Jordan Yamamoto (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 0.00) is the 1st pitcher to begin a career with back-to-back outings of 7+ scoreless while allowing three or fewer hits in the modern era.  The modern era meaning from 1908, not from 2017 until now when baseballs were filled with helium, which caused Party City stores to close nationwide.  This is exactly what everyone expected when the Marlins called up an 89-MPH fastball that was flame-retardant.  “How fast does he throw?”  A scout recently said to another scout who was holding a speed gun.  “I’ll tell you when the ball passes the plate.”  The scout sticks chew in his mouth, scratches his sweaty armpit, then, finally, “89-ish?  Maybe.  I might’ve just been taking a reading of that bird that flew overhead.”  This goes back to my recently prophesied conspiracy theory that I introduced the other day regarding Zack Greinke.  When everyone is throwing fast, it actually keeps hitters off-balance to throw slow.  The Slow Pitch Theorized Conspiracy for Hardball (SPITCH) is fully realized now that it has an acronym.  If you’re willing to gamble a bit, I could see grabbing Yamamoto in any league to see if he can keep it going. This could also hurt Zac Gallen’s chances of a promotion, and I don’t know who gets bumped for Caleb Smith.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Max Scherzer – Broke his nose attempting to bunt in batting practice. Ugliest nose related news for a pitcher since Jon Niese. The Nats are crushing the previous record of IL days caused from bunts. Maybe Scherzer will wear a protective facial shield and go by Mad Mask.  It’s done all the time in the Mexican Leagues.

Welington Castillo – Hit the IL with a strained oblique.  Ah, now it makes sense why Zack Collins was called up.  Was starting to think the White Sox were as dumb as the Rockies.  The White Sockies?

Eloy Jimenez – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer.  This was his 1st home run in Wrigley.  Sadly, for Cubs fans, he hasn’t hit 11 of his other homers on the road.

Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-4 and his 16th homer, and 5th homer in the last ten games.  Schwarber’s been out of Coors for five games, but he’s still ridin’ the Silver Bullet.

Cole Hamels – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.85.  This is anecdotal mumbo jumbo, but doesn’t it seem like the only pitchers who are not getting rocked this year are vet pitchers who know ‘how’ to pitch?

Willie Calhoun – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .367 (in 30 at-bats).  I’ve talked about owning Calhoun on and off for the better part of two decades (it feels like it), and I think this is the 1st time he’s ever done anything while on one of my teams.  It’s a brand new day, Sting!  (I’m saying that to my desk picture of the wrestler, Sting.)

Rougned Odor – 1-for-4 and his 9th homer, hitting .178.  I wish someone would get Odor drunk and put a Jose Bautista mask on his face so he wakes up and punches himself.

Jose Ramirez – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .204.  Also, in this game, Roberto Perez went 1-for-5, as he hits .238, and he hit his 12th homer.  I mention both of them, because whenever Jo-Ram’s owners see him, they’re reaching for the Ro-Pe.

Oscar Mercado – 2-for-5, 3 runs and his 5th and 6th steal, and now has four steals in four games, and he’s hitting .308.  I don’t know either what you’re waiting for.

Jake Bauers – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 9th homer, hitting .236.  He was mentioned yesterday on the podcast as a guy I’m watching closely as a potential breakout for 2020, so now I’ve just totally jinxed him.

Zach Plesac – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners (5 BBs), 6 Ks, ERA at 2.56.  Fun fact!  His last name doubles as someone politely asking him to do them a favor.  Also, five walks scares me and makes my Plesac shrivel like I’m in a cold pool, but the Streamonator loves his next start.

Josh Bell – 1-for-5 and his 20th homer, hitting .319. Has definitely come down to earth like Andrelton Simmons’s family during the holidays, but Bell’s May (.390, 12 HRs) was never sustainable.  Now we find out if his April is sustainable (6 HRs, .289).

Michael Lorenzen – 1 IP, 0 ER, and his 4th save and 2nd save in two days, as Raisel worked the 8th for the 2nd day in a row.  Damn, Raisel really must’ve pissed off David Bell.  Bell does seem like he needs a stress test from a good cardiologist the way he gets thrown out of every other game. This is what happens when you question the manager, Raisel, especially when they’re as hotheaded as Bell.  He is so hotheaded, Raisel said that nonsense about him not liking how he was being used a month ago and Bell must’ve been stewing this whole time.  Either way, I grabbed Lorenzen where he was available.

