea Turner. I balanced that speed with power in Edwin Encarnacion, Miguel Andujar, Justin Upton, and Max Muncy.
For my pitching, I took a more aggressive stance than normal and only wanted one ace and two established closers. I got Max Scherzer and then grabbed Edwin Diaz, Sean Doolittle, and Pedro Strop late.Please, blog, may I have some more?
While Grey was off gallivanting in Jackson’s Hole sipping hot toddies and drafting his AL-Only team from heated chair lifts, I spent my day at a shady Illinois car dealership drafting my AL-Only team in that same league while getting fleeced on a used car. After I spent $35 on The Messiah, Adalberto Mondesi, Grey cracked, “I hope you get a better deal on that car than you got on Mondesi!” Oh real funny, Grey! That’s rich coming from the guy who spent $10 on Bryce Harper in an AL-Only league!
Nevertheless, my AL team took a turn for the worse when the car dealer tried to tack a $399 “Dealer Inventory Fee” onto the negotiated sale price. And that’s the story of how I spent $3 on Daniel Mengden and $1 on Chad Pinder in the all-important late stages of an AL-Only auction with the titans of the industry. Fortunately, our friend Scott White of CBS gave ya boy Donkey Teeth one more shot at the glory-hole in the NL-Only version of the same league. And this time, I wouldn’t be preoccupied disputing undisclosed dealer inventory fees while being stuck with auto-nominated Chad Pinders. Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and the tale of how I left Grey lusting after my Wong, again:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, darkness, my old friend. But replace ‘darkness’ with ‘catchers’ and ‘my old friend’ with ‘we have to get through this to get further into our 2019 fantasy baseball rankings.’ Hmm…Then replace ‘our 2019 fantasy baseball rankings’ with ‘my 2019 fantasy baseball rankings,’ then replace ‘with’ with ‘wit’ to millennialify it, then replace every third ‘replace’ with ‘in place of’ to diversify word choice because my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. Pinatauro, said we shouldn’t repeat words–Actually, she can eat it! After going over the top 10 for 2019 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2019 fantasy baseball (clickbait!), we are now in the positional rankings, and all 2019 fantasy baseball rankings can be found there. Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. The projections noted in the post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop. I also mention a bunch of hullabaloo, so let’s get to it. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
How Mets are the Mets Mets’ing when they hire Robinson Cano‘s old agent to be their GM, then immediately go out and trade for an aging slugger, coming off his worst season, who is owed $100 million (minus $20 mil M’s are taking) over the next five years and is 36 years old? Is that just so Mets or what? This feels like collusion to me. I’m not reporting them to Robert Manfred or Robert Mueller, because I used to be a CAA client, Brodie’s old agency, and just maybe the Mets will hire me now. C’mon, Bruhdee, I can catch. I mean, I think I can, how hard is it? Any hoo! The real piece is obviously Edwin Diaz, but I will get to him after the lede jump. Last year in a suspension-shortened season, Cano hit ten homers and .303. Too bad about that suspension since it tarnishes his legacy, which was previously “Guy who never hustles.” You got the title back, Machado! Until Cano doesn’t hit .280 and 20+ homers over the course of a full season, I will think he can. We haven’t reached that point in his life cycle yet. Of course, it could begin this year. We shall see! Or not. Your choice. I don’t have a ton of love for Cano in fantasy, because 20+ homers and counting stats can be had for cheaper. For 2019, I’ll give Robinson Cano projections of 84/24/92/.286/1 in 588 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It feels like just the other day the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in July, you screamed out, “Give it to me, Giancarlo!” and now you don’t have baseball or a girlfriend. C’mon, calendar, make like a soldier and turn to March. The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos. First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2018. It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2018. To paraphrase the one and only B-Real, “How do you know where you’re at, if you don’t know where you’ve been? Understand where I’m coming from?” It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players, then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. It’s cold hard math, y’all! Please, for the love that all is holy, don’t ask me if this is for next year. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2018 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Gary Sanchez went 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .184. As I’ve mentioned, I’m busy on the backend of the site doing year-end recaps for every position, and, yes, even the catchers, which will be released after the season ends. With that said, did good ol’ Gary have the worst season ever for a consensus number one at a position? Was it consensual? “Why ya gotta put the word sensual in consensual?” every man in 2018. By the by, was there a grabby hands discount coupon at GropeOn that I missed? Sanchez’s year makes Cervelli look like a first ballot Hall of Famer. And, if there’s ever a wing for concussions, I hope Cervelli’s CTE is one day in there. Sanchez might be the first person to ever achieve exactly half of his preseason projections. Even his batting average is about half of what was expected. For 2019, I could see him recovering, but I won’t be the one to draft him to find out. In other words, I’ll be bringing out major hedges with Sanchez, while drafting Austin Hedges. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
O Lourdes’, Yuli, give us the strength to win our final head-to-head match ups. Give us enough power to steal back those roto cats. Oh great and wise fantasy Lourdes…and Yuli, I know you can help us! Friday night baseball’s Gurriel brothers, Lourdes of the Blue Jays and Yuli of the Astros, each hit two home runs. You go, Gurriels! It was the first time in MLB history brothers had multi home run games on the same night or something, don’t quote me on that google it. Joe and Dom? Sandy and Roberto? So jelly right now! Sounds like a great STUMP trivia question in five years we’ll never remember the answer to. Honestly though, these are the kind of family-centric stories baseball needs right now! With these look-at-me showboating young guns and their home run trots, and their fortnite dances and their neon cleats and their racist tweets. They’re disrespecting the game! Anyway, Yuli Gurriel (3-for-4, 2 HR (12), 7 RBI) is likely already owned in most leagues you have any chance of winning at this point but little brother Lourdes Gurriel (3-for-4, 2 HR (11)) is still available in over 90% of leagues and he’s hitting .400 with three homers and seven RBI in the past week. Lourdes have mercy! more like it. What is your MI doing? If the Lourdes is doing better grab him while he’s hot! Dude’s got a brother in the big leagues–that’s called pedigree, my fake internet friends. Justin and Melvin Upton the ball is in your court. Wait is Melvin still in the league? Doesn’t matter. It’s not stopping Stephen and J.D., who I hear are already planning a comeback for the record! Only the good Lourdes can save us then.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Daydream Bieber is a homecoming KEEEEEEN-ing-ing-ing-iiiiing. If you could’ve heard that in my head, you’d be like, “Damn, Grey’s got some pipes!” I think I might be tone deaf. Is there anyway to know for sure? Because I hear myself and I sound fine, and then I hear Jennifer Hudson and I’m like, “I sound like her in my head.” Is that tone deaf? My dog, Ted, is colorblind. In other words, Ted doesn’t discriminate. Therefore, maybe tone deaf is the perfect set of ears because it doesn’t discriminate sounds. Also, do you think my dog translates everything I say into barks? I’m a curious person probably why I’m off the Mensa scale — or Womensa scale or non-binarysa scale. Any hoosies! Shane Bieber threw 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks yesterday and dazzled again, though some of those dazzlers were mixed in with frowny faces — sad-dazzlers? Sadazzlers? Frownedazzlers? Trapped myself into a portmanteau loop and there’s no way out! I’d use the Stream-o-Nator for his upcoming starts, but for 2019 there’s very little to be pessimistic about with Bieber. His 9.6 K/9, 1.7 BB/9 and 3.24 xFIP are things of beauty. If he can do that in 2019, Bieber could easily back himself into a top 40 starter season and a fantasy number three with flashes of two. I’m down for that even if there’s some frownedazzlers mixed in! Sadazzlers? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?