Jordan Yamamoto (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 0.00) is the 1st pitcher to begin a career with back-to-back outings of 7+ scoreless while allowing three or fewer hits in the modern era. The modern era meaning from 1908, not from 2017 until now when baseballs were filled with helium, which caused Party City stores to close nationwide. This is exactly what everyone expected when the Marlins called up an 89-MPH fastball that was flame-retardant. “How fast does he throw?” A scout recently said to another scout who was holding a speed gun. “I’ll tell you when the ball passes the plate.” The scout sticks chew in his mouth, scratches his sweaty armpit, then, finally, “89-ish? Maybe. I might’ve just been taking a reading of that bird that flew overhead.” This goes back to my recently prophesied conspiracy theory that I introduced the other day regarding Zack Greinke. When everyone is throwing fast, it actually keeps hitters off-balance to throw slow. The Slow Pitch Theorized Conspiracy for Hardball (SPITCH) is fully realized now that it has an acronym. If you’re willing to gamble a bit, I could see grabbing Yamamoto in any league to see if he can keep it going. This could also hurt Zac Gallen’s chances of a promotion, and I don’t know who gets bumped for Caleb Smith. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Welington Castillo to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Chris Archer (6 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.73) allowed four homers to the first five hitters he faced in the 2nd inning. The only way things could look worse for Chris Archer and, specifically the Pirates, is if Austin Meadows hit all four homers wearing different colored sombreros. “Hola! I am Austin Prairieritto!” “Hola! I am Tijuana Meadows!” “Hola! I am Roberto Hernandez!” “Hola! Imagine my exclamation marks are in the front of my sentences but upside down!” Okay, I’m Daffy like a duck talking about a Spanish Meadows when it was the Braves who mollywhopped Archer. A Spanish Robert Loggia, “Archer is a pitcher that don’t throw straight.” As I said yesterday, it’s not whether the record of four straight hitters with a home run is going to fall this year, it’s only how soon and with how many homers total. 8 straight hitters with a homer? 9? 12? Yesterday, Brian McCann (2-for-4, 4 RBIs) hit his 4th and 5th homer, going Yardo Montalban hitting them where da plane da plane goes. Josh Donaldson (1-for-4) hit his 9th homer, managing to control his Hulk-smash anger until the appropriate time — at the DMV. Nick Markakis (1-for-2, 2 runs) hit his 6th homer for his 2nd Sparkakis in two days, and Ozzie Albies (1-for-3, hitting .270) hit his 10th homer, 3rd in two games. ProContractsAreWhatWeKnow dot com said Albies earned $17.87 between homers. Albies looks like he’s come out of his May funk, but he still has no place to move up in the lineup. Well, maybe he can replace Austin Riley, whose average has dropped eighty points in a week. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Handed down through the generations from Hammurabi to Hammurabi was a code of SAGNOF. It read, “Yo, Hamm-whaaaaaazzzzzup-be?! Don’t pay for saves, dem shizzes are free on waivers.” It read a bit like a text message, tee bee aitch. But that was the code as written. Cut to 14,000 years later, and I received this code in a dream after ingesting a massive amount of peyote. I would’ve discarded it like the iguana I also received, but there was something to this code, and from that day forward I forbade myself from paying a lot for saves. Then March came and Craig Kimbrel was falling and I was like, “Ain’t ever gonna get a price like this again!” and drafted him, and not listening to Hamm-whaaaaaazzzzzup-be really effed me. Thankfully, my long national nightmare is over and Craig Kimbrel signed with the Cubs. Does this negate all the leagues where I have Pedro Strop? *Lisa Simpson grumble* Yes, appizzarently, it does. I’d imagine Kimbrel will need at least two to three weeks of minor league games to get up to snuff, but closers can get stretched quicker than starters, obvi. I wouldn’t drop Strop until I saw a Kimbrel save, but he’s coming back. Finally. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, the Indians called up Oscar Mercado, after a hilarious bit where they phoned their Triple-A team and asked to speak to Oscar and they were met with, “The Oscar Mercado called and said they’re out of you!” The Indians have now cornered the mercado on Oscars like Meryl Streep. Mercado has speed to burn. He is so fast he just ran into your room, mussed your hair and ran back out before you even had a chance to flinch, which is great because you’re secretly being filmed for the new Netflix game show, Flinch. Mercado had one season in the minors with 50 steals. I just became aroused like Lorenzo Lamas after he sees himself in the mirror. Prospect Mike said of him, “Mercado came to Cleveland from St. Louis at last year’s trade deadline in a move that probably slipped under everybody’s radar. He had a crazy good season in Triple-A though, hitting .278 with eight homers and 37 steals. Caveat: Grey is dumb.” What? That’s not a caveat. I grabbed Mercado in a few leagues, because I could use steals, and, brucely, who doesn’t need steals? Not to answer, but bat your eyelashes and look pretty. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t actually have much to say today before getting to the picks, in large part because this FanDuel slate doesn’t really seem that attractive. I won’t ever tell my loyal readers not to play on a certain day, but today’s slate is definitely one of the more unappealing ones I’ve seen in a while. There’s a blatant chalk pitcher and there aren’t that many offenses in particularly juicy spots. There’s also not that many value guys. It’s not so much a “bad” slate, it’s just a boring and unattractive slate. But I know people will want to play, so like any good professional, I will do my job and break it down for you guys. Also, don’t leave Damian Lillard open from 37 feet with your season on the line.