Anthony DeSclafani – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.22.  Of course, he did this on my bench because he was facing the gee-dee Astros.  Sonavabench!

Derek Dietrich – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting .235. This was only his 2nd hit in a week.  Almost as long as one of his home run trots.

Jesse Winker – 1-for-4 and his 12th homer, and 2nd homer in three games.  He could be flirting with a hot streak.  Or maybe he’s just a Winker.

Jose Altuve – Due back from the IL today.  Insider scoop alert!  Our very own Rudy Gamble was at the Round Rock game on Monday and said Altuve looked rusty.  Happens when you’re below sea level with nowhere to oxidize.

Brandon Nimmo – Shut down completely from baseball activities.  However, Dr. Met said Nimmo is progressing as well as Jed Lowrie, so that’s good news.

Pete Alonso – 4-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 24th homer.  Like all great Razzball legends before him, Pete Alonso needs a nickname.  I’m partial to the Eggplant Emoji in Human Form, because he’s so sexy, but I’m open to suggestions.  Please comment below if you have any.

Michael Conforto – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. He was so overdue he was about to give birth to a kindergartner.

Jacob deGrom – 8 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.26.  He won his 4th game.  That’s over three years.  (I kid, but barely.)

Jeff McNeil – 3-for-5, 3 runs and a slam (4) and legs (1), hitting .333.  Much respect to McNeil. I like him, and I know his game isn’t power or speed, but you have to be really committed to the game plan to only have four homers in today’s game.

Julio Teheran – 4 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.40.  The Regression Fairies went in on Teheran, risking their own heads if anyone found out they were the Regression Fairies, and not who they were posing as, just some good ol’ boys talking about Melrose Place reruns.

Josh Donaldson – 2-for-4 and his 13th homer.  Over/under for his 1st injury this year: 17 homers.

Rafael Devers – 3-for-8, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, and 2nd homer in three games.  Maybe he could discreetly sneeze on Benintendi to get him going. “You’re Patient Zero, Devers! We need your phlegm!”  That’s me as a mad scientist.

Mookie Betts – 1-for-6, 2 runs and a slam (12) and legs (8).  Mookie Ballgame and 8/9ths of another ballgame!

David Price – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.39 vs. Michael Pineda – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.76.  I was watching this game to see if Price was back after his abomination of a last start, and I ended up coming away with a hankering to take a whack at a piñata.

Byron Buxton – Hit the IL with a wrist contusion. Hopefully he’s fine, and not getting bogged down by all my 2020 hopes and dreams riding on him.  Jake Cave was called up.  At this point, I’m wait-and-seeing with Cave, but Plato’s voicing old sleeper thoughts of Cave.

Khris Davis – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer. Also, in this game, Robbie Grossman (1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 5th homer saying, “The Orioles’ pitching is what’s gross, man!”  Stephen Piscotty (1-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 9th, firing back, “I don’t know,” and Ramon Laureano (4-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 11th homer, remaining Ramon Schmotato.

Brett Anderson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.68.  I’d start any pitcher in Oaktown vs. the Orioles, even B.A. Brokeass.

Jonathan Villar – 1-for-3 and his 8th homer, hitting .246. Member in the preseason Villar was the most overhyped sleeper?  Well, so far he’s got the sleeping part down.

Nolan Arenado – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer.  Wow, I can’t believe I just stumbled on the nuclear codes.  These should be kept in a safe place, which makes it odd I’m going to leave them by this open window–NOOOO!!! Torenado!

Merrill Kelly – 6 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.99.  Sure am glad I started him.  Yup, sure am glad *sees Stop sign but eyes go cross*  Cool, a Pots sign.

Logan Allen – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks in his 1st start.  It’s easier to pitch in the major leagues than the minors leagues.  Don’t wanna hear different, it just is.  Watching Logan Allen, I had visions of donning a cowboy hat every fifth day and going yee-haw’ing with Chris Paddack. Sigh. Come back, you country music superstar-turned-pitcher! I don’t know if this is a spot start or what for Allen, and I went over him last time, so you can click his name and read about it. He could be worth owning, hard to say where his next start is.

Francisco Mejia – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer as he was recalled.  The recalling went like this, “Hey, Austin Hedges sucks, if only we had another catcher…Wait a minute, we do!”  Definitely cyclops’ing Mejia to see if he gets ABs.

