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Howdy, Razzballers! Thank you for another edition of Razzball’s Ambulance Chasers, your fantasy baseball injury report or analysis, or something along those lines depending on my mood. THIS WEEK, I am going to share some updates with you about some hurt guys. First, I want to share how much I have enjoyed seeing the Reds […]

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Sometime around the end of February, I contacted my Cards’ connection and they said Jordan Walker would break camp, and from that moment I donned my train conductor cap on the Jordan Walker hype train, grabbed the wheel (do trains have steering wheels?), put my foot on the gas (again, pedals?) and started screaming choo-choo-choo out the window (is it up to the conductor to say ‘choo-choo-choo?’) and went full speed ahead. Topping off the hype train sundae (clearly, I know a lot about trains), I drafted him this past weekend in Vegas at the Main Event with the minimal pick at 97. And it felt effin’ glorious!

Or as Kenny from Rotowear aptly captured:

This weekend we found out Jordan Walker did, indeed, make the Cards’ Opening Day lineup. You want this year’s Julio Rodriguez? It’s prolly Corbin Carroll. You want this year’s Bobby Witt Jr.? It’s maybe Corbin Carroll too. So, who is Jordan Walker? I’ve haven’t seen a guy like Jordan Walker since rookie Giancarlo Stanton. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on the Struggle Bus with inside pitches, and there’s some chance here that he’s nothing more than 25/10/.240, but the upside is, brucely, as big as he is.

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As Yogi Berra once famously put, “It’s like deja vu all over again.” Yogi also said, “Can you give my son, Dale, a job?” But no one ever talks about that Yogi-ism. This might be a first for me, we’re back with another Carlos Correa 2023 fantasy baseball outlook. This time, it’s for real. I think.

At the 11th hour, the Giants claimed Carlos Correa’s physical revealed an issue. What issue? Oh, just, ya know, something or other. Giants claimed it was from Correa’s time dating back…Dot dot dot. Pre-MLB. This is becoming more and more dubious. Are we going to get Correa’s origin story where he hurt his wrist on a garbage can in junior high, and vowed revenge against all garbage cans, planning to beat them? Giants are the ones with the injury, they got cold feet! Got ‘em! Honestly, would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall for the Giants’ front office convo:

“13 years? This is nuts, can we back out?”
“Sure, we’ll say we found something on his physical.”
“We’re the team that signed Mitch Haniger, and we’re backing out due to an injury risk?”

So, enter stage right: MLB’s own Montgomery Burns, the Mets’ Steve Cohen. “Mr. Cohen, are you sure you want to give Correa $300 million-plus over 12 years? It’s going to cut into your formaldehyde shark money.” That’s Cohen’s financial advisor. 

Carlos Correa goes to the 1927 Mets. They’re more stacked than pancakes at IHOP. They’re so stacked Eduardo Escobar won’t even be a regular. Okay, he’s not exactly Howard Johnson, the player, not the motel, but I’m having a hard time imagining a team where he’s not an everyday starter. Maybe the Phillies once Bryce returns. Any hoo! It’s a great lineup, and Correa no longer looks like a diamond in a lineup of zirconia. Metco won’t help Correa; he couldn’t hit 27+ homers with the Crawford Boxes, so he’s not a great bet to do it now. He only once cleared 150 games too. The lineup with his on-base skills will be the biggest net positives. Still think he’s overrated for fantasy, and this isn’t going to help that. For 2023, I’ll give Carlos Correa projections of 104/25/83/.283/2 in 558 ABs. Giants fans, try not to think about the Mets too much, and just enjoy all those Wilmer Flores and J.D. Davis at-bats. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in fantasy baseball:

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Happy Saturday, Razzball Folks! The All-Star break is upon us, and we have a record low number of bodies that have hit the floor due to injury. However, we have a record number of folks on the IL because of COVID-19 in the “vaccine avoidance” category. Specifically, the Kansas City Royals have 10 unvaccinated players, […]

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This weekend Wander Franco hit the IL, and will see a doctor on Monday for his wrist and hamate bone and I want to die. Put me in a grave, shovel dirt on my head, and say your farewells. To be less histrionic and more just that down-home Grey that you’ve come to know and love, I want my woobie! Here’s Kenneth Cashman, the man behind Rotowear, mocking me:

