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Please see our player page for Zach Plesac to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

As you might’ve heard, Matt Mervis was called up, but, more incredibly, Eric Hosmer grounded into a double play while he was sitting on a bench. Those boos aren’t from fans for Eric Hosmer; they are boos from Eric Hosmer because he’s a ghost of his former self. This is funny in a “how stupid am I” way: So, I saw Christian Encarnacion-Strand posted himself on Instagram in a Reds uniform, then deleted it, so that means he’s coming, right? Of course! So, I dropped Matt Mervis for CES. Hey, if you can’t laugh at me, at least cry with me. Welp, I just gave you my Matt Mervis fantasy last week. Not much to add. I mean, there’s a lot to add, like Matt Mervis for one! Hopefully this waiver claim goes through dropping CES. I’m so stupid! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s no direct evidence that the more handsome a pitcher the more he’s going to screw you over — that we know of. We just haven’t studied it yet! Someone take a ruler and measure the distance between the eyes on Michael Kopech (4 2/3 IP, 7 ER). Now measure the inches on his curve break. Do they match? The golden ratio that is his cheekbones, is that equal to his current 13.50 ERA? This is not eugenics, because we’re doing it for fantasy baseball purposes and not fantasy exterminations. Wonder if Kopech was tipping his pitches, because, while I don’t have a ton of faith in him, that was even bad for the pretty boy. First up, Joc Pederson (1-for-3) hit his 2nd homer. Buckle up! Joc is the type to hit 24 homers in five games, then nothing for three months. Then Mike Yastrzemski (2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 1st homer. Carl’s Jr. Jr. said make the 1st one animal style! Next up, Michael Conforto (2-for-6) hit his 1st homer. More incredibly, Conforto still hasn’t injured himself. Then Thairo Estrada (2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (1) and legs (2). That’s Thairo Estrada sleeper to you. Hopefully, he’s fine, because he left the game after taking a foul off his leg. Finally, David Villar (2-for-4, 5 RBIs) hit his 1st and 2nd homer, and this sucks. I really need Casey Schmitt to replace this schmohawk. C’mon, Villar ill will, do your job! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I can’t tell you how excited I am to be back! This is my first article of the season, and we’re back at it with the streamers! If you’re familiar with my Ride the Wave piece from the past, then you’re in for a treat. We’ll be doing the same thing as last year but […]

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What’s up, Razzball Naaaaation? Look, not all titles can be winners every week. If I picked who got injured in a week, their name would be a lot easier to pun-ize or pun-a-nate. That level of power sounds terrifying, but my fantasy team would be decent. Welcome to Razzball Ambulance Chasers, your weekly fantasy baseball […]

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This is the top 100 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball? This is the top 100 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball! Which means. Dot dot dot. This is the end of the 2023 fantasy baseball rankings. I can reclaim my fingers! Wait, I still have to do the top 100 overall and top 500 overall. Hmm, that was short-lived. Subscriptions are up and running, and they come with our Fantasy Baseball Draft War Room, now for auction leagues, snake leagues, Best Ball leagues and AL-Only and NL-Only leagues. Here’s Steamer’s 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping. If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 for 2023 fantasy baseball and start this shizz all over again. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball:

NOTE I: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE II: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

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About a month ago, we joined hands in a prayer circle and prayed to the Ghost of Tommy John that he wouldn’t claim the elbows of any of our fantasy starters. So far, so good. Tommy John must have approved of our sacrifice of Coolwhip and offerings of Orange Julius! Thank you for your service to Razzball, Whip, and please don’t haunt us. We were just trying to win! But for real, Whip is alive and kicking and that Orange Julius in fresh in my hand, ready for slurping through a hot dog straw.

The majority of y’all who are still attending my weekly starting pitcher therapy sessions are here because you’re in the fantasy playoffs. If so, drop me a line in the comments and let me know what you need, friend! For everybody else, I assume you’re here either because of inertia, my jokes, or you just want to see if I somehow lose my sanity and tell you to spend all of your dynasty bucks on Sandy Alcantara. The latter will never happen. 