Adalberto Mondesi – 1-for-3, 1 run and his 27th steal, but left with what might’ve been a tweaked groin.  Okay, guys and five girls, we need to form a prayer octagon and tightly shut our eyes and think good thoughts about Mondesi’s groin.

Jorge Soler – 1-for-4 and his 20th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games, and third homer in four games and 20th homer in 72 games and oh em gee, Rudy called this one. Should’ve drafted Soler in every league.

Whit Merrifield – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 6 RBIs and his 9th and 10th homer, hitting .306.  Fun fact!  Merrifield is what two former, punch drunk boxers think their last name is.  “I’m Merrifield!”  “Nah, man, you’re Holyweather!”  That’s a boxing reunion show being taped.

Yusei Kikuchi – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.15.  Fool me once, shame on Donkey Teeth. Fool me twice, still shame on Donkey Teeth, but I’m not getting fooled again.  This is it for me and Kikuchi.

Joc Pederson – 1-for-3 and his 19th homer.  All right, prepare the landing gear for six days from now, as Pederson lights up the sky with bombs for the next week.

Kole Calhoun – 1-for-4 and his 16th homer and 2nd homer in as many games.  Damn, I went with the Grichuk narrative yesterday of him hitting home runs in bunches but Calhoun likes them in bunches as much as Mr. Chiquita Banana.  Hot schmotato alert!

Tyler Skaggs – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.61.  I’ll admit to be being immediately interested in Skaggs after only one good game in his last *counting* Eight starts?  Okay, I’d like to see a bit more, and the Streamonator doesn’t love his next start.

Ken Giles – Will face hitters on Wednesday.  Jays said Giles is feeling great and please trade for him.

Justin Smoak – Hit the IL with a quad injury.  Jays said, “Just keeping him fresh for his trade with Giles to the Rays.”

Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – 1-for-3 and his 8th homer, hitting .276, has 18 homers in the last nine games (actually, 4).  No one will pick him up, so Lourdes of the underground will stay underground!  Boom chaka lacka there goes the chief rocka!

Travis d’Arnaud – 2-for-5, 1 RBI as he led off.  Teams think just because the Mets gave up on someone it makes them great.  Teams could be right.

Cameron Maybin – 3-for-4, 2 runs and his 5th homer, hitting .315, and has four homers in four straight games.  It would be so classic 2019 if Maybin was the one to finally beat Mattingly/Griffey Jr. and Dale Long’s record 8-straight home run games.  Only thing that would be more 2019 is if Maybin broke the record, then announced he was running for the Democratic nomination.

Luis Severino – Hopes to start throwing on June 25th or 26th.  His timetable sounds like when I use Amazon Prime.  For what it’s Werth, he’ll need a week of bullpen sessions, a week of simulated games, two weeks of checking my Ring doorbell alerts — wait, that’s Amazon again — then a minor league assignment, so Severino, barring setbacks (!) is still a month away, at least.

Giancarlo Stanton – 0-for-4 as he was activated from the IL.  I’m just going to remove my pants and sit in this beanbag I’ve pasted Giancarlo’s face onto and let my ‘husband’ envelop me.  You know you can’t spell envelop without “elope NV,” which is why I’m sitting in this beanbag outside a courthouse in Vegas.  Giancarlo, you big sexy lump of love, welcome back!  Now hit 45 homers in three-plus months.

 
  1. BadFantasyManager says:
    (link)

    I seem to destroy every pitcher I pick.

    – I drafted Marquez, Wheeler, Happ and they are not doing as well, especially Happ.

    – I drafted Pivetta and we know how he began… drop him and now he is pitching well…

    – I had Lyles and Caleb Smith and they both got injured…

    – I had Eflin and dropped him because the peripherals were ugly and had a couple of outings that seemed like the end of his good run… he has had a couple of complete games since then

    – I’ve been streaming the last few weeks and every pitcher I stream seems to do horrible. This time was Kikuchi.

    Sorry for the long post but this is the only place where people will understand why I’ve been depressed the last few weeks.

    • galica says:
      (link)

      BFM!

      Sign up for streamonator (24.99$ for the 250 days of the season). Best investment you will ever make. It has value of course immediately for your fantasy teams also long term for betting on MLB outcomes. Very good predictor of how pitching lines will hash out.

      Cheers,
      Ante

      • Carles says:
        (link)

        Best investment you will ever make? Okay Trump! Loll

      • Consuelos says:
        (link)

        I’m not sure if encouraging a nasty habit is the best idea in the world, but as far as pitching just make sure you aren’t streaming someone unless you see they are consistently pitching well. If you see they are prone to blow-ups, don’t stream them…maybe wait until a pitcher throws 2-3 solid games before considering streaming?