Okay, Wander Franco was barely a top 250th overall player this year on the Player Rater, so, while I expected more, if you’ve survived this long with (aka without) him, you’ll be fine moving forward. I have faith in youse, my large adult sons, and five adult daughters. Taking his place will be Jonathan Aranda, who was recalled. I will say this about Rays prospects, they roll right off the fingertips. Aranadaadadadadadadada, McClanahananananananananananan…Though Lowe’s a hard stop. Aranada was tearing up Triple-A. Hey, kinda like Brujan! And Josh Lowe! And literally every Rays prospect who comes up and fizzles. Aranda is a decent power guy with a solid hit tool. Think a young France. Call him Tintin. In most leagues, you can prolly find better guys on waivers. Now, get lost while I try to cure my Wander lust. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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You ever go into Spencer’s Gifts and ask where the whoopie cushions are then, when shown, say, “No, the ones with the really wet farts?” Ah, I guess we’re built different. I did used to keep myself up at night wondering about the people in Taiwan who would work at the fake vomit factory all day, then go home and tell their loved ones, “No dinner tonight, I lost my appetite.” Just brutally sad. Where’s those peoples’ documentary on Netflix?! Huh?! Any hoo! Spencer Strider (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.60) is fantastic, and I’m not just talking about his mustache. Well, I am, but it’s more than that. His last three starts: 18 IP, 8 hits, 1 run, 3 walks, 30 Ks and a beautiful mustache! How long do we have to wait until this guy turns into Touki Toussaint?! The truly remarkable thing, his peripherals are even purdier than his surface numbers — 14 K/9, 3.4 BB/9, 2.42 xFIP. He’s got a 2.60 ERA, and he’s being unlucky! Mah gawd, Mr. Man Stache! And they say you have to draft starters early. Sure thing, clean-shaven faces. Whatever you say. Anyway. here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Hey, what’s up, I’m Grey Albright, a big, big fan of the Kansas City Royals. Born and bred in the Kay Cee — blue fo’eva! I only eat turtle, and by ‘turtle’ I mean meat that is slow and low. When someone mentions Chisholm, I think jazz should be more improvisational and lowercase. I like my Dons named Denkinger and my Steves named Balboni. I was born into a powdered blue blanket and I still use it for rallies. A born and blue Royals man! As of this past Saturday. So, I took part in the LABR, 12-team, mixed auction this past weekend and I built a team revolving around two big Royals players, because I have a screw loose, and I cannot not NOT not love me some upside. Unlike most of my ‘pert league recaps, this might actually help youse because it’s a shallower league. Besides being an auction and two catcher, it’s very similar to our RCL leagues (spots available to take on me and all of your worst frenemies, and win prizes; it’s free — sign up for a Razzball Commenter League under that linkie-ma-whosie.) Anyway, here’s my LABR 12-team, mixed league draft recap:

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In honor of the MLB lockout, I walked into a Starbucks, wearing a full baseball uniform, with stirrups, and ordered one of those 45-ingredient drinks that all the baristas hate to make, then said my name was Rob Manfred, and started screaming, “Don’t tell anyone the MLB Commissioner was in here! Do you hear me?! Don’t you dare tell anyone! Don’t call TMZ and send them the video you’re taking of me right now! Don’t you dare tell them Rob Manfred, MLB Commissioner, didn’t tip you either! That’s HIPA, so don’t you dare tell everyone any of that!” Then I stepped out of the store with my $37-dollar unicorn Frappuccino, took a big sip and realized they prolly spit in it. So, me and a bunch of Razzball commenters got together and took part in an NFBC Draft. I’m down to start another draft too, if there’s demand. Just ping the comments with a note that says something like, “Didn’t I see you in a Starbucks ordering a unicorn frappe?” I’ll make signups for the draft available on our Patreon first. For this draft, I used my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings (dur) and so did others, which screwed me real good, especially when someone drafted Steven Kwan like 150 picks before his ADP. You know who you are! This left me with a total shizzshow of an outfield, so that’s fun! Well, we’ll leave something for the recap, shall we? Yes, we shall! Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap; it’s a 15-team, two-catcher, draft and hold league that goes 50 rounds and has no waivers:

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Are the top 20 1st basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball good? How do you define good? Is good definable? Are you Plato? What is a Plato? Any hoo! This post goes on for about 1.8 million words, so let’s dive in. Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. The projections noted in this post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

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