Let’s jump in and see what we can do for your fantasy playoffs! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hola, fellow español speakers! Today’s word is Triston Casas (1-for-4)! Let’s break it down into parts! Triston is pronounced Tris like a Tris Speaker. Not the old-timey baseball player, but like a speaker who is saying the word Tris. Next part is ton like, “I ate a ton of churros and now I am sneezing cinnamon sugar.” Say the last name with me now…Ca-thathss. The last part you say like a Spanish snake. Like a snake you find in the desert outside of Barth-a-lona. A snake with a lisp. Try the whole thing now, Triston Cathathss. Bueno! *maracas around room* Cathathss! Cathathss! Cathathss! So, yesterday or today or last week doesn’t really matter for when the Red Sox called up Triston Casas, but if you think he was called up on Sunday simply because now he’s earned his place, like he got the ring from Gollum and deposited in the mouth of some volcano or whatever that quest was of those hill trolls, you’re sadly mistaken. Triston Casas has been ready for a while, but baseball is still broken for when prospects are called up. Rather than change the world’s problems today, let’s look at Triston Casas. Hey, what do you know, I already gave you my Triston Casas fantasy! So ridiculous that I figured (correctly) he’d have 300+ ABs this year. Because he’s been ready! If you don’t care what I say, here’s what Itch said, “Triston Cases has learned late at-bat traits to help him hang against a variety of experienced pitchers, and perhaps he’s carried some of those hang-in-there strategies to early-count situations against pitchers he’s never seen before. Whatever it is, I like it. Unlike Grey, who I hate.” Really not cool! I’d grab Triston Casas in every league. He’s got elite approach and power. For what he will do the final month? No one knows, because it’s a small sample, but worth finding out. Finally, Casas is home. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Hologram Harry Caray leading the nation, nay, the world in Take Me Out To The Ballgame at the Field of Dreams game, wait, what’s this? Hologram Tupac, Hologram Babe Ruth and Hologram Barbara Bush have joined him, embracing. It’s East Coast, West Coast, Midcoast and Southcoast coming together, as only holograms can! If holograms can come together, then why can’t we, as people, come together? Rob Manfred has done it again!” *wavy lines* Oh my God, we’ve been inside a Rob Manfred’s dream sequence! It was a Field of Dreams dream! AHHH!!! I need to shower! So, the Field of Dreams game went off again without a hitch. Oops, I mean without a Hitch, meaning Will Smith and Kevin James both were not in attendance. For some reason, MLB thought the Reds and Cubs should be rewarded that showcase. If you’re going to have two teams who are trying to lose games, and dismantle its stars, then why not do a Major League theme in Cleveland? One thing baseball has is decent movies. Why not do a different one each year? Bull Durham theme one year in a MiLB park; The Natural theme one year in a lightning storm; The Rookie theme one year with all old players. The possibilities are endless! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As we march diligently toward the halfway point of the season, we are getting closer and closer to knowing who players are for the season. But we are also still getting surprised every day. Devin Smeltzer is a top-five pitcher over the last two weeks? Alfonso Rivas would have won fantasy managers a matchup last […]

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

“Ayo, this is Joey in the People Interested in Zee Zee #1 Americans — aka PIZZA, we serve the people who serve it  — how may I direct your call? I’m very sorry, you’re looking for Tony — bada bing bada boom — he’s in charge of helping people put up Xmas lights. That department doesn’t open until August.” Phone rings with another call, “Ayo, this is Joey in the People Interested in Zee Zee #1 Americans — aka PIZZA, we serve the people who serve it. You’re wondering about Vinnie Pasquantino and Nick Pratto? Ayo, bada bing bada boom, letta me pull up Minor League Stats dot com, ayy, and see what we have here. Vinnie Pasquantino is 24 years old, and he’s got 15 HRs in 52 games at Triple-A. Ayy, what kind of cheap ess-oh-bees are these Royals they don’t promote my boy, Vinnie? I oughta date their sister and call her by my mother’s name to insult her, ya know whadda I mean? Vinnie’s also hitting .280+ with great contact? Va fangool! He should be up already? What, they need Carlos Santana? He should get sent to the Phils, so he can reunite with Rob Thomson. Okay, let me see this here Nick Pratto. Oh, he’s younger and his numbers are not nearly as good, and that hurts for me to say, being Joey, the Front Desk Ambassador at PIZZA. Yeah, I just like Vinnie Pasquantino right now. Ayo, waddya know, bada bing bada boom. Thanks for calling!” I agree with Joey from PIZZA. Vinnie Pasquantino should be called up soon, and Pratto looks like he needs more seasoning. Maybe some oregano? It’s not a stretch to say the Royals need a yoot movement. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?