        Good luck the rest of the season!

      • Chocolate says:
        (link)

        You have a little something on your nose there…

    • Dushku says:
      (link)

      It’s just some bad luck man…don’t worry about it it will pass

    • The Scrant Dog

      The Scrant Dog says:
      (link)

      IF it makes you feel any better. I’m in last place with the following line up

      Garver
      Hoskins
      J. Baez
      Turner
      Mondesi
      Soto
      Puig
      E. Rosario
      Meadows
      J. Polonca

      It doesn’t make sense.

      • Phil says:
        (link)

        What kind of league are you in, and what are the settings? Is it head-to-head? Are your pitchers horrible and pitching categories are more valuable than hitting? Because, you’re right, it doesn’t make sense.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Finally, the reason why all of my teams are being destroyed! What did you do to us, BFM?

    • Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
      (link)

      Stay away from Ryu!

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        HA

  2. mharb03 says:
    (link)

    How would you rank Vogelbach, Soler and Renfroe? Not an OBP league, so Vogelbach’s very nice BB% is a bit less meaningful to me.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Soler, Renfroe

  3. Lil Petey says:
    (link)

    Rest of season, you prefer Eloy or Yordan Alvarez?

    Eloy seems to be finding his stroke, Yordan arrived with his stroke in tow. Is Houston’s roster situation with players due to return from injury the main factor that differentiates them ROS or am I making a mistake in equating them that close?

    “Mighty Meaty Petey” is my offering for an Alonso nickname (the antithesis of my handle).

    Love reading each day Grey. Thank you for what you do.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
      (link)

      Eloy for me

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha, I like that — Mighty Meaty Petey — rolls right off the tongue!

      Agree with DT

  4. Manley Ramirez says:
    (link)

    Petey All Longs

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha, that’s solid too

  5. galica says:
    (link)

    Grey!!!

    Very nice report, like the first time I tried cotton candy on Staten Island.

    a. I disagree with your vets like Hamels knowing ‘how’ to pitch. Lester tonight will show me the reasons why. Well, he has already debunked your theory by pitching badly in some starts this year.

    b. Re-signed Bauers (of course after he hit for the cycle) after I dropped him initially after I had drafted him. Another guy I drafted, dropped and picked up=Escobar so am hoping that my initial instincts were correct on Bauers and that now he kicks ass. Possible, right? Well as Sherlock Holmes would say, if you eliminate what is not possible you are left with what is possible so using Holmes logic Bauers will be successful. Grey? You there?

    c. How about Peter The Great Alonso. Actually, Czar Peter The Great wasn’t that great, he was known for building a lot of stuff during his reign so they said of him wow he must be great and the name stuck. So, I guess not on the name huh?

    d. After the dust has settled on this Big Papi hit for only 7800$ (400000 DR Pesos), I was wondering what would I be worth on the open Dominican Republic market. choose wisely young Padawan…

    1. 11.76 $ (600 DR Pesos)
    2. 300$ (15000 DR Pesos)

    There is no ‘c’ but the price of human life has taken a hit recently due to the sad state of the economy, right?

    e. The story surrounding the hit on Big Papi gets funnier and funnier as more and more information is revealed. The funniest part and I’ve been to DR so I know how much he is revered….The guy who hired the hit had to send a picture to the hitman so that he would know what Big Papi looks like!!! Trust me, there is no native of DR who doesn’t know exactly where Big Papi is and what Big Papi looks like. When I was in Punta Cana for Christmas/New Year’s 2016/7 everyone knew Big Papi was in his hotel in Cap Cana. EVERYONE including the bell hop who makes 2$ an hour and the 70-year old blind cleaning lady.

    f. Start either of the following pitchers? I’m first in hitting with 52.5 and 11th in pitching with 15 points. So no pressure but I have to bust a move in pitching.

    1. Heaney at Toronto (Aaron Sanchez)
    2. Giolito at Wrigley (Jon Lester)

    SON like Heaney’s start (14.7$) and gave Giolito his second poor score. This time -1.3$. I tempted the fates last time out (0.4$) and got the win with Giolito despite the fact he gave up 4 BBs and 4 hits in 6 INN. That could have went sideways.