On to the picks…
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Due to the light schedule, let’s drill down on Cody Bellinger (2-for-4 and his 10th homer, hitting .432). If man love bothers you, perhaps you should shield your eyes. This could become naughty, and, yes, I need to remove my pants to write the rest of this. Cody is 2 1/2 home runs from being halfway to last year’s homer total. How does one hit a 1/2 of a home run? You hit it out of the park, then pimp with a bat flip so long you get tackled rounding 2nd. Right now, Bellinger’s HR/FB% is absurd. He’s not even hitting that many fly balls. It’s just everything he touches goes bim-bam-zoom to the moon. Can that continue, you ask with your doe eyes and soft lips. You drafted Goodrum on too many teams, because you sound drunk. Of course, it won’t continue. His launch angle last year, when he hit 25 homers, was 16 degrees. This year it’s 13. He is hitting the ball damn hard, though. He’s third in the majors with 96 MPH average exit velocity. I’d be shocked if he hits less than 35 homers, but I also don’t think he’s going to hit more than his career high of 39 homers, if his fly ball rate holds. His strikeout rate has absolutely cratered, in a good way, but, of course, when a guy is hitting well, he’s not striking out. He will go cold, turkey, and cold turkey on power at some point. It’s early, yadda-blabbity-bloo, so don’t panic sell. He’s now a legit top 15 bat vs. the top 40 one we thought he might be in the preseason. Now, I will put back on my linen Tommy Bahama pants and continue. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Christian Yelich hit his 6th homer and his…wait for it….here it comes…where’d it go…did I leave it in the car…no, it’s right here under my ass…and his 7th homer and his…crap, this one is in the car, isn’t it…nope, under the other cheek…and his 8th homer! Add in 7 RBIs and he’s hitting a zillion. Can we just crown him with back-to-back MVPs and sneak him into Ariana Grande’s room already? After he wins his 2nd straight MVP, there will still (!!!) be someone next March who is saying something like, “Grey, you are wildly handsome, but I just don’t trust Yelich. Can you talk me into him?” Which they will say right after I’ve written 1,200 words on Yelich. Doode is a beast who powers the Milwakuee’s Best. Don’t funk up my jam! Which is what Mr. Smuckers says to his wife when she messes up his DVR recordings of The Voice. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2019 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that years ago. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2019 projections. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2019 fantasy baseball. Now, guys and five girl readers, I am not saying avoid catchers like Yasmani Grandal if they fall, but to get on this list, you need to be drafted later than 200 overall, and, to preemptively answer at least seven comments, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, darkness, my old friend. But replace ‘darkness’ with ‘catchers’ and ‘my old friend’ with ‘we have to get through this to get further into our 2019 fantasy baseball rankings.’ Hmm…Then replace ‘our 2019 fantasy baseball rankings’ with ‘my 2019 fantasy baseball rankings,’ then replace ‘with’ with ‘wit’ to millennialify it, then replace every third ‘replace’ with ‘in place of’ to diversify word choice because my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. Pinatauro, said we shouldn’t repeat words–Actually, she can eat it! After going over the top 10 for 2019 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2019 fantasy baseball (clickbait!), we are now in the positional rankings, and all 2019 fantasy baseball rankings can be found there. Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. The projections noted in the post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop. I also mention a bunch of hullabaloo, so let’s get to it. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The rich keep getting richer and the poor get poorer. The middle is being squeezed. When I Google, “What happened to the middle class?” I found some socioeconomic theories on Yahoo Answers, and ads to get rich quick and stop having to “steal food from Whole Foods.” Okay, I have no idea how they know about that, but, if you switch a price tag, it is not exactly stealing. It’s redistributing “gummies made with real fruit juice.” All of this is fascinating and all, but I was trying to find out what is happening to the middle class of starters! Aaron Nola (8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks) and Max Scherzer (7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks) faced each other, and both pitchers have ERAs of 2.13. Not surprisingly, the police code for fantastic use of arms is 2.13. Again, there’s top starters with a sub-3 ERA, and there is a ton of starters above 4.00 ERA that I don’t want, but where are the 3.50 ERA pitchers? Doesn’t it feel like this middle class of pitchers has shrunk? *coming across something on the internet* Hmm, maybe this article by a Harvard professor in The Economist will explain it to me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?