The Rangers traded Delino DeShields Jr. and Emmanuel Clase for Corey Kluber. Finally, someone that likes Delino DeShields Jr. as much as me! Indians tried to not compete last year, but at first you don’t succeed in not succeeding, don’t try, don’t try again. Cannot wait to see what the Indians get for Francisco Lindor. Maybe Clint Frazier and a bucket of balls gets it done. You’d think Indians would be against trying to tank, being more team that wants its horse in the race, but, wow, MLB is completely broken. Teams that should and can be good are going out of their way to tank. I saw someone (think it was a Cleveland-area radio sports show host) say something like, “Indians can’t afford these players so this is their only option.” Yo, the Indians owner, Dolan family, is worth $6.5 billion, according to Forbes. That’s not according to their bank, because you can’t count that much money in a lifetime. If the Dolans can’t afford a $25 million dollar per year contract, then who can? Bezos? Does Amazon need to buy all MLB teams? Can we get Jack Ryan day at the park? That might be fun. This isn’t even about whether Kluber is broken for good either, because his salary ($17.5 mill) should be affordable for any team, even if the player is broken. Blake Treinen got $10 million for Pete Bourjos’s sake! Any hoo! For Kluber fantasy value, I’m torn, because he feels like the type who can gut out a solid season, but that is soooooooooooo — yes, eleven O’s! — anecdotal and isn’t based on anything. But, also in his favor, he saved his arm last year from throwing another 200+ IP, which has to be good. Yes, I know his arm was injured, but it was a broken forearm. I’m not a doctor, but a forearm isn’t an elbow or shoulder injury, and a broken one is better than a strained one. Unfortunately, he had to be removed from a rehab assignment last year, due to diminished velocity, and, prior to the injury, his velocity was down and his ERA, FIP, xFIP were all up. Just too much risk and I’m out on Kluber this year. For 2020, my Kluber projections are 10-5/3.81/1.17/164 in 158 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in the offseason for 2020 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Brett Anderson to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
It doesn’t get much better than this folks. While everyone else is looking forward to fantasy football around the corner, the real fantasy all-stars are trying to grind out a fantasy baseball championship. For better or worse, your entire season comes down to a few critical matchups. That’s right, playoff Manaea is in full swing!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Stan Bush? Give me that beat! You got the Tauchman! You got the power! Yeah! You’ve never walked, you’ve never run! You’re a winner! (Though some may say running and walking aren’t bad for baseball.) You got the moves, you got the streets (not as important in baseball)! Break the rules (well, Barry Bonds had some success with this)! You’re nobody’s fool! Yeah! You’re at your best when the going gets rough! (This is true since the Yanks had some injuries and needed Mike Tauchman to step up.) You’ve been put to the test, but it’s never enough! (That’s less true; we appreciate you here, Tauchman). You got the Tauchman! You got the power! It’s all true! So, Mike Tauchman (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, hitting .299) hit another home run last night, his 10th, that’s in 60 games. And he stole a bag, his 4th! He now has three homers in two games, and four homers in the last week. I grabbed him in multiple leagues, because who doesn’t love dongs! Not this redblooded American! Hoo-rah, I got the Tauch!
Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the post, fantasy football RCLs have launched. Get in now!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you missed out on my RCL earlier don’t worry, there’s still plenty of other leagues open against other @Razzball writers. Join now for a chance to win a spot in #RazzBowl 2020, it’s FREE! https://t.co/SF1dgtZWCS
— DonkeyTeeth (@DonkeyTeeth87) August 6, 2019
Rob Manfred presses the button on a contraption that looks like a skinny hose, and juices spurt out. Rob looks up to the store clerk, “So, I just push this end of the hose inside the baseballs and juice comes out and balls go zoom?” “Zoom, baby, zoom.” “I’ll take 300 of them.” “You only want 300 homers?” “You’re right, I’ll take 45,000.” “Will do, Kemosabe. Hey, wanna see where I store the white pine tar that pitchers can use undetected?” “No, that’s illegal!” So, what’s this, three days in a row with a hitter hitting three homers in a game? Shizz is bizzonkers. Every year I say the same for Nelson Cruz (3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 23rd, 24th and 25th homer) and Edwin Encarnacion. They will hit home runs until they’re 50. That’s if they’re not already 50, then make it 70. When reached for comment after the game, Cruz said, “I could’ve hit four homers, but then you find out why Mark Whiten was called ‘Hard Hittin.'” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have to talk about these London games. They were bloody awful! Talk about giving the pitchers a lift, but lift as in British English, as in putting the pitchers on an elevator with Droopy Dog saying, “Going down?” This was like if The Spice Girls had a Cilantro Spice. The Yankees used a pitcher named Hale just to troll the Brits. They should’ve signed Ben Revere to a two-day contract, but just to have him scream at the front gates when the Brits were coming into the stadium. That would’ve been savage. Never forget, never surrender! Okay, now I’m just singing Corey Hart, WHO WAS CANADIAN BUT REACHED SUCCESS IN AMERICA! Any hoo! There was a ton of offense this weekend. Luke Voit bongo’ed four hits on Saturday, then pulled up lame because London’s healthcare system. The Yanks said he should be back on Tuesday, and the Brits said, “The Yanks said something.” Aaron Judge (1-for-2, 1 run) went donking (his 7th); Aaron Hicks (2-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs) said, “Dinger ain’t just the Rockies mascot,” with his 6th on Saturday; Brett Gardner (2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI) elicits female-like screams from Joe Buck when he went deep for his 12th homer on Saturday; Michael Chavis stepped up for the Sawx with two dongers on Saturday because the fence was 255 feet away and 0-for-5 on Sunday; Just Dong (3-for-4, 2 runs and his 18th) introduced his new cosplay character, Dongo Magnificent; Christian Vazquez (2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 11th homer) thumbed his nose up at all Protestant Vazquezes, and all pitchers got wrecked. I mean, Rick Porcello (1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.07) and Masahiro Tanaka (2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.74) should’ve forgot their passports and never even went. Oh well, as we know, hitters don’t need to be in London to tea off. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Leonys Martin was designated for assignment. His assignment is to go back in time and impress 2016 Grey less, so he doesn’t write a sleeper post about him. On Saturday, Indians were saying Martin’s DFA’ing is more to do with Mercado getting a boost of confidence vs. Bobby Bradley getting promoted, and the Indians were lying. Bobby Bradley was called up on Sunday. Fun fact! After Bobby Brady lost a pie-eating contest, his father Mike told him to take the L like a man and disowned him, so he briefly went by Bobby Bradley. Bradley has 24 HRs in 67 games, hitting .292, but has some Ks, so the average could come down, but the power is not going anywhere since the majors are using a SuperBall. As Prospect Mike said yesterday in his Bobby Bradley fantasy, even with the balls stuck with Capri Sun straws, dripping juice, Bradley could still hit 20 homers the rest of the way and every fantasy team could use him. I tried to grab him in every league, but was too slow. Don’t worry, I just did two lines of coke to avoid that ever happening again, but now my nose is dripping with a secret formula of caramel flavoring. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jordan Yamamoto (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 0.00) is the 1st pitcher to begin a career with back-to-back outings of 7+ scoreless while allowing three or fewer hits in the modern era. The modern era meaning from 1908, not from 2017 until now when baseballs were filled with helium, which caused Party City stores to close nationwide. This is exactly what everyone expected when the Marlins called up an 89-MPH fastball that was flame-retardant. “How fast does he throw?” A scout recently said to another scout who was holding a speed gun. “I’ll tell you when the ball passes the plate.” The scout sticks chew in his mouth, scratches his sweaty armpit, then, finally, “89-ish? Maybe. I might’ve just been taking a reading of that bird that flew overhead.” This goes back to my recently prophesied conspiracy theory that I introduced the other day regarding Zack Greinke. When everyone is throwing fast, it actually keeps hitters off-balance to throw slow. The Slow Pitch Theorized Conspiracy for Hardball (SPITCH) is fully realized now that it has an acronym. If you’re willing to gamble a bit, I could see grabbing Yamamoto in any league to see if he can keep it going. This could also hurt Zac Gallen’s chances of a promotion, and I don’t know who gets bumped for Caleb Smith. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