    I need help in every category, though ERA is bad across the entire league as compared to the stellar ERAs I saw last year. To wit, last year top ERAs at this time were nearer to 2 but this year’s top is 3.3 or something so my 4.32 team ERA (which is last) could make some recovery. WHIP also is not stellar this year compared to last.

    g. Abbott and Costello quote of the day for June 19

    In Society, scene 3

    Mr Van Cleve: I beg your pardon? Are you the plumbers from Atlas?

    Eddie (Abbott): I’m the plumber. He’s my helper, but no help. Where’s the trouble?

    Mr Van Cleve: Walk this way.

    Eddie (Abbott): [To Albert (Costello)] Walk this way.

    [So of course Costello walks the way of Mr Van Cleve with his nose in the air and some swag in his step.]

    Peter Evans (Kirby Grant): Good evening, sir.

    The doorman: How are you?

    Marion Hutton (Elsie): Wait a minute. You can’t go in there. That’s a private party.

    Peter Evans (Kirby Grant): What about it?

    Marion Hutton (Elsie): Well, they’ll throw you out.

    Peter Evans (Kirby Grant): They didn’t throw you out.

    Marion Hutton (Elsie): No, they’ve been very nice about letting me sit here.

    Peter Evans (Kirby Grant): They should. You add a lot of glamour to this little clambake.

    Marion Hutton (Elsie): That’s a fine way for a cabbie to talk.

    Peter Evans (Kirby Grant): – When you get in costume, you really work at it.

    Marion Hutton (Elsie): – Of course. Say, I thought I knew all the cab drivers around here. Who are you?

    Peter Evans (Kirby Grant): Peter Evans.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      A. You jinxed him! Or was it a reverse jinx?

      B. Hopefully, but I have some doubts about him vs. righties

      C. Meh

      D. Can’t put a price on that… Not saying priceless, I mean I can’t tell you how much, have you tried pricing yourself on eBay?

      E. It is crazy

      F. I’d start both, that order

      G. Nice

  6. Harry J says:
    (link)

    Should there be any concern about Garrett Cooper’s low launch angle, low FB%, high HR/FB%, and high BABIP?

    It seems they point to regression.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, if he cost anything to own, he’s a free agent grab, don’t drop anyone too great for him

  7. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    we can chinese auction this one (i.e. somebody either takes a side on your 17 HR till DL line or makes up their own line, this continues till somebody takes a side then there is an actual bet)

    anywhoo, my line is 18.5.

    • 2ndCitySox says:
      (link)

      Pete Alonso : Magnum P.A.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        That’s solid!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      That’s a solid line

  8. Bobby says:
    (link)

    Nickname for Pete, Alonso Rbiero, pronounced Ribby hero.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Alonso RBIero? Haha, nice… That’s solid too, lot of good ones today

  9. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    for saves and holds sold separately AL only which of these: wittgren, c.martin, hendricks (seemingly ahead of the putting challenge for now). i own wittgren, barnes, buttrey and barnes already. wittgren is better by FIP than the others available, but maybe martin has better shot at saves, and i have no closers really (they are really good pitchers though on skills). i went barnes in draft first, then got sniped to brasier, but that actually worked out well since i got pressly right after that.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
      (link)

      I’d probably go Hendriks over Wittgren but its a crap shoot between those two and Martin…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Agree with DT

  10. Shill Team 6 says:
    (link)

    Pepe Longshow
    Papi ala Dongshow

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Meh

  11. Mike says:
    (link)

    Safe to drop darvish? I don’t want to but no one is biting on offers I make with him. About to accept a trade for Charlie Morton for my Segura. So my pitching would improve.

    • Tony C says:
      (link)

      I would not dropped darvish for nothing. He’s pitching much better in the last month than he has all season. I realize that’s not saying a whole lot but he’s been effective in the past 30 days and there’s upside to his game as he pitches for a contender.

    • Dont drop yet says:
      (link)

      Darvish

      Last 3o days
      4 era, .117 whip with a 9 K/9

      He is actually coming around.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
      (link)

      Eh I think he should be owned in most every format right now. Who are you dropping him for?

      I like the Morton trade for you.

      • Mike says:
        (link)

        More or less it was to free up a roster spot. I’ve got gallen stashed, but I’m not seeing his call up anytime soon so I may dump him instead.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Agree with DT

  12. Matt says:
    (link)

    Drop R. Iglesias for Lorenzen straight up?

    Is there a website that shows all players injury history and trips to the IL?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
      (link)

      Hold