To the Muppet Show theme song, “It’s time to face the music! It’s time to say Asdrubal Cabrera is all right! It’s time to meet the Rangers on the Rangers show tonight!” Asdrubal Cabrera went 2-for-4 and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .222. Guess you can say that was an Asdouble homer night! Give me some skin up in the air! No? Okay. Asdrubal went cold the past three weeks after having a hot two weeks prior, and it sounds like I’m writing his autobiography. So, finally he said to his 4th grade gym teacher, “I will be someone one day,” and that teacher was Hunter Pence, who also hit a home run, his 9th as he hits .307. Pence aka The Gangly Manbird aka the Zombino aka the inflatable wavy guy outside of a used car lot has six homers in the past 11 games. He sure doesn’t stink, but you know who does? Rougned Odor (1-for-4, 3 RBIs, hitting .169) hit his 7th homer. Odor…Odor…Odor…Odor…*my back is pressed against a giant gym sock*…Odor! Seriously, you know when 25 homers is not feasible? When it comes with a .170 average. Pick up the pace, Odor, you odorous piece of pond scum! All of this offense was plenty for Mike Minor (6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.51). Nope, he’s not pitching as well as his ERA indicates, but at a certain point you have to say to yourself, “Do I want some flashy FIP, which I don’t even fully understand, or do I want to win my league?” But those runs were only barely enough for Clocks singer, Chris Martin (1 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.66). Bring back the South African dictator, Leclerc, which I say quietly to myself, so no one gets the wrong impression. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Michael Chavis continued to do nothing but hit Friday night going 2-for-4 with his fourth home run, a 459 foot 2-run shot (woh) off Reynaldo Lopez. Someone put a distress beacon on that ball so maybe Captain Marvel can find it in space!? Chavis is now slashing a real pretty .310/.442/.619 with four homers and two steals in just 42 at bats (13 games). Extrapolate that! If he started the season with the team he’d be the their home leader! I’m trying to figure out why he’s not owned in more leagues. Is it because he doesn’t have a sexy name like Skye Bolt or Carter Kieboom. Or maybe we haven’t done our due diligence as irritating members of Red Sox Nation to over hype this guy until you’re sick of hearing about him. Well, get ready to hear me gush about my newest BoSox heart throb because Chavis has done everything since arriving with Boston including five multi-hit games in his past 10. He’s famous around the clubhouse for the studious notes he takes after every at bat. Whaddaya think you’re some kinda smaht guy Hahvad boy? How do you like dem apples! Err, ok, wrong school but the reference still works. Did I mention the kid bats in the middle of a lineup that features Xander, JD and Mookie. Those are very good players we all know and love on a first name basis. Any hesitation most likely stems from the inevitable return of Eduardo Nunez and Dustin Pedroia (L out L) stealing his playing time, but I trust Alex Cora to play the young guys when the time comes. He was a BUY and needs to be owned wherever he’s available, Dustin and Eduardo don’t hit moon shots like that, folks. It’s time to join the Michael Chavis fan club.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Subliminally, I nod my whenever Reynaldo Lopez is mentioned. It’s a disease similar to Jimmy Legs; it’s called Lo-Pez Head. Yesterday, my Lo-Pez Head nodded for all the good he was doing (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunenrs (3 BBs), 14 Ks, ERA at 6.03). Lopez faced Murmurer’s Row of Detroit and sent them down, down, down, down–how many downs is that? 4 downs at three downs per down, that’s still only 12 downs and he had 14. Damn, that’s too many Ks for even the Alt-Right Sox. Usually Reynaldo Lopez rattles off a bag of Dick Poles. Am I now interested? Do I look *makes nutter rolly finger motion on side of head*? He was once a big-time prospect with a mid-90s MPH fastball that can hit straight-boing type levels. I see his current 11.2 K/9 and get weak in the knees, can barely speak, but his 4.9 BB/9 is his usual Pitfall Harry and his 5.47 xFIP doesn’t scream confidence like a man with 100-point font. I’d continue to view him as a streamer for